My Mother/MIL said...

FTM53

This is a board to vent those crazy, asinine, WTF things our parents/loved ones/strangers feel they have a right to say to you concerning your child. Since I created it, I'll go first...

My mother does not like that LO goes to daycare. 

Mom: Did you leave your son yet? 
Me: yes, I dropped him off already and I'll pick him up again in a few hours. He is fine. 
Mom: of course he's fine. He's too young to know what's really going on yet. 

/facepalm and try not to break the phone

mnkenned

MIL: do you use a diaper cream?
me: nah, she hasn't had any issues and cloth is supposed to cause less rash

next change:
MIL: you should use a diaper cream
me: nah, I don't want to use anything she doesn't need

(in meantime, hassles DH about diaper cream, who basically repeats above)

next day:
MIL: I got you guys some diaper cream! (Comes in with THREE different kinds)

I still don't use it just to spite her. She comes next week to stay with us for two weeks, God help me.

JYesi0812

MIL: Are you giving the baby beans yet ? 
Me: No we wont give the baby anything besides breast milk until atleast 5 months .
MIL: Well here in our country we give baby beans when the're 2 months so they get used to eating everything .
Me:  (Inside voice: Well thank God we're not in your country ) yeah ill think about it . 

tennisbabymama

This is to go along with the guilt trip she always sends me on for ONLY coming over for dinner once a week (which is a lot to me!!) when my sister in law and her kids come over daily. Sorry we have our own life... 

MIL is holding LO and she grows fussy. 

MIL: She doesn't know me. 
Me: No she's just tired.
MIL: Tommy and Suzy (niece and nephew *names changed*) know me. She looks at me like a stranger. 

Repeated this at least three times the rest of the evening. 

LO is 3 months old. she looks at everyone but mom and dad like they're strangers. good grief. 

FTM53

Here's another one that blew my mind. 

Mom: I know you didn't want to do the 8 hour round trip for my birthday (early October, LO just turned 3 months), but would you be able to do at 48 hour round trip for Christmas? 

babycakesday

I feel like I may have enough of these to keep y'all entertained forever. MIL has no sense of how to act around humans. 

She has never been quiet about the fact that she thinks it's stupid to give LO a pacifier. I've reminded her that she was able to raise her kids her way and we plan on raising our kids our way. 

MIL: Oh good, she's learning to suck on her hands. 
DH: Yes, she's been obsessed with it for a few days. 
MIL: That's good. Now you can throw away all her pacifiers. She doesn't need those things. 


Not your choice lady! 

FTM53

@babycakesday OMG! My mother is the opposite! She thinks we should force a pacifier despite the fact that he HATES them. 

Me (sending adorable picture): Look! He's starting to suck his thumb! He's not very good at it yet, he keeps poking himself in the eyes!
Mom: Do you WANT him to be good at it? 

*edited because post got eaten 

HoneyBear40

I love my mom but every time she sees LO she mentions where she "gets" things from...except its totally not the case!
"You're snoring little one, you get that from your Grampa."
"You like to eat don't you? You get that from your Gramma."
"That set of lungs comes fro your Grampa."
No...actually...she doesn't "get" these traits from either of you. Her parents? Probably. Her grandparents? Probably not.

Jodi1980

When I was learning how to breastfeed from the lactation consultant in the hospital:
LC: Place the baby on like so to latch on the breast...
MIL: He won't be able to breathe
LC: No, he can breathe fine!
MIL: Really?
(me between the both of them quiet but fuming inside!)
No, women have just been BFing for thousands of years and my child will be the first to suffocate!

DachshundMomma

My MIL is quite persistent. She frequently asks me to come visit for a weekend while my husband is away. 10+ hours round trip with an infant and a dog by myself? No thanks. She tries to sweeten the pot by saying she'll but things for DS. Still, no thanks. Heaven forbid you drive up here. That wouldn't be easier or anything

Conversations with my mom:
Me: DS is loves xyz 
Mom: you hated xyz

Because of course we have to like the same exact things.

LDSJM123

{Backstory, I'm half black and my husband is white.} 

I text a super cute picture of M to my mom. 

Her response: 

"Oh thank god, her color came in! I was starting to wonder."   

You know, because heaven forbid M be fair skinned. Side note, my mom is white. Insert headscratch eye roll. 

babycakesday

@DachshundMomma My in-laws are the same way. They leave an hour away but always want us to make the trip. She'll tell us we're selfish for not bringing her to see them. Meanwhile mu mother who lives half the country away has flown to see us four times in the last three months. 

jennyleigh16

FTM53 said:

This is a board to vent those crazy, asinine, WTF things our parents/loved ones/strangers feel they have a right to say to you concerning your child. Since I created it, I'll go first...

