Naming alignment with partner and family

Kipperoo

Just thinking about names...as always...and wondering, how is the conversation going for you with your partner? Are you guys on the same page? Totally different pages? Is it just one sided or is he/she coming to the table with suggestions? Are you telling your families/do you think they will like your choices?

For me...we've got a name or two that we think we like, but I'm the super picky one and I just can't commit. I'd say DH and I are mostly on the same page, but he dislikes a lot of the names I come up with. I feel like the process is 90% driven by me, 10% by him (and that's probably being generous to him). He gives SOME ideas, but generally just shoots down the ones I give him and when he does give ideas, I usually absolutely hate them, so I guess I'd prefer he leave it to me.

In terms of the family...with my son, I told everyone what we were naming him (Sullivan) and got a lot of adverse reactions from my husbands 5 sisters and mother. My family loved it. We went with it anyway. This go around, I'm not sure that we will tell them what we're naming her. I hated second guessing myself and trying to find another name that we loved as much. But I'm also terrible at keeping secrets, so will likely let the cat out of the bag as soon as we are pretty sure we've got it figured out. 

RainyDays86

I'm in the same boat @Kipperoo re: husband naming choices, especially for girl names.  I'm driving the process like 90% and he dislikes a lot of the names I come up with, including my favorite.  I don't love most of his ideas either.  I think we're set on boy names, but we're team green so we'll need both.

Jkp7749

so glad to hear it's not just my husband who isn't into it all that much. I want to have names picked so bad, but I don't want him to be so blah about picking. it's making me not like any of the names because I feel like he isn't excited about them. He wants to hurry through it and tries to negotiate like "If I look at names for 10 minutes, can I play playstation?" SO ANNOYING. with my daughter there was this aha moment where we both knew it was the one and there was no going back and forth after that, that was it. I don't feel that this time. 

Kipperoo

Jkp7749  TOTALLY feel you on the husband not seeming excited about the name conversations. He'll participate, but he's just like "yeah, that's ok"...I keep hoping for a "yes! I think that's the one!", but I don't see that happening. 

PghMom412

We haven't even started to talk about names. I struggle because my favorite boy name is Noah, but it's too common for me and it's too closeriously to our daughters name (Nora). 

Our daughter is named after her great grandmothers and everyone had a positive response to her name for that reason. We didn't tell any names until after she was born...we were team green.

We are team green again so it's back to square 1 for names. I still don't think we will tell anyone until after baby is here.

@Kipperoo good luck! I feel like it will be the same ratio of suggestions with me and DH which is probably why I've been putting it off.

Kipperoo

PghMom412 , it's a girl this time. I actually think it would have been much easier if it was a boy--we already had a running list of names that we loved. I know that we'll eventually pick a name. I just like to have a long time to make 100% sure that I'm thrilled with it. Nora is really pretty, BTW!

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

Slightly off topic, but maybe we should start a thread of considered, but discarded, names so we can steal inspiration from each other.

Louise_Belcher

I think we have discussed names for a cumulative 10 minutes. We basically know the boy name. I am not thrilled about the middle name, but I know it is the right one to pick. I think I am the one avoiding the conversation regarding a girls names, because it is going to be a debate and I don't want to have it unless we have to. So probably after we find out sex we will work harder on it. We will not be telling. I prefer to keep that until the end, so I can change my mind and avoid unwanted opinions. 

Kipperoo

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said:

Slightly off topic, but maybe we should start a thread of considered, but discarded, names so we can steal inspiration from each other.

Love this idea! I'm happy to start it...as I sit here trying to kill another 20 minutes in my workday before I leave to break my DS out of daycare...

onebadmotha

I have the opposite issue- my husband is quite opinionated about names! He gives more deference to my opinions, since I'm birthing the kid, but I want him to love whatever name we pick, not just accept it. We're team green for the second time. We still love our girl name from last time, Eleanor. Our current boy name is Henry, which I love, but fear is too popular in my area. 

As far as telling family, we are trying not to, but it's hard. We ended up telling MIL right after DS was born that our girl name was Eleanor, and she hated it. But that makes me love it all the more

I love @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot's idea for a considered but discarded names thread! 

MrsFox2008

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot love the idea! 

DH and I are decided on a girl name we both like but when it comes to boy names were undecided! 

megchelle

We're in agreement with first names but I think middle names will be more tricky. He doesn't always like the same names I do so this will take more time. The first names we picked for a boy or a girl we already decided on before I got pregnant. Our families don't have an opinion (thank goodness) about our name picks. 

