I don't know if this is a UO or an FFC or what, but... I am leaving my job before baby comes to stay home with LO for his first year or so. My current job is very inflexible, and does not pay enough to justify the cost of child care so my plan is to quit and then find a better job once LO is at the crawling stage (I will feel much more comfortable with day care at that point).
My complaint here is that I'm getting really sick of people dwelling on the career aspect of all this now. Like, we have our first child coming and it's really exciting. It's a beautiful thing! This is NOT the time to ask me if I'm worried about what a one-year resume gap will do to my career, suggest I take some courses during my "time off," remind me that I better get back to work to pay into my Social Security (LOL...like that's going to be there by the time I'm old). I keep getting questions like that, where people are expecting me to map out all of my next steps in my career. It's like they're skipping entirely over the baby thing, as if that's not an interesting or valuable aspect of my life. It's just such a downer! We live in a work-obsessed culture, it's so bizarre. It's not like I am some big-shot career woman anyway so even if I were to completely walk away, it wound't be from much. My job is fairly mundane and doesn't pay enough. I hope to find a better one after baby. And that's all I have to say about that, why can't people just leave it at that?
My FFFC is that I'm more than likely going to be induced at 39 weeks and planning the induction for the beginning of the work week because I know DH's parents won't take off of work to come down for the birth. I'd rather my parents and DH be the only people around for the first few days. DH's parents can come down the weekend after DS is born. I'm too pregnant and ragey to deal with my in-laws and all of their shit.
@Snaps816 I dropped down to PT when DD was about 4 months old and then completely quit when she was about 7 months. Our plan is for me to stay home for about 5 years until both kids are at least in Kindergarten. I don't think a one year gap will be that big of a deal. I feel like even my 5 year gap will be worth it. My job was not a family friendly place and not that great, so I'm fairly confident I will find something better when I decide to go back. (I actually got the opposite pressure when I was still working. DH, my mom, and grandma were all really wanting me to quit and stay home with DD. I ended up not getting a promotion and it wasn't worth staying without it.)
FWIW my mom stayed home with me until I was 10 (she did babysit all of those years). She left a crappy job that didn't pay enough to justify putting me in daycare. She went maybe a couple months after deciding to go back before finding a job, and now she has a job exactly where she wants to be. Even those 10 years didn't set her back too badly.
My FFFC - I've been terrible about taking my prenatals the last month or so. I just keep forgetting, and now I'm totally out of the habit.
My UO - I'm not really sentimental about ultrasound pictures. I've gotten a bunch this pregnancy because of my cervical issues, and if it were up to me, I would keep one or two and toss the rest. DH refuses to throw any away though, and now we have a pile of about 20, and I don't know what to do with them.
My FFFC: I'm so tired of my doctor/friends/random strangers trying to predict the size of my baby. Here's the deal. No one knows how big he's gonna be until he's BORN. Yes, we could all make some random guesses but the truth is, it doesn't matter if he's 7 pounds or 9 pounds or 8 pounds 12 ounces. I'm pretty sure they'll be able to get him out. Rant over.
My FFFC- Cannot stand it when people talk/type in all caps. There are better ways to emphasize your point.
I've a client who emails me all in caps and they get their spelling all wrong. If my last email ended with some sort of thanks, I get a reply, "YOUR WELCOME."
(@bananers I know you get what I mean by cringe times 100)
At any rate, even if they are not yelling, all the emails I read in my head, it's all:
@Snaps816 - I saw my "youngest female partner ever at a high ranking accounting firm" cousin shortly after I gave notice at my job. I told her how I quit because DS had been hospitalized twice for various reasons and my job prevented me from ever seeing him and I had already dropped down to an administrative pt job which barely paid anything and had an hour + commute. She f'ing started quoting Lean In!!! I just couldn't. why do people think their opinion/experience is the best and only way???
@Bookhousegirl - we have so many ultrasound pics from DS it's ridiculous. This time around if it wasn't a really good shot I told them not to even bother printing me a copy!
