I'll make this a long story short...my husband and I really do not want to have a shower before the baby is born. He is very stubborn and wants to provide everything that we need for our baby and I honestly don't like being center of attention. My husband's family is divorced and as soon as one side hears about a shower the other side will give one, and then my workplace will throw a shower, and...then I'll probably end up with ten showers (I'm not kidding). Baptism is a very important part for my husband and I, so we are thinking about telling our parents they can invite who ever they want to the baptism. We are planning on doing an evening baptism and serving a big dinner afterwards in the church basement (we have a nice basement) or the community center. Our family is big anyway, so we would have to host something bigger regardless. I figured to make peace, we would allow the Grandparents to invite who ever they would like and maybe, if they want, ask guests to bring a book for the new baby or something like that. We have even came to the conclusion of putting our parents as hosts while we supply everything. My folks are really good about all of this, and they said they will be supportive either way. They actually like the idea of just one big shin-dig and calling it a day. They have even offered to help pay for food, cake, or a photographer. My mother-in-law will try to help out, but I honestly don't expect her too because they are on a limited income. I know she will help set up, prepare food, or help with other tasks. My husband's step-mother is the big pot stirrer - so we are going to leave it at that.
This is our miracle baby and many people have been praying for us, supporting us, and helping us through the adoption process. I truly think from the bottom of my heart it would be a slap in the face if we did not invite the people who have helped us. We weren't suppose to be able to be pregnant, and now here we are! Also, my husband is a fire fighter, so we have to have our fire family as well (hence "big" family).