FFFC*!!! 10/7

musicinmysoul17

*not guaranteed to be flame free*

Xstatic3333

I forgot my work computer at home, so I emailed my boss and told her I was going to work from home today to focus on grant writing (which is allowed). 

srscott3

I scheduled maintenance for today, but when the guy called saying he could come fix the ice maker, I decided that I just wanted to eat my ice cream for breakfast and stay in pajamas. So I rescheduled it.

peachesnbean

Xstatic3333 said:

I forgot my work computer at home, so I emailed my boss and told her I was going to work from home today to focus on grant writing (which is allowed). 

But are you GOING TO?

BumpasaurusRex

Last night, DH was running late on his way home from work and of course, the doorbell rang and it was a salesperson for home windows/remodeling.  DS wanted to play in the backyard so I was trying to politely tell the guy that it wasn't a good time, my husband wasn't home, could he come back later?  

He kept saying, "oh it won't take long, I just need to take your information, blah blah blah."  I was too polite to turn him away so I stood there while he filled out paperwork.  

Like the sun shining from the Heavens above, DH pulled into the driveway and the salesman made his way over to him.  I took DS and was like, 

birdiejo

My moms here visiting so I'll go a little deep with this one. My FFFC :  I cannot stand my own mom and it really bothers me that I dislike her so much. I worry so much about my own relationship with my daughter because of this. 

BumpasaurusRex

homemake said:

My moms here visiting so I'll go a little deep with this one. My FFFC :  I cannot stand my own mom and it really bothers me that I dislike her so much. I worry so much about my own relationship with my daughter because of this. 

I'm sorry.  Have you guys always had a bad relationship?

I guess the silver lining is that you can use your experience with her to shape your own relationship with your daughter. 

Xstatic3333

peachesnbean said:

Xstatic3333 said:

I forgot my work computer at home, so I emailed my boss and told her I was going to work from home today to focus on grant writing (which is allowed). 

But are you GOING TO?

Well...a little from Column A, a little from Column B

lap018

@homemake my mom basically did the See ya later gif above to me and my life when I was 5, she signed over my custody papers to my dad in a Wendy's parking lot but said that she would not sign the papers for my brother because she wanted to see him, she also left my graduation early (before I walked across the stage) and also left my wedding before I did. All the things she has done has just made me REFUSE to treat my child the way she has and I will never make him feel the way she has made me feel in any way, shape, form, or fashion. The bad can be used to make you a better parent than your own

birdiejo

@BumpasaurusRex Weirdly, our relationship isn't as bad as you would think for someone who can't stand their mom. I just can't stand her as a person. Most people who come into contact with her feel the same. She's like that rude as hell woman yelling at the lady at the return desk because they won't take back the shirt she bought 6 years ago that she has no receipt for. That's her personality 24/7. Its just hard to be around her.

Seeing as how I'm the opposite of her especially in personality , I have high hopes for my kids liking me more but it still always at the back of my mind.

birdiejo

@lap018 I feel guilty complaining about my mom because I know so many people have it a lot worse or have had terrible experiences with their parents. My mom just has a shitty personality and while I can't stand being around her, it definitely helps reinforce the way I treat my kid. It helps me remember that the things I'm doing are much more positive than the things she did or continues to do now. 

musicinmysoul17

@homemake I know how you feel girl! I've lived with my dad and step-mom since I was 3. My next older sister and I stayed with my dad but my other 3 siblings stayed with my mom in the same area. So my life has always been a complicated family dynamic. My mom wanted to see us still, my step-mom doesn't like my mom, my dad and step-mom fight all the time. So basically my bio mom isn't the greatest for reasons I won't go into, and my step-mom did a lot of things to me and my sister growing up that I'll really be learning how to be a mom from the ground up. I have a long list of things I WON'T do to my kids and the rest we'll just figure out. I want to be nothing like either of my moms. I also had these worries about being married because my dad and step-mom never had a good relationship. But it's so different with H because we have an amazing relationship. It's not perfect, of course, but we love each other and I never saw that from my parents.

Lafreeman21

My confession: On Tuesday night I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep, and Wednesday was a rather important, 12 hr day at work on my project. I had 376 mg of caffeine. #someragrets

BumpasaurusRex

@homemake  You shouldn't feel guilty for feeling that way.  We all have our own issues and they are all valid regardless of the severity.  

