Anyone else have Name Drama?

Mintz1982

My mother thinks she has a say in our green baby's name it's stressing me out. How do you tell someone you love that they have no say in your child's name. Sure I usually go for 18/1900s names and this time I went outside my norm but I'm tired of her pushing me towards names like Alton and Vera which neither I like. 

MrsN092714

I would just say that you've already picked one and it's going to be a surprise when the baby is born... 

saham07

Stand firm. DO NOT share the name....even if you have in the past. Just say, 'We are doing it differently this time" The surprise is really fun anyway. Good Luck

Bringmemylongswordho

Don't discuss names with her. Bean dip her. Say you've already decided. 

emilyalso

You might gently remind her that she had her time to name a baby (babies) and you're so excited that it's your turn now. 

SmrBrd2012

Yeah, like the others say, just don't give in. It should be pretty obvious that it's your baby so your choice in what to name him/her. Just tell her you have it under control.

lm45678

MrsN092714 said:

I would just say that you've already picked one and it's going to be a surprise when the baby is born... 

Yup! This is what I did, we stayed team green and didn't discuss names. It will get on people's nerves, sure but who cares? This is YOUR baby!

rock1cherry

We know we are having a girl but are not discussing names with anyone in advance. My hubby hasn't even started his list of names yet - we are each coming up with 10 or so and then will swap lists and cross out ones we don't like to narrow it down. Then we will decide when she is born. We feel we have to see her first! But it also helps prevent people from providing their opinions. 

BumpasaurusRex

Honestly, I'd just tell her that while you respect her opinions, you are no longer going to discuss names with her.

She had her time to name her children and now it's your turn.  This is one of those areas where you have to start putting your foot down now because it won't be the last time she gives you her opinion on baby-related things.

HotSauceSwagBag

Been saying we just aren't sure yet. When pushed for ideas, I mentioned that we were thinking of maybe Isabel (not anymore) and clearly ILs didn't like it since they were like "oh... is that a family name? Ooh, Jordan is a nice name!"

From here on out it's going to be "oh, we're still thinking about it" no matter how hard people push, then eventually just saying we'll announce once she's born. They had their turn. Sorry ya wasted it on making your only kid a Jr. 

KyleeWaller

Mintz1982 said:

My mother thinks she has a say in our green baby's name it's stressing me out. How do you tell someone you love that they have no say in your child's name. Sure I usually go for 18/1900s names and this time I went outside my norm but I'm tired of her pushing me towards names like Alton and Vera which neither I like. 

@Mintz1982 My husband and I kept our chosen name a secret from everyone until well into the ninth month. We did it by telling people we "had a few ideas, but weren't 100% sure." 

We had a few relatives ask if our baby was "still" Ainsley Odette after her birth certificate was signed, but any protest ceased there. After all, once the baby is legally named, there is no "say" and no argument, and interest will quickly fade. 

@HotSauceSwagBag we were given family name suggestions my entire pregnancy, but we told both families from the beginning we were avoiding family names to give the child their own name. What we didn't say was we wanted to avoid drama (why'd you name from one side and not the other/will you be naming from our side next time, then?)!

keri0426

Just kindly say oh, that's a nice recommendation, I will think about it, let her know you are going to announce when the baby is born. 

penelope4612

My mother kept bringing up names and I finally gave her two random names and told her those were the names.  She asked if I was serious and I said no, but we're probably not going to decide until the baby is here.  She's kind of dropped it since then.

ashleaf2018

My dad said, "You'll make it whatever I tell you to." Uh, yeah right.

Just don't discuss with anyone whose opinion doesn't matter to you. Because if you love a name and your family doesn't like it, they will most likely ruin it for you. If you're set on the name and don't want to tell them, just let them know that you have a few names that you are keeping in mind and that you and your partner will make the ultimate decision and announce when baby is born. 

karlimonster

First pregnancy we knew the sex and name immediately. There was no changing our mind, but people still gave opinions and suggestions. Team green this time and remaining vague as I really keep flip flopping. People still want to tell us names. I say "thanks" because it doesn't seem to matter whether you share the name or not, people still got something to say. I found once they're here and named people shut up. Good luck, cuz it sure isn't fun

PhoebeJune1984

Our first we were Team Green and got a lot of suggestions. I accidentally slipped on MH's #1 pick, to my mom, and she acted like it was the most awful name she had ever heard. Well, newsflash....she had her shot at naming three kids, and its not my fault that she picked family names for FN/MN of all of us....and they were names that other people in the family had already used multiple times (there are several of us with the same first name....its annoying). I wanted something that wasn't already being used on my mom's side of the family (where everyone is named after everyone else), and instead wanted something completely different. I hated that it slipped from that moment on, because then I started second guessing the name. Now we are on kid #2, and my grandma and mom are pushing family (overused) names on me again, and I just keep saying no to them. My sister knows that we have it narrowed down, but she doesn't know what the names are, and I am not mentioning them to anyone. I know that not only are they all going to side-eye the names that we have on our list (which most of them are in the top 100 in our state.....so it isn't like they are COMPLETELY out there), but they are going to try and talk me out of the few names I have after family members that I would like to honor (names that haven't been used already), because they would feel that someone else should be honored....someone that is more important to them....completely ignoring the fact that I want to name my kid after someone more important to me.

Since I know that they are going to completely side-eye them and only have rude comments, they will find out the name when it is officially picked (after baby is born) and on the birth certificate.  

virginiaunicorn11

We picked an absurd, obviously fake name, and used that when people wouldn't stop pushing us on the name. (Kansas City Barbecue) We just stayed straight faced and when my mom would push, I'd say, "You don't like that? Well there's lots of nickname options. KC, BBQ, KCB... You'll find something you like." We were able to make it a big game with our families, who finally took the hint and stopped asking. It allowed us to have fun in evading the questions, rather than be annoyed...and since we were able to be good natured about it, it eased any actual tension that had started to develop.

I told a pregnant friend about that strategy, and she said she's effectively doing the same (with a different name) now with her family.