It makes me SO MAD when family INSIST on being present during labor. I've already verbalized that no one will be in the room except for DH. My family said "Fine, we'll wait in the lobby." I nicely said, no thank you. As PPs have said, who knows how long this process is going to take? I'm not willing to sacrafice H who is my primary support person so that he can run out every 5 minutes with updates. I also don't want to feel pressured into letting people in right after delivery. I want a few hours of just the 3 of us and I'm not even sure I want to let anyone but myself or H hold him that first day. It's crucial bonding time for us and I get that everyone is excited but I'm not sacrificing something I can never get back because they're impatient. We decided we just aren't going to tell anyone we're headed to the hospital. We can update as we get further along with labor and let them know we'll call once we're ready for visitors.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@LGW2015, I'm sorry. Especially the MIL part. Maybe when you go into labor, don't even tell MIL. Can you do that? Also, I understand the stress about not knowing, and lots of unknowns and things beyond your control. Just remember that you're doing the best you can by educating yourself. I think you're already leaps and bounds ahead of other people (like me! i haven't taken a birthing class!). You're gonna be ready, mama. And you're gonna do awesome. Also, do not worry about MIL. She's an adult, let her stay 18 hours if she wants. You focus on you and that bebe you gotta push out.
I didn't want anyone at DD's birth. This time, IDGAF. My inlaws watched me get KU and they can't be in the OR anyway. If they could, I wouldn't be offended if they were there. Mostly because I love them so much and they missed out on so mum with DD (FIL had a liver transplant right before DD was born).
Oh well if you want them there (or don't care either way) that's a totally different deal. But if you can't stand the thought, then your wishes need to be respected.
Oh well if you want them there (or don't care either way) that's a totally different deal. But if you can't stand the thought, then your wishes need to be respected.
Totally agree. My issue is with family feeling entitled to be there and then getting upset when you say No.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
I am going to make perfectly clear that no one is allowed with me while I labor or *at least* an hour or so after the birth, and that they can wait in the hospital all they want but it will make me nervous and probably make my labor take longer. If they want to be in town (both sets of grandparents live 30 min away) they can hang out at our house. I have considered letting my mom in to spell my husband, but think ultimately I'd rather be alone because she has a way of making me feel even more tense in tense situations. Also, I am comforted by solitude, not people. I wouldn't even want my husband there if I didn't need someone to fetch and whatnot while I'm incapacitated.
I didn't want anyone at DD's birth. This time, IDGAF. My inlaws watched me get KU and they can't be in the OR anyway. If they could, I wouldn't be offended if they were there. Mostly because I love them so much and they missed out on so mum with DD (FIL had a liver transplant right before DD was born).
I am the opposite my mother doesn't really want to be there (something about "can't stand seeing me in pain" bullshit) but I'm all "hell no! You're in there because hubby will be useless and I need someone to do what I'm telling them" lol then my aunt asked if she can be there, which I hesitated with (she's been like a second mom) but I didn't know her reasons which is pretty much she sees me like a daughter she never had and wants to be there for me. So I told her she can be there, but she will have jobs to do (ie massage out any back cramps because she has magically strong fingers and hubby just lightly rubs, and she has to hold one of my legs while my hubby is passed out on the floor). She actually had to take some time to decide then if she wanted to be there because she didn't know she would be "working" lol. Ya she agreed though, as long as she doesn't have to look.
I didn't want anyone at DD's birth. This time, IDGAF. My inlaws watched me get KU and they can't be in the OR anyway. If they could, I wouldn't be offended if they were there. Mostly because I love them so much and they missed out on so mum with DD (FIL had a liver transplant right before DD was born).
I didn't want anyone at DD's birth. This time, IDGAF. My inlaws watched me get KU and they can't be in the OR anyway. If they could, I wouldn't be offended if they were there. Mostly because I love them so much and they missed out on so mum with DD (FIL had a liver transplant right before DD was born).
@ingoscj I spent a lot of money that we don't have on that badass Samsung curved tv they had on sale. I justified it by calling it our Christmas present to each other. I can't wait for it to get here tomorrow!
@mayisch Nope. I have a few outfits and that's it. I really need to get it in gear. I have a bunch of stuff on a registry for a shower that I'm not having so I guess as soon as I'm done spending money I don't have on Amazon, I need to get started on buying baby things.
Wuth DS, I asked my mom to be in the room with me, which meant my dad came by proxy (NBD). When we were at the hospital, DH asked if MIL could come hang out at the hospital and at the time I DGAF but she wasn't allowed in my room during the "big moment", which she respected. The only thing that pissed me off was that after DS was born I got to hold him for 30 seconds before they took him to the NICU. DH had the nerve to ask if MIL could hold him in the NICU before I got down there. Hell to the no! I heard she was upset, but too fuckingbad for her. NOBODY holds my baby before me, especially after 14 hours of labor.
This time, it's just going to be me, DH and my friend/photographer. I considered asking my mom to come, too, but they're an hour away and what if babe comes at 2AM? Not reasonable. Besides, I'm going sans pain meds and have a feeling I'm going to just want to be left the hell alone.
This is totally random but my dog, a black lab/German Shepard mix, hates water to the point she just tried to make me give her a piggy back while in the lake (she was still able to touch the ground and it only went to her chest but she wanted out of the "wet" that badly). So hubby took her and she did the same to him. We both agreed, she needs her nails trimmed lol
Really?! Mine was just a pants off, dance off. Haha. I'm really close with my inlaws. We live down the street from each other and hangout several times a week. I got lucky. Haha!