I completely understand your explanation of why you don't like her.  I love my mom but she is a very negative person.  She doesn't do anything to improve her life except constantly complain.  It drives me bonkers, especially when she complains about how other people are doing great.  

"Oh, looks like X bought a new car.  Must be nice to afford a new car.  If I didn't have so many bills, I'd be able to get a new car, whatever, good for X I guess."

Just.....stop.  Stop being a victim and go change the things in your life that you don't like.  

Sorry for the derail, I just understand how just their personality alone can be off putting and make you want distance.  

Partyof6?

Not much of a confession, but this is cub scout and brownies camping weekend so I get to take my 7 year old daughter to camp.   We have cabins at least, and she is probably my easiest kid to hang out with for something like this.   But I am really not sure how sleeping on a bunk is going to go, and I have no idea how to pack old clothes when hardly anything fits me anyway.  

Xstatic3333

Lafreeman21 said:

My confession: On Tuesday night I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep, and Wednesday was a rather important, 12 hr day at work on my project. I had 376 mg of caffeine. #someragrets

I can second you on this. I'm pretty sure I've gone over 200 mg a few times in recent weeks. It's hard to be 100% sure since we make our own at home and H and I make it differently. From my research I'm confident that it won't cause any trouble but I still try to stay under that magical arbitrary limit.

Spicyweiner

I feel you guys I'm not wanting to be like/ not liking your moms. 
Mine is like @BumpasaurusRex with the negativity, plus blaming everyone else for the shitty decisions she's made in life. 
For years I would excuse her behavior because her mom took off on her, but when I became a Mom I realized that it was no excuse to treat your kids like shit. 

MommaBean

Lafreeman21 said:

My confession: On Tuesday night I got maybe 4.5 hours of sleep, and Wednesday was a rather important, 12 hr day at work on my project. I had 376 mg of caffeine. #someragrets

Aw, don't worry. I talked to my OB about caffeine bc it's the best thing I've found for my chronic headaches and migraines. She said it's really more of a concern for 1st tri and miscarriage risk and is regarding, like, 7 cups a day. I'm sure one over-limit day didn't have any ill effects (except maybe your shaky hands).

Spicyweiner

I had a poop that was so big it brought back memories of childbirth this morning. 

cantalopes24

I just stopped getting up in the morning to help get the kids ready for school two weeks ago and this past week I haven't even started getting myself ready until my husband has left to take our youngest to school. Usually when we switch around division of labor stuff we have a conversation about it and we shift things around. I have taken on 0 extra stuff to counteract it and didn't even talk about it, just started rolling over and going back to sleep when he got up to shower. He's stopped waking me up in the morning and actually started closing our bedroom door while the kids are getting ready so they don't bother me. I am waiting for him to complain and will continue sleeping in until he does.

varimama

I also don't like/ don't want to be like my mom. She and I have never really gotten along and once I finally told her I wasn't a christian she has decided that in her mind I'm a worthless human being. Which at first really hurt and she'd say awful things to me but now I just feel sorry for her. No I'm not a christian but I do have a moral compass that I live by where I try to be open minded and considerate of others while she spews hate and judgement on everyone who doesn't believe/live exactly like she does. I also do have some major issues with decisions she and my dad made raising us that I plan on making sure I don't do with my children.

I guess my confession is I know she's hurt that we live 8hrs away and do not make the trip to see them often and don't allow them to visit as often as they'd like but I need the space and am not sorry for taking it. I'm also glad that DH has an amazing family and our kids will end up knowing and being around them a lot more than my family. I know this fact also hurts my parents but they have had many chances to change their behavior and haven't so again I'm not sorry.

Lafreeman21

@Xstatic3333 loving the "magical arbitrary limit". I'm going to get a t-shirt. 

I also have mom guilt. She sometimes annoys the bejeezus out of me... but I feel guilty every time because I should somehow love everything about her. Some things that frustrate me are justifiable, like victim/negativeness traits, but other things are really just me being petty.

Like, her habit of repeating the last 4 or 5 words of what you just said as a question. Last weekend example: I said "I don't think Michael's going to get back until Oct 28." "So do you think Michael will be back on the 28th?" and then she really did want a response. 