ShadeofGreen816

We haven't really discussed it since the week we got our BFP. Over a year ago, we had a drunken conversation about names and "picked" a girl and boy name. I still like them, but I'm not ready to commit. MH on the other hand, told our family we were "decided" when we told them at 5 weeks. I was like "WAIT! Lets not pull the trigger so soon!" Once w know the sex, I think we'll discuss a little more seriously. Who knows, maybe we'll end up with plan A anyway.

ChristinaWild

@kipperoo - I can totally relate on the name struggle! If we were having another boy, we already knew what we would name him, but we haven't had any luck finding a girl name that we both agree on. Admittedly, I haven't pushed much, so that's part of the problem.

vrj0522

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot - I love that idea!

So I've had a running and ever-changing name list since we had #1. This time around I didn't want to get into the conversation for a long time, simply because I've felt like DH and I have opposite tastes in names. DH kept asking what I thought we should name our kid and I just kept saying "I have a list that I've been working on" but not really getting into the conversation. Anyway, last week he asked me about a specific name and I told him that it happened to be on my list so I finally pulled out the list and showed it to him. He said all those names were great and we could probably pick one from it. It had 9 names I think and I immediately made him take the 3 he liked the least out and then over the last few days we took 2 more out and that's left us at 4. I think that there are 2 that he likes best, funny enough neither of those is the name that he had asked me about before, but since it is my list, I kind of love them all, and hence my poll. I keep asking him for names that he likes but he hasn't contributed any so I'm going with it since he does seem to love two of the names.

We've always shared our names before we come up with them and honestly, we don't really care what others think. They can name their own kids. We've been lucky though that we're this far into the process of picking and haven't had family get-togethers for people to give their input. We'll see family for Thanksgiving and I'm hoping by then we only have 2 names to choose from so that the opinions are curtailed. 

Kipperoo

@shadeofgreen816, I think if alcohol could be involved in this, we'd come to an agreement much quicker, haha...

slam1110

We have a running list that we add/delete every now and then.  Basically I will add the names, and then every once in a while I will go through them with DH and we will nix what we both don't like.  It's mostly me adding the names, but he adds some every now and then. 
Once we know the sex we will get more serious about it.
We did not tell the names with either of our kids and won't be telling again with this one.  It's our one surprise and it drives the parents crazy, so win win   It is going to be hard though not talking about the name with our kids around, since they can't keep a secret, so we may just feed them random names just in case the family tries to be sneaky and get the name out of them.

lilmisscrafty-2

We've both been suggesting names. Him mostly boys, me girls. The problem is that we're both very picky and seem to hate every name that's suggested. My MIL has been emailing me girls names and I hate them all. Thankfully Hubby hates his mom's suggestions too, so I don't always have to be the bad guy. 

MoshiMoshi7

We sort of have a running list of boy names since had DS but I don't know if I'm in love with any of them. If this ends up being a girl, we're in trouble because I don't think we've found one name that we agree upon yet. When we named DS, it was 95% me suggesting names and DH shooting them down. The name we ended up going with (Ezra) was an instant yes from both of us. I hope that aha moment happens again.

With DS, we told everyone as soon as we decided and I'm glad we did. My MIL had a not great reaction--disgusted face and "isn't that a girl's name?" (No, MIL, it's not) I'm glad people like her had a few months to get used to the name and I got no negative comments after he was born (when I probably would have flipped out). I also think everyone using his name made the whole pregnancy seem a lot more real.

hp_momma

We have never ever agreed on a boys name! DH thinks that's why we've ended up having two girls haha. So we throw ideas back and forth and I have a running list of names we like, but we probably won't have a more serious conversation til we find out boy/girl. Of course we have already easily agreed on a girls name so DH thinks we are "doomed" for a third girl! 

bacorrea

We have a boy name. Still talking about girl names. My husband loves normal names like Sarah, I don't so it's a struggle to come up with girl names. We will get more serious about it once we know the sex. I'm hoping I will know December 7th, but if not it won't be until sometime in January.
We tell my family, I have younger siblings so they are good at coming up with ways the name could be made fun of. Other than that nobody will know until birth.

achays11

We already have our girl name and top two choices for a boy name. We are Team Green, so we will need both. I gave MH the final decision on the boy name since both are family names on his side. We have shared all choices with my family and they like them. We are keeping them a bit of a secret from MH's family since we don't want one side to get offended if we don't choose the name from that side. Our girl mn though is a secret since it is after both of our mom's and we want them to be surprised. 

We don't usually have trouble coming up with names. Although MH nixed my top boy name and I am still sad about it. 

