TTCAL check-in July 11th

SnobunnieMel

happy Mondays to everyone!!

1. Introduce yourself (if you are new)

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided)

3. Rants/Raves

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 

Aera11

1. Introduce yourself (if you are new) I'm not new, but I took a two week hiatus from all things social media related.  I had a chemical last September and a MC in January.

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided): TWW, 9dpo with some super wonky temps but all above my coverline.

3. Rants/Raves: I don't really have either or the following could be a rant.  Like I said above, I took a little break from all of things social because I had a guy friend from college reach out to me saying he wished we had dated, why didn't I give him a chance, and on and on...  I did not need that added stress on top of infertility and TTCAL. The worst part was that he's married and just had his second child. It was frustrating and infuriating so I had to step away and now I'm in a place where I'm over it. He did it once before many years ago and we never talked about it because I assumed he was nervous about getting married so young and he had been drinking. 

My rave is that I'm already 9dpo and haven't had any bsc! 

Also, I just wanted to say congrats to any of the bfps I missed! It looks like there were a few.

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat?  I love to make homemade Popsicles with fun flavors but I do loveeeeee ice cream! I tend to get coffee flavored a lot.

chloe97

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided)
Benched and on cd 57 after D&C. I'm 99% sure I ovulated on Wednesday or Thursday last week because I had a nearly positive OPK on wednesday and my temps jumped from 97.3 to in the 97.9 region the rest of the week. I will go into get a progesterone check Tuesday.

3. Rants/Raves
Guys, I'm really starting to freak out that the 4 dots of blood+4 days of intense cramping I had starting at Cd 35 was my period. It would make sense with my ovulation date being 17 days after it. I'm deathly afraid that I have uterine scarring after my 2nd D&C in 6 months. My RE nurse didn't seem to think 4 dots could be a period, so we will do an ultrasound to check. I'm praying they within the next 10 days I get a heavy heavy AF to put my fears to rest. The last thing I need is Ashermans syndrome added to my problems!

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 

Im usually a chocolate with peanut butter ice cream girl, but my husband has this Popsicle obsession going on right now. Raspberry Popsicles made with real fruit are the bomb!

Aera11

Oh gosh @chloe97 I'm sorry to hear that! Hopefully AF shows! I had some weird spotting after my D&C in January that I thought was possibly my period and my cycle that time was 51 days, AF just arrived on her own freaking time. And I love chocolate/peanut butter anything! I'm s peanut butter cup flurry kind of girl.

Amdogger82

@aera11 That sucks. I have had that happen with a high school friend who was married (and expecting!) at the time. I feel like guys  go through little midlife crises where they think they grass could have been greener, and they act like complete twats.  Though it sounds like a chronic thing with this guy.   Sorry you had to deal with that.

@chloe97 I hope you did O, and that you get a real AF soon. Hoping you get some answers and peace of mind.

1. Introduce yourself (if you are new) Not new, but the last couple weeks I've been less active due to work. I had a MMC with our first in May. 

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided) WTO. CD 9. This is my first real cycle after the d&c. 

3. Rants/Raves 
Rants: Not TTC related, I'm just overwhelmed at work. I've not been very good at compartmentalizing lately, and have stress dreams about my teeth falling out. I started this job in September and I  worry that I'm not cut out for it. 

Raves: Otherwise life is good. DH and I had been planning to got out for a date night Saturday, but ended up getting take out and just drinking too much in the kitchen and talking for hours. I mean we didn't just talk,  but talking was the best foreplay. 

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 
DH and I make a Sunday night run to DQ every week and it's always the same: vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. I'm kind of a purist and usually just like vanilla. But I can be talked into cookies and cream. And Phish Food. 

roxgibbons

2. Status. WTO- CD 2 so I've got a ways to go. We are on a break from medicated cycles this month and are going to give it a shot on our own and then make a decision about next steps. 

3. Rants/Raves. Today is my 38th birthday. I was really hoping to be KU by now and  it's a bit of a trigger but I'm working through it. Rant. I'm mad at my body and feel like I don't trust my instincts anymore. I had a good feeling about this last IUI and I have some different symptoms and was feeling a ton of pulls and pains during what would have been implantation and was thinking that this was it. When I got my test results I felt really betrayed by my body. It's a strange thing. 