Ummm call me crazy, but the birth videos we watched in birthing class tonight made pushing look way easier than I thought it would be. Maybe it's because they cut some of it out, but yeah....not nearly what I expected!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I need to schedule a hospital tour, we didn't do one last time because of time conflicts and it really caused some confusion because the hospital was set up terrible. However the hospital we are using this time only does tour weeknights at like 6pm and doesn't allow anyone except the parents to attend, including young children who may not have a freaking sitter at 6pm on a Tuesday night.
@ibabyloveb87 I have no idea about pushing (never got that far with DS) but I assumed it was hard and lengthy work. I know it depends on the person and some people really do push 3 times and pop out the baby, but I can't imagine pushing for an hour being pleasant.
@ibabyloveb87 I wouldn't call pushing complicated. Your body pretty much takes over and you feel the urge to push when it's time. But I also wouldn't call it easy. I'm pretty sure about halfway through I asked "Is it almost over?!?" The doctor and my husband just sort of gave each other a look that said "Should I tell her or will you?" (The answer was no. No, it was not almost over.)
ETA: It took about an hour of pushing. And it hurt. A lot.
@ibabyloveb87 I have no idea about pushing (never got that far with DS) but I assumed it was hard and lengthy work. I know it depends on the person and some people really do push 3 times and pop out the baby, but I can't imagine pushing for an hour being pleasant.
I plan to labor down to try to avoid pushing for hours on end. My friend had to rush her baby out bc of heartbeat issues and pushed her LO out in 30 mins (MD said she condensed 3hrs worth of labor into that amount of time) and it really wrecked her downstairs. Obviously, that can happen in other circumstances but I'm hoping to give my body lots of time to adjust and stretch to hopefully avoid needing stitches.
Pushing was weirdly easy in that it was straightforward. Wait for contraction, count to 10 while bearing down like you're taking a poo, rest and wait for the next contraction. The work itself is damn hard, but conceptually it's pretty easy.
I really didn't mind pushing, TBH. I was super fascinated watching the mirror so I could see all the action downstairs and watch the progress with each push.
@LGW2015 The doula teaching my birthing class told us that she thinks "ring of fire" is some bad marketing, and it really should be called the numbing effect, because after that you don't really feel anything else. Numbing effect sounds a lot better!
I agree that the birth video made me a little bit scared about how long the labor process is. But I'm trying to remember that the video only focused on the contractions, not the time in between, and in the beginning the time in between contractions is a lot longer.
The video with the epidural birth was definitely the most relaxed looking! I'm planning to get one, but everyone should handle labor and delivery the way they want!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@Blonde1817 I wouldn't at all say you're numb after the Ring of Fire from my experience. I would say instead you don't notice much else afterwards because honestly nothing could really be worse and you're consumed by relief once it's over...
@bnsmith85 Take as much time as you can! I thought I was wrecked beyond repair after DD (recovered fairly well considering though) because my body had no time to prepare. She decided she was coming after my doctor broke my water and arrived 30 minutes afterwards. Other than getting her out of it, it was the worst 30 minutes of my life. Her birth was med free, but ONLY because they didn't have time at all to administer and epi.
@NoraAurora Got an epidural with LO, and I plan to with this one as well. It made labor so much more enjoyable, so much easier, and honestly I believe helped prevent a lot of further damage to my downstairs. Med free is for the birds... never again. Never by choice anyway!
We have a meet and greet with the doctors at the practice that will deliver Ella today so that we can get to know the other doctors (since there's only a 1 in 8 shot that my doctor will actually deliver her). Any questions you recommend that I ask them?
I have our follow up appointment with the MFM today after the preterm labor last week. Fingers crossed that my cervix magically grew 3 cm and that all is back to normal. LOL.
Really though, fingers crossed that I look okay enough to not be admitted again. I was scared I was going into labor last night.
Apparently the alarm system is down at the facility I manage. with the alarm system, I have to use a FOB to get in the building and again to get into my office. Well I have a real key for the building but the key I thought went to my door, apparently does not. So now I'm trapped out of my office and have to use my assistant's computer.
Re: Weekly Randoms 07.11.2016
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 28 DH: 27
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 28 DH: 27
I'll let her explain, and just sit here giggling.
Me: 28 DH: 27
This time, it's just going to be me, DH and my friend/photographer. I considered asking my mom to come, too, but they're an hour away and what if babe comes at 2AM? Not reasonable. Besides, I'm going sans pain meds and have a feeling I'm going to just want to be left the hell alone.
That seems like it'd be awkward... lol
Me: 28 DH: 27
The retrieval is the invasive procedure. You get put
under for that.
Me: 28 DH: 27
Still... Not super invasive. Though I'm glad my in laws weren't there
@bnsmith85
Me: 28 DH: 27
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
ETA: It took about an hour of pushing. And it hurt. A lot.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I really didn't mind pushing, TBH. I was super fascinated watching the mirror so I could see all the action downstairs and watch the progress with each push.
I agree that the birth video made me a little bit scared about how long the labor process is. But I'm trying to remember that the video only focused on the contractions, not the time in between, and in the beginning the time in between contractions is a lot longer.
It's a boy!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@bnsmith85 Take as much time as you can! I thought I was wrecked beyond repair after DD (recovered fairly well considering though) because my body had no time to prepare. She decided she was coming after my doctor broke my water and arrived 30 minutes afterwards. Other than getting her out of it, it was the worst 30 minutes of my life. Her birth was med free, but ONLY because they didn't have time at all to administer and epi.
@NoraAurora Got an epidural with LO, and I plan to with this one as well. It made labor so much more enjoyable, so much easier, and honestly I believe helped prevent a lot of further damage to my downstairs. Med free is for the birds... never again. Never by choice anyway!
Really though, fingers crossed that I look okay enough to not be admitted again. I was scared I was going into labor last night.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19