Co-sleeping

Skyjewell23

I'll preface this with I didn't read the article or all the comments. 

I coslept with DS (still do. He's 3)and we will absolutely cosleep with this baby. We will be side carting the crib so baby has his/her own space as well. There are safe ways to bed share. 

We love our family bed and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

AverageAsh

Here's a really unpopular factoid: my pediatrician and the doctors in the hospital recommended Co sleeping and even recommended sleeping with Lu on my bare chest with my arms propped up so basically neither of us were going anywhere. We kept her in our room (basinett) for six months and then transferred her to her crib. I slept in the daybed in her room on nights she nursed a lot. It was best for us and we always made sure we were safe about it. 

Burrberrymum

chrlyr said:

We actually bedshared from about 8 months until he was 3.5 more out of necessity than anything else. It was the only way he would sleep. I was totally one of those people who said I would never do it. It was a very hard habit to break and I wouldn't do it again if I could help it.

This is me.. only from 2 months - 2.5 years old.

DD had major sleeping issues, she comfort nursed all night and would cry otherwise. I even had a nurse come and help us with sleep issues and after months and months she was baffled and told me that for my case she actually recommended bedsharing. Sleep was a major nightmare and a very dark place for me for 2.5 years. Most nights I sleep in her bed when she wakes up around 2-3 am now still. We grew so accustomed to it that sometimes I still crawl into her bed even if she's sleeping. (Should have saved that one for a FFFC lol) .. I didnt read the article because it will probably give me anxiety but I am a firm believer that depending on the circumstances bedsharing can be safer. ( Before bed sharing, I went a week or so with so little sleep that I passed out with tiny little DD in my arms and I hit my head off my night table) that's when I said enough was enough and we started bedsharing. (She was unharmed but it was really scary!) 

ihateusernames*

I forgot to add that I still co-sleep with both my 19 month old and my 3 year old. We love it. 

We we have a king size bed right beside a Queen and my husband sleeps on the queen and sometimes one of the kids will go snuggle him as well. 

With newborns-6 months I never shared a bed with my older child or my husband though. He's a heavy sleeper and the toddler = unsafe co-sleeping. 

For some mamas in reading more, "three in a bed", "the continuum concept" and "Dr. Sears's attachment parenting book" were very helpful 

GoldenTMama

Thanks everyone for sharing! I'm a FTM so I'm happy to hear all views.

I think my sister was a bed-sharer with her son, who is now 3 and has his own bed (I have a feeling he still sleeps with them most of the time). I don't think bed-sharing would work for us, I'm a nervous-nancy and would probably never sleep. Also, my DH tosses and turns all night. Our bed is a Cal king, but every time he turns the whole bed shakes so I can't imagine a baby would get very good sleep on a bed with us. I plan on purchasing this overpriced bassinet https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LPBV1J2/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=31DHKL0443OQJ&coliid=I133TQLLZ4WRVB because I like how is swivels so that it can be put over the bed (like bed-sharing), but can also easily be moved out of the way. It looks like it might be good for late feedings too. Of course we will see how things go because it sounds like we all just work it out as we go. 

I am also looking at products like the one @Bok Bagok has, but because our bed is so large it takes up a lot of the room and I like the HALO's ability to move out of the way easily. 


Edit: added photo of the bassinet 

kap1988

@peony2418 Sleeping with the baby in your room, but not in your bed, is considered the safest option.

peony2418

thanks @kap1988!!  Looks like I know what I'll be reading about when I'm just surfing the internet this weekend.  LOL!

Phil413

@ihateusernames* As for fear mongering and your reference to SIDS, I had a sister who died from that while sleeping in a crib. She was 5 weeks old. This stuff can happen to the best of parents. You have to trust your instincts and do your research. We all put up safety gates for our kids and rear-face until they're 11 or something, because that's probably where we're headed. When I was 5 I could play in the yard by myself. I won't let my 5 year-old do that because times have changed. A lot of parenting choices are based in fear.

@Cbeanz Yes, we live Berks County. Where are you living now?