Rave. DH did a good job to try to take my mind off of things this weekend and had a nice pre- birthday celebration. Eventhough we were both hurting it was nice to relax and spend time together. Tonight I have dinner over at my mom's house. She always does a dinner and cake for the family so I'm looking forward to that. 

GTKY. I love ice cream and gelato. I specifically love coffee flavored ice cream. There is a gelato shop in town and I love there espresso flavored gelato. Also another go to is a brand called Three Twins and the salted caramel is amazing. 

Aera11

@Amdogger82 thank you, and I'm sorry that happened to you too. But I agree completely; I think they think the grass is greener for sure. I didn't want to get involved but a small part of me wanted to tell his wife because I'd hate to think my husband was doing that and I was oblivious. I would never want to look like a fool for not knowing.

also, we're cycle buddies! Well it sounds like that was a great night and distraction from the work stress.

roxgibbons

@chloe97 I remember my RE telling me that bleeding patterns after D&C/ loss are very strange and can be difficult to figure out. I hope you get a full fledged AF soon to put your mind at ease. TTCAL is stressful enough and there is no need for any additional stressors. 

@aera11 what a creep! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. 

@Amdogger82 sorry about work but your date night sounds awesome. Glad you had a good time with DH. 

AliciaGoose

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided) WTO CD 7

3. Rants/Raves: My anxiety is back pretty full force. I had it when KU, it surprisingly went away after my miscarriage, but now it's reared its ugly head. I think I need to go talk to someone ASAP because I don't want to let it get out of hand, and honestly I should be seeing someone if/when I get KU again because I know it will be through the roof then. I've had my OCD and anxiety pretty well managed for two years and I hate that it's coming back. It mostly manifests as hypochondria but once it starts I fall down the rabbit hole. And at this point I'm falling pretty fast. 

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 
My go to is Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream! I also really love banana milkshakes (just vanilla ice cream with a banana blended in).

Aera11

Thank you @roxgibbons , I hope you're doing ok!

@AliciaGoose I went to talk to someone for a few weeks straight after my second loss, and it was honestly so helpful. I felt safe allowing myself to pour out the rawest things I'd ever felt and now I go from time-to-time if I hit a rough patch. It's great that you recognize you want/need to talk to someone! 

SnobunnieMel

2. TWW either 10 or 9dpo. Not temping, just OPK 

3. Rant: work this week is going to swallow me. My boss and I are so overwhelmed we are both getting burnt out and our new surgeon doesn't start for another 10 months

Rave: my MFM we met was great. We already have all the testing she would want done from my RE so just wanting on genetics results too. She was so calming and optomistic and told us if everything is clean we still have over a 60% chance of a healthy pregnancy just from adding baby aspirin and progesterone. Her office also has a prenatal spa!!! I like her and her demeanor but she is at a hospital 45 minutes away from us. I really prefer the hospital 15 minutes away my regular OB is at but his manner is not one I like. DH and I differ on staying with her but adding a 30 minute drive in case of emergency. 

4. @roxgibbons knows where it's at, espresso gelato cures all. Cinnamon ice cream is my other go to. I once had toasted marshmallow that was the greatest thing ever but have never I had it again. Alas. 

chloe97

@roxgibbons happy birthday!!! And sending hugs your way! I totally know what you mean about not feeling pregnant. Last week when I had that pregnancy scare, I SWORE I felt pregnant for one day. My boobs hurt, I was falling asleep at 8:30 for no reason, and I felt slightly nauseous. Wtf did I really just imagine it? I hope you are right a it weird bleeding problems following D&Cs. I also had a scare after my 1st D&C when my period got stuck for 3 days. The next AF was heavy and  I managed to get KU'd just fine 7 8 weeks later, so it didn't inhibit that.

@Aera11 I'm sorry about your random Facebook pursuer. Like what part of married, do people not understand?! I've strangely had 2 past bf's friend me on FB after I got married, which I figured they did because I was no longer a threat to their wives after I was married? 

