October 2016 Moms

WTF Wednesday (Sept 14)

What's making you ragey today ladies?
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Re: WTF Wednesday (Sept 14)

  • "Color Days" at school. Today is Red day and my DD has NO red clothes. She spent all yesterday after school and this morning freaking out because she would be the only kid not wearing red. I seen no other children walking into the school wearing red, except my son. She also has nothing orange, yellow or brown. I can't wait for those days! Not! Hopefully I'm snuggling a baby in the hospital when those days come next week and DH can deal with it!

    Baby 1 - 10/2010 | Baby 2 - 8/2012 | Baby 3 - 6/2014 | Baby 4 - EDD 8/2016 - MC 12-27-2015 | Baby 5 - : 9/2016

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  • Wtf to my mom again. Yesterday i told her that when we have the baby, the plan is for my FIL to hold hom first, after us of course. FI and i feel that is is only right since we are naming the baby after FIL father and my father. My mom totally flipped her shit cause she can't be the first to hold him. She went from one extreme to the other. she even went so far as to say since i don't want her in the delivery room a d she can't hold hom first, she just doesn't even need to come to the hospital. Then she goes on to remind me of everything she has bought for me and baby and how she has been there for me.i'm thinking mama that's your job as my mother. 

  • @owlcup - Anytime I see parents posting pictures of their kids from those "days" at school, I think "I'm going to be a terrible parent." I think it's so dumb! And if it's optional, I ain't doin' it! This week on FB, several parents posted pics of their children dressed up as super heroes for "Super Reader Day." As if kids aren't expensive enough, now I have to buy or make damn costumes every week for school?! NOPE. 
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  • WTF feet.  I now understand the cliche 'barefoot and pregnant.'  My feet do not want to be in shoes.  They just sweat immediately.  ewww.  I just want to sit at my work desk all day with my feet next to my fan, but I don't want to fan my smelly feet towards anyone.  I'm so gross.
    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
  • @chriscasey33 I pretty much only wear shoes at work to go to the bathroom. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
  • WTF H. Not going to get into why but I'm seriously irritated. What makes me more pissed is I have plans for this afternoon/ evening and now I just want to go home and lay down. And screw "talking" later. 
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  • @annabenanna WTF??? I'd be SO pissed!! Too f-ing bad if people think it's unfair he leaves at 2 pm a few times a month...he's still working the same amount of time!!  Wouldn't it be unfair to NOT leave early and flake out on his responsibilities as a father?  I can't believe his boss had the nerve to say that.  Was this schedule for "daddy duties" agreed upon with his boss in the past?  It's not something that can then be just changed at the drop of a hat...kids are involved!  Family is involved!  And now, to give up your trip?  I would likely feel the same way, out of fear of losing my job, but it still super sucks and isn't fair! I'm so sorry this is being dropped on you both so close to baby time. :(
  • @annabenanna ok that seriously sucks!!! And (I know my opinion means nothing haha) I think your dh has his priorities perfect. Work is important but his kids/family should always be more important. And it's not like he is asking to shirk his responsiblities, just handle them at a different time. 

    Oh the rage! 
  • edited September 2016
    @annabenanna
    Ugh.  That's so disgusting.  "Reconsider your priorities?"  He's still working a full shift!  It's not like he's asking to take time-off.  He planned ahead.  I'm so mad for you.  I hate workplace culture sometimes.
     
    And taking family leave because your wife just had a baby?  Yeah your husband's priorities are definitely skewed.  </sarcasm>
    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
  • @annabenanna I don't love your post I wish there was an angry button!! WOW!!! I would be livid!! 
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    Married 11-11-11
    TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year.
    BFP 02-15-16 with our first
    IT'S A BOY!!! 


  • @owlcup - Anytime I see parents posting pictures of their kids from those "days" at school, I think "I'm going to be a terrible parent." I think it's so dumb! And if it's optional, I ain't doin' it! This week on FB, several parents posted pics of their children dressed up as super heroes for "Super Reader Day." As if kids aren't expensive enough, now I have to buy or make damn costumes every week for school?! NOPE. 
    This is what I tried to tell her but she's five. I'm just like "Dude, sorry but I'm not buying you a bunch of special shirts!" She doesn't like the colors red, orange, or yellow so she never, ever chooses clothes in those colors but now it's a big freaking deal! Ugh, children.

    I've seen a few Roald Dahl and Dr. Suess days already for some other friend's kids and just, no. I can't. They can participate in PJ day, and that's about it. haha :P

    Baby 1 - 10/2010 | Baby 2 - 8/2012 | Baby 3 - 6/2014 | Baby 4 - EDD 8/2016 - MC 12-27-2015 | Baby 5 - : 9/2016

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  • @annabenanna I agree with everyone else. Work place drama is ridiculous!  
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  • @annabenanna WTF! I have such an issue with the idea that family life is not a valid priority to have (not to even mention that he's still working a full shift like PP stated). My DH has some issues with that at his work as well and it makes me so ragey. I hate the idea that work trumps everything and family should come second. 

