I'm three months pregnant and my mother-in-law is over the moon, which is great, but she's driving me nuts.
Without making this a long story, there are some issues with hubby's family and his parents separated five years ago. My husband has a lot of anger with her he's still working out. Now that I'm pregnant it's just made it worse.
When my MIL comes over, twice now she's told me how disgusting my house is and cleaned it up even tho we said ignore it and just visit. It's not in the helpful sort of way either. She does it and tells us how lazy we are....we both work full time jobs and hubby is more focused on taking care of me then sweeping or mopping. It's not horrible but I've let the dust bunnies pile up because I've been so sick.
She keeps talking about how she is going to babysit and be here all the time and that scares me.
On top of that she has already started buying used baby books and other big items without asking if these are things we wanted or needed. It's nice that she wants to help in that way, however, she is on a very limited income so it's just really hurting herself. I'm worried she won't be able to pay for groceries or her rent.
I'm also frustrated because when it comes to baby, I want to pick his or her things out. It's my first baby and i want to enjoy picking out the things baby will use. I don't understand because my own mom wouldn't just pick out big items without shopping with me or asking. We would go together and make it a fun outing.
She means well but my MIL has a lot of issues, and she has this abrasive personality. I don't know how to stand up for myself while making it clear there will be time for grandma to spend with baby but she won't be in control.
It still hasn't hit me yet that I'm pregnant and I'm not excited yet because I know my MIL is going to have a lot of jealously. I barely see my own parents because of the schedule they work. But my MIL thinks we see my family all the time because they live 10 minutes away and she is 45 minutes.
I wish I had more time with my own mom.
Hubby tries to talk to his mom but it just end up in fights.
Any advice on dealing with family would be great.