@Amdogger82 If you don't mind me asking how long was your its-D&C cycle and what was your AF like? I know it varies from person to person, but I feel the need to collect stories. Glad you had a great date night with your husband!

Aera11

Happy Birthday @roxgibbons!! 

Haha right?!? @chloe97, mind blown. I'd love to see how men's minds work!

fivetimesnoluck

1. Introduce yourself (if you are new)
Sticking my toes back in after taking a Bump break. History in signature.

So excited for the many BFPs that occurred while I have been out of the loop! Big hugs to all of you who are expecting again.

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided)
CD 28, took this cycle off after three TI cycles. RE has suggested we move into IUI or consult on Donor Egg IVF.
DH had a second SA that showed worrisome numbers and though it's only been three cycles, RE said if he didn't know my history of five conceptions, that just looking at DH's numbers and my chart would lead him to believe we are likely infertile. (We got KU the first or second cycle every time, but now that we have someone on our team who can actually help us retain the pregnancy.... we are having trouble. RE said that IF and RPL are first cousins and he has seen people affected by both issues.)
Just called him this morning to confirm that will try at least one IUI.

I feel like we seriously can't catch a break and I wonder how long we have to go, how hard we have to fight to get what we want. And what will it all cost us (emotionally and financially) in the end?

3. Rants/Raves
I am exhausted from it all. Scared. Confused. Anxious.

DH and I just came back from our annual trip to New England for the Fourth of July and it was a really lovely time with friends. I know we both needed a re-set.

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat?
Fave Ice Cream flavor is definitely coffee (or vanilla) & toffee.

SnobunnieMel

@fivetimesnoluck I am so sorry that it has been such a rough journey. The questions of how hard and long to fight are common and I know frequent discussions in many of our homes. Hopefully the IUI journey goes well for you 

lilylover27

@aera11 sounds stressful, think the break was a good idea! Glad you're back!
@chloe97 I hope AF shows so you can have some peace of mind!
@amdogger82 that sounds like a good date night to me! Especially with the talking
@roxgibbons happy birthday!! I am glad you and your DH could find some peace and relaxing time this weekend with everything going on.
@aliciagoose I hope you can find someone to talk to about your anxiety. I have often thought about seeking out help too ever since the MC.
@snobunniemel I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you! Seems like you are on a great track!

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided)
WTO, CD2

3. Rants/Raves
Mostly rants over here, it was a tough weekend. First I started the weekend with a BFN on Saturday morning and then some spotting so I knew that AF was coming and we were out this cycle. We had an engagement party to go to Saturday night that I was looking forward to and DH was driving since AF was already starting at that point so I could drink. Well they have been friends of the family forever and they know about my MC, I had talked to one of them as she had experienced one as well. Well not even a half hour in the brother (who already had a couple of drinks) starts off by saying I am sorry about your baby. Now I get it, he just wanted to extend sympathy but I think because it was so far from  my mind at that moment it just hit me so hard. He continued to do the cliché it will happen when it is meant to be and everything. DH held my hand and I thought I would be ok. Well one of the daughters found out she was pregnant after me, we would of been due weeks apart. Just seeing her obviously pregnant triggered me a little but then her cousin is also a week or so behind her, so I was surrounded by two pregnant women whom I would of looked like if I had not had a MC. Then of course my mom starts talking about kids and saying when we have one and blah blah blah. I literally almost cried. DH had to hold my hand and talk to me while I pretended I had a piece of bread scratching my throat and that's why my eyes were tearing. Then the other sister, who had one pregnancy and no complications, kept talking about how she knows being a mom is in my cards and it will happen. It was just too much baby talk for me and broke me down.

Sorry long rant but honestly I could not control my emotions that whole night.

Edit to add that one of my co-workers just told me that he and his wife are expecting their second. Happy for them but I feel like that just put a negative spin on my day.

