UO- 8.25

sammyl1221

Share your UO! 

l9i

I'll start.  I thought of this the other day... We live in a more rural area and as I drive around I don't understand the appeal of having horses.  Now I'm not talking about the places that train and offer horses for lessons, but those that just have horses to have horses.  Maybe there's a reason that I don't know of, but seems like a big money (and time) suck to me to take care of them and not ride or anything like that.

princesslockness

@I9i While they are expensive, I have always enjoyed every minute of owning a horse. I can take a Saturday and spend all day just brushing and grooming. For me that is more relaxing than anything else. Getting to ride, whether a trail or pushing cattle or just in an arena, is wonderful. Many people don't always have the liquid cash to 'rent' a horse for a weekend, but if you have pasture or grow hay you can not have to spend much to maintain your equine. That gives you easy access whenever you happen to have an hour or 2.

Austenista

@Kate08Young that's also a nice life for the horse, yes? Kind of a sanctuary type life. Horse is pretty much free to live life inside that pasture, I'm thinking? Way different than the life of a horse used for manual labor or buggy-pulling, I'm thinking. 

princesslockness

caseyewhitaker said:

@Kate08Young that's also a nice life for the horse, yes? Kind of a sanctuary type life. Horse is pretty much free to live life inside that pasture, I'm thinking? Way different than the life of a horse used for manual labor or buggy-pulling, I'm thinking. 

It is. Those of us who have used horses to work daily call it being a pasture ornament, but it is a really nice retirement for them. 

slartybartfast

I've got close friends that grew up with horses, take great care of them, and horses are clearly just embedded into their life and culture.
ANNNND then I live around multimillion dollar horse properties where horses are a posh pet but they don't know how to care for them. The horses are miserable and often end up on craigslist or other sites or worse, with the ASPCA. It's so shameful.

And then I live about a 1/2 mile from an awesome ranch that does horse back riding lessons and boards other people's horses. The horses seem happy, its a great feel for the area, and they let us take wheel barrows of dookie for our gardens

ETA - not saying ASPCA is bad but things have to be bad for it to get that far

princesslockness

slartybartfast said:

And then I live about a 1/2 mile from an awesome ranch that does horse back riding lessons and boards other people's horses. The horses seem happy, its a great feel for the area, and they let us take wheel barrows of dookie for our gardens

If money wasn't an issue with getting set up, ^this is the life I would have. + training the yearly foal crop, and running 200 head of cattle. 

Lisa3379

ea301

I feel the same way about boats. I would love to have a friend with a boat, but I would HATE to own a boat myself because of the cost and amount of work it would require.

Replace "boat" with "horse" and it still applies for me. I think maybe I'm just lazy

Lisa3379

Similarly (but definitely less costly than a horse or a boat) - a pool. I would love to have a friend (or maybe live in a building) with access to a pool all of the time, but having my own? Seems like a lot of upkeep and worry.

But then again, I guess you could get a pool boy...

ea301

Agree 100% @Lisa3379 - my husband wanted a pool when we were looking for a new house and I vetoed that right away. I feel like pools are way too much work than they're worth, especially in this area (mid Atlantic) where at least 6 months out of the year, you can't even use it.

l9i

@Kate08Young See to me, taking care of them would be more time and stress than it would be fun and a stress relief.  

@slartybartfast It's so sad and shameful to see any animal that isn't taken care of appropriately, especially when it's a "trophy" and someone wanted to show it off but not take care of it.

brittnic86

I live in Oregon where summer lasts MAYBE 3 months, and I'm still putting a small above ground pool in our yard lol.

tinattt23

I can't stand 99% of the named/program diets. Atkins, south beach, weight watchers, ect. I get it. A lot of people need some set of rules to follow. Some of those rules seem fine, but some of them just make no sense to me. I really wish we could just teach people general healthy eating habits. 

My whole family yoyos on all these fad diets. They lose a bunch of weight on them because they aren't able to eat their normal foods. Get to their goal weight (or just get tired of it and quit) and go back to eating how they did before. Then are surprised when they gain the weight back. Repeat cycle. 

Took me years as an adult to truly figure out healthy (or at least moderately healthy) eating. There really needs to be better education out there. Many people just don't know what's good/bad/ok in moderation. Definetly not claiming I'm perfect by any means, but I've learned a lot about what I'm ok eating regularly and what counts as special treats/splurges (which are totally ok sometimes!). 

