Ask a STM+, Week of 10/10 — The Bump
January 2017 Moms

Ask a STM+, Week of 10/10

Happy Monday! What questions are on your mind this week?

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Re: Ask a STM+, Week of 10/10

  • We meet with the pediatrician on Monday. The office told us to prepare our questions. ... I've got nothing though. Anything in particular you ladies asked or looked for with potential pediatricians?

    As always, thank you for the best advice!
  • @christac1010 Ask about their after hours/weekend schedule. Kids tend to get sick at the most inopportune times!

    We also asked about their vaccine schedule. We were very pro vaccine but didn't know much about how many/how fast or if there was an option to spread them out. In the end, we trusted the schedule they followed. 

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    christac1010karaelaine1991
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  • colleenkevincolleenkevin
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    edited October 2016
    @christac1010 if you have any parenting musts I would bring them up.  I asked a lot of questions to gauge breastfeeding support level - our pediatrician always refers breastfeeding issues to a lactation consultant and has 3 kids who were all nursed until just shy of 2yo.  I wanted to do baby-led weaning and skip rice cereal so I made sure he wasn't going to give me grief about that.  I wanted to know if they required that their patients get vaccinations (I'd prefer to lower the risk of my infant catching measles in the sick waiting area).  

    Bonus - our office has a sick room and a well room for waiting to try to limit exposure of well kids to germs.

    At the end of the first meeting it was a combo of him supporting my parenting plans for feeding, health, and wellness and a good gut feeling.

    Eta - they also have a 24 hour nurse line at my ped, which has been a great resource for us a few times now

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    LastMangochristac1010karaelaine1991nolemama24
  • @christac1010 ; some of the things we asked were their stance on treating intentionally unvaccinated kids (I didn't want my infant sitting in the waiting room next to a 5 year old with pertussis), their afterhours and weekend schedule as mentioned, their policies regarding same-day appointments (when your kid is sick and you NEED to be seen ASAP), and general doctors office stuff like what insurance they take and so forth.  If you are having a boy I would also ask about circumcision, whether they have privileges at the hospital where you will be delivering, etc.

    Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
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    christac1010LastMangoThePax89karaelaine1991
  • @christac1010 I second the breastfeeding questions if that is your plan. Our pediatrician is very BF friendly and encourages it. I exclusively pumped and at one point we had to see a different doctor there (one of the many times we had to go in on the weekend) and because she saw a bottle she assumed formula feeding. I wasn't thrilled about that but again, it wasn't our normal doctor. Also, our pediatrician was all about skipping the rice cereal and not pushing food until 6 months and at that point introducing slowly but an advocate for baby led weaning and skipping the baby food. If you google questions for pediatricians you may get a list. I know I did some internet searching and ended up with a long list of potential questions that I hadn't even thought about. Some I didn't care about so I wouldn't ask but some I just had never thought about.

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    christac1010karaelaine1991
  • Any opinions on a moses basket versus a pack and play? It would be used specifically for travel by car and plane.

    Are moses baskets actually comfortable for babies? 
  • @SunsetSky No experience with a moses basket but we used our PnP a lot for travelling.  DS still uses it occasionally out of the house (he used it this weekend when he came into work with me and he's a little over 2).  We got the one that had a changing table and bassinet attachment and I think they were kind of a waste.  I never felt like they were sturdy enough.  If I were to buy another one now, I would just go with the basic model.
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  • On pediatricians- how important is it to you that they come to the hospital when baby's born? We're deciding between 2: 

    option 1- does hospital visits, great location, 1/2 of the doctors are awesome and the other 1/2 are awful (according to friends/ mom group), 24 hour nurses line, admitting privileges at my hospital

    option 2- no hospital visit, a little further away (by like 5-10 minutes), no waiting room so my preemies won't be around sick kids, less personal- we'll rotate thru all docs but I hear they're all at least acceptable, you can email the actual doctors until 10pm every day, top of the line everything- very fancy office/equipment, admitting privileges at my hospital

    I like option 2 but the no hospital visit is weirding me out because I thought that was just super important? And while the drive is not much more I just rarely go in that direction, the other office is soooo convenient... and I'm frozen in indecision because this feels huge, like I'm deciding my babies' health for the rest of their lives! 