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 
Love ice cream! I am stuck between cookie dough and chocolate. Generally I like the two together! OH but those Ben and Jerry core ice creams?!? OBSESSED! Especially the brownie batter one!! YUM!!

chloe97

@fivetimesnoluck I was just thinking about you this morning. Im so sorry about what you are going through. It's so frustrating!!!

lilylover27

@fivetimesnoluck I am so sorry that this has been such a rough time for you and your husband. FX that the IUI goes great for you!

chloe97

@AliciaGoose I'm so sorry about your anxiety. I also have it REALLY bad. I had severe panic attacks the week of my D&C that manifested itself in hypochondria. I went through the list of things that could be wrong with me for 2-3 weeks. I actually had an endoscopy because I was convinced I had esophageal cancer. After we got our puppy, it's gotten better. Every time it starts to gear back up, I go through a list of reasons in my head why things are probably ok and I'm not dying of cancer. If anything, my hypochondria has made me a lot more aware of my mortality and caused me to try a lot harder to live in the moment. Life is short!!!! 

Aera11

@fivestimesnoluck I'm sorry you're going through this. Sending hugs!

@lilylover27 ugh im sorry about the bfn and that entire situation. They probably didn't think about what they were actually saying. I swear, if they could see it from your eyes they would be appalled at themselves.

lilylover27

Thanks @Aera11 I know their hearts were in the right place but ugh it was just so hard. Especially since I had some drinks so I was already heightened emotionally. I just keep thinking how in two months it will be a year since we started trying and while I know that isn't long as some it just seems like forever to me.

Aera11

No I know @lilylover27 . I actually feel like it goes by fast and slow at the same time if that makes any sense. A year ago I was blissfully unaware of what a loss felt like even though we'd already been trying for a year then. Now I'm just 2.5 weeks away from my second due date and can't believe how quickly the second edd snuck up on me. It's a crazy ride we're on, that I'm sure of!

SoonToBeMommaHowe

Happy Birthday @roxgibbons!!

@SnobunnieMel toasted marshmallow ice cream
sounds delicious! 

2. Shockingly I'm in the TWW! CD37, 4DPO. Yay for ovulating without meds!!

3. Rave - DH and I got a Roku (we cancelled all cable/internet when we moved in March), we hooked it up this weekend and I got to watch Fixer Upper!! I LOVE Chip and Jo!
Also I just feel like I've been walking on a cloud since I got CHs on FF. I'm a smidge pissed at my OB for never suggesting temping and for dxing me anovulatory and prescribing meds without all the necessary information but I can't do anything about that now. Just hoping that now that I know I ovulate we can time up BD and hopefully get a BFP in 2016. 
  **Thank you to you ladies who introduced me to the world of temping, you all are far more informative than my OB**

GTKY - Hands down its grapenut ice cream. I get it every time DH and I go out for ice cream. Which has only been once since March, boo. I also am a HUGE fan of dark chocolate & sea salt/caramel gelato mixed in one bowl. *drooling

yolandamunoz

happy Mondays!!!

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided)
Benched for high insulin. Checking my high prolactin too. On a diet.

3. Rants/Raves
Rant. I sing in a choir, and one of the girls got pregnant at the same time with me the first time. Now she is visibly pregnant and I cannot stand the sight of her. I keep thinking that should be me. And of course she got KU without even trying. ;(  Now I have to stop going to choir at least until she gives birth. So sad but I don't see an alternative for me.

Rave. On Saturday I went to a photographic hike, my DH got it as an anniversary present for me. I really enjoyed it, the place we visited was wonderful and took many great pictures! 

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 
People people!! it is winter here! LOL. I say as I wear my down parka and rain boots. I will say though that my favourite ice cream flavour is Butter pecan. 

Back to my hot chai now!!!

chloe97

@SoonToBeMommaHowe OBs tend to be agnostic temping and charting. I think it's because there is so much error associated with it, and medicine in general tends to cater to patients as if they are all low on the health literacy scale. And it's true, it's definitely not 100% foolproof, but I wish they did a better job teaching us about NFP in sex Ed class. I knew nothing about CM, Cp, and temping before I came to this site. It's help me feel a lot more in control of the process!! It certainly would have helped me back when I was single and had pregnancy scares!

Amdogger82

@chloe97 my cycle post d&c was 37 days, I think I o'ed on day 25 post d&c which is about right for me, I think. I had been on the pill for about 12 years  and got pregnant on my 3rd cycle off, so there wasn't a lot of time to see what's normal for me. My period was heavier than I remember than being--but I was still adjusting to coming off the pill, so this might be my new normal. It was also longer than normal 5-6 days instead of 3-4, which I'd be ok with because I was worried before that my periods were too light and maybe that meant my lining wasn't getting thick enough. 