I cringe when I hear my mom say, "no, I can't have any fruit. It has carbs". What kind of healthy diet says eat all the cheese and bacon you want but put down that apple? 

Rant over 

slartybartfast

@tinattt23 - I have healthy eating TOTALLY figured out and understood. Unfortunately I also have unhealthy eating totally figured out. Overeating is part of my family culture... much harder thing to unlearn. I've never done a fad diet and have always kept things in check but as I'm getting older, I'm realizing how much more willpower I need to harness to keep everything in check. It sucks

I agree - fad diets often don't educate for long term understanding of healthy eating. Education on eating right and not over eating is sorely needed. But it still leaves me with my problem of delicious food EVERYWHERE and a bottomless pit stomach.

Austenista

@tinattt23 I agree with you on all of them except WW. Low carb diets are pretty unhealthy. I actually think WW teaches healthier eating habits, but it's certainly not perfect and I don't like their new smartpoints system. Using their pointsplus I've lost nearly 100 pounds over the course of a couple of years and didn't yo-yo or gain it back. I like it because I can literally have whatever I want within moderation and fruits and vegetables don't count, I can eat those until the cows come home for free. I've even had minimal gain over pregnancy while not using it. I do like the structure, but I like that it helps me to understand that if I want to go out and eat whatever I want, that's okay, I can work my meal plans around it, etc. 

Low carb and the stuff with new names that is still low carb, blech. I hate that mess. My mom does that crap and it makes me sick. She makes these fat bomb things that make me want to gag and checks her pee to go into ketosis, hoping she'll get bad breath, etc. Then she'll drop 20 pounds at the snap of a finger but doesn't seem to understand that she's not actually losing weight because she immediately gains it back with interest. Yet, some doctors will still tell you to eat this way even though it's pretty much the opposite of what your body needs to function properly.

Why can't people learn to eat in moderation? I don't know for sure, but I think it's because our culture doesn't offer us food in moderation. A lot food we have is packaged and designed to make us crave and want more of it. I try to stay out of the aisles of the grocery store and stick to the core real foods in the arc around, but the reality is, I love food. I'm fat because I love food, my metabolism isn't fast, and I don't love to exercise. But I've been trying for a couple of years now to turn it around. I definitely haven't been able to develop a healthy relationship with food over night. 

When I was doing weight watchers, it encouraged me daily to gain points by exercising, set goals for myself, eat the things I like to eat with more vegetables and in manageable portions, and drink a ton of water. Before I was pregnant I had even gotten into jogging, wearing a fitbit, and hitting a step goal every day. Some people would say that's not a big deal because they do that anyway. It was for me, because I used to weigh about 350 pounds and I definitely wasn't able to work out initially at that weight, much less enjoy doing so. I needed the structure because I wasn't going to just learn to change my entire lifestyle on my own, unfortunately. I wish it was that easy, but alas, I love food. 

ashleaf2018

My UO: I love all the frilly, pink, lacy, princess-y girly stuff for baby girls. I really do. Some of it, I would wear myself if they made it in my size. Give me all the sequins, glitter, and oversized hair bows.

PensiveCrayon

Agreed, @tinattt23. I do well with rules, but pretty soon I'm like, "Screw this!" and it's back to square one. I'm trying to get on board with intuitive eating, but I love food so much that I never remember to eat intuitively!

tinattt23

@slartybartfast Overeating a huge part of my family culture as well. My mom really doesn't need a to make a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, pound of sausage, huge bunch of hash browns, and whole loaf of toast for breakfast for 4 people... Best thing I ever did (which was a hug pain in the ass) was buy a food scale and use one of those calorie counting apps for a solid year. It made me aware of how much food I was really eating vs what I thought I was. And even then it look a long time for stomach to get used to not eating so much at one time.