  • @TinaBelcher The pedi we chose for DD does not come to our hospital at birth. This was really no big deal for us at all. The hospital has a pediatrician (or several) on staff that checks out all newborns daily while you are there. Then you typically have your first pedi appointment at 4 days old with the pedi you chose. 

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    karaelaine1991TinaBelcher
  • @TinaBelcher The pediatrician saw DS once a day for about 10 minutes max at the hospital each day he was there but we saw our pediatrician weekly for about the first 2 months (due to some issues) and then at least once a month (but usually more than that) for the first 15 months. I would much rather have an office and/or pediatrician I like and am comfortable with for the post hospital time than the 20 minutes they spend with him in the hospital.

    Our office has a pediatrician on call at the hospital for new babies so it's luck of the draw on whether or not our actual pediatrician is seeing baby there. I will add, I like that our pediatrician knows DS and his history when we go in. Yes, occasionally we are unable to get in with her same day when needed and see another doctor in the office but the consistency of the same doctor the majority of the time was big for me. DS had recurring/chronic ear infections that landed us in the doctors office a lot from 6-10 months. Most of the time we were able to see our pediatrician and if not, saw which ever one was available. It helped when it came time for tubes and for the recurring issues. I think at this point we've had enough issues that she actually has a note on his file to contact her to see if she can squeeze us in when we call.

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  • @christac1010 ask about opinions on gentle parenting. Will they be pressuring you to do cry it out, sleep training, etc. 

    @TinaBelcher both options sound terrible! There isn't anything better? I switched pedis recently, because I only liked half of the doctors in a practice. You can't always control who you see, so it's best to love one or two, and think the others are at least okay. I appreciated the doctors coming to the hospital. It allows you to meet one or two (my pedis saw my daughter when she was 1 day old, and 2 days old for a discharge.) 
    christac1010
  • We meet with the pediatrician on Monday. The office told us to prepare our questions. ... I've got nothing though. Anything in particular you ladies asked or looked for with potential pediatricians?

    As always, thank you for the best advice!
    I didn't see this mentioned in the replies referring to nursing-friendly pediatricians, but it's really helpful if your pediatrician has an LC on staff! It's one less specialist you need to track down if you need it, and, I think especially for first time moms or moms who have never nursed before, it's really important to have that resource available to you if you plan to try to breastfeed.  I also agree on asking about gentle parenting stances if that's important to you; I didn't think to ask and then when my daughter had a sleep regression at 6 months, CIO was the first thing her doctor recommended.  We tried it even though I wasn't completely on board and for us it was a disaster.  For some people, it works really well, but there are SO many other, gentle techniques out there and it's always bothered me that the pediatrician didn't recommend one of those first... oh well, these are things you figure out as you go :) but yeah, if you think that you'd like to try gentler techniques for stuff like that, it's something you might want to ask about! 
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    christac1010
  • SunsetSky said:
    Any opinions on a moses basket versus a pack and play? It would be used specifically for travel by car and plane.

    Are moses baskets actually comfortable for babies? 
    I also have no experience with Moses baskets, but for us the PnP has been SO important.  I use ours on a daily basis so DD can play quietly in one spot while I clean.  Some kids don't adapt well to it, but if yours does you can seriously benefit so much from them.  Also, since she's used to being in our every day, I think it makes her more comfortable when she sleeps in it while we're traveling because it's something familiar from home in an all new environment, which is very reassuring for little ones. 
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  • edited October 2016
    On pediatricians- how important is it to you that they come to the hospital when baby's born? We're deciding between 2: 

    option 1- does hospital visits, great location, 1/2 of the doctors are awesome and the other 1/2 are awful (according to friends/ mom group), 24 hour nurses line, admitting privileges at my hospital

    option 2- no hospital visit, a little further away (by like 5-10 minutes), no waiting room so my preemies won't be around sick kids, less personal- we'll rotate thru all docs but I hear they're all at least acceptable, you can email the actual doctors until 10pm every day, top of the line everything- very fancy office/equipment, admitting privileges at my hospital

    I like option 2 but the no hospital visit is weirding me out because I thought that was just super important? And while the drive is not much more I just rarely go in that direction, the other office is soooo convenient... and I'm frozen in indecision because this feels huge, like I'm deciding my babies' health for the rest of their lives! 