At that point I generally blurt out "Yes" and then clam up cause I'm impatient now.

MrsP052909

My MIL has been annoying the bajesus out of me this entire pregnancy. She's not even doing anything that bad, I just can't stand her right now. Luckily she lives 12 hours away.

tishb

homemake said:

@BumpasaurusRex Weirdly, our relationship isn't as bad as you would think for someone who can't stand their mom. I just can't stand her as a person. Most people who come into contact with her feel the same. She's like that rude as hell woman yelling at the lady at the return desk because they won't take back the shirt she bought 6 years ago that she has no receipt for. That's her personality 24/7. Its just hard to be around her.

Seeing as how I'm the opposite of her especially in personality , I have high hopes for my kids liking me more but it still always at the back of my mind.

Are we sisters? I have that same mom!

WinchesterGirl

@marriedhamstermom That is really hurtful, and I'm sorry she feels that way! I do not understand people who cannot accept that others have different beliefs than you do personally. The only person I expect to live by my moral and religious beliefs is ME. As long as you have no intention of stopping me from my religious beliefs, I happily extend you the same courtesy. 

foxrosy

I can't stand my mom either because she is a generally crappy person especially to me. She came to visit me in August and **potential TW**

hinted maybe I shouldn't keep this baby because it would make my life harder with two. Thanks Mom, eff you.
 

I'm at my new PCP appointment and fighting the urge to run outta here because I'm about to get my flu shot and I am deathly afraid of needles. Yes ladies, I'm a nurse practitioner who is afraid of getting injections. I will give one in a heartbeat though.

kirstynikole

+1 for the mom relationship. 

It seems to be a trend on my mother's side. Single moms either due to relationship issues, or being widowed. They would find a new beau to fill the void and then neglect the child and focus in their new family. I've had years of heartache with my mom disappointing me, but I've learned a lot from it. I've always been more like my Dad & Stepmom, but never moved in with them because my mom would guilt trip me into staying. When I moved cross country at 20, we finally were able to make strides in our relationship, but it's not perfect. I've accepted who she is and love her because I know she does love me- quirks and all. I can only hope to use what I've learned from her patterns and the patterns of her family to not make the same mistakes. It's a huge topic me and my H discuss and I'm so glad he understands and is supportive. Part of me is relieved I'll have two boys to break the cycle, but the other part of me wants a girl to have the relationship I never had.

lemieuxk

Not to shift away from the mom topic, but my FFFC is that I ate a breakfast sandwich AND four donut holes for breakfast this morning. And a latte. But the latte was decaf so I felt I deserved double breakfast. 

kirstynikole

lemieuxk said:

Not to shift away from the mom topic, but my FFFC is that I ate a breakfast sandwich AND four donut holes for breakfast this morning. And a latte. But the latte was decaf so I felt I deserved double breakfast. 

What I would give for donuts. 

madamerwin

Ah, mom problems. I love my mom dearly, but if I spend more than an hour with her, she annoys this SHIT out of me. She has good intentions, but she gets stressed out REALLY easily over stupid shit, and she makes stuff up. That's actually an ongoing joke among me and my sisters, that Mom knows everything before anyone else - like she KNEW I was pregnant before I told her, and then she KNEW my sister was pregnant a month later, before she told her. No you didn't, mom. Hell, she has even admitted that she makes stuff up, and that she knows WE know, and she appreciates that we humor her. It's all very strange, but that's how she's been for a long time.

To be fair, she was an excellent mother to all of us when we were really young, though a little more detached as we got older. She had a horrendous relationship with her own mom (who was verbally and physically abusive), so sometimes I think she just has the emotional maturity of a 12 year-old. She's super funny though, and we have the same sense of humor, but more than an hour with her is too damn much. We like to go thrift shopping every couple of weeks, which is perfect - we drive to the thrift store and chat, then wander around separately, and then get back in the car and go home. Maybe stop for coffee on the way.

