@krzyriver I'm with @bnsmith85 on this one. You're nicer than I am! I went to visit my aunt and her gf for a bbq, and they were smoking outside, and I moved because wind was blowing it my way, then at one point one of them was sitting beside me and I told them to move.
@bnsmith85 No way! If I host, I can't leave when I'm done with her. Lol. That sounds bad. But honestly, when we go there I can just squeeze my husband's leg when I can't take her bashing my niece anymore and we get up and go. We were there for maybe 20 minutes.
@amye102485 I used to be a smoker, but I could never stand that lingering smell that penetrates everything and I never smoked in my house. Nasty!
@LauraPCOS Good for you! Someone was smoking near me the other day and I moved away from them even tho I was there first. I should've spoken up. It's definitely obvious I'm pregnant.
I have a very short time left to put my syllabi together... and to clear out my living room which is full of boxes. We haven't even started painting the baby's room yet. Oh and today I found out I had gestational diabetes so I spent the day trying to figure out how to get my glucose meter and reading up on diet and grocery shopping instead of working on the house or my syllabi.
My mom and I kind of both agreed that we wouldn't tell our family about the move (her to a new house and me to her old house) because we both don't like to jinx things by talking about them before they are final. Well yesterday we drove down to MD for my SIL's baby shower and my grandmother, aunt and cousin had made the trip from CT. While we were talking my aunt asked my mom how the move was coming, I kind of looked quickly over to her but didn't say anything. Then my grandmother asked me if I was excited about getting the house.
Fast forward to the drive home, my mom looked at me and said 'ok who let the cat out of the bag?' And I instantly knew what she meant and I said 'not me!'. But she didn't either. We finally figured out it was my 26 year old sister who told the whole family!!
This pisses me off for a number of reasons: 1. It wasn't her news to share 2. We have gone an entire year without saying anything and we are one month away from closing and now everyone knows 3. I'm sure everyone was pissed because we didn't tell them and 4. IT WASNT ABOUT HER! None of this has anything to do with her. She is actually 1 of the 2 (out of 6) siblings this move doesn't affect (3 of my siblings still live with my mom so are moving too, I'm moving into the old house).
Her constant need to be the center of things drives me crazy!
Well, it has taken me all day to turn into a raging bitch but alas- here I am. I'm going to bitch about FI always bitching... I get that he's tired when he gets home, it's miserably hot outside, he's exhausted and doesn't feel good, I can respect that. But WHY must it always be taken out on me?? Always something sideways or negative to be said, then I get upset or defensive and he asks ME why I'M getting an attitude and tries to pull the "Whoa, I just got home, what's YOUR deal?" thing... don't come home being a d-bag! Do you really not notice what a butthole you're being, or are you just baiting the drama hook until you catch something to go off about? Grrr!
@KenderTas06 my first day back to school is this Wed. I'm not sure how to feel about it, and I haven't talked maternity leave with the supervisor yet - I think I should talk to the union first ...
My mom is throwing my baby shower. My best friend who is also pregnant and always strapped for cash is cohosting. My best friend lives two hours away so she can't contrubute as much as she'd like. My mother has bougbt several things for Peanut and for the shower. then she decides to bitch about all the things she has bought and how she is on a fixed income. All because i told her that my in laws were planning on buying somethings too but my mom bought it before they had a chance. now she's holding the shower and gifts over my head.
@mommabear444 I haven't discussed maternity leave with my principal/ HR yet. I called to get my FMLA paperwork but that's it. The only thing we (principal and I) talked about was arranging a sub and having plans for while I'm out. I'm talking to our union person about plans (I teach a special program and we get our units monthly so I can't access Octobers until 2 weeks before at the earliest) since it would require me to work while out on leave.
But good luck going back and I hope you have a wonderful stress free beginning of the year.
