Intro... again.... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Intro... again....

hi. I'm 42. I don't have any children... yet. At this time 2 years ago I had 2 miscarriages within three months. 10 days ago while at work I had a horrible pain in my abdomen. I went to the rest room and my body "locked up". I work at an elementary school and shouted for the nurse. She came running and I collapsed into her. My bf was called and 911. I could hear her say I was going into shock. Off to the hospital and things happened fast and are very blurry. But I do remember the dr coming in saying I was pregnant, it was ectopic, I was bleeding into my belly and I was rushed off to surgery. I hadn't missed a period (I'm like clockwork). I lost a lot of blood and needed 4 transfusions. I'm home now healing but this is a lot to take in. Part of my left tube was removed. And I have no idea if I even want to try again. I'm just terrified. 

Re: Intro... again....

  • Yikes!  I'm so sorry to hear about your experience!  How scary indeed.  I just lost my first pregnancy (I'll be 39 on Monday) last Saturday - and while I get that they can't really do anything for a "normal" miscarriage so tend not to want to see you till later (8-10 weeks?), I found it a little baffling exactly because of ectopic risk and it being higher in AMA.  But your case is even scarier as you hadn't even missed a period.  I'm so sorry that you went through that and totally understand why you'd be scared to try again.  Did they say that there was any way that they could have caught something like that?
    About me:
    Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
    ***TW***
    Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 :(
    As of 12/2016:  AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
    Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
    IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
    IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
    IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
    **New RE**
    IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
    FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17 :(
    IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
    Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
    IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
    IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
    FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
    Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)

    -----
    TFAS!
    FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Well the Monday before this I had made an appointment with my GP because I had been feeling terrible for a few weeks. We didn't even think to do a pregnancy test because I hadn't missed a period. So for me no way to catch it. 
    I'm sorry for your loss. It's just awful. My first pregnancy I was told the same thing 8-10 weeks, I didn't make it to the 10 week mark. But because I had just miscarried when I got pregnant a couple months later they saw me right away. But it was to no avail. This is all so depressing and I feel like it's just too late for me now. 
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  • @dsecada It saddens me that you're feeling so down.  I miscarried at 11w5d, so she must have passed some time between when we heard her healthy heartbeat at at 8w2d and then.  What was super deceiving was that we learned she was a girl from her "normal" NIPT results just two days prior to losing her :(.

    While obviously sad and crushing, I guess it's not shocking given DH's and my ages - we are still optimistic and grateful that we were able to get pregnant at all (we just got married in June and started trying after the wedding), but your story is super scary.  And it wouldn't take too many of these (especially if they take 16 weeks each - counting hopefully just one cycle to get back to normal physically each time) to make anyone feel beaten down.

    Hang in there!
    About me:
    Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
    ***TW***
    Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 :(
    As of 12/2016:  AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
    Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
    IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
    IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
    IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
    **New RE**
    IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
    FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17 :(
    IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
    Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
    IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
    IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
    FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
    Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)

    -----
    TFAS!
    FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Thank you. I usually have a rather sunny disposition. I'm sure with a little time I'll be back to my more optimistic self!!
  • I am sorry. :-( 
    Glad you are still alive, sounds very scary. 

     Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013 

    Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
  • Thank you. I really appreciate hearing from folks. Sorta feeling alone. 
  • I am sorry for your losses. You ectopic sounds very scary. I hope you health quickly
  • Sorry this happened to you.  

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