@caseyewhitaker I'll admit I don't know all the rules of WW. All that stands out to me are the desserts I see on Pinterest all the time, especially the cake mix and diet soda thing for barely any points. That scares me we're teaching people that's "healthy" and ok to eat a ton of when common sense would say no way. 
But I totally get the need for structure/goals in hopes that things become habit/routine eventually. I love the sticking to the edges of the grocery story thing. I also like to bring my FI with me to shop. I'm much less tempted to throw junk in cart when someone else is watching. And, for me, not bringing it into the house is the biggest hurdle. As long as I don't have crap at home, I'm much less likely to get up and get it somewhere else. 
Excercise goals I can totally get behind. Even if someone else has no issues getting their steps in doesn't mean it's not a big deal another person. Everyone starts somewhere different and any kind of moving is better than nothing. I think I struggle here the most. I'm great at coming up with excuses for being lazy 
But you definetly sound like you know what you're doing and it's awesome you're working hard to be healthier in general. A lot of people think fat=unhealthy, skinny= healthy but there's so much more to it. 

sourlemon

I grew up with a pool in my backyard. Loved it. When DH and I were house hunting it was on my no go list because upkeep is expensive, there are major liability issues with kids and pets, and it's just a pain in general. Dh didn't even know how to swim when we met but by golly he wanted a pool. 

We bought a house...with a pool. We pay a company for upkeep and installed a fence (it only had a net before). I'm in Arizona so it can usually be used late April-mid October....but it's kinda a pain to use. Gotta uncover it, skim it, make sure the chemicals aren't too high for my toddler.........so it hasn't gotten used a ton. 

However the past few weeks we are in at least 4 times a week. I only uncover the shallow end. DD plays on the steps mostly and I lounge or stretch. It's been great. I'm sure as the kids get older it'll be used more often but right now it's hard. And expensive. 

However....I wouldn't trade it for anything now. DD loves to swim. Watching her learn has been great. We already have lots of fun memories in the pool. And...some of my best memories growing up were in the pool in my yard. Yeah it can be a pain but I'm glad DH roped me into getting the house with the pool so my kids can have those experiences like I did.

cayaylonglegs

@ashleaf2018 - totally agree. If I could wear a tutu everyday I probably would. I'm the girliest girl when it comes to everything except my hair. 

Austenista

@tinattt23 I agree with you about the soda and cake thing, that's pretty gross. There are, as with anything, ways to eat really unhealthily within your points. I mean you can eat easy mac w/ cut up hot dogs thrown in within your points. Doesn't mean you should, but you could, lol. I guess that's the down side to having the ability to eat what you want. 

If I eat dessert, I typically eat something within my points/weeklies that's actually a dessert if I'm craving it. I think that's actually pretty normal. People that eat stuff in moderation buy oreos sometimes, I think. I might buy some oreo thins (mint is my fave) and eat exactly the serving size. If I don't trust myself to stay out of them I tell my husband to put them up and when I want one, he'll get one for me. That's really the main thing with WW - serving size. Why would I want to eat some diet soda cake mix monstrosity when I could just have 1/2 a cup of caramel gelato for a few points instead? Some people like that stuff, but I'm with you, I think real food is best food even if it's real junk food. 

tinattt23

@caseyewhitaker I agree. I'd rather splurge once in a while and eat some really brownies than some weird soda cake thing all the time. I'd rather have the calories from real sugar and butter than lord knows what from fat free sugar free Frankenstein food. 

ashleaf2018

As far as the diets go, I've learned that anything done to lose weight usually backfires. The only times diets work for me is in conjunction with exercise and an actual want to live a healthier lifestyle. If you're not making an actual lifestyle change, yeah you may see results, but you won't keep them. I'm a fan of diets as long as they're being utilized for the right reason and are actually healthy. 

phoenix870509

Pools in Florida are a must. I swim in my parents pool year round as well as the community pool where I live. When we get a house there better be a pool nearby!

I was told by my R/E to go on a modified paleo diet when I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was so pissed about it because I hate hate HATE fad diets and that's what paleo is to me. But I did it and it wasn't all that bad. I dropped so much weight the first month (not what I was going for but hey!). By the third month I was down 30 pounds and my hormone levels had regulated. Score! I added healthy carbs back into my diet when I started working out. Brown rice instead of white. Whole grain bread instead of white. Healthy carbs in fruits and veggies. I still had bad stuff, but in moderation. Then Squish was on the way and off the diet I went. But I'll definitely be going back on once I have clearance because it helped regulate my hormones med free, which is what I want. Plus we want more babies

My UO (and maybe it's not that unpopular) is I tell DH whenever I spend money. Not because he is controlling but because he handles the finances and we're in this as a team. Gotta make sure the bills are paid before I can spend $20 on crafting supplies, and he'd know more than I would if the money is there. 

kbduke

I guess my UO is that I'm a fan of the Atkins type diets but not to the extreme. I used it strictly to drop about 20 pounds for my wedding and the weight stayed off for 2-3 years.