FFFC - That's enough Pokémon Go users. Stop making this stupid thing news. I don't care.
Amen!! There were adults, with their infant, walking down our street playing this dumb game. College kids stopped their car and asked which one had a character; the mother got all excited and threw her hands in the air. Really?! Don't you have something better to do with your life?
Besides people not having common sense, I think the Pokemon thing is a neat idea. I'm glad to see the media talking about something other than devastating news and see people getting out and interacting.
Mine doubles as a FFFC/UO I'm over being pregnant. All of the aches and pains are just pissing me off at this point. Texas is freaking (not the word I'm using on my head) hot. I'm sick of hurting just getting up to go pee at night. I'm sick of the disgusting discharge EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to pee. Basically I've had a "bloody show" since last week, soooo fun. And the 3 hour long contraction bouts I've been having are just the icing on the cake. But not as much as the farting I have every time I sit down to pee.
@Bookhousegirl - absolutely agree about ultrasound pictures. I'm glad I have a couple but no need for any more. I actually gave most of them to dd since she likes carrying them around.
I actually wish I wouldn't have had so many ultrasounds this pregnancy. Outside of the dating and 20 week I found them to be a waste of time. Before 20 weeks there wasn't much to see and the one I had at 32 weeks seemed pointless. At 32 weeks her feet were up by her face and we could only see her one part at a time. It ended up being more of a disappointment than anything.
@Bookhousegirl Our healthcare provider doesn't print US pics at all. They just give you a CD of images to take home. It's kind of nice because it's no big deal to keep them all, and easy to share electronically, but they are a pain to make prints of if you do want any because the dimensions are wonky. Pros and cons, I guess.
@alyssajrob22 and @AliKay20 SO MUCH YES. (See what I did there?) Also, lack of punctuation. KILLS ME DEAD. There are a couple people on this board who do not use punctuation and (FFFC) I sometimes won't even look at the post if it is from one of those people. I just can't.
@alyssajrob22 and @AliKay20 Whoops, sorry! I just did that on the Randoms thread, haha. But I see what you're saying and I'm glad you brought it up. I will likely reconsider next time!
Sometimes I wish I made less money so I could justify staying home. Most days I like my job and if I'm completely honest with myself I'm probably not cut out to be a SAHM anyway, but the mom guilt is real, and sometimes I think it would be easier if the decision were basically made for me. It's not like I'm rolling in dough, but I make just enough for it not to be justifiable to stay home, but still be depressing to see how much of my paycheck goes to childcare.
@bananers same. DH and I have equal salary, but my bonus, stock grants and insurance force me to stay. I wouldn't be a good full-time SAHM, but I would love to be part-time. However, I lose a ton of benefits if I go part-time.
UO: Here in Des Moines it has made our downtown more pack then ever and I have seen people pushing there babies playing that game, i think they should not have there child if they go hunting for pokemon because something can happen while being distracted, yesterday that i went for a walk literally this mom walked away from the stroller to go catch one and she was maybe more than 10ft away from her kid, in my head i was like i would never do that because many things can happen, from getting your kid kidnapped to many other things
My fffc nesting mode has began since last night, i did some deep cleaning that my mom was amazed that i literally folded all clothes and were put away, cleaned my wood floors and i will finish up today, thinking of doing the crib tonight we will see
@alyssajrob22 and @AliKay20 SO MUCH YES. (See what I did there?) Also, lack of punctuation. KILLS ME DEAD. There are a couple people on this board who do not use punctuation and (FFFC) I sometimes won't even look at the post if it is from one of those people. I just can't.
@tisunge602 I'm with you, the lack of punctuation kills me, too. We learn about run-on sentences in elementary school, this is not hard! I won't read the post if I have to do the work of breaking down a whole paragraph into sentences that I can understand.
@bananers@LWC1112 I feel the same way. There are many days I feel like I'm not doing any of my roles very well and I feel like committing to being home full time might help with that. I can't justify it to myself though, because even though a huge chunk of my paycheck goes to childcare, it's not enough to give up my job all together. In reality, I would probably lose my mind if I was actually a full-time SAHM, I just don't have the patience for it, but it doesn't make it any easier...