    Neither the pediatrician that we used for DD's first year nor the family practice that we go to now that we've moved came/will come to our hospital.  It wasn't a big deal; the only difference that it made was that I had to request to have the medical info transfered from the hospital to the pediatrician, which is just more paperwork to follow up on after the birth.  I'll be honest, that was kind of annoying because I vaguely remember that the hospital wasn't very timely about getting it to our pediatrician and the hospital pediatrician kind of gave me an attitude when I told him that his practice wasn't the one we'd be using (he had just assumed it would be and was annoyed when I asked him about sending over the info)... but, I think that all of that was just issues with our personal experience and not necessarily something you'd have problems with at other hospitals.  So as long as you don't mind potentially having to deal with stuff like that happening, I'd just go with option 2!
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  • In regards to the CIO concept, our pediatrician (and some of the specialists we see) never actually used the term CIO but would say we needed to lay DS in his crib and let him figure it out (essentially CIO). Nothing about CIO has ever felt right to me, there are some nights we got so burnt out trying to get him to sleep that he did lay in his crib for a while crying but more to give us a break. We love all of our doctors so when ever this comes up, we just gloss over his sleeping, let them tell us their thoughts and move on and do what we are comfortable with. If we were really concerned about his sleep habits we'd bring it up and have a conversation but nothing about it seemed out of the norm for us knowing that every baby is different. Sleep habits in general are things we find ourselves not talking about too much with people because there are so many different opinions on it. My MIL thinks I held DS too much as a baby and that's why he's not a good sleeper.

    Everyone forgets that DS was sleeping through the night starting at 3 months until about 6 months and then his ear problems started. He is back to sleeping well now that he is in his own queen size bed. It was just a rough 18 months :)

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    karaelaine1991LastMango
  • Carly79 said:

    In regards to the CIO concept, our pediatrician (and some of the specialists we see) never actually used the term CIO but would say we needed to lay DS in his crib and let him figure it out (essentially CIO). Nothing about CIO has ever felt right to me, there are some nights we got so burnt out trying to get him to sleep that he did lay in his crib for a while crying but more to give us a break. We love all of our doctors so when ever this comes up, we just gloss over his sleeping, let them tell us their thoughts and move on and do what we are comfortable with. If we were really concerned about his sleep habits we'd bring it up and have a conversation but nothing about it seemed out of the norm for us knowing that every baby is different. Sleep habits in general are things we find ourselves not talking about too much with people because there are so many different opinions on it. My MIL thinks I held DS too much as a baby and that's why he's not a good sleeper.

    Everyone forgets that DS was sleeping through the night starting at 3 months until about 6 months and then his ear problems started. He is back to sleeping well now that he is in his own queen size bed. It was just a rough 18 months :)

    This is pretty much exactly what happened with us! She was a great sleeper until 6 months, then she got sick around 5 months and had been taking really short naps during the month leading up to the 6 month check up (like 20 minutes short). The pediatrician asked how long her naps were and I told her, thinking it was just a phase, and she acted like it was the end of the world and had us do CIO. After 3 days we found an alternate method and things worked themselves out until she had ear infections at 9 months and then I got back into the habit of rocking her to sleep and we were back to square 1. We tried many different sleep training methods and finally, a month ago, found one that works for us (DD is 16 months now). I really firmly believe that in pretty much anything regarding parenting, there are different things that work for different people.  For some, CIO is a godsend! It wasn't for us. I think it's important to either be so confident about doing what works for your family that you are ok with people telling you to do something different (sometimes pretty forcefully), or find yourself a group of specialists who are aligned with /more respectful of your way of thinking.
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    LastMangoCarly79
  • We attempted CIO, but DD is tiny (hasn't been over the 3rd percentile for weight once) and she would cry so hard she would make herself sick. We tried it two nights, and it just didn't work and she was puking and it stressed me out. I had so many people tell me that I didn't try hard enough or I wasn't being consistent; I got sick of hearing it. 

