We were planning to go public to our extended families tomorrow after my 12 week appointment. Today, H's little cousin did a FB announcement of a March pregnancy. Are we jerks to still give our moms the "all clear" to spread this news tomorrow? H says no. I'm drama averse and intimidated by his family dynamics, so I have my concerns. We're not doing a FB announcement, so this would just be WOM sharing.
For background, H's mom and little cousin's mom are currently not speaking over an array of ridiculous things, one of which is who "gets" H's grandma's name (which we aren't even interested in). This won't last, they always bicker. I just don't want to touch this with a ten-foot pole, beyond of course congratulating little cousin and chatting baby stuff if she'd like to. She's a nice girl and I'm happy for her, and I hope she doesn't get too much grief based on her age. She got married very young for our area and the family hasn't always been polite about it, sadly.
@Xstatic3333 if you're not making a formal thing and it's just WOM I think it's fine to let them start telling people still. This is seriously like something you won't even remember happening after your babies are born. It's not as big of a deal as you're feeling now.
@Xstatic3333 do either of you feel very strongly about announcing tomorrow vs. in a few days? If not, you could give little cousin a few days to have her "moment" - it's really no skin of your nose to wait, right? But if you/he really wants to start spreading the word, I don't think there's any harm in that, either.
Could you reach out to little cousin privately and tell her first? That way she won't feel like you are a thunder stealer, and can shut down her Mom if need be.
Could you reach out to little cousin privately and tell her first? That way she won't feel like you are a thunder stealer, and can shut down her Mom if need be.
This is what I'd like to do, but H is against it. Little cousin and I have always gotten along just fine. H loves her but is such a protective older cousin that he hasn't handled her young marriage (18) and now pregnancy (20) super well.
We're pretty low-key about announcing and wouldn't mind waiting but honestly, I don't really trust MIL not to be a little bit "thunder-stealy" once we give her the all clear. She's drama prone, though good hearted.
I do want to tell the rest of my extended family ASAP, however. A lot of friends and work acquaintances already know and I'd feel awful if a family member found out through a careless FB comment. H's family is less active on FB so we don't have to necessarily tell both sides at the same time.
Oh well, @PerraSucia is totally right that this won't be a big deal in a few months, so I won't lose sleep over it. Thanks for all your thoughts.
@xstatic3333 I would just rip the bandaid off and start telling people.
If you think she will have a shitfit, I'd push your H to have a heart to heart with her about how your same age kiddos are going to be best friends growing up together. That way it's about the kids and not the pregnancy.
@Xstatic3333 I say go ahead and start telling people - and I would reach out to tell the cousin and play it off breezy by saying "oh I am so excited you are pregnant, I also am due in February. It will be so nice to have a gal to talk baby with!"
Yeah, sounds like a good plan! I'm sure all will be fine. @ohstars I don't think cousin will flip out. I just know some like to have their moment with this stuff and I didn't want to be rude. I do think she'll be happy about a close in age second cousin, though unfortunately they live very far away.
Today I was referring to a top hat as a "hot top" and no one understood what I meant. I got SO frustrated because I 100% believed I was using the correct term. Guess there are more important things taking up my brainpower lately
Today I was referring to a top hat as a "hot top" and no one understood what I meant. I got SO frustrated because I 100% believed I was using the correct term. Guess there are more important things taking up my brainpower lately
Keep in mind I'm overtired, but I literally LOLd so hard at this!!!
@Xstatic3333 I agree with PPs maybe giving a heads up to your cousin but otherwise go ahead and spread the news. Personally I don't feel like there is such a thing as thunder stealing with babies. Babies are wonderful news!
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@mjsommer I'd love to hear what you didn't care for using other bottle tops. That's one of the things I really liked about it. Both kids before preferred tommee tippee but their pump and go set is a lot more expensive. The bag issue and serving sizes isn't a big deal for me. Until we figure out how much baby typically takes per session I usually freeze in 2 and 3 oz increments. It takes more bags but that's true regardless of what bags I'm using. I'm with you on bottle warmers. We've had two kids and never owned one nor have we missed it.
started led quoting and got stuck
Sorry this is late I'm mobile and don't get notifications. My baby never took a bottle Nd we had to buy so many kinds of bottles and tops and attachments it was honestly such a pain to find the right attachment to the right nipple. If I could have a redo I wouldn't buy the set until I knew he took the kiinde nipples then it would have been much easier. But the. The bag issue and they are so expensive. I pumped say 5 oz each side and I pumped 3x at work that was a ton of bags each day and yes that did change over time but in the beginning it was a lot. transferring into those bags I spilled a few times that was sad. I liked pumping into bottles and then transferring bc the bottle gives you some stability once you are done you can detach from the pump set it down and get all fixed up before having to close the bottles or transfer milk. With the bag I would be breast out getting the cap and holding the other pump with bag still on lol.
Holy cow, I'm gone for one weekend and I missed 6 pages worth of stuff!! After fishing through all of it, I've concluded that this board is definitely the best.
Re: Weekly Randoms (7/18)
For background, H's mom and little cousin's mom are currently not speaking over an array of ridiculous things, one of which is who "gets" H's grandma's name (which we aren't even interested in). This won't last, they always bicker. I just don't want to touch this with a ten-foot pole, beyond of course congratulating little cousin and chatting baby stuff if she'd like to. She's a nice girl and I'm happy for her, and I hope she doesn't get too much grief based on her age. She got married very young for our area and the family hasn't always been polite about it, sadly.
That way she won't feel like you are a thunder stealer, and can shut down her Mom if need be.
We're pretty low-key about announcing and wouldn't mind waiting but honestly, I don't really trust MIL not to be a little bit "thunder-stealy" once we give her the all clear. She's drama prone, though good hearted.
I do want to tell the rest of my extended family ASAP, however. A lot of friends and work acquaintances already know and I'd feel awful if a family member found out through a careless FB comment. H's family is less active on FB so we don't have to necessarily tell both sides at the same time.
Oh well, @PerraSucia is totally right that this won't be a big deal in a few months, so I won't lose sleep over it. Thanks for all your thoughts.
If you think she will have a shitfit, I'd push your H to have a heart to heart with her about how your same age kiddos are going to be best friends growing up together. That way it's about the kids and not the pregnancy.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!