@bnsmith85 I know, I really need to....it's just getting there that makes it more difficult. Not that it's terribly far but I just have to make time to do it and I'm being lazy Haha
@von1976 - Did the granite get installed? We had ours scheduled for a few days before Thanksgiving and the guys showed up late and the biggest piece ended up being cracked down the middle. The manager tried to tell me it would be a week before they could get a matching piece. I was like, umm Thanksgiving is in 4 days...it will be fixed before then. I had no working kitchen. But now it's done and I'm in love. We'll also likely be moving in a year, but I refuse to spend the money on something like that and not get to enjoy it. Fixing holes would not be fun though...our place came out and used laser levels and some program to measure everything since walls are usually not straight and then cut the granite perfectly.
@AllyTheKid - I TOTALLY get you! DH is an engineer in a shipyard, working in the crazy heat, overseeing a crew of lazy workers and they have a unit due to ship in 2 weeks. They've all been working 12 hour days (starting at 5am, meaning he gets up at 3:30am. He usually doesn't get home until 6:30pm. AND he's worked the past three weekends. So he's had no breaks. I get he's exhausted. I get that he "has no choice". But I'm so sick of him being so grouchy. I probably would be too, but he has no one else to take it out on. We were going to our birthing class yesterday and got into a disagreement and he seriously tried to take the car keys from me and "leave". Ridiculous! So, I feel your pain. I'm sorry he's taking it out on you. I know it's worse for you - being pregnant and stuck at home without his help and two other kids. Hopefully he gets a break soon and the weather gets better so everyone can be in a better mood.
Me: 31
DH: 32
Married: Sep 2012
TTC #1: Jan 2015 Baby A (via IUI due to MFI): Sep 2016 born at 35+6
Surprise but very welcome + on 5/16/2019, EDD 1/25/2020
@MorganL925 I'm sorry that you can relate, but it's nice to have somebody get it! I feel bad for complaining because I totally understand WHY he is so stressed out, but really man, must it always ruin your day? Here's to hoping cooler autumn climates being us both and our gentlemen some relief!
@AllyTheKid I totally feel you on that - my husband will do the same thing. Some days he's just miserable from work so he comes home and takes his frustrations out on me. Usually, I can get him to talk about it, and we talk through it, so he's feeling better and I'm not upset he's being an asshat - but sometimes he just is and there's no getting around it! But then when I have a bad day and act a little crabby (like when you're hugely pregnant, tired, hot, can't get comfortable and had a crap day at work) I'm supposed to put on a smile and act like all is well - otherwise I'm being a b*tch. Why isn't it a two-way street??
I get that we tend to take out our frustration on those closest to us - because at the heart of it all, we know they love us the most and ultimately aren't going to up and leave us because of our poor attitude - but sometimes it's just too much!! Especially when you're pregnant! Hang in there - in my experience my husband usually comes around and sees the error of his ways and apologizes. Maybe a little silent treatment until he apologizes?
@AllyTheKid I feel your pain as well. DH has been working long hours in the heat all summer and I get that he's tired and frustrated, but he comes home and takes it out on me and DD. He has been a huge grump all summer and he finally apologized for it last week. I've tried not to bug him too much with baby stuff, because I know that he already has a lot on his plate, but I feel like I'm running out of time and patience. I hope things get better for you! *creepy internet hugs*
@LMNOBaby@ball4768 Sorry you guys are getting the poo end of the frustration stick too but it's nice to commiserate! I was starting to wonder if I was in the wrong for letting it get to me. I try really hard not to, and to keep a positive perspective but it gets hard, especially when it seems like your efforts to be optimistic are also annoying him. What are we even supposed to do or say?
Well, it has taken me all day to turn into a raging bitch but alas- here I am. I'm going to bitch about FI always bitching... I get that he's tired when he gets home, it's miserably hot outside, he's exhausted and doesn't feel good, I can respect that. But WHY must it always be taken out on me?? Always something sideways or negative to be said, then I get upset or defensive and he asks ME why I'M getting an attitude and tries to pull the "Whoa, I just got home, what's YOUR deal?" thing... don't come home being a d-bag! Do you really not notice what a butthole you're being, or are you just baiting the drama hook until you catch something to go off about? Grrr!