    My WTF is to my stupid luck. I broke one of my toes yesterday! I am due in less than 3 weeks and am now wobbling around trying to get the last details before delivery finished and just generally feeling quite sorry for myself. I was really hoping to continue to stay active throughout these weeks to help with my circulation (developed carpel tunnel a few weeks ago, wahoo) and labor. And now I doubt I'll be able to do much at all.

  • @annabenanna - if I were your H I would be seriously considering other jobs. That is first class bullshit...is his boss in his 20's or something? He sounds either very young or very new at being other people's supervisor. Not a great start for a startup if management is terrible.

    This is me totally making other people's WTFs into my UO or FFFC, but I'm totally looking forward to getting my kids stuff for theme days at school, and I am totally that person who is on the phone on the toilet (at home anyways). I just don't flush til I'm off the phone ;) 
  • @annabenanna Wow. Just wow. 
    DH: 29 | Me: 29 
    Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
    TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
    DD: 10/5/16
    TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
    DS: 1/9/19
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  • @annabenanna I never understand that about people... your H isn't "leaving work early" he's working his hours on a different shift than everyone else. If he waltzed in at 9 or 10 and left at 2, then yeah, that would be an issue, but he's coming in early to go home early, which is COMPLETELY NORMAL and responsible! A lot of companies do shift work! What's so hard to understand about that? Your H's co-workers sound like ding dongs.

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  • @NoraAurora I will admit to talking to certain people (H, my Mom, etc.) on the phone while on the toilet AT HOME. I would never do it at work where there are 3 other people peeing at any given time. That's just weird. 

    Me: 32 & DH: 37
    Married: November 2014
    TTC #1 Since: October 2015
    BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP
    BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
    IT'S A BOY!!!!
    DS Born 10/16/16

  • @annabenanna Ugh, that makes me so ragey. "I seriously urge you to reconsider your priorities" - pretty sure having your family as your #1 priority is a good thing! And I doubt the rest of his coworkers are getting in at 6am. He's still working a full day!
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  • I am going to try to keep this short but my wtf is to my mom. 

    We are buying their house but there have been major issues with just about everything. We were supposed to close August 31. That didn't happen because of issues on both our end and theirs. Their issue got figured out first so they (both parents) have been up my ass to get a new closing date. But I'm not the person who can do that, we have to wait to here from other people. It has strained our relationship even though I am literally doing everything I can to figure it out (including going over my lenders head and calling the VA directly). *deep breathe* so finally today it looks like everything will be in place to close on the 23rd. Fine. Well today I mentioned something about having to rent a truck and my mom (who had always planned to use movers) said that the company she talked to doesn't have availability until oct 5 and she is 'absolutely' not moving anything herself. Then specifically said 'especially my bedroom'... she knows I have said at this point I am most worried about the master bedroom since that's where the baby will sleep and dd sleeps with us. 

    So.... I'm due 10/10. I will officially own the house on 9/23. Yet she is telling me that they aren't going to move until Oct 5. Yeah no!!

    As soon as we close I'm going to have to tell her she has to figure it out. They aren't old or unable to do it themselves, it's just a lot. But I am not paying another months rent and not having a place to bring Lo home to because she doesn't 'feel' like it. 
  • @maf9866 - yeah, your mom needs to treat this situation as if you as a buyer were a total stranger to her. You may need to be the one to tell her that, and ABSOLUTELY pull the 9 months' pregnant card. Another option is to hire the damn movers FOR her, or offer help from your H and some of his bigger friends? Either way, I wouldn't take no for an answer. Sorry mom. 


  • @annabenanna WTF is right. I hate that. That's actually a reason I left my old firm is that yea, you could sort of maybe do some weird scheduling thing with kids if you worked like 5 hours extra a day (they expected you to be available at all times pretty much), and they touted that as their great "work life balance". When it really came down to it, the people with kids just never got promoted even though they worked harder while the single people who worked a lot and put off their personal lives made it right to the top. Staff who really wanted kids would actually say, "But I need to wait until I make manager to have kids." That could take a good 5-7 years. Your husband is working totally normal hours, and the thought of work as the most important priority while your family suffers should die. 
  • @maf9866 From your post it sounded like your mom will only consider using those movers... is that accurate? I mean, there has to be a moving company with availability sooner than 10/5. She is being ridiculous. 

    Me: 32 & DH: 37
    Married: November 2014
    TTC #1 Since: October 2015
    BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP
    BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
    IT'S A BOY!!!!
    DS Born 10/16/16

  • "I shudder to think at what it's like for single dads.  Or single moms who have to put up with this."