@lilylover27 I'm am so sorry it was such a terrible night. I would not have been able to keep it together. Hugs.

@Aera11 I would not want to be oblivious if my husband were doing that either. Maybe you could tell him if he says anything like that to you again you can't in good conscience not tell his wife? I totally understand not wanting to get involved!

@AliciaGoose Thinking of you and hope you can find someone to talk to that is helpful. I don't have anxiety but do have issues that I feel were in better control before our MC. I hope you can find someone who is helpful to talk to.

@roxgibbons I know it's complicated, but I hope you can enjoy your day! Happy Birthday!

@fivetimesnoluck hugs and hope that the IUI is successful. I'm so sorry this has been such a rough road.

@yolandamunoz I'm sorry, that's such a tough situation. My SIL is very pregnant, and I love her and am so happy for her, but every time we see her I go home and cry. Do what feels right for you. Hugs.

lilylover27

@SoonToBeMommaHowe I love me some fixer upper!!! I want them to come a decorate my entire house!

SoonToBeMommaHowe

@chloe97, 100% agree that more time should be spent teaching young women the fertility awareness method. I've been not preventing/actively trying since October 2013 and only just recently (in the past 6 months) realized how much diet, exercise, sleep, stress, etc affected my fertility. And only in the last two months figured out charting...I'm not saying it's a guarantee but I have to think that if I'd been educated from the get go that over the course of three years I'd have more than one BFP. 

nmd9168

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided) I think TWW 

3. Rants/Raves: I don't use OPK's. I find them to be too difficult to read, and the easy to read ones (ClearBlue) are too expensive. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I ovulated last week. I had most of the symptoms, and for most of the week my husband was okay with BD every other day. Then this weekend, which would've been toward the end of ovulation, he didn't want to and we haven't for 3 days.... "I'm too tired". I hope that it didn't ruin our chances this month. With being sick right after taking Clomid and then this, I'm afraid that I have nothing but a BFN to look forward to. I'm also really worried about the TWW. My periods are VERY irregular. I used to take BC to keep them regular, before TTC. Since getting off of BC, I can go like 60 days without a cycle. So how do I know when to take a test? Do I go by a 30 day cycle? I've been having crampy like feelings though, so is it implantation? Ugh. Sorry lots of worries this morning. On a non TTC related note, my DH and I are supposed to go to Washington DC next week. Now, we're unsure if we should go in light of possible protests. So that's kinda ruined too.... =( Not having a good day, so far.

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat?  I loooove ice cream. (Probably a little too much) My favorite flavor is butter pecan. I get made fun of for it lol. I embrace my old lady-ish tastes. I also really like frozen custard. A Twist with rainbow sprinkles is always cool with me. As far as other stuff, because I don't discriminate with cold treats, I'm a big slushy fan. (Slush puppies and sonic slushes only, not a fan of Slurpee) 

Aera11

I have a question (and I'm sorry if it's been discussed before and I missed it).... I'm 9dpo and for the last two days I've had on and off ovary twinges/twitching. I don't ever remember having them other than around ovulation. I don't want to google and get mixed messages...have any of you experienced this? I'm just nervous it's a cyst...

nmd9168

@SnobunnieMel I want to go to a prenatal spa! (frantically looks for one in MI)

rainbowturtles

@Aera11 sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, I've had the same happen to me from more than one ex. At first it upset me because I wondered why they suddenly realized how great they could have had it but instead treated me like crap, and then I realized that they were still jerks to be saying this to me when they had current partners/spouses. Congrats on no BSC at 9dpo! FX!

@chloe97 as strange as it seems to say, I hope you get a really heavy AF soon and that it can feel like a fresh start and put your mind at ease, at least a little

@Amdogger82 oh boy, I hear ya on the stress dreams  Sounds like a fun date night, tho!

@roxgibbons Happy Birthday! But very sorry that it is triggering I hope your break this month will be helpful

@AliciaGoose so sorry about your anxiety and hope you can get the help you need. Glad you have the self-awareness to know when to reach out!