IvyMagic828

It's going to be a struggle.  I hate pretty much all boy names.  Just don't like them.  And even if I do like a few, DH generally doesn't like the same ones.  We didn't even discuss girl names because our first was a boy.  We also didn't finalize the name until the day we left the hospital.  I don't even really want to think about names until I know what we're having this time.  I look through lists of names and try to find some I like.  DH just thinks about it and a few pop in his head that he brings up, which I generally do not like.  His choice of girl names is particularly appalling.. I don't know what we'll do, haha.  Plus, any name I do come up with, he has to like the meaning of the name, not just the name itself, so that's an extra layer of problems.

He does want his family's input but I do not, because if we manage to agree on a name, I don't really need anyone else's opinion making it more difficult.  However, he won't listen to me on that front.  Luckily his family isn't too judgmental.

Luckyu317

We're pretty much on the same page. We started a list, and keep adding to it and taking names off. We've got 9 girl's names and 6 or 7 boy's names. Since we know they're both girls, we've almost got it narrowed down to the final two.

mrsrep123

Totally opposite in that my DH is constantly bringing it up. I've been thinking about it here and there but DH will bring it up like every other day. We were out house shopping (again) today so we had pleeeeeenty of time in the car and we finally have two solid choices for boy first names. Now we need some middle name options. 

We didnt share our first son's name with anyone until I was admitted to the hospital. Our nurse asked us so she could write in on the board and we both still hesitated, lol. 

I'm glad my son and his name totally mesh but sometimes I wonder what happens if it doesn't? Can you change ALL those forms already signed while in the hospital??

flychick-2

With our first 2 kids it was so hard. DS didn't officially get his name til we were at the hospital because we just couldn't agree.

This one was easy because we know it's our last baby and both the first and middle names come from our families and we both like the name. We're lucky that this one is a girl because a boy name would have been harder.

starphish18

We're both pretty picky about names, but on the same page. We started talking about baby names on our honeymoon, which was over 3 years ago. We loved Liam then for a boy, but I don't like that it's so popular now. We definitely have more girl names we both love (which is convenient since we're having a girl), so I think it will be a matter of settling on a few and picking one when we see her for the first time. I don't know if I can settle on one before meeting her. I want to make sure it feels right.

mcvgal

Neither of my boys had a name until after they were born. This time around DH actually brought it up first and we have discussed a few names. The only one he vetoed was Lucas since he knows I was making a Star Wars reference with our May the Fourth due date.

nda_roxybabe

I've always been obsessed with names so I've had a running list for, forever. When we found out we were pregnant my husband immediately started his own list and so far, we've been quite in tune. There's been a few where he will say a name and I'll be like "that's on my list!".

achays11

Last night we asked DD (2 1/2) which of our boys names she liked better and she was very adamant about one of them. She even said "not XXXX". I think it's cute that if this baby is a boy she helped us pick his name. 

LCRbelle

Yeah DH and I are not really in agreement on names.  I'm incredibly picky and like names out of the top 100.  He likes more common names and his list is literally all in the top 20. We have two names (one boy one girl) that we are considering. Just can't quite commit just yet!  

pshaortao

We haven't discussed names at all yet and would rather wait until we know the sex. With DD we didn't really start to discuss until I was in the third trimester. We at least narrowed it down to three first names, and we were set on a middle name. We didn't decide officially until at least 24 hours after she was born. =X

We never discussed it with family because we didn't want their opinions to sway us or make us doubt our decision. Not announcing until birth was nice and finalized and if there was anybody who didn't like it, they didn't tell us.

diana_3481

I am one of the lucky ones.  We are having a girl but either way the middle name is set in stone.. Russell (my fathers name who passed away).  We had a list of names we liked on the fridge and just kept adding to the list as we heard names we liked.  Figuring we had months to nail it down.  One morning my boyfriend threw out the name Sophia...and I love it.  It feels like it just "fits".  We still have 5 months to change our minds but we are already calling her Sophia when we talk to her.

vrj0522

LCRbelle said:

Yeah DH and I are not really in agreement on names.  I'm incredibly picky and like names out of the top 100.  He likes more common names and his list is literally all in the top 20. We have two names (one boy one girl) that we are considering. Just can't quite commit just yet!  

DH and I are similar. He likes top 10 names and I like less popular ones. Very early on I put a nix on the top 20 because I don't want my kid to be one of several everywhere he goes but that just makes it harder to agree because those are the names he likes.

mrsmctaggart6

Ugh, we never agreed on a boy name last time and the one girl name we liked this time dh's parents just named their cat... last time was easy because if it was a girl we were always going to name her after my god mother. Now he has one boy name that he likes, I have another and there's one name that we're both kinda ok with but not crazy about. Can I force his parents to rename their cat if it's a girl? Lol

RainyDays86

@mrsmctaggart6 my cousin is naming his baby Henry which is our aunt'a dogs name. I don't think it's a huge deal to use a pet's name for a kid. I mean it's kind of weird but not worth ditching your favorite name.