@Snaps816 - I saw my "youngest female partner ever at a high ranking accounting firm" cousin shortly after I gave notice at my job. I told her how I quit because DS had been hospitalized twice for various reasons and my job prevented me from ever seeing him and I had already dropped down to an administrative pt job which barely paid anything and had an hour + commute. She f'ing started quoting Lean In!!! I just couldn't. why do people think their opinion/experience is the best and only way???
@Curls919 Yes, exactly this kind of thing! It's almost as obnoxious as people who ask you how you're going to lose the baby weight. Like, thanks for suggesting where my priorities should lie. I guess for people like your cousin, who have found the career that is a good fit for them and love what they do, it would only be natural that to want to keep it on track and "Lean In" and all that. Personally I am a "work to live" person, not a "live to work" person, so I want to find a job that works for me and my family and helps me live the life I want, not tailor my life around my job.
@alyssajrob22 and @AliKay20 SO MUCH YES. (See what I did there?) Also, lack of punctuation. KILLS ME DEAD. There are a couple people on this board who do not use punctuation and (FFFC) I sometimes won't even look at the post if it is from one of those people. I just can't.
@tisunge602 I'm with you, the lack of punctuation kills me, too. We learn about run-on sentences in elementary school, this is not hard! I won't read the post if I have to do the work of breaking down a whole paragraph into sentences that I can understand.
Yyyyyyyyyyyp! That being said, I have a hard time reeling in my stream of consciousness style of writing sometimes. Sincerely apologize if it ever gets annoying! I'm usually a grammar/spelling Nazi myself.
My best girlfriends are coming this weekend, and secretly I'm annoyed about the whole thing. Cleaning my house and planning meals I am so over right now. I had planned to do BBQ chicken tomorrow, and I can't get off the couch to go pull the chicken out of the freezer. And that potato salad I planned to make? Yeah, I'm thinking the premade grocery store stuff will be the way to go. I quit.
I wish that there was an interview process for moving into a neighborhood, where the current residents could vote on anyone moving in. I love our neighborhood and most of the neighbors, but there is one family that lets their children run around like feral animals and they can't manage to keep their yard clean. It would just be nice to avoid the awkward conversations that we seem to keep having. ex. "Could you please make sure your kids don't leave their bikes behind my vehicle?" or "Could you please stop letting your dog poop in my front yard, or at least pick it up?"
@bananers@LWC1112@Bookhousegirl Same. I am vastly underpaid at my job. However, DH is 100% commission based and just in the first year of his business. I get amazing benefits, and a steady paycheck. I would be a terrible SAHM. I am a homebody, and I think staying home ALL THE TIME would actually result in depression issues and even more heightened anxiety. Part time would be perfect, but its not in the cards for awhile.
I wish that there was an interview process for moving into a neighborhood, where the current residents could vote on anyone moving in. I love our neighborhood and most of the neighbors, but there is one family that lets their children run around like feral animals and they can't manage to keep their yard clean. It would just be nice to avoid the awkward conversations that we seem to keep having. ex. "Could you please make sure your kids don't leave their bikes behind my vehicle?" or "Could you please stop letting your dog poop in my front yard, or at least pick it up?"
We had a family like that in our last neighborhood. They were constantly leaving their stuff in our yard/driveway. One time DH decided to "accidentally" back over their basketball with his car to teach them a lesson. He had no idea that a popping basketball would sound like a gun going off. Scared the shit out of everyone in the neighborhood, lol.
FFFC: I hate hosting overnight guests. I told my SIL that my DH was working late too (he isn't) so that would force them to have to stay at my parents tonight rather than our place.
