Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

First miscarriage

We found out yesterday we are having a miscarriage we were around 5 weeks.  I honestly don't know how to react or feel besides sad and heartbroken. The moments come and go. We barley told anyone hadn't even got to tell family, yesterday I called my mom to tell her I lost my baby. But I feel like I can't even acknowledge publicly I lost my baby as we were so early and hadn't told anyone really. And then I feel I blame myself I stressed myself out, I didn't take it easy, and I feel people will judge since we weren't very far along it was just a small little appleseed I didn't even get to see it. I just don't know how to react. I know we can and will try again but I just keep thinking what if,what would, was it a girl a boy, would it have looked like mommy or daddy we had ideas and plans and thoughts and a baby announcment idea all ready. I was feel a better about it as my due date was around the time we lost my grandma it felt special. As I was walking into the hospital I knew I lost the baby, I saw a newborn family walk out and I felt happy for them a sadness that I was walking in to be told my baby was gone. I waited for the ultrasound to rule out ectopic pregnancy and saw two new moms coming out with their ultrasound pictures and all I could think is ill never see this baby. 
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