Two birthday parties?

erbare

For starters, understand that when I say "birthday party" for a 1 year old, I mean a potluck or cookout with cake and maybe balloons, nothing over the top.
My dilemma is this: when my son was 4 months old, we unexpectedly had to relocate across the state for my husband's job, so we're 4+ hours from my family and 2 hours from my in-laws (and 2.5 hours between them). We don't have any friends or family near where we live now, so we've debated having 2 separate birthday gatherings for my son on the weekends around his birthday, one in my hometown and one in my husband's. My husband has started campaigning that we have one party at his parent's house since it's the most central, and basically hope my family will drive 2.5+ hours for a baby's party (which I know my parents will, but probably no one else). I don't know if it matters, but before we moved we lived closer to my family and spent more time with them.

What are everyone's thoughts on this? Our families get along great and all, but I really want to give everyone the chance to celebrate with us since it's his 1st birthday and he's the first grandchild on both sides. Would it matter which family weekend comes first? Or is it better to just do one? Does it make us look greedy or tacky?

Thanks in advance!

LoveLee85

I would do the seperate parties ONLY because it doesn't seem fair to make one side drive for almost 3 hours and not the other. I would keep it fair and simple with two seperate. I know my LO has all his great-grandparents and it would be too far for them in the car. 

shelbydd

I'm doing 2 separate parties. We're in a similar boat as well. We used to live about 2 hours from my husbands family while my family was about 6 hours away. When LO was about 3 weeks old we moved to the same town as my family and now my husbands family is about 5 hours away from us. It's not a terrible drive but i do feel like it's unfair to expect either side to drive hours away for a birthday party but I know they all want to be involved. I personally don't see it as being greedy or tacky. I could honestly care less about the gifts, I just know both families want to be involved and there for his first birthday.. Anyway!!

lo's birthday is Friday Septemeber 2nd- we are having a birthday party (like you, it's pretty low key. A smash cake for LO, cupcakes and grilling, maybe some balloons) at my sister-in-laws house on Saturday August 27th which is the weekend before, and then one at our house on Saturday September 3rd which is for my family.

Do what feels right! If your family and his family both want to be involved and apart of his party- do one for both sides. And as far as which to do first- my mom is notoriously jealous of my sister in law (a long story for another post) so I was apprehensive about doing the one at her house first. But I wanted to be at home on his actual birthday so I chose to do it that way. I have no doubt there will be backlash that I have to deal with but unless you're in that type of situation I really don't think it matters.

mrsmctaggart6

I'm doing two because my god mother (whom DD is named after) can't take the 2hr. Drive to my house so I'm letting my mom do a small one for just her side at her house and then I'll invite everyone else to my house... She wanted to do the whole thing but I don't want her telling DD down the road "I threw your first bday party at my house, I love you the most..." There might be some bubbling resentment there.... Anyways I'm throwing a separate party to accommodate one person so I don't think it's too ridiculous, lol.

missliz53

I don't think having 2 parties makes you seem greedy or tacky at all. I think it makes you the opposite by being willing to drive a lot of extra miles to accommodate both families.

If it were me, I would just do the party at your in-laws for both families, but that's because I couldn't imagine driving 4 hours with lo at this age and right now, she and her schedule pretty much rule our house and lives. 

tlc11934

I don't think it matters which party you do first.  Two parties is fine if that's most convenient for you.  We live near my family and friends, not DHs and only have one party near us.  Most of the time DHs friends and family don't come and that upsets him, but he gets over it quickly and it doesn't seem to bother his family that they're missing out.  They have so many grandkids, nieces, nephews, they hardly notice. 

BabyBugutsky

I'm doing two separate parties for my little guy. My family and DH's mom's family live 4 hours away. DH's dad's family lives where we do. So we have to have to parties. I don't want anyone to miss out on celebrating his first birthday.

We are doing the larger party first, but it just happened to work out that way. I don't think it matters which party first. You're willing to do twork parties to include everyone I'm sure they will all appreciate it.