    I would highly recommend to anyone using the Sleep Lady Shuffle method. It's gentle, consistent and really works well. It does take a little time and patience, but it was a Godsend for us. I'm happy to tell anyone the plan we used if they are interested. 

    We used it at 12 months and again for the 2-year sleep regression, but she says you can start it as early as 4 months. 
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    karaelaine1991
  • @TinaBelcher I'm a FTM, but I worked at a birth center with two 24 hour on call pedis. They checked the babies at birth and then parents would take their babies to their chosen pedi. They're all great and sometimes accepted new patients, but a lot of it just had to do with which pedis had hospital priveleges. For well babies this was no big deal since it was just a wellness assessment the pedis would do.

    As far as getting the hospital documentation to the chosen pedi, electronic medical records are super easy to get printed and many can be linked to outside facilities. Have admitting or a medical records staff member give you some release of information forms when they come to pick up the birth cert forms so you can get the records asap.
  • @TinaBelcher we met 2 pediatricians last week, neither of whom have privileges at the hospital where I will be delivering. This wasn't a priority for me, and it turns out that the hospital normally just has neonatologists on call who will also examine the baby prior to discharge. I also have to decide if it's worth it to go further to see the pediatrician I preferred overall. He's about 20 minutes away, vs a practice that's literally 5 minutes from our house. As of now my plan is to go further because I was more comfortable with that office, and I felt that doctor's approach was more closely aligned to my expectations. I figure if the distance/location ends up becoming a big pain we can look for someone closer and just switch at that point. 

    @christac1010 below are the main points I tried to cover off at our interviews. Some were outlined by the doctors or their information packets off the bat, and anything else I just asked directly. 

    General office info - hours, sick/well waiting rooms, how many doctors in the practice, same day access for sick appointments, i.e., are there walkin hours or do you have to call in the morning 

    After hours accessibility, both for urgent and non-urgent questions

    How supportive are they of breastfeeding? (1 pedi I met is also a certified LC; the other has a LC on staff)

    Do they recommend scheduling all routine visits with 1 pediatrician or rotating through the practice?

    Do they require an office visit for all issues, or will they handle some things via phone if appropriate?

    Philosophy on feeding / approach to dealing with allergies and food sensitivities. I have a history of food sensitivities and a couple of my siblings have fairly severe allergies, so this is particularly important to me.

    In the end, 1 of the main reasons I am choosing the doctor further from us is that he seemed very knowledgeable about food/diet concerns, and is supportive of baby lead weaning and allowing a range of foods. The other doctor gave me a vague answer that started with "what we do here is," and it just felt more like a one size fits all approach. I know I can figure some of this out on my own, but I'd prefer to be on the same page with the pediatrician as much as possible going in. 
    christac1010azwildcat62
  • Regarding sleep advice from pediatricians - if your pediatrician can't give you medical reasons why your child's development or health is being directly impacted by his/her sleep routines, then what they're giving you when they recommend CIO is parenting advice.   There's no reason to feel compelled to take parenting advice from anyone, even if they have an MD after their name.  

    My ped stopped trying to recommend Ferber when I gently said I wasn't interested unless he had a medical reason for trying to change our sleep routines - she was growing well, meeting or exceeding milestones, not falling ill, and alert/active for age appropriate time frames during the day...it was not medically necessary advice.

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  • I think all the pedi questions have been answered but I wanna add (@tinabelcher it was your comment that made me think of it initially) that if you pick one and decide you don't like them/their office/nurses/their stance on a specific issue you can switch doctors. I have too many friends who take their kids to doctors they don't especially care for just cause it's who they picked first. 