That HALO looks amazing but I don't think we can afford it. This time we're either going with the trusty old bassinet or a rock n' play.

kjd291

@peony2418   there are bedsharing options if you are considering it, but still want something more than baby just in bed with you.  Like this: is usually also a cheaper option than the ones that attach to the side of your bed.

dubcompanion

Those crib pictures have me giggling! I just love how happy and well-rested the parents look. No wonder the realities of having a baby are such a shock on brand new parents. "But-but- the Baby Bjorn mom has time to condition her hair!!"

GoldenTMama

@Phil413 Yes, the price for the HALO is ridiculous! My parents are being extremely generous and have offered to pitch in for it, otherwise we wouldn't be able to get it either. I really want a co-sleeper that can be close to me, but not share the bed with me. I looked at a few other co-sleeper bassinets that attach to the bed, but even those are over $100. Ugh. 

lilies5/28/06

I'm also an advocate for cosleeping eventhough I will say if I could get DS into his own crib and or toddler bed I would sleep much happier. We started with cosleeping and it turned to DS waking upmultiple times at night and we would both fall asleep(him on my chest) in chair and or bed even though I tried the co sleeping and not bed sharing it seemed he liked the warmth of our bed best and kept waking up  and crying bloody murder; that and the fact that I did not have the heart to hear him cry it out in his crib . Due to lack of sleep I caved and we started to bed share and I do take the proper precautions make sure he's onmy side  not next to DH and the way I figure they are only  little once this stage is temporary. there will become a time that they will want no parts of me let alone want to snuggle. Luckliy I am a light sleeper that and the constant peeing that I am aware of DS making sure he is safe.

Now I do miss just having DH and I in the bed so my goal is to have DS out of my bed before this belly gets so big and the new baby arrives. With the new baby I would like to do co sleeping but will try to avoid bedsharing as much as possible. DS is 2 1/2 almost 3 yrs old


Edited to add DS age

peony2418

Thank you @kjd291!!! There are so many different types!!!

Bluebird2318

I co-sleep (not bedshare) for the first few months before putting baby in their own room with a monitor. I did bedshare on rare occasion with DS, but only for naps, only when I was alone (as in, no DH or DD), and only once I was past the exhaustion stage. I've just heard too many tragic stories to justify regular bedsharing. 

AnonnAni

kjd291 said:

@peony2418   there are bedsharing options if you are considering it, but still want something more than baby just in bed with you.  Like this: is usually also a cheaper option than the ones that attach to the side of your bed.

I have that exact co sleeper its super light and great for traveling with baby. We dont use it for home but great option to have. 

wintersong

@npaulie Creativity H and I have a "rule" that we have to have sex once a week at least. If we dont, we know that something needs to be asjusted. (first tri doesn't count, lol. Also we average twice a week so not aving sex in awhile is weird for us) 

Ideas:
1. We had a lot of sex in the living room And not always at night.....babies make you tired. We used naptime a lot.
2. Baby also had a crib in our room so he could snooze while we did our thing. 

My son was in a floor bed before he was a year old so I'm not sure about toddlers. 

vino831

kjd291 said:

@sunshine507 I didn't get the nursery set up till around 1mo after baby, because we moved homes right when babe was arriving:  it ended up not mattering at all. DD slept in our room in a bassinet or bed-sharing, and during the day in her bouncer/rocker downstairs or in car seat on the go.  She didn't sleep in her crib till around 6mo.  This time around, I'm also not setting up a space for baby till close to 4mo. because they'll be in my room for at least that long.  so IMO-no, you don't need a nursery and crib set up pre-baby.

Stupid box


I'm with you. I don't even think we're getting a crib for #2. We went from Basinette to bed sharing to floor bed in his first year. I guess we have DSs crib if #2 needs it but I'm not having it together before they arrive.

vino831

Bok Bagok said:

@longliveregina I think it's called the Culla Belly co-sleeper, I bought it online in 2014 and it was super hard to find. I googled it earlier this month to see if has become more mainstream but I actually can't find a single place that sells it  

Noo.. that looks soo cool!!

vino831

kjd291 said:

@peony2418   there are bedsharing options if you are considering it, but still want something more than baby just in bed with you.  Like this: is usually also a cheaper option than the ones that attach to the side of your bed.

Yes!!! We used this for a while and loved it!