Monday B*fest, 12/12 - Page 2 — The Bump
February 2017 Moms

Monday B*fest, 12/12


Re: Monday B*fest, 12/12

  • I do all the laundry and 80% of the dishes, as well as cleaning the main living areas and cooking most meals. H takes out the garbage as long as it's bagged up and set by the back door, cleans the toilets, and will occasionally make a big meal we can eat leftovers of for days. He works more hours than I do and has a more physically demanding job. Plus he drives me around everywhere because I hate driving, so I consider it fair. 
  • also +1 to everything @NiceyMeany said
  • Not to AW my husband, but I'm feeling like he is a saint grown-ass man reading this thread. 
    @MissMerciBeaucoup FTFY ;)

    Your husband does sound like a keeper.  Maturity, regardless of whether it's earned through age or effort, is attractive in anyone.  Sounds like you're both excellent partners who are on the same page.
  • Im going to aw my husband here too cause hands up i am a lazy bish! He does all the laundry (i leave his work shirts in to be ironed every fortnight) & i have a cleaner that comes for 2 hours every week. I do all food related stuff like grocery shopping & making lunches & dinners but he does all outside chores too. We both work full time & having a cleaner just makes life so much easier. I intend to keep on the cleaner when im on leave all of next year but will probably do the ironing myself given that ill have more time at home.
  • It's interesting to read how everyone else handles this stuff.  

    During the warm months, I give DH a bit of a pass on inside stuff because he does the mowing, weed whacking, etc.  I've also named him 'equipment manager' which entails fixing everything around the house (from plumbing to the wireless printer).  I do the grocery shopping, cooking and most of the kitchen cleaning (although I've recently given up on loading/un-loading the dishwasher b/c of the bending).  I also do all the laundry b/c I have a ton of dry flat stuff and he can't be bothered to read every tag.  I wash and dry and then put all his stuff in baskets, which he tends to live out of and only fold/put away when we have company.  Otherwise, we tend to split the cleaning pretty evenly: bathrooms, living spaces, etc.

    During the winter months, I expect a bit more help because I do a lot of the shoveling.  I get home earlier and it's easier to get it done before we both pack down the driveway with our cars.  (I was actually sad driving home today because I know I can't get out there and shovel before he gets home.)

    All that being said, I know we have a lot of work to do on expectations before my maternity leave ends.  I know that I will probably be doing more with the LO around feeding, if BF works out as planned, and other stuff because I tend to work fewer hours.  We've discussed getting a cleaning service for after I go back to work and that might be our best option to avoid annoyance with each other going forward.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • It's been hard in our household. I started working for the first time since we got married/living together. (7years) 
    I started working 1 year ago. and now I have two jobs, so I'm hardly home. But that being said. DH does NO work around the house. all summer I mowed the lawn, I did the housework, and took care of our son. 

    Now that I have two jobs, I really wish he would get off his ass on the weekend and do something around the house. I get home from being on my feet for 14+ hours, and nothing is done. dishes are piled up, the house is just a wreck. The least he could do is get outside and take care of the leaves and yard. Nope, I have to do everything. and I don't have the energy or the strength to do it anymore. He sits on his ass, and drink beer all damn day on the weekend. Yes, he works also M-F, 8-4. but I will work from 10-3, come home get our son from school, only to wait for him to get home by 5, so I can leave for my second job working 6-11. Weekends, I will work from 9-2 one job, the second one 3-11. 

    This past Saturday, he texts me at work to tell me a fish died(that was at 2pm). I get home close to midnight, and the damn fish is dead in the tank. I leave for work and come back the next day. The damn thing stayed in there until Monday night! when he finally asked me where the net was at (which is where it's always at under the sink!)

    I wish we had in the budget for a maid to come in once a week or every two weeks, but we just don't have the money which is why I'm working two jobs to help with bills, and cover Christmas this year. 