 I just like the low carb "diets" because it encourages you to stay away from all of the super processed "white" carbs. So many people just aren't aware of how much of these they put into their bodies and you basically metabolize them as straight sugar.

I've found where I live (in the south) so many people seriously just live off these type of processed foods, especially kids. But to me it really comes down to eating a healthy balance of protein, complex carbs, and fresh fruits and vegetables

tinattt23

@phoenix870509 I run most financial stuff through FI, too. At least any large purchase. And he goes through our all accounts with a fine tooth comb each month and will ask me to verify certain purchases/amounts. Not because he's trying to control my spending or anything, just making sure there's no fraudulent charges. Drives my grandma nuts. She specially keeps a separate bank account from my grandma and a stash of "mad money" on hand because she can't stand him knowing what she's spending. She thinks it's a total control thing and a man should t be able to tell her what to do with HER money. Different generations I guess. 

brittnic86

I guess my UO is low carb diets are awesome lol. But it's not for everyone, and I mean that in the sense that some people have specific health issues that make it so it's good for them...but maybe not for others. For example, I have insulin resistance. I spent years counting calories, eating veggies and whole grains, cutting fat...and I NEVER was able to lose any weight. One week of cutting carbs and I dropped 10 pounds  like it was nothing, AND kept it off even after I slowly introduced carbs back in. I literally have spent 15 years, half my damn life, trying to lose and maintain weight. I would spend HOURS at the gym, and nothing. Cutting carbs has been the ONLY way I've ever been able to lose and maintain that weight loss. You can try to argue differently to me all you want, but I'm telling you, I spent YEARS trying everything under the sun, eating "healthy" meals, and I lost and maintained more weight loss eating eggs, bacon, and cheese than I ever did eating veggies and whole grain toast lol.

EDIT:
Read a book called Why We Get Fat, it'll blow your mind

DiFazette

@l9i some counties/states have zoning laws that if you have one horse or more you qualify as a 'farm/farmette' and can get a huge break in property taxes.  You need to have so much space to do it, but lots of people in the rural areas of my country keep older horses as pets for this reason.  

DiFazette

I don't care how someone else chooses to feed their baby (breast vs formula).  I will assume that the majority of women have researched their options and made a decision that works for them.  Who am I to judge that?  

I have a friend who beat breast cancer and due to surgery, could not BF.  She was given the inquisition by a friendly member of the LLL at a park about it.  Now I'm not dogging on LLL - I plan to attend some of their meetings soon, but you never know someone's backstory.  There could be disease, health issues, abuse, etc.  

tinattt23

@brittnic86 If you actually have something like insulin resistance, I think that's totally different. Anything diagnosed that makes your body different than "typical" would of course require something different than what would work for most people. I think of that more like a medication than diet. So I'll give yours a pass. Cause internet stranger approval is very important.   

brittnic86

@tinattt23 thank GOD, I needed that so bad I know a lot of people think it's unhealthy, but not everyone's bodies work the same. While whole grain toast with PB may have less calories and be "healthier" than say,  2 eggs with cheese, and 2 slices of bacon.....I will be hungry again in a couple of hours if I ate the toast, whereas I'll be good until lunch or later with the eggs and bacon lol.

Also my dad is a diabetic, and his doctor said his life kinda depended on him cutting out carbs. For real though, my OB/GYN had my read a book called Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes, and it was crazy the stuff that doctors have learned regarding carbs and how your body processes them.

Austenista

We could really start a food war here, guys, lets just agree to disagree. Yes? 

Lisa3379

phoenix870509 said:

My UO (and maybe it's not that unpopular) is I tell DH whenever I spend money. Not because he is controlling but because he handles the finances and we're in this as a team. Gotta make sure the bills are paid before I can spend $20 on crafting supplies, and he'd know more than I would if the money is there. 

I'm probably going to have to start doing this once I go on leave, and I'm interested to see how that's going to go. I won't be making any money during leave at all, so I guess he'll have to give me his credit card to buy things. Currently, I do all the grocery shopping, Target shopping, etc, as well as shopping for myself of course. I wonder what I'll disclose to him. Should I tell him every time I want to buy clothes, like do I ask for his permission? That will be weird, but understandable I suppose. 

brittnic86

@phoenix870509 Opposite for me. I'm the one who pays all the bills, so I tell DH how much money he can spend lol.

ashleaf2018

As far as the money goes, I'll be a SAHM and FI is the only one working. I'll be bringing in an income sort of because I have more scholarships than what my tuition/books cost. I already know what I'm getting back, what FI is getting back, and we factor in a low estimate of what FI brings home every week. All our money goes into a savings account, and once a month we move over a set amount to our checking that has been budgeted to the last dollar with an extra $50-75 for small emergencies. We don't get that refund til September sometime so that's when all that will start.

