I'm sorry bc this is a vent. I cannot imagine that there are other moms in this position, but maybe? My husband has become resentful of me, I think, bc I am the primary care taker of this baby. He desperately wants to be more involved, particularly in feeding. I BF, and it has not been easy. I still struggle with sore nipples, her endless evening feedings, the OT to try and fix why my nipples are still sore. It's honestly very frustrating being tied down to the couch or chair for hours starting at 4p (not to mention the pumping at work, the constant anxiety that I'm not making enough milk, that working is interfering with production, etc). When he gets home, I try to hand her over to him but she's still hungry and is rooting around on him but feels helpless to help her. So he becomes resentful of me, particularly if I am just trying to finish up one last thing (like 2 more minutes to empty the dishwasher, or trying to get ready for the next day).
I'm now working PT and I am, will always be the primary care taker. He misses her so much during the day and would love to just stay home with her. I could have stayed home FT but decided for 9 non-monetary reasons that it was best for me to work 3 days a week (and i am pulling in very little). He goes grocery shopping and cooks (bc otherwise we wouldn't eat--she literally wants to nurse for 45 minutes every 45 minutes or so right during this time period). And it doesn't matter if I have to work the next day--I still have to get everything ready...wash all the bottles, get the milk ready, clean the kitchen enough to do all of these things. Get my lunch, clothes, her clothes. You know the drill. I don't even have enough time when I get home to even get her pumped milk away and feed the cat bc she needs immediate attention.
He's been working over time and hasn't been getting home until 6:30, after being on his feet the whole day. So he's been skipping being involved in what he normally would help out with, like her bath. And yet, this all seems to center around me not letting him feed her. He bought all this baby food for her to try and I told him I didn't feel comfortable (she was 3.5 months old and going on 4 here) bc of some recs saying 6 months before any solids. He even told me that he wants to visit a relative but doesn't want me to come bc of "having to deal with the whole breastfeeding thing." But really what he wants is to have her to himself. Which is fine. But I feel like he just wants the fun parts at this point. He doesn't want to take care of her nails and will never know what it is like to be on the constant clock of the boob.
So I've now become defensive of everything he said, after really trying to put on my big girl pants and just realize that he wants to be more involved. [But then I think of all the times that he just sits her up next to him in front of the TV, or when he is feeding her a bottle, the TV is on and he's paying attention to that.] All these things I keep in perspective but I am just so angry at this point that here I am, up on the net, at 2a, pissed. Is anybody else in a position like this??
*****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12
weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!