    He does do his own laundry or do things that will directly benefit him. But nothing for around the house.

    sorry for the long rant, but it's been getting on my nerves for the last week. 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Maternity tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • @ChaoticWolf - Sorry I totally missed yours. I have been in that boat before too. It took me really putting my foot down and having a serious talk with DH to get him on the ball. He has never really done housework our whole relationship, aside from helping to cook so he got spoiled and I let it go for a long time. Until he got laid off and I got KU and was like OK, this is so not going to fly anymore. It took a few conversations and one really serious talk about how me getting stressed out is not good for our baby, and his Mom asking him (out of the blue without any knowledge of what was going on) if he was stepping up to help me especially since he isn't working I should be coming home and resting and reinforcing what I said to get his ass in gear. Sometimes we really need to put our foot down and demand some change, especially since we are pregnant and soon enough our lives will be even more different with a new baby coming into the picture. At the very least he should be helping with some of the tasks and if he doesn't want to do them on his day off then he can do it on a work day before or after work.  

  • I feel like we used to do much better with splitting chores.   Since having kids, I have been home more,  and while I work full time as a Realtor,  I have busy periods or slow periods, so it isn't always consistent what my schedule will be.  One thing that drives me nuts is when he used to help more,  there were just the two of us,  so helping with laundry once a week on the weekends was fine.   Well,  newsflash, there are now 5, almost 6 of us and that makes for a whole heck of a lot more of everything.  Laundry,  dishes,  trips to the store for more milk,  my workload has quadrupled,  and his help has diminished.   

    Our kids are old enough now that in theory they can help with a lot.  In practicality,  we are busy weeknights,  they are in school all day and they are not always there when I need things done they can do.   

    I am with everyone that says you can be right or you can be happy,  and I try to remember to make him lists and praise him for helping.   My filter is not so solid during pregnancy though,  so if I am thanking him for doing the dishes last night,  I might throw in that I had done them once or twice a day for the past week,  but thanks for pitching in this one time since I asked you to. 
    Married - 7/29/06
    Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 
    Mia - 6/16/11
    Surprise! due 2/23/17

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I think my pregnancy and morning sickness was a HUGE eye opener for DH on how much I do around the household that he doesn't have to worry about. That is equally on me though, for just doing it and not insisting on better distribution of things before now.

    We also had a cleaner coming every two weeks, and someone to keep up with the lawn. After previous talks about who had to do what with both of us working a lot, it just made life better. The plan post-baby/recovery with me staying home is that I will eventually take on the majority of the indoor house work. I think this time of him having to do the majority of the tasks has really been a growing experience for him though. He has a new appreciation of me keeping things running smoothly.
    Rainbow baby Dean is due 2/17/17!
  • @krob I feel like I live the suburban version of your life :p
  • krobkrob
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2016
    @PerraSucia we are each other's bizzaro world. #seinfeld
    Me: 36, H: 37
    FTM, 2 Furbabies
    married 03/17/07
    lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
    due: 2/15/17
  • DH does all the laundry. Thankfully. I hate doing all the kids clothes (how many times can 3 kids change per day???) and he calls me a "sloppy folder". So it's all him! LOL
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • It is really interesting reading how everyone splits household chores. Seems like we all do it a bit differently which I guess makes sense with everyone having different situations. Right now while DH and I both work we split chores pretty 50/50. I probably cook a bit more than he does but really it's because I like doing it, though he's been a godsend on nights when I'm just too tired he's a great cook too! I am kind of ashamed to admit that we often let cleaning slide and have a big deep clean day every month or so. When the baby is born and I'm home I will take over the vast majority of the household chores, cleaning, laundry, cooking, dishes etc... but DH will keep the outside stuff like mowing/snow blowing. He'll probably also do the grilling on nights we grill since he loves doing it. 
    Me: 29 | DH: 30
    Married: October, 19, 2015
    EDD 2/22/17 <3 DS born on 3/2/17
    (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
  • When we lived in the city, I feel like I did 90% of the household work. H mostly worked from home, but still couldn't find time to rinse out a cereal bowl or pick up his laundry. It drove me insane and I would have to point-blank tell him "if the sink is full when I get home from work, I cannot not make dinner right away." So occasionally he would remember to do the dishes. But not often. But now that we're in the 'burbs, he's been awesome and seriously does pretty much every household task except kitchen stuff, about which I have stopped complaining. Plus we have a dishwasher now, which makes things a million times easier. It's even empty on occasion when I get home. So I've learned it's a (slow) process- he is a good guy but stubborn AF and brow-beating has never worked. He's had to realize on his own what I need help with and what we're both good at. 
    Married: 2011
    TTC #1: 3/2016
    Me 39 - DH 44
    BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
    DD born 2/3/17
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