I have a question about the board...

leslieknope

Yeah, I wasn't saying people left because of BMBs. My BMB comment was a separate thought should have been on a separate line. 

I just watched over-regulation turn people off and push them to a new board. Rules for the sake of rules. A general environment of unwelcomeness if you didn't agree with the admins. 

ETA: of course, banning the mods was the final straw, but it was a long time coming leading up to that.

pinkshades05

I just want to comment that I went through a thread earlier (2-3 pages) where several people asked questions and by the time I got to the end the topic completely changed and it felt silly to answer a random question from two pages prior. I also forget usernames by the time I get to page 3 so I can't tag them in it (I'm on the app). I know, I'm useless.

So I can see how people might feel not getting answered but also it can be a pain in the rear to answer in long conversations.

mamabear2015

I've read just about every thread on this board and I've never seen anyone jumped on for posting. As others have stated, the mess that happens when there's no organization is definitely not conducive to community.  And honestly, we don't need a zillion people being like 'Has anyone else had this symptom?' And that's what it becomes. There's NO issue with people posting threads that aren't otherwise covered. But when you have even just like 15 people posting questions they'd get quicker responses from Google for, the real community building gets lost and bumped down. Obviously no system is PERFECT but at least this way people can easily track down the topic they're looking for, see what others have been saying, and ask questing within that thread. It's not rocket science. It's not mean. It's just function. 

mrsstuessy

I sort of want to ignore this thread, because my life already has enough stress. I was decently active on the TTGP board since the end of January and I did like the way things are done there quite a bit. That being said, when I was here on the Oct 2013 board way back in the day we had a ton of fun and we definitely didn't have all the regulations. I really, really enjoyed that board. So, with that also being said, I am not against the rules on this board. It is not necessarily bad, but very different. Everyone can agree drive by and dear diaries are annoying. I think it does take some time to feel comfortable and familiar with a group of people on the internet, and I feel like we might get there if we give it more time. I was on the O13 board for over a year and have only been here for a couple weeks.

But, I do think people need to feel like they can start a thread if it seems like the members of this group would profit from it. No one is telling you you can't. Go ahead. Someone started a teachers thread today and a cloth diaper thread. That is good and can and should be done more. 

clover28

I think what @mrsstuessy said sums up what most of us are thinking.  Start your own threads if the general community would benefit.  Before starting threads, ask yourself if a Google search would be more beneficial or if you are really wanting to start a discussion with the group.  However, if you come in and start your own thread announcing your nausea, prepare to be flamed because you are no more special than anyone else discussing their nausea in the symptoms thread.  Personally, I love new interesting threads other than the daily threads that are conducive to conversation but special snowflake threads make me really stabby.  

BTW, I've been searching this board and haven't seen once instance of someone telling another person they can't start their own thread.  

Breesy14

pinkshades05 said:

I just want to comment that I went through a thread earlier (2-3 pages) where several people asked questions and by the time I got to the end the topic completely changed and it felt silly to answer a random question from two pages prior. I also forget usernames by the time I get to page 3 so I can't tag them in it (I'm on the app). I know, I'm useless.

So I can see how people might feel not getting answered but also it can be a pain in the rear to answer in long conversations.

Haha, I feel like this too.  But I also agree with this:

JaneArson said:

Here's what I'm thinking and please please correct me if I'm wrong as I try to sum this up.  I think it turns out that we all agree more than we disagree - specifically that dear diary posts are annoying as @clover28
pointed out.  Some people (including me) feel kind of overwhelmed by the number of weekly threads and check ins that there currently are on the board.  Like @stm2017 pointed out, I can't read them all, and I feel like I might be missing some important specific stuff in there that would be nice if it was in a separate question thread.  I am NOT saying that there shouldn't be weekly threads - we all need a FFFC and some of us need things like AMA check ins, etc.  It just seems like that's the entire board at the moment.  I'm hoping for more of a mix soon, but I'm worried that won't happen because there seems to be confusion about what is "ok" to post and what is not - and that we'll lose people who don't feel welcome.

It's kind of hard to say, at this point, that we'll only respond to questions from people who we recognize when this BMB is so new.  We're going to get plenty of new people throughout the coming months, and of course they should be told to check out old threads if needed.  However, those threads to point them to aren't going to exist if everything is a weekly or checkin.  

One thing that seems to be coloring this conversation in general is that anyone who is a bump veteran has an idea of what a BMB should look like.  I think we have to remember that it's going to take some time, and some hard conversations like this to figure it out. 

I started reading this thread with the usual rebellious you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do-or-how-to-internet attitude that I tend to approach most of life with.  I finished with a new understanding and respect for the way the board is being organized.  My March 14 bmb died HARD about 9 months after the babies were out.  It really did become a place full of strangers and not very well thought out questions.  I'm up for trying out this way of organizing it. 

I have seen some responses that were maybe not meant to be rude, but could be read that way.  Grain of salt and all that though.  I'm really hoping the board picks up and more people post some more specific posts that we can all contribute to.  I would love to see a thread like the one someone mentioned about helpful tips for getting through the nausea.  If anyone does post a thread that could be part of another thread, it will likely just die out since the other threads are bumped so much more often.  If it takes off instead, then so be it - the unexpected is what makes communities like this come together and helps us really GTK each other.

allybadry

So I was originally on August '15 with my first pregnancy. I think that was one of the boards with the biggest implosions last year so I feel that I can speak with some experience as to why we need the structure at least in these very early days. First of all, there are a lot of April mom's who don't even know they are pregnant yet so we are going to get tons of newbies in the next few days. I got my BFP on Saturday and have only just made my appearance today. In the beginning,especially, everyone is very eager and some will post a new thread for every though that crosses their head. I remember one day specifically from Aug'15 where we had so many posts about 'can I eat mayo' and 'my bf/mil/sister/etc is a total jerk' that we missed a loss post at 25 or 26 weeks. Any loss is terrible but at 6 months you generally think you're in the clear. The poor girl was devastated and just needed some consoling from this community she had come to depend on and it got lost in a bunch of none sense. Organizing the threads into topics means that we can see more with a quick glance. 

I work full-time and have a 1 year old so my life is really busy and responding/ reading through a million threads is difficult at times, but if you pick a few to follow on the regular (your ticker change, fitness check-in etc) it does help. You may not become best friends with everyone on the board, but participating in a few threads regularly will help you establish relationships and credibility.

leslieknope

I'm happy to kumbaya and stick to the script as long as you guys promise to not get mad when I start a Gilmore girls thread in November. Even if it's just me talking to myself because apparently I'm 16 and beyond excited for the new episodes.   

You guys can't get rid of me that easily. 

allybadry

@leslieknope I'll totally be there with you watching Gilmore Girls... I've already started rewatching the original series

mrsstuessy

I will be #teamleslieknope when it comes to a Gilmore Girls thread. My SIL and I are trying to pick out our GG shirts for the viewing party. It is so hard to choose!

bwo

I just wanted to say I'm finally caught up on this thread and even though I didn't have the energy today to participate in the discussion, I really appreciated hearing all the different viewpoints and rationales. It looks like most everyone is on the same page now for the most part--- feel free to post a thread if it encourages community and conversation, and isn't just purely attention-seeking. Participate in the threads you can. I think it's a good sign that everyone seems invested in the future of this board.