@SnobunnieMel that sucks that your new doctor is better than your regular OB but farther away That would be a tough call, indeed. I'm in a somewhat small town and worry about making these types of decisions, too. My GI doc is fantastic but is roughly 2hrs away. Most of the best doctors area actually roughly 2hrs away  So when it comes to situations where there are likely emergencies, it's a tough call. Hope you and DH can agree on the decision that is best for you

@fivetimesnoluck sorry everything is so hard (((hugsifwanted)))

@lilylover27 that would have been really hard, I'm glad DH was there for you

@SoonToBeMommaHowe I'm still so happy for you and your crosshairs!!!

@yolandamunoz I'm so sorry about your choir Since my first loss 10yrs ago I've become way better with babies and children, but pregnant women/baby bumps still trigger me...it's hard!

@nmd9168 the only thing I can answer is what I've learned, but if you have PCOS or something I don't think the same rules apply. And to the other ladies, feel free to correct me, as the fog is strong today and I'm still learning lol From what I understand, long cycles mean late ovulation. The follicular phase is from CD1 to the day you ovulate and it's length can vary GREATLY based on many factors. But the luteal phase is from 1dpo to either AF or a BFP and typically only has a couple days of variance and is usually between 14-16 days. They say if you have raised temps or make it to 18dpo without AF, then you're almost certainly pregnant. So then, the problem of course is: If you don't know when you O'd, it can be REALLY hard to figure out. But if you think you O'd last week, you could probably start testing about two weeks from when you think you O'd (tho, let's be real, most of us test around 10dpo lol), and then test again whenever you think feels right if AF still doesn't show. Just know that without temping, it will definitely be tricky to know where you are (((hugs))) Hope that was more helpful than confusing or annoying lol!

Aera11

If you find one in Michigan @nmd9168 let me know! I'm in Michigan too

rainbowturtles

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided)

I am VERY cautiously stepping away from the bench...  I thought I'd be more excited, but it doesn't feel real, yet! My temps are very slowly creeping up, so I really don't know if I've O'd, yet, tho physical symptoms point to yes. We'll see what my future temps will bring!

3. Rants/Raves

Right now all I can really think about is how awful my headaches and pain and fogginess have been this cycle and I'm trying hard to not take meds but it is REALLY hard. Nothing bothers me more than when I can't pinpoint WHY I'm feeling worse all of a sudden, and when nothing I am trying is helping. It's interfering with my exercising, which was going really well for a while, among other things, like basic existence lol

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat? 

I love ice cream lol I love salted caramel ANYTHING, but I also have a favorite from Superstore which is "Loads of Raspberry Treats" or something, and it is white (can't remember if it's vanilla or white chocolate) ice cream with a raspberry ribbon and chunks of dark chocolate, pieces of white chocolate, and little yogurt "cups" filled with raspberry jam OMGGGGG! I love lots of "STUFF" in my ice cream lol

chloe97

@Aera11Ive had them too. I also had them on one side for the first 7-9 weeks of pregnancy. I was freaking out it was a tubal pregnancy until after my 6 week scan noted the presence of a large corporal luteal cyst in my left ovary. These are the cysts that come from where the egg breaks free that produce the progesterone. Every woman who ovulates gets one, so it would make sense to have one during the TWW. 

This is what I have been telling myself at least.

Edit- I actually looked this up and I was wrong - the CL cyst usually only forms if you are pregnant and it's not everyone. Most shouldn't cause any problems though.

E2theB

1. Introduce yourself (if you are new): I'm not new to the forums, but I've been lurking on this thread for a week or so.
I'm 32, my husband is 29. We got married June 2015, started TTC in Sept. 2015. We had a natural miscarriage on April 1st at 9w1d.

2. Status (WTO. TWW, benched, undecided): Technically we are waiting to ovulate, but really I guess we're undecided. When we found out about our loss, we decided not to do much differently. The doctor advised us that we were free to begin trying at my follow up, which was about 10 days post-mc. I got my first post-mc period exactly 4 weeks after the loss, so it seemed like everything was fine. However, I've had three very unusual cycles since, so I'm not sure if I'm ovulating again yet.

