OCT 16 Mom's RAOK- Thoughts?

Sprinkels28

Hi All---

Reading through all of our posts I see that we are ALL dealing with a lot right now. I had an idea that might bring some smiles in our last few weeks of pregnancy. 
How do you feel about participating in a RAOK (Random Act of Kindness) with a fellow Oct 16 Mama?  In the past I have used elfster.com to assign random buddies and you can also ask questions to your buddy anonymously through the site.

Essentially, we would have a sign up list ,requirements, <no newbs>,  a price guideline, and a deadline.  The point of a RAOK is to get to know your assigned bumpie and do something nice for them--whether it be a gift off their registry, or just a gift for them based on their likes, interests, etc.  

Let me know your thoughts! They are a lot of fun and typically in other forums I have participated in we had a big reveal thread where we posted pics and who are RAOK bumpie buddy was  

Kaessi

I like it

JennJenn81713

I like it, too.  I love doing nice things for other people.

LGW2015

Love it!

westcoastfoodie

Cute idea!

krzyriver

I'm horrible at RAOK (and Secret Santa) so I probably shouldn't participate. But I love this idea, you guys should definitely do it. 

kmtz89

I would be a super challenging person to mail things to BUT if someone was up for the challenge I bet I could send an awesome gift from here 

annabenanna

I'm in!  I love this kind of stuff!

ibabyloveb87

I love the idea but not sure I could keep up at the moment! 

F47

I'm a terrible gift giver, so this would just add to my anxiety. But, it's a great idea for those who want to do it!

emmaaa

I think it's a sweet idea!

blaf322

kmolleltz said:

I would be a super challenging person to mail things to BUT if someone was up for the challenge I bet I could send an awesome gift from here 

yes you would @kmolleltz! A while back when you mentioned that you were going to try some of the home remedies for heartburn that I posted because you either weren't able to or had a hard time getting meds for it. I mentioned it to DH and he actually suggested getting some for you and shipping it to you as a gift if you wanted (he's really good at RAOK). Anyway, I looked it up before mentioning it to you and it was going to cost an arm and a leg.... so I never told you about it. I guess A for effort?

ETA- we were also going to do that with those play mats that went on sale for super cheap on Amazon. DH ordered a bunch to resell if it ended up working (which it didn't). I wasn't sure if you could get them in Tanzania so we were going to offer to give you one (since they were so cheap). But, again, that cost SO much to ship that I never mentioned lol Fail.

kelliott09

@bnsmith85 That's so thoughtful! You definitely (and your hubs) get an A for effort. 

nlane0723

We've done this several times in my other BMB. I'm in.

waterfall213

Love this idea!

ashleyp625

I like it. 

Eta: as long as someone super random isn't getting my address....

CopperBoom86

I love the idea, but I'm a terrible gift-giver and I've already got way too much on my plate right now.

mothernorth

I love the concept, but don't know how realistic it would be for me to participate... I'll probably have to keep my RAOKs to whomever orders food behind me in the drive-thru. 

blaf322

CopperBoom86 said:

I love the idea, but I'm a terrible gift-giver and I've already got way too much on my plate right now.

This... so I'm out for this round but would be happy to participate once things settle down for us, financially especially.

AshleyGemini24

I love the idea, but I'm horrible at gift giving, especially in secret santa style. I would not be a good candidate for rhis activity. 

sjo_thetwins

My biggest concern would be someone I don't feel comfortable with having my address. Am I the only one? I love doing kind things for people though!! 

blaf322

@sjo_thetwins- agreed. I figure waiting a while will help with that situation 

ashleyp625

sjo_thetwins said:

My biggest concern would be someone I don't feel comfortable with having my address. Am I the only one? I love doing kind things for people though!! 

Not the only one. Especially after more lurkers have come out of the woodwork this week. 

mrszoess

same. I have a lot of stranger danger this week 

nlane0723

We did ours after the FB group was created, if that helps. I had mine went to work. Haha.

lovelybabybumpz

ashleyp625 said:

sjo_thetwins said:

My biggest concern would be someone I don't feel comfortable with having my address. Am I the only one? I love doing kind things for people though!! 

Not the only one. Especially after more lurkers have come out of the woodwork this week. 

Lols. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. On one hand you're encouraging people to "get to know us ladies better on the boards" re: the FB group. On the other, when people actually do participate...  
Edited to keep on topic- I would probably be one of those stranger danger lurkers, so while I love the idea, I'm understandably unfortunately out!

ashleyp625

chriscasey33 said:

ashleyp625 said:

sjo_thetwins said:

My biggest concern would be someone I don't feel comfortable with having my address. Am I the only one? I love doing kind things for people though!! 

Not the only one. Especially after more lurkers have come out of the woodwork this week. 

Lols. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. On one hand you're encouraging people to "get to know us ladies better on the boards" re: the FB group. On the other, when people actually do participate...  
Edited to keep on topic- I would probably be one of those stranger danger lurkers, so while I love the idea, I'm understandably unfortunately out!

Nah, I recognize your name. I wasn't trying to start anything, but IMO, my address is much more private to me than my super locked-down FB account, which is why I haven't really participated too much in that discussion. Just don't think a person with like, 2 total posts needs my home address. 

Eta: that being said, I'm still friends with a bunch of people from my wedding month board on the knot 5 years later, and we send gifts and Christmas cards back and forth all the time. So obviously I think it works, but there are about 15 of us, as opposed to somewhere in the 100's here, maybe. 

lovelybabybumpz

@ashleyp625 I actually agree with the privacy concerns. And I wasn't taking anything personally. While I've followed all the threads and this board since I got my BFP, I don't participate a lot and definitely don't consider myself a regular.  I'm just sitting over here bemused/amused by the situation and predicament. 