**Possible TW?**
She is also the last person any of us siblings tell about problems, because she cannot handle stress, at all. Like, one of my sisters had to have an emergency c-section at 26 weeks - she had severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Baby is doing okay (she's at 34 weeks gestational age and up to 4lbs now), but the other day she had a serious breathing episode that scared the shit out of my sister, and my sister thought the baby was going to die (it ended up being an isolated incident and she is completely fine now). She texted me, one of my other sisters, and my dad to tell us what happened, but said she wasn't going to tell mom because she can't handle trying to calm her down. It kind of sucks having to shelter her from life, but it is what it is.

PerraSucia

I have so much work to do, but am just reading about how everyone hates their mom. 

My mom is also crazy and doesn't even know I'm pregnant.

PerraSucia

also I'm wearing a flannel and birkenstocks. 

LivingLaVidaGinger

@BumpasaurusRex my MIL is exactly like that. Especially the blaming others for the problems she created for herself. She called DH and asked him to pay her $400 car payment and he said no. So when I got my Macbook, she was pissed. She thinks she's entitled to DH's money and that she's allowed to get pissed on what he chooses to spend it on. I guess my FFFC is that she's in the hospital now and begging us to drive to florida and take her back to NC to keep her up after her surgery that will take her months before she returns to work. She's also mad we said no because we aren't going to give her the baby's room/let them share a room when the baby gets here. 

Spicyweiner

PerraSucia said:

also I'm wearing a flannel and birkenstocks. 

NO. 

Gretchypoo

I'm sorry for the mom issues. Please dont feel guilty for taking the time/space you need to be healthy.

My mom and I have a great relationship but she is awful to my H. She doesn't like his family, judges him harshly and takes everything he does personally. She is also insisting that we give our baby a family name. Then she says that if we don't it's okay and then blames my husband when we are leaning towards non-family names! *sigh*

My MIL did a lot of things that i view as abusive to my H but he doesn't view it that way. Like, everytime he farted as a child she hit his butt with a wooden spoon until he went into the bathroom. She hit him so often they have a "funny story" about how they were cleaning his room and found all the wooden spoons that had gone missing. I was spanked as a kid too, even with a wooden spoon, but my parents never thought that was an appropriate punishment for a FART ffs.

She is also self centered, flighty, anxious and an alcoholic. Fun.

grapeskittles4lyfe

Oh, moms. I love her dearly, but she has so many little traits that irritate the crap out of me. Each one by themselves is fine, but she spent last month with us in our apartment and by the third week we were all just ready to go back to seeing each other once a month or so.

I won't get into her "helpful" tips with DD. Every milestone that we didn't hit early (so all of them, also, DD was a super late talker) was obviously my fault because of something I did too much/not enough...sigh.

She keeps recycling the same.damn.anecdotes. Lady, you're 70. I have heard them all. Like, I have not heard a new one since like 2012. And she has lived a super interesting life! There has to be more to tell than "remember that time when your dad chased the Jehova's Witnesses off our lawn" (told 3 times this year already)?

Oh, and for a super über feminist she is PAINFULLY anti-muslim. I cringe when she launches into another hijab tirade. I told her I don't need to hear that, because it's unfairly generalizing and inaccurate. Didn't help.

grapeskittles4lyfe

Oh, and for a real FFFC:
the people in the apartment next to ours go out to smoke on their balcony about every hour. No escaping the smell and we can't open the windows or go on the balcony during those times.
Guess where I put our diaper pail? I won't be able to do this in the summer, but right now it's cold enough to only be mildly annoying. And non-carcinogenic

poofwok

Add me to the crazy breakfasts today - I woke up at 3 am craving fudgeos.

so at breakfast, i ate 3 of them with my strawberry yogourt. 

PerraSucia

Spicyweiner said:

PerraSucia said:

also I'm wearing a flannel and birkenstocks. 

NO. 

I'm trending man :P

kirstynikole

I made some migas for breakfast, but now I'm wishing I could've also had a latte and donuts to follow.

im currently watching food network and feeling totally inspired to cook some awesome food this weekend.. but the grocery store is sooooo farrr. 

MLRocha

kirstynikole said:

I made some migas for breakfast, but now I'm wishing I could've also had a latte and donuts to follow.

im currently watching food network and feeling totally inspired to cook some awesome food this weekend.. but the grocery store is sooooo farrr. 

Migas and a latte sounds amazing...  Maybe I can convince my DH to make some this weekend (b/c my tortillas never turn out crunchy enough).