@AllyTheKid Ugh, I'm sorry - I hope today is better! I can also relate, unfortunately. I spent all last Saturday cleaning the house while my H was at work. Like 6 hours straight of thorough cleaning & was exhausted when he got home. When he comes home, he says not one thing about the clean house, but immediately starts bitching because I moved something he left on the counter (that's been there for over a month). Hormones kicked in and the rage came out. Was not pretty.
@Kaessi Sounds like my Friday. Spent the day deep cleaning, he was in a bad mood when I picked him up from work, I was few minutes late because I lost track of time while cleaning so he blows up on me about not ever doing anything, not remembering anything, always doing something wrong, etc. and has me in tears, then walks into his immaculate home. I should have rubbed it in his face, but I just left to get pizza and cool off instead. He finally apologized Sunday.
A few minutes ago he sent me some half assed apology-esque message saying he's not mad or anything, just tired. =/ I am so ready for school to start. It'll get me out of the house, he won't have to work as much because my grant money will come in, and we'll both get some form of a break. I really hope that helps.
@AllyTheKid@LMNOBaby@Kaessi Hang in there mamas. It will get better eventually! I think guys go through their own sort of freak-out about pregnancy, even the BTDT dads. I'm just grateful for this community where we can support each other when our guys are being jerkfaces!
@AllyTheKid I was beginning to think you were a saint, hearing about how patient you were with the nursery not being done. I always have a mental checklist, so I get stressed when things aren't getting checked off it. Patience is not my strength
A few months back DH was complaining about his job ALL the time and coming home and being a grump face in general. I told him I was sorry, but I could only handle so much of his whining before I could no longer be sympathetic. I also told him to do something productive about it, and take action, so he could feel like he was taking control of the situation. He applied for jobs, saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and started a new job that makes him happier. I know not all problems can be fixed by changing jobs, but taking control, and making positive steps in teh right direction was the big factor.
@AllyTheKid@LMNOBaby@Kaessi Hang in there mamas. It will get better eventually! I think guys go through their own sort of freak-out about pregnancy, even the BTDT dads. I'm just grateful for this community where we can support each other when our guys are being jerkfaces!
@MorganL925 Yes, the granite was installed last night! They are here today hooking up the sink, garbage disposal, and dishwasher. So I will have a fully working kitchen today!! I guess they just cut the granite straight and found out the walls weren't square, which isn't surprising. But after caulking, you really can't tell that they had to cut the walls to set the granite into it. So no big deal.
@chriscasey33 I have learned over the years that we do not see eye to eye when it comes to handling stress. So I step back when he's going through one of his phases. I have a very long fuse, but he really is nearing the end of it. I am just laying low until I figure out the most diplomatic way to confront it without us both getting set off.
@chriscasey33 I have learned over the years that we do not see eye to eye when it comes to handling stress. So I step back when he's going through one of his phases. I have a very long fuse, but he really is nearing the end of it. I am just laying low until I figure out the most diplomatic way to confront it without us both getting set off.
It's awesome that you recognize that balance. I need to work on lengthening my fuse, but you're right that at some point, something's got to give! Good luck. I'm sure you guys will figure it out
@AllyTheKid My husband is usually really good about not dumping his crap on me, but he definitely has days where it just spills out. Usually instead of taking it out on me though, he'll just shut down and stare at his phone until it's time to go to bed, which can be hurtful since I'm pretty lonely all day and want to talk to him him when he comes home. It's probably better than being yelled at though.
@chriscasey33 Thank you! It actually took me a long time to accept and come to terms with the fact that I couldn't make him handle things the way that I do. On the bright side, we really have come a long way from where we were before, regardless of my bitching so I should be grateful for that, right?