 As of now, I tell FI whenever I have something coming up that we will need to budget for. For example, I am in desperate need of a new bra, so we have budgeted for me to get one when he gets paid this weekend. But groceries, gas, and any other bills take priority, especially since I've been doing pretty well with just a support tank when I leave the house, which is usually only to go to school or go grocery shopping. It's all about prioritizing and communicating. 

slartybartfast

Ooo sounds like I'll actually be unpopular with this one - our spending doesn't depend on bills. We're total tight wads and if we need it, we get it. If we don't, we don't. If we want something extraneous, we wait til Christmas or a birthday. Surplus money all goes into paying off the house, retirement, or savings that are just waiting to be drained by childcare costs. However if there is something extra one of us wants, we definitely tell the other. Even if it's like... a pair of shoes from ebay.

allicat89

l9i  I am completely with you. I live on a farm, and in our area, all the work that can be done with a horse can be done easier and safer with an ATV. Most of the cattle farmers around here haven't used horses for decades. Horses are also harder to keep on pasture than a lot of other livestock. When we drive around, DH and I play a game called "Guess which pastures have horses." Without fail, the scraggliest, most rutted, most weed filled pastures always have horses rather than goats or cattle or sheep. 

Now, I do know a lot of horse people who are wonderful to their horses, and their horses clearly enrich their lives. I think that is great, and those are the people who should own horses. As for me? I get all the companionship I need from my dog and my goats who can't crush me to death if they're having a bad day. 

Lisa3379 , I agree with you 100% about the pool. I grew up with a pool and swore I would never have one as an adult. Well, the house we bought has a pool, so I told DH that we could only buy the house if he agreed to do the pool maintenance. He agreed and then promptly forgot his promise so now I take care of the pool exclusively. It is every bit of the nightmare that I feared it would be. I have spent the last month trying to get a massive algae infestation under control because the direct sunlight and hot weather have messed up our pool temp and chemical ratios. There is no pool store in our county so I have to drive an hour one way to get the chemicals I need and get my pool water tested. Get a pool membership, make a friend with a pool, or find a nearby river to splash in. Don't bother with your own pool. 

Lisa3379

@allicat89 ugh, what a pain! We're going through a similar thing with our hot tub, so I know what you're going through, albeit on a smaller scale! We have no idea why mold is growing under our cover, and we've drained it to start over a couple times, tried different chemicals... so frustrating. 

phoenix870509

@brittnic86 I pay the bills because I remember the passwords , but he's the one who budgets it all out. I just let him know how much and he does his thing. Some people have told me he's controlling me by controlling the money. But he doesn't tell me what I can or cannot buy. I simply ask him, Hey, is it in the budget to get this? If it's something I/we need, we make it work. If it's something that can wait, he budgets it out. I needed clothes for my business trip so we talked and he did his wizardry and it worked out. If I needed new shoes he would have made that work, too. But I wouldn't have just bought a pair of shoes and told him after the fact, I would have let him know beforehand I needed them. Then he'd figure out a way to get them for me. We're in this together, so yeah we're going to discuss finances and make sure we're both on the same page. How is that controlling?

@Lisa3379 I wouldn't call it "asking permission". I'd call it checking the budget. I never ask my husband permission to buy anything, but I do ask him if it's in the budget to buy something.

sourlemon

I also handle the finances in my house. DH and I make about the same so it's not a control thing,  he just hasn't had time to keep up with it while doing his masters. But I have biweekly briefings for him so he at least knows the basics. 

My uo or up (unpopular practice): I like having separate saving accounts for separate things. I have a home repair, emergency, travel, new car, and baby accounts that all have goal amounts set up for them. That does not include college or retirement plans. DH hates the idea of them but loves it when we have enough "travel" money for a vacation or enough "home repair" money for a bathroom remodel. If I didn't do this,  I'd be tempted to not travel or not improve things because I'd be in the "it all has to go towards mortgage, college, or retirement" mindset. Nothing wrong with that,  but I'd probably take it to extremes and we'd never "live a little".