There will be 25 people at my house tomorrow for our baby shower, I don't want her, my brother, and nephew staying overnight all weekend too. I just want to go home after this late shift and sleep. My parents only live twenty minutes further north.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Ever since my appointment on Tuesday, I've decided to eat whatever I want. My BMI puts me in the overweight/obese category so my doctor wanted me to monitor my weight gain closely. Which I have. But with two weeks left, I'm over it. Burritos for dinner followed by Culver's frozen custard and French fries? Sign me up!
@tisunge602 So much yes!!! I am the same way. I will scroll right on by the entire thread sometimes. I use the app on my phone still, so Ill get lazy and not throw in an apostrophe sometimes. But, I at least use punctuation to separate sentences or paragraphs. @Car0liiine Best meme ever!
I guess my FFFC goes along kind of. I don't think I'm a very good stay at home mom. Maybe it's just because I'm pregnant, at least I hope so, but I feel like I am sub par. Before DD I was a phlebotomist so it made no sense for me to work because my entire check would go towards child care. Our laundry baskets are never empty because I hate doing it so I will do enough where we have clothes to wear. I try to keep the house clean but DD makes that feel impossible. Hopefully I'll step it up once LO comes. Or everything will go to shit even worse. Oh well.
100% on skipping those who won't use punctuation. Or I'll read it just to say "WTF?!"
Like @alyssajrob22 said, using the app I will skip out on some things or just not see a mistake but I do use periods, commas, semicolons, and question marks.
@midwestbaby I completely agree! I don't like having people in my house in general. I can't imagine having them stay overnight while being this pregnant and having to work late. Ship 'em north!
I'm also over people's opinions regarding my pregnancy. I briefly mentioned this on the randoms thread too. My coworkers, friends and family have been telling me all pregnancy that she's going to come early because I'm so huge. Apparently being a really short person with a big belly automatically means I'm giving birth to a 12 pound baby and a month before I'm even due. I'm also tired of people speculating to how miserable I must be and how I definitely got my due date wrong and probably got pregnant way before I thought. First of all... You can't see inside my uterus so you don't know how big my baby is. Second of all, I know exactly when I got pregnant because DH and I only had sex twice in the month of November (unfortunately) and they were 48 hours apart and I had a period a couple weeks before that. Therefore I know when I got pregnant thank you very much. And yes I do feel miserable but you don't have to point it out! OK, sorry ladies, that turned into a rant.
I agree about the Pokemon thing. We actually have trespassers coming into our building at work searching for them. We're not a public building and are always on high alert due to threats we receive every now and then, so it's not welcome here. The players don't seem to understand that though.
FFFC: I made this stink a couple months ago with my mom and sister telling them I really don't like bows on babies. I think it was more me being annoyed with my mom and sister and them talking about dressing her up. Anyways, while I still think the huge bows bigger than a baby's head are kind of ridiculous, I got a few headbands from my shower and am thinking I might want her to wear them. But, I was so adamant about how I would never put them on my kid that I can't use them. So I might just put them on her while we are home and take pictures just for myself. I feel I'm going a little crazy.
@Hannah0726 I think hair bows on babies are cute but I was always too lazy to put them on DD. I wish I would have now because I can't put anything in her hair without her ripping it out.
@DressageDarling I have come to the exact same conclusion. I have a mental bucket list of treats I usually don't allow myself that I suddenly realized I better get in while I have an excuse.
Eta: I have also always been a slackass when it comes to keeping house. But I'm hoping that once baby comes I will have the motivation to do better since I'm gonna be a SAHM.
Re: UO's and FFFC Anyone?
My complaint here is that I'm getting really sick of people dwelling on the career aspect of all this now. Like, we have our first child coming and it's really exciting. It's a beautiful thing! This is NOT the time to ask me if I'm worried about what a one-year resume gap will do to my career, suggest I take some courses during my "time off," remind me that I better get back to work to pay into my Social Security (LOL...like that's going to be there by the time I'm old). I keep getting questions like that, where people are expecting me to map out all of my next steps in my career. It's like they're skipping entirely over the baby thing, as if that's not an interesting or valuable aspect of my life. It's just such a downer! We live in a work-obsessed culture, it's so bizarre. It's not like I am some big-shot career woman anyway so even if I were to completely walk away, it wound't be from much. My job is fairly mundane and doesn't pay enough. I hope to find a better one after baby. And that's all I have to say about that, why can't people just leave it at that?