3. Rants/Raves: I guess you could say I'm very frustrated. Frustrated because I spent my whole life avoiding pregnancy until I was stable and happy in a job and relationship to start a family, and it's not happening now that I'm 'ready.' Frustrated that no one discusses losses, so you have no idea how common they are. Frustrated that our circle of friends is starting to marry off and have kids, when my husband and I have been together longest and thought we'd be the first parents. Frustrated that my husband's ex (the mother of my step-daughter) is unmarried and gave my stepdaughter a sibling before we did. Frustrated that since we have custody, I'm caring for a beautiful child every day, who will never ever call me mom. Frustrated that I don't know what is going on with my body on any given day. The healing process has been lengthy, and I still don't feel back to my old self. Frustrated that every female I seem to know is a mother or is about to be. Frustrated that I'm back to square one again. Frustrated that I can't help but be selfish and wonder when it will be my turn, when other women have waited longer and suffered more than I have. Frustrated that some days I just can't focus on anything else but my own hurt and think about nothing but getting pregnant all day. Frustrated that I feel like no one understands my pain.

4. GTKY: it's summer, it's hot out, what is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream/gelato? If you don't like ice cream (we may flame) what is your go to cool down summer treat?
I love a good banana split. We live about a 5 min drive from a local ice cream shop. My husband likes to tease me that I can finish an entire sundae myself before we even get home from the shop.

SnobunnieMel

@E2theB please do not ever feel alone or that no one understands your pain here. Reading your post was like reading everything I feel every single day (except I don't have a step child). You are not selfish, you are grieving and you are only human to think these things. Please know we all think these things and hopefully we can help. I'd let to say t gets better but I think it just cycles. I still get hurt and angry seeing other pregnant women. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you feel so betrayed by your body. 

fivetimesnoluck

@E2theB Welcome to the boards. You are in good company here - we do understand or can at least relate and share similar frustrations and pain. I am sorry for your loss.

To all, thank you for your kind words upon my return. I know we must keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I am dragging ass lately. You know how sometimes you know what you need to do and you do the opposite instead? That's kinda where I am.... I know I need to get my ass back to yoga. I know I need to look forward and not backward. I know I need to hold on to hope. I know I need to treat my body well, but I just want to eat ice cream and potato chips and watch bad movies and drink beer. UGH.

Was CD28, but we can edit that to CD1 now. Spoke to my doc this morning (before I started) and will speak to him again tomorrow since I called and left a message with CD1 info... One of my challenges is that the RE we are seeing is semi-retired. If I pursue IUI, I will do that with a partner doctor in Augusta, about 2 hours from Savannah. If we pursue DE IVF, I will be referred to a specialist at RBA in Atlanta (3.5 hours away). And this is just to GET pregnant... then we have to work to keep it.

@roxgibbons I am sorry for your recent BFN, but wish you a happy birthday- maybe 38 will be the year for us both! Enjoy your travels - I have always wanted to make it to Montana. Big hugs.

SnobunnieMel

Nothing like finding out our insurance deemed it "not medically necessary" to do chromosomal testing with my d&c and are denying the $6k charge for it. Never mind the fact it found 3 chromosomal abnormalities that when combined with my next two miscarriages has determined our course of treatment. Fuckers. 

E2theB

SnobunnieMel and fivetimesnoluck, I hope I can find some solace in speaking with all you ladies here.

RiverSong15

I don't have time to respond to everyone that I want to right now, because work is insane today, but I'll check back in later. 

I just wanted to respond to @nmd9168. I don't remember your history, but are you taking Clomid from an OB? Just from your post, I'm concerned you're not being monitored properly. Proper care with Clomid is to have an ultrasound mid cycle to see how you respond. OPKs, temping, and symptoms can all go haywire on a medicated cycle, and you can't rely on them to tell if or when you ovulated. Without this, you risk not increasing your dose next time if you underresponded, or higher order multiples if your overresponded. Some people overrespond even on low doses. There are other side effects too. Im not trying to scare anyone with this. I just want to make sure you're getting good care. 

All that being moot this cycle, I'd consider calling your doctor to see if/when you could do a progesterone check. That would at least tell you if you ovulated this cycle.