    Oh! And we saw the on call pedi in the hospital, and took her to see our pedi for her follow up 3 days later. It was no big deal and I think if (knock on wood) she got sick and went to the hospital we'd see an on call pediatrician then too because our office isn't the one with our hospital.

    @wholesome I don't necessarily ask my pedi about parenting things but he's the father of 6 and grandfather of about a million so I do talk to him about parenting stuff, but the same way I'd talk to anybody else. I definitely don't take his word as gospel truth on things like bedtime routines
    karaelaine1991LastMango
  • Seconding katesmama that choosing a pediatrician isn't a forever decision.  My son went through three before he was 18 months old - the first retired, the second stopped taking our insurance, and the third was the best of all, and we stayed with her until we left Phoenix.  You can always switch if you don't like someone.

    Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
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  • @Wholesome I agree. I take the peds medical advice seriously but I take their parenting advice with a grain of salt. I respect their opinions but I don't necessarily follow them. 
    awknycThePax89
  • Hello!  My insurance covers the Medela PISA starter set.  It's a $95 upgrade to the tote or backpack.  Is this worth it??  Looks like the major differences are the bag, removable cooler bag, contoured ice pack, four (instead of 2) breastmilk bottles, lids, battery pack and A/C adaptor.  Seems kind of like an expensive upgrade.  I'm willing to pay it ... but only if I'll actually use what's in the upgrade.  Thoughts??
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  • kelseyh62 said:
    Hello!  My insurance covers the Medela PISA starter set.  It's a $95 upgrade to the tote or backpack.  Is this worth it??  Looks like the major differences are the bag, removable cooler bag, contoured ice pack, four (instead of 2) breastmilk bottles, lids, battery pack and A/C adaptor.  Seems kind of like an expensive upgrade.  I'm willing to pay it ... but only if I'll actually use what's in the upgrade.  Thoughts??
    I liked having the tote so everything was all nicely together but you could always use another bag.  Another big plus is the battery pack..  It should come with the A/C Adapter or you have no way to power it.  I liked having the battery pack because I could pump literally anywhere with it.  I never used my cooler bag or ice pack as we had a fridge at work I always kepts the pumped milk in.  I also bought a lot of extra bottles/lids because it was nice to be able to just throw them in the fridge if I wasn't going to freeze it and I still had extra bottles for pumping the next day. 
    All this to say--its up to you.  If you think you will use it all and its worth the $95 to you, go for it.  If you think you will only use half the stuff and you can get it cheaper, go that route and save some dollars.

    You can get 6 bottles for around $11 on Amazon and the battery pack is like $25.
    BFP #1 1/19/09 EDD: 9/29/09 Caiden arrived 9/20/09
    BFP #2 4/1/10 EDD: 12/7/10 Ethan surprised us on 11/19/10
    BFP # 3 EDD :10/24/12 Rylan was born 10/17/12
    BFP #4 4/13/14 EDD:12/22/14  Nolan made his entrance on 12/15/2014
    BFP#5 5/22/17 EDD:1/27/17  It's a GIRL!!!!