@amye102485 Girl, my exH was the shut-down cold-shoulder type, and maybe I'm just masochistic but I'd rather take the confrontation than get blocked out =/ Nothing hurts worse than feeling like you're the last person your partner wants to talk to and I don't miss it. I am guilty of being that way sometimes too though, so there's that. Still perfecting the art of communication, and I've learned from my elders that nobody truly masters it, so I don't feel guilty about it as long as I keep trying!
@AllyTheKid Yeah, it pisses me off when he does that, luckily it's really rare and I always call him out on it. I get that some days he is just flat out exhausted, but I still hate it.
@von1976 that must be sooooo nice to finally have a working kitchen! I'm glad the previous owners did the kitchen remodel before we moved in even though it's not what I would have picked. At least I didn't have to live through the remodel! haha
@von1976 I honestly don't know how you're making it through that. I don't have any patience while pregnant and the workers would probably all quit because they would think I was a crazy b*tch.
@amye102485 It was a royal pain, that's for sure. But it was worth it. I wish I could show you before pictures, but we didn't take them. Our kitchen was awful. We ended up opening the kitchen up into the dining room and adding the bank of cabinets on the left. We have so much counter and cabinet space now!!!
Married 11-11-11 TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year. BFP 02-15-16 with our first IT'S A BOY!!!
I may actually cry when we move out of here, but we would not be able to sell the house with the previous kitchen. It was a builder special from 1986, maple cabinets with a cut-out pass through wall, zero cabinet space, and since all of our crap was on the countertop, no countertop space either. We had blind corner cabinets that went nowhere and were impossible to get into. The 32" cabinets were crumbling and the laminate countertop was water damaged around the sink and had swelled at the joints. It was horrid. I lived with that awful kitchen for four years before we saved up enough to remodel it!
@von1976 I love your kitchen! We're talking about remodeling ours (like your old one, the counter is covered in appliance since none of them fit in our cabinets) and I'm going to show my husband your photo as inspiration.
@ignoscemihi I found my kitchen inspiration photo on Google somewhere--I came across it and saved it on my phone. It also had gray bottom cabinets and white uppers. My architect friend that helped me pick out and design the kitchen tells me that dual tone cabinets (one color on top, another on bottom) is the new "in" thing. This kitchen is going to be bleeding edge! LOL.
Re: Monday Bitchfest 8/8
I had no bf today. I can only complain about bed rest so much before I even start to annoy myself.
@amye102485 I used to be a smoker, but I could never stand that lingering smell that penetrates everything and I never smoked in my house. Nasty!
@LauraPCOS Good for you! Someone was smoking near me the other day and I moved away from them even tho I was there first. I should've spoken up. It's definitely obvious I'm pregnant.
Fast forward to the drive home, my mom looked at me and said 'ok who let the cat out of the bag?' And I instantly knew what she meant and I said 'not me!'. But she didn't either. We finally figured out it was my 26 year old sister who told the whole family!!
This pisses me off for a number of reasons: 1. It wasn't her news to share 2. We have gone an entire year without saying anything and we are one month away from closing and now everyone knows 3. I'm sure everyone was pissed because we didn't tell them and 4. IT WASNT ABOUT HER! None of this has anything to do with her. She is actually 1 of the 2 (out of 6) siblings this move doesn't affect (3 of my siblings still live with my mom so are moving too, I'm moving into the old house).
Her constant need to be the center of things drives me crazy!
I'm going to bitch about FI always bitching... I get that he's tired when he gets home, it's miserably hot outside, he's exhausted and doesn't feel good, I can respect that. But WHY must it always be taken out on me?? Always something sideways or negative to be said, then I get upset or defensive and he asks ME why I'M getting an attitude and tries to pull the "Whoa, I just got home, what's YOUR deal?" thing... don't come home being a d-bag! Do you really not notice what a butthole you're being, or are you just baiting the drama hook until you catch something to go off about? Grrr!