My mother does not like that LO goes to daycare. 

Mom: Did you leave your son yet? 
Me: yes, I dropped him off already and I'll pick him up again in a few hours. He is fine. 
Mom: of course he's fine. He's too young to know what's really going on yet. 

/facepalm and try not to break the phone

Not said to me, but when my SIL's son was born and she put him in daycare (in the school where she teaches, no less)  our MIL told her "oh I just loved my kids too much to put them in daycare" as though SIL doesn't love her son?! She really has an unhealthy attachment to her grown sons now btw.  

adough27

My mom did not breast feed and thinks that C needs cereal to feel full.

Mom: You really should start giving C some cereal.
Me: No mom, the pediatrician said breast milk until 5/6 months is plenty.
Mom: I gave you cereal to fill you up in the morning, and they still sell it.
Me: I know mom, but we are just going to do BM until 5/6 months.
Mom: Okay, well you turned out okay. Anyways you are going to stop BFing then right?
Me: No mom, we are trying to BF for a year.
Mom: Shes gonna have teeth and be a large baby, you can't BF that long, that's weird.

*Face palm, trying not to scream!

DachshundMomma

babycakesday said:

@DachshundMomma My in-laws are the same way. They leave an hour away but always want us to make the trip. She'll tell us we're selfish for not bringing her to see them. Meanwhile mu mother who lives half the country away has flown to see us four times in the last three months. 

This is exactly like us. Since DS was born my parents drove out here, my sisters flew out, aND my mom was here for the first 2 weeks and she will be here in two weeks. His parents have seen DS for a total of 2 hrs... It is very frustrating and I know it really bothers my husband. 

Jodi1980

Sunday was LO baptism and we had a small reception at my n laws house. People were asking DH and I questions about LO and MIL felt inclined to answer for us or repeat the answer. WTF?

john5111

Yeah my mom says to put rice cereal in his bottles too then he'll sleep longer.... pretty sure w my first son did not help sleeping when we started solids also she says bottles and formula are soo much easier yet she never breast fed! At least she's my mom so I just tell her to shut it!   Mil on skype this past weekend oh that sounds like a tired cry... um like ud know good grief also hate how they ask oh he's sleeping through the night oh really no u boys did by eight weeks old but that was w formula bm goes right through them 

mamafox14

MIL sees we took down the crib and replaced it with a floor bed. 

MIL: where's his bed?

Me: there on the floor. 

MIL: the bed is too big 

Me: no it isn't. also, he only sleeps in his room for naps since we are bedsharing at night.

MIL: oh so when you get him to sleep alone then you'll bring back the crib?

Me: no. also we bedshare at night by choice, not because we have to. but no, we won't be using the crib.

MIL: yes you will 


What?

TiffRox81

Omg I am SO THANKFUL to read that these and know that I'm not alone!!!

Seems like breastfeeding is like a foreign concept to all of our moms/MILs!!! Sure is for mine. She's like so bewildered by it and asks the strangest questions all the time!! Also was horrified the first time I was with her in public and L got hungry and I sat down with my cover and fed her. I used a cover even!!! She insinuated that "people" don't like that and my friend Kate used to go to the car when she had to feed Henry. We'll grow the F up. This is 2016! I couldn't care less.

I was a formula fed baby. I don't even think she attempted it!! She also believes that whole rice cereal makes them full statement....can't wait to cross that bridge with her very soon!

Oh and although she doesn't beat me up about it she's still very confused on why babies belong on their back. Because again, when I was a baby I was on my stomach!! 

KASG

Mom: every time she "ah" (meaning makes any noise) give her a bottle.
Me: um...no.

Mom: you can give her a little rice cereal in her bottle.
Me: Mom, she's not even 2 months old yet!

My aunt: I haven't seen you give this baby any water since I've been here! ... She would handle it (teething) so much better if you gave her water.

FTM53

Reading some of these makes me SO thankful that my mom took a "grandparent class" at the hospital along with infant CPR (for when she babysits). They at least taught her about back sleeping and feeding and the changes in thinking since she had me. 

Heathereaddy

My mom likes to make herself feel superior by acting like she's the mother of all mothers and I know nothing.

Mom: when it starts to get cold you'll have to make sure the baby has on warm clothes and socks etc.

me: yeah mom I got it. Why wouldn't I know to do that? We live in Nebraska. *insert sass*

Mom: well, for someone who has never had a child you sure do know a lot *insert sarcasm*

me: yeah, it's called common sense. *rolls eyes*

arhodes6

Me: Q has been fussy and not sleeping well the last few weeks. We are going through a developmental leap, he is teething and I think this is the beginning of the 4 month sleep regression. 

Mom: you just need to exude peace over him and he will stop fussing 

Me: what the what? 

