Telling Extended Family

KMD1106

We are thinking about announcing on FB next week, but haven't told our aunts or uncles yet. Last time we sent out a family email, but DH's grandma asked him to call everyone. So I'm second guessing the email thing this time. How did you tell extended family? 

ShadeofGreen816

Take this with a grain of salt because I come from a large extended family with a fair amount of politics. Basically I've told (or my mom spilled the beans with some of her siblings) all the people I am in regular contact with. The others I feel like it's ok to find out via our public FB post in a couple weeks. A huge reason I'm doing a FB post is because I have so much out of town family that it would be a pain to try to call or tell them all individually. 

MoshiMoshi7

We also have big extended families. We told the ones we are close to in person or over the phone and everyone else, I feel comfortable with finding out on Facebook. I think an email would be sufficient for the family you aren't as close to.

mcvgal

we told our parents and siblings in person and over phone for those long distant ones. We had a death in the family a few weeks ago. At the funeral, my aunt asked when I was having a girl. (I hate that question.) I straight up told her that we weren't finding out but the baby would be here in April. She felt guilty for putting me on the spot, and I'm glad she felt bad. That spread the word to my aunts and uncles on my mom's side. For even more extended family, we will let Facebook and word of mouth do the job.

sarah0985

I'm just showing up to Christmas wearing this and hoping I have a bump big enough to fill it in. (Currently nothing)


 I live over seas so phone calls aren't an option. I'm super close with my dads family and all in Chicago so they'll be together at Christmas.  Since I wasn't able to tell either sides immediate family in person, I want to tell my extended family in person.  My moms family are all over the country so I'll probably send them a photo before we talk on Christmas morning. 
I don't intend to put anything on fb at this time. 

achays11

I texted a picture to my mom's side who I am all very close with. We have a family chain with my aunt's and several cousins so that was the easiest way. For MH's extended family, they all found out via our Facebook post. 

kat81

If you have been requested to make a phone call, you ought to make a phone call. Phone is better safe than sorry. Also remember that relative types (i.e. gen X and older people) often don't use/check facebook that much. It sucks to find out last and to feel like you're finding out after random high school acquaintances on fb.

OmegaRose3

Last time we told our relatives that live close by in person or via phone call, I'm the only one with living grandparents but both live a decent distance away so I phoned/emailed as well and everyone else found out on Facebook.
This time DH told his family way earlier than my comfort zone and I keep running into situations where my in-laws told random people and distant cousins and it's incredibly awkward. Now I'm suffering from some serious "Second Pregnancy Syndrome" and don't know when I'll do the big announcement as every time I call my grandpa I don't bring up the pregnancy, making it wrong for me to post anything yet...so who knows...people might not find out about this pregnancy until I'm labor.

kat81

OmegaRose3 said:

..so who knows...people might not find out about this pregnancy until I'm labor.

I didn't do anything on facebook about my second until she was born. Told everyone else the old fashioned way. That is better, IMO, than preempting "important" people (i.e. important people and family who consider themselves important) with a mass facebook announcement.

starphish18

We told both of our sets of parents a while back. For our siblings and close friends, we either told them in person or called. We just gave our parents the go ahead to tell people, as well, so they're spreading the news to their brothers and sisters (our aunts and uncles). We're keeping the pregnancy off Facebook, so any other extended family (like cousins) will either find out through the family chain or during the holidays. 

emilyalso

With our first, extended family found out when we announced on FB. This time (for my family at least), I am announcing at Thanksgiving so my parents and extended family will find out at the same time and in person. 

JCWhitey

I have 28 first cousins who each have 1-5 kids each.  I think my family just assumes everyone is always pregnant.  We tend to just tell people as we see them or find out on Facebook.  Since it's not really a huge deal we don't do anything grand.  I'm also not announcing on Facebook or anything, so I'm sure some more distant relatives won't even know until we show up at a family gathering either super pregnant or with a baby.  My family is very close, but it's hard to keep track of everyone!

champhe

Some are getting a text, some are getting a call. I'm telling a lot of one side of the family at a get together this weekend. 

WombThereItIs

My clan is large and we don't live near anyone. We tell our parents who pass everything along although I think that is pretty atypical. I have cousins relatively out of the loop who commented on newborn photos like "hey, didn't know you were pregnant but that's cool". No harm, no foul. 

For most people though I would assume a wider range of calls would be appropriate or a catch all announcement at a big get together. 

march2008

We call immediate family members and closest friends in person or on the phone. For extended family and some friends, what we did the last time was sent them all a group email. There were just too many to call.

This time, I'm kind of hoping my MIL will just share with everyone at Thanksgiving. We won't be able to be with them this year, but I don't mind if she tells everyone because it spares me being the center of attention.

CCNellans

We are having 2 Thanksgivings (one with DH side, and one my side), and this is my 2nd so we just got a big brother shirt for DS and he'll wear that to both. First relative to notice him and what it says, wins LOL - Our parents both already know and are sworn to secrecy since we had problems with 2 before this one. I have an appt Wednesday of this week so we'll be confirmed before Thanksgiving and more comfortable telling everyone.

Kipperoo

WombThereItIs said:

My clan is large and we don't live near anyone. We tell our parents who pass everything along although I think that is pretty atypical. I have cousins relatively out of the loop who commented on newborn photos like "hey, didn't know you were pregnant but that's cool". No harm, no foul. 

For most people though I would assume a wider range of calls would be appropriate or a catch all announcement at a big get together. 

This is exactly how my family is. I told my parents and siblings--it's up to them to circulate to the family they live near. We will probably do some kind of Facebook announcement to catch all the people who haven't heard via word of mouth. Or maybe we'll just wait until the baby comes and announce her then, haha... 

Luckyu317

@Kompel2B...a whole thread full of answers.

lizzyfroggy

I was going to announce on FB to our friends and my family once we reach the 3rd trimester. Now I think I am just going to wait until baby arrives and post a birth announcement. My plan is to hide the bump over the holidays and just ignore any questions.

I just don't want to deal with the family response and DH doesn't want to tell his at all. He and his family are not really on speaking terms right now so that's fine by me.

nda_roxybabe

I let my parents spread the news to my side of the family who they wanted to tell personally. The rest of my family found out on FB. Now, this is pretty normal with our family and I'm fairly certain no one was offended as this is kind of how everyone does it. Pretty much the same with H's family.