    Yes.

    It's harder working closely with a small group of people - you tend to get into each other's lives too much. However some people behave as if it's weird to prioritize family....as though the majority of adults age 30+ DON'T have kids! They do! And if your H did leave and were to get replaced, in all likelihood it would be someone with a family. And if they don't have one today, maybe they will in a few months. Or a different coworker has a KU wife and hasn't told yet....or whatever.

    Sorry to rant but I get so ragey about this stuff because it ties into the whole lack of mat leave/unpaid leave/non-existence of leave problem we have in the US. It affects everyone, and I'm so GD sick and tired of people acting like it doesn't.   
    PREACH!






    Me: 32 & DH: 37
    Married: November 2014
    TTC #1 Since: October 2015
    BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP
    BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
    IT'S A BOY!!!!
    DS Born 10/16/16

  • @NoraAurora , can you please run for office?  Why aren't our politicians, lawmakers, congress doing MORE???  Why are we still stuck in the dark ages????

    @SpaceBurger that's so screwed up that people have to wait to make manager and put their lives on pause!  Is this the reality of things everywhere?  Is it just in the US?  Is it just a select number of companies?

    Ugh, this is so depressing.  


  • @annabenanna Yeah, you have every right to be pissed. And worried. My DH works at a large company in a country with laws protecting ANY parent yet they still managed to boot a coworker who took 3 months paternity leave. It's sick.

    My WTF is once again my mother. We are visiting over Christmas but she mentioned several weeks ago they were going to try to visit us this fall. Long story short, I don't want her here. A week ago she brought it up again and I managed to say that 1. Baby won't "get" anything out of seeing her when he's that young and 2. I don't need her help. She was offended but I I thought the conversation was over. Then today I get a message asking for the name of the hotel in my town because she wants to check travel dates and availability. My mother is an intelligent person. She KNOWS I don't want her here. And she knows I'll never be able to say no. I don't know what to do  :(
    DS#1 born 05 October 2016
    DS#2  due 25 April 2019
  • @NoraAurora I agree. If we were any other buyer she wouldn't be able to do that. And even though we are getting a great house at a great price, my mom is the one who pushed for us to buy it because she has always hated that house. So it's not like the did us a huge favor- we kind of did each other favors. My dh would gladly help as would my step fathers friends. 

    @MRSCORKER we live in a really small town so there is only one company who actually has movers but she is going to have to go to the nearest 'big' town (about 45 minutes away) because it's unacceptable. 

    The worse part is she's saying it and blaming me at the same time. Like they had hired movers for the 19th but they had to cancel them because the closing won't be until the 23rd. Well no one told them the 19th! They just picked that date. 

    I love my mom but I'm ready to have this be done so I can take a break from her. We will need her to help out with dd for a week or two while I'm recovering (to get dd to and from school) but when I'm back up, I'm just going to keep my distance until everyone can cool down. 
  • @MRSCORKER you give really good advice!
  • WTF to my admins... On my way to the bathroom just now: "lady, how much have you GAINED??!".

    Yikes!! Trying not to let it bother me but hormones are getting in the way of my rational thinking... 
  • Wtf to my mom again. Yesterday i told her that when we have the baby, the plan is for my FIL to hold hom first, after us of course. FI and i feel that is is only right since we are naming the baby after FIL father and my father. My mom totally flipped her shit cause she can't be the first to hold him. She went from one extreme to the other. she even went so far as to say since i don't want her in the delivery room a d she can't hold hom first, she just doesn't even need to come to the hospital. Then she goes on to remind me of everything she has bought for me and baby and how she has been there for me.i'm thinking mama that's your job as my mother. 


    Oh man at least your mom buys you things, my mom thinks that I should give her everything and cater to her as well as my family. She thinks she should be in the delivery room but I am not having it. She can't drive or be helpful at all so why would I want my husband to have to cater to me and my mother. She drives me absolutely insane, trying to say this is our baby, sorry no this is my BABY!!
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  • @chriscasey33 I feel the same way, my feet sweat like crazy even in flip flops. I am afraid I am going to slip and fall anytime now.
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  • scostel2 said:
    @MRSCORKER you give really good advice!
    +1. If it's non-negotiable you will just have to be firm and say no :(
  • @cassieleeanne
    I was thinking of wearing my flip flops to work, but they are so old and ratty.  But I didn't even consider the slipping and falling danger!  Be careful.  Precious cargo :) 
    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
  • ashleyp625ashleyp625 member
    edited September 2016
    @annabenanna I'm sorry. That's really sucky. Hope you guys find a solution tonight, or soon. 
    @spaceburger Not totally the same, but we had to put kids on hold til I could finish my Masters' for my job. This is year 7 of teaching and we've been married 5 years. No way we could afford it on step 1 teacher pay :( 
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