Mom: yeah whenever I hold him he stops fussing because I exude peace. It has happened multiple times when you were there and couldn't get him to stop fussing, I could! It's because I'm so peaceful 

Me: *pretends the phone cut out* 

Mom: hello? You there? 

TiffRox81

Omg @Heathereaddy Those are lines right from my mothers mouth!! She calls me a know it all, all the time...AND is getting on me about warm clothes and socks. Seriously?!? Yes...it's called common sense. 

mamafox14

@arhodes6

FTM53

@arhodes6 I am so going to start telling DH to "exude peace"  That should be a meme

TiffRox81

@FTM53 Ahahaha!!!

FTM53

MollyH1987

This is my new favorite thread! 

KASG

Lol well I need all the peace exuded over here

arhodes6

Hahahaha omg I am laughing so hard at all of your responses to the exude peace comment. I died a little on the inside and my DH wants DS to have a major freak out in my moms arms just to prove her wrong. But you all validate my feelings! Thank you all.

Up next: 

Me: Q has had the hiccups for like 20 minutes!

Mom: Give him water.

Me: ummm you can't give babies water this young.

Mom: I gave you water when you were still in the hospital 

Me: how am I alive? 

Mom: Jesus. That's how. 

FTM53

Water must have been our parents generations' coconut oil. They gave it for everything. 

Me: A has such bad gas. It keeps him up all night! 
Mom: give him some warm water
Me: they say not to give water. It can cause seizures. 
Mom: So you'll shoot him with poison (vaccines), but you won't give him water?! 

*This is actually two conversations rolled into one for fluidity*

KASG

Water is still my mom's solution to everything. Headache? Drink some water. Tired? Drink some water? Gotta go to work? Drink some water!

shaylalr

Anyone else feel like people used to feed their babies EVERY single time they cried? I have had this conversation so many times with multiple older women. I don't understand.  My mom kept saying I was always starving and she gave me rice pablum at 2 months. Now I know she just took every single cry as hunger. After watching us for awhile now, she did say that my approach made more sense than just nursing 24/7. 

"She's hungry. She's fussing. That's a hunger cry "

"No, she's not hungry. I fed her an hour ago. She's just getting tired. She wants to go to bed."

"Babies don't always work on YOUR schedule, you know. You need to feed her."

I'm not starving my child. I know her hunger cues and her tired cues. She is gaining weight and is happy. 

bethlinn

@shaylalr , agreed. I use Babywise and have a VERY hard time getting my MIL and mom to understand the concept. They constantly want to feed.. esp my MIL

holly142

@shaylalr- yes! I was talking to my mom on the phone and DD1 started crying. My mom asked if I needed to go feed her. I said no, but I do need to get off the phone because she's getting tired. My mom said, "maybe you were such a chunky baby since I fed you whenever you cried."  Lol. Yup! That probably did it! 

DD2 started getting fussy at bible study, so started to put on my Boba to get her to sleep. Older lady next to me, isn't she getting hungry?  Nope, I fed her 45 minutes ago. 

TiffRox81

Haha!! My husband is the one in our house that thinks she's always hungry.

setosh

This thread gives me life. My MIL always wants to shove a bottle in his face. Even when I tell her that I just fed him. Sometimes babies get fussy. SHOCKER. 

DachshundMomma

I told myself frequently throughout the night that  I needed to exude peace as DS was screaming and fussing and bashing his head into my face. I don't think it was working lol.

Me: DS has been fussy and fighting sleep (he's teething)
Mom: you just let him cry it out
Me: yeeeeeah...(absolutely not. Not a fan of hours of screeching)
Mom: he's never going to learn if you dont. That's what I told your sister to do with ☆☆☆. 

And for a long time she was a brat who didn't respect or listen to her mom. No thanks. My family is the king of giving me parenting advice bc I'm doing it wrong in their eyes.

mnkenned

Guys, MIL hasn't even been here a full 24 hours and she's already:
1. Suggested the baby sleep downstairs with her 
2. Told me I should start supplementing formula (I thankfully have no supply issues yet and plan to ebf at least 6 months, which I've told her multiple times)

 This, on top of DH who is beside himself this AM because he was up with her for a few hours last night since I work this AM is making me particularly stabby.

MamaBish

Preface: This is an old one from when baby was still in the NICU. We were discussing how my maternity leave would be spent at the hospital and I would have to go back to work right after baby came home. Also (TW) reminder that we lost a baby last year, so we are more than a little worried.

DH: I just don't know how we will ever be able to send her to daycare, that's going to be so hard.
My stepmother: Well you have to cut the cord some time! We all had to do it!


wtf lady?? Our kid is in a plastic box with a million tubes/wires and you are telling us to cut the cord already??