But good luck going back and I hope you have a wonderful stress free beginning of the year.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
@AllyTheKid - I TOTALLY get you! DH is an engineer in a shipyard, working in the crazy heat, overseeing a crew of lazy workers and they have a unit due to ship in 2 weeks. They've all been working 12 hour days (starting at 5am, meaning he gets up at 3:30am. He usually doesn't get home until 6:30pm. AND he's worked the past three weekends. So he's had no breaks. I get he's exhausted. I get that he "has no choice". But I'm so sick of him being so grouchy. I probably would be too, but he has no one else to take it out on. We were going to our birthing class yesterday and got into a disagreement and he seriously tried to take the car keys from me and "leave". Ridiculous! So, I feel your pain. I'm sorry he's taking it out on you. I know it's worse for you - being pregnant and stuck at home without his help and two other kids. Hopefully he gets a break soon and the weather gets better so everyone can be in a better mood.
Baby A (via IUI due to MFI): Sep 2016 born at 35+6
I get that we tend to take out our frustration on those closest to us - because at the heart of it all, we know they love us the most and ultimately aren't going to up and leave us because of our poor attitude - but sometimes it's just too much!! Especially when you're pregnant! Hang in there - in my experience my husband usually comes around and sees the error of his ways and apologizes. Maybe a little silent treatment until he apologizes?
@AllyTheKid Ugh, I'm sorry - I hope today is better! I can also relate, unfortunately. I spent all last Saturday cleaning the house while my H was at work. Like 6 hours straight of thorough cleaning & was exhausted when he got home. When he comes home, he says not one thing about the clean house, but immediately starts bitching because I moved something he left on the counter (that's been there for over a month). Hormones kicked in and the rage came out. Was not pretty.
A few minutes ago he sent me some half assed apology-esque message saying he's not mad or anything, just tired. =/ I am so ready for school to start. It'll get me out of the house, he won't have to work as much because my grant money will come in, and we'll both get some form of a break. I really hope that helps.
A few months back DH was complaining about his job ALL the time and coming home and being a grump face in general. I told him I was sorry, but I could only handle so much of his whining before I could no longer be sympathetic. I also told him to do something productive about it, and take action, so he could feel like he was taking control of the situation. He applied for jobs, saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and started a new job that makes him happier. I know not all problems can be fixed by changing jobs, but taking control, and making positive steps in teh right direction was the big factor.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
@MorganL925 Yes, the granite was installed last night! They are here today hooking up the sink, garbage disposal, and dishwasher. So I will have a fully working kitchen today!! I guess they just cut the granite straight and found out the walls weren't square, which isn't surprising. But after caulking, you really can't tell that they had to cut the walls to set the granite into it. So no big deal.
Baby GIRL born 9/16/201
BFP! EDD 8/1/2019 CP 4w2d
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
@amye102485 Girl, my exH was the shut-down cold-shoulder type, and maybe I'm just masochistic but I'd rather take the confrontation than get blocked out =/ Nothing hurts worse than feeling like you're the last person your partner wants to talk to and I don't miss it. I am guilty of being that way sometimes too though, so there's that. Still perfecting the art of communication, and I've learned from my elders that nobody truly masters it, so I don't feel guilty about it as long as I keep trying!
Baby GIRL born 9/16/201
BFP! EDD 8/1/2019 CP 4w2d
TTC only since Dec 2015. I had some weight to get off. Been working hard in the gym for over a year.
BFP 02-15-16 with our first
IT'S A BOY!!!
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
Baby GIRL born 9/16/201
BFP! EDD 8/1/2019 CP 4w2d
@ignoscemihi I found my kitchen inspiration photo on Google somewhere--I came across it and saved it on my phone. It also had gray bottom cabinets and white uppers. My architect friend that helped me pick out and design the kitchen tells me that dual tone cabinets (one color on top, another on bottom) is the new "in" thing. This kitchen is going to be bleeding edge! LOL.
Baby GIRL born 9/16/201
BFP! EDD 8/1/2019 CP 4w2d