    azwildcat62
  • kelseyh62 said:
    Hello!  My insurance covers the Medela PISA starter set.  It's a $95 upgrade to the tote or backpack.  Is this worth it??  Looks like the major differences are the bag, removable cooler bag, contoured ice pack, four (instead of 2) breastmilk bottles, lids, battery pack and A/C adaptor.  Seems kind of like an expensive upgrade.  I'm willing to pay it ... but only if I'll actually use what's in the upgrade.  Thoughts??
    Honestly, for me, it was 100% worth it. I don't know how much it'd be to buy it separately on amazon, but I loved having the extras and used them frequently.
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  • kelseyh62 said:
    Hello!  My insurance covers the Medela PISA starter set.  It's a $95 upgrade to the tote or backpack.  Is this worth it??  Looks like the major differences are the bag, removable cooler bag, contoured ice pack, four (instead of 2) breastmilk bottles, lids, battery pack and A/C adaptor.  Seems kind of like an expensive upgrade.  I'm willing to pay it ... but only if I'll actually use what's in the upgrade.  Thoughts??
    If you anticipate having to take your pump to work or having to travel at all while you're pumping, 100% worth it.  I had it last time and loved it.  Unfortunately it got ruined in a flood in our basement this summer right after we moved in, and since I'm not going to be working part time at all this time I am just going to go with the regular pump this time.  But yeah, if you're ever going to be pumping somewhere other than at home, it's so worth it! Also, $95 sounds like a big jump, but if you think about how much it would cost you to get all of that stuff separately, it's a really good deal IMO.
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  • @kelseyh62 if you are pumping outside of your house, especially at work or going to be away from baby for a couple pumps I think it's worth it. However, check Babies R Us and Amazon to see what they charge for the pieces you need. Also, if you have any local BST groups you are a part of, often times you can find these things on there for less.

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  • @SunsetSky  someone let us borrow their Moses basket with DS over 4 years ago. I never used it. Like, ev-er. Travel we used PnP, you get a lot more use out of it, and IMHO, it's a lot easier to transport than a giant, un-bendable basket.

    Now, it's been in my way for years and I want her to take the damn thing back. I can't just toss it, cause she used it with her kids, but if she doesn't arrange to get it soon, it may just disappear. I do not even plan on trying to use it this time around. 
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    MMC January 2016
  • kelseyh62 said:
    Hello!  My insurance covers the Medela PISA starter set.  It's a $95 upgrade to the tote or backpack.  Is this worth it??  Looks like the major differences are the bag, removable cooler bag, contoured ice pack, four (instead of 2) breastmilk bottles, lids, battery pack and A/C adaptor.  Seems kind of like an expensive upgrade.  I'm willing to pay it ... but only if I'll actually use what's in the upgrade.  Thoughts??
    Definitely worth it. I used every bit of it on a daily basis for almost a year while pumping at work (and everywhere else). 

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  • Very helpful info. You ladies are the best! Thanks! 
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  • @canavara, I love the link! Especially the "Children are a casserole, not a soufflé," as in, it takes a lot to mess them up. I'm going to live by that expression. :D

    Me: 30 DH: 35 Married: 1/10/15

    1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!

    2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18

    Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.


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  • Any STM+ moms not have GD their first pregnancy and then have it in a subsequent pregnancy? I have my test tomorrow and keep thinking that I'm automatically going to be fine since I didn't have it with DD. I probably shouldn't think that way. 

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  • @LastMango I am a FTM but I am nervous about my GD test. I have my one hour in two weeks when I go in for my 28 week check. I feel like I will be fine but I don't know? They also didn't give me any tips or rules to follow so I don't know if I just show up or what, haha! My boss said I should fast, which is OK with me because my appointment is early in the morning. 
    Pregnancy TickerMe: 25, MH: 30
    Diagnosed with Hashimoto's June 2017
    DD: born 1/1/17
    TTC #2: Jan 2019

  • @nolemama24 you can probably just call your Drs office and check if they want you to fast or not. My GD test is scheduled for 10am and they told me to go ahead and eat breakfast, just make sure it's something with protein and nothing sugary that could throw off the results. 

    I took the test as 16 weeks as well because apparently I make big babies and they wanted to rule out GD early if I had it and same thing, just a light breakfast. 

    I didn't have it with my first and I feel like for some reason I'll have it with this one, despite passing the one at 16 weeks. Baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead and I haven't gained a lot so I'm worried it's because of GD. We shall see though. Good luck with yours!

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  • @LastMango you should absolutely be positive about it. That has to be a good sign, right? I passed with my daughter. And just passed again with this daughter too. I was so nervous that I'd fail this time. 
    LastMango
  • Is a BH contraction the kind of thing you would know when it happens? I have no idea if what I'm experiencing is a BH, round ligament pain or just the stretching/discomfort that comes with third tri. 
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