FWIW my mom stayed home with me until I was 10 (she did babysit all of those years). She left a crappy job that didn't pay enough to justify putting me in daycare. She went maybe a couple months after deciding to go back before finding a job, and now she has a job exactly where she wants to be. Even those 10 years didn't set her back too badly.
My UO - I'm not really sentimental about ultrasound pictures. I've gotten a bunch this pregnancy because of my cervical issues, and if it were up to me, I would keep one or two and toss the rest. DH refuses to throw any away though, and now we have a pile of about 20, and I don't know what to do with them.
(@bananers I know you get what I mean by cringe times 100)
At any rate, even if they are not yelling, all the emails I read in my head, it's all:
Pathetic.
@Bookhousegirl - we have so many ultrasound pics from DS it's ridiculous. This time around if it wasn't a really good shot I told them not to even bother printing me a copy!
I'm over being pregnant. All of the aches and pains are just pissing me off at this point. Texas is freaking (not the word I'm using on my head) hot. I'm sick of hurting just getting up to go pee at night. I'm sick of the disgusting discharge EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to pee. Basically I've had a "bloody show" since last week, soooo fun. And the 3 hour long contraction bouts I've been having are just the icing on the cake. But not as much as the farting I have every time I sit down to pee.
IM SO OVER IT
I actually wish I wouldn't have had so many ultrasounds this pregnancy. Outside of the dating and 20 week I found them to be a waste of time. Before 20 weeks there wasn't much to see and the one I had at 32 weeks seemed pointless. At 32 weeks her feet were up by her face and we could only see her one part at a time. It ended up being more of a disappointment than anything.
@alyssajrob22 and @AliKay20 SO MUCH YES. (See what I did there?) Also, lack of punctuation. KILLS ME DEAD. There are a couple people on this board who do not use punctuation and (FFFC) I sometimes won't even look at the post if it is from one of those people. I just can't.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
My fffc nesting mode has began since last night, i did some deep cleaning that my mom was amazed that i literally folded all clothes and were put away, cleaned my wood floors and i will finish up today, thinking of doing the crib tonight we will see
Yyyyyyyyyyyp!
That being said, I have a hard time reeling in my stream of consciousness style of writing sometimes. Sincerely apologize if it ever gets annoying! I'm usually a grammar/spelling Nazi myself.
I had planned to do BBQ chicken tomorrow, and I can't get off the couch to go pull the chicken out of the freezer. And that potato salad I planned to make? Yeah, I'm thinking the premade grocery store stuff will be the way to go. I quit.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
There will be 25 people at my house tomorrow for our baby shower, I don't want her, my brother, and nephew staying overnight all weekend too. I just want to go home after this late shift and sleep. My parents only live twenty minutes further north.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Like @alyssajrob22 said, using the app I will skip out on some things or just not see a mistake but I do use periods, commas, semicolons, and question marks.
@midwestbaby I completely agree! I don't like having people in my house in general. I can't imagine having them stay overnight while being this pregnant and having to work late. Ship 'em north!
I agree about the Pokemon thing. We actually have trespassers coming into our building at work searching for them. We're not a public building and are always on high alert due to threats we receive every now and then, so it's not welcome here. The players don't seem to understand that though.
Anyways, while I still think the huge bows bigger than a baby's head are kind of ridiculous, I got a few headbands from my shower and am thinking I might want her to wear them. But, I was so adamant about how I would never put them on my kid that I can't use them. So I might just put them on her while we are home and take pictures just for myself. I feel I'm going a little crazy.
@midwestbaby Good luck at your shower tomorrow!
Eta: I have also always been a slackass when it comes to keeping house. But I'm hoping that once baby comes I will have the motivation to do better since I'm gonna be a SAHM.