TurtleMomma

I'm on the fence. I want to participate but I'm pinching pennies to save up for maternity leave. 

mrskratt

I love the idea and would be interested in future ones! But my current "to do list" feels like it's 7 billion miles long 

blaf322

chriscasey33 said:

@ashleyp625 I actually agree with the privacy concerns. And I wasn't taking anything personally. While I've followed all the threads and this board since I got my BFP, I don't participate a lot and definitely don't consider myself a regular.  I'm just sitting over here bemused/amused by the situation and predicament. 

I'm glad you're not taking anything personally because it's definitely not. But I don't really understand your bemusement. If you've been lurking since the beginning, then you know that we've had MONTHS with very minimal new folks coming on board. Then, a FB group is mentioned and all of a sudden, newbs are coming out of the woodworks in droves claiming to have been here from the beginning and wanting to join the FB group or get involved with more personal things like address sharing. 
Although I'm sure some are ABSOLUTELY being honest, I'd hope you could understand why folks are wary of inclusion, for those folks, in activities that involve our personal information. 
That doesn't mean we don't want participation on TB. We're just looking for participation in a way that some of us who call ourselves regulars have been doing for many many months (giving support/being supported). 
I wholeheartedly believe there isn't anything about that situation that is bemusing. We are protecting ourselves and TBH, those that post constantly about how they feel left out, almost as if to make others feel bad, pull up even more red flags for me for a number of reasons.

Sprinkels28

Ok Ladies--- thanks for all of your input! I feel like this may be better down the road when we all don't have a million things to do and get a bit more comfortable with one another!

krzyriver

Since people are concerned about privacy and overwhelmed with the babies coming, maybe we could do a RAOK for our babies' first birthdays? That gives us another year to weed out the crazies and we won't have showers/nurseries/births to deal with. Just a suggestion...

lovelybabybumpz

@bnsmith85  I'm not belittling anyone's concerns. Perhaps I identify with people who, like myself, might think "hey they're right. Maybe I should be participating more." Because following along for so long you feel involved, but being more of a lurker wallflower, you don't realize that it's a one way relationship until it's called out. And then they may make
more of an effort. 
But i also tend to be an eternal optimist and my default is to see the best in people, so I would probably be the first victim of stranger danger with my lack of self-preservation skills. 

kmtz89

@bnsmith85 awww a+ and high fives for effort. You're super sweet. 

LGW2015

@krzyriver I love that idea!

JennJenn81713

chriscasey33 said:

@bnsmith85  I'm not belittling anyone's concerns. Perhaps I identify with people who, like myself, might think "hey they're right. Maybe I should be participating more." Because following along for so long you feel involved, but being more of a lurker wallflower, you don't realize that it's a one way relationship until it's called out. And then they may make
more of an effort. 
But i also tend to be an eternal optimist and my default is to see the best in people, so I would probably be the first victim of stranger danger with my lack of self-preservation skills. 

^^^^^^^ This is totally me.  I'm kind of a wallflower in real life and put a lot of myself into dog rescue, probably because most of the time I'd rather deal with them than humans.  So while I feel like I'm involved on this board, I do realize that to everybody else, I'd probably be considered a lurker.  I'm a much better listener than a speaker, but y'all can't "see" how much I'm listening.  

westcoastfoodie

bnsmith85 said:

chriscasey33 said:

@ashleyp625 I actually agree with the privacy concerns. And I wasn't taking anything personally. While I've followed all the threads and this board since I got my BFP, I don't participate a lot and definitely don't consider myself a regular.  I'm just sitting over here bemused/amused by the situation and predicament. 

I'm glad you're not taking anything personally because it's definitely not. But I don't really understand your bemusement. If you've been lurking since the beginning, then you know that we've had MONTHS with very minimal new folks coming on board. Then, a FB group is mentioned and all of a sudden, newbs are coming out of the woodworks in droves claiming to have been here from the beginning and wanting to join the FB group or get involved with more personal things like address sharing. 
Although I'm sure some are ABSOLUTELY being honest, I'd hope you could understand why folks are wary of inclusion, for those folks, in activities that involve our personal information. 
That doesn't mean we don't want participation on TB. We're just looking for participation in a way that some of us who call ourselves regulars have been doing for many many months (giving support/being supported). 
I wholeheartedly believe there isn't anything about that situation that is bemusing. We are protecting ourselves and TBH, those that post constantly about how they feel left out, almost as if to make others feel bad, pull up even more red flags for me for a number of reasons.

THIS. So much this. 

mrszoess

while I appreciate people lurking and following along with our stories, it's also not fair to everyone who shares to give to these lurkers who never give any support or insight. I understand being shy in real life but here you don't even have to initiate a convo and jumping in isn't considered rude or interrupting. 

coffee89

We do elfster with my old BMB for Christmas and babies birthdays and it works out pretty well. It's just with people that made the migration over to FB after the babies were born so it works out with privacy and such.

jbal918

@krzyriver I totally agree with you! I've been on a FB group for a bunch of girls from the bump for over 2 years and now we do a Elfster switch every holiday season and even sent a gift to a girl who was in the midst of a divorce. We weeded the crazies out in the beginning lol... We also have a group of us on a separate page for pregnancy since not everyone was having kids at the time or wanted them and it's only girls from the original group.