Keeping Name Secret

Kittens22

So DH and I have decided to not share our name choices prior to giving birth (though we are open to finding out gender and sharing that with whoever). But we have both almost let it slip once or twice... ugh!!! Any advice for us to keep it under wraps more securely?!

For what it's worth, our decision is mostly due to an incident a few years ago when my aunt named her daughter In.gvild Marg.aretha (plus our very unfortunate last name)- my mother said it was "disgusting" and did nothing to try and hide her constant disapproving facial expressions from my aunt... or even the baby.. I caught her saying "I'm sorry about your naaaame" to the baby while holding her for the first time. 
Now, our choices for b/g are probably in the top 20 common baby name list last year. we are so in love with them and will not turn back. I'm really not sure if my mom would like them or not, but i feel like if she finds out once the baby is born than she's less likely to make stupid comments. I know many of you have much MUCH worse examples out there but this is so engraved in my mind that I can't turn back!

comealongponds

Come up with a code/decoy name, that way TOU have a way to refer to the baby without having to remember not to give up the real names by accident. 

Also, that's so rude! Who actually says to someone that they hate a baby's name!!? I hope your aunt ripped her a new one for that. 

forevertired

A friend of mine kept her baby's name a secret but called her by the first letter in the name. So they called her Baby P the entire pregnancy, and named her Paisley. It was nice that people had a "name" to call her even if it was just an initial. I think it also made it easier to keep under wraps because your instinct is to call it the name you know it by.

atcwag

This is one of the many, many, many reasons we are team green AND don't share names. As for keeping from slipping, I don't have any advice. I just don't feel the need for unsolicited advice from
anyone. 

shevaCC

We don't share names ahead of time for the same reason and do the decoy name thing. DH tried to convince MIL we were naming DS Quigley.

AdmiralKitty

Everytime anyone asks about names we tell them completely ridiculous ones just to throw them off. Currently we're working with Jebadiah. My dad is calling him Festus and my sister is calling him Prince Jett. I love that the ridiculousness is catching on- it helps me deal with the disapproval and pouting from my Mom and MIL.

LindsayMusgrave

We didn't tell anyone with DS and really liked it that way. We didn't want everyone's two cents, since it really doesn't make a difference what they say and we figured they would be more likely to like the name after it was attached to the baby permanently. Regardless, it doesn't matter. It's up to you and DH and everyone else should be respectful of your choice.

I hope your mother got ripped a new one for what she said to your aunt. So rude. I'd definitely tell my mother (or anyone) where to shove her comments if she said something so mean.

Also, not announcing the name gives you a bit more time to decide. We hadn't completely settled on DS's name before he was born (we had narrowed his name down to two names) and chose after we met him. It was great, and we'll be doing the same with this little one

jenesiso

If anyone has a negative comment, tell them to bite you.

Im a FTM and we are naming our daughter Lenora and everyone I tell is like OOOOooohhhh.....that's an interesting name! Well, my husband and I love it and that's what counts. My mother tried to convince us to name her Susanne Lenora (which Anne is her name, so you know she loves it) but we said no. You really have to stick to your guns.

My sister n law and brother had the balls to name their first daughter Azalea. Now that she's 11 we couldn't imagine calling her anything else.

So...lesson learned. "BITE ME" can be very effective lol

MissAmeliaPond

AdmiralKitty said:

Everytime anyone asks about names we tell them completely ridiculous ones just to throw them off. Currently we're working with Jebadiah. My dad is calling him Festus and my sister is calling him Prince Jett. I love that the ridiculousness is catching on- it helps me deal with the disapproval and pouting from my Mom and MIL.

Since I'm due a week before [American] Thanksgiving, I'm telling people it will be Squanto for a boy and Mayflower for a girl. My mom didn't/doesn't know who Squanto was. Good job American history in the 1950s! Apparently she's never paid attention to the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special either... 

SpiritYell0905

We're actually pissing everyone off and not telling the sex or the name.  MIL is not thrilled with this (which makes it a little more fun for me if I'm being honest).  I'm sure we'll slip up and use the he/she pronoun but the plan is to keep it a secret.  I really feel like this is the only time in this baby's life that it will truly only be ours.  Maybe I've posted this somewhere else before.  But for the time it's in utero I don't plan on sharing it with anyone but my husband.   

I think picking a nickname and sticking with it is a good way to keep the name from slipping.  You'll just have to be diligent.

PrettyPalomino

We are planning on doing the same. We are only going to start aggressively brainstorming names around 20 weeks, and I think the key is to not use the baby's name at home between you and DH. Keep calling it "baby" or some other nickname so as to not get into a habit that could accidentally reveal something!

My SIL kept their baby's name a secret until birth and it was the most special thing to meet her for the first time and it was unquestionable that her name belonged to her and made her who she was. Whereas if you tell ppl the name beforehand, they think it's a) up for discussion/reconsideration and b) hard to imagine an identity attached to it

PrettyPalomino

SpiritYell0905 said:

We're actually pissing everyone off and not telling the sex or the name.  MIL is not thrilled with this (which makes it a little more fun for me if I'm being honest).  

We really wanted to do this too but I'm scared of the wrath I'll get from my mom/sis... they would resent me for it I think..

banfrog

We use decoy names and pretend that we are absolutely certain about them. People are usually relieved and like the names (for the most part) of the names we did name our kids. I can't remember them all, but I know we used Gertrude Hortense and Lester Horace as decoys with one or two of the previous kiddos. No new one this time, but I think people are finally learning that we aren't going to share the names until the kid is born.

msu_gal

I think having a nickname helps.  We call the baby Little Man, even when we're home alone.  We don't use the name we've selected yet, that way it won't slip out accidentally in front of other people.  Until he's out of the bubble, he's Little Man

loko08

We're Team Green and are not telling anyone, and I mean anyone, our name choices. We've been asked multiple times if we've thought of names, and we just say no, life has been too busy for us to think about it. We have a girls name picked out, not a boys name though. As we get closer, we'll just tell people we haven't decided, waiting to meet baby, etc - which we are really waiting for before we 100% decide. 

People are annoyed we're not finding out the sex or sharing names, but they can wait. 

mrsjlang

The amount of people that are personally furious because we're not finding out the sex astonishes me. We've nicknamed it "the dinosaur" for now, because we wanted to call it something.

We also aren't sharing out name ideas with anyone, even parents. And we point blank we tell people that we are not sharing our thoughts on the subject. Not their baby, they don't get a damn say. 

TwandaFTG

DH suggested we call this baby Tally Ho after watching one to many episodes of Nature Cat.  If we weren't telling we would probably use that as a decoy name.

arcticseal-2

When we were pregnant with our first daughter (and team green) we told people a name we would never use (because we don't like a nickname of it) but liked so they could get an idea of our style but that was pretty much it. 

PurpleBrunette

We are team green and while we know exactly what names we will be using, right now we just refer to baby as "Lil Goat". This also comes in handy when people ask me 'what I'm hoping for', 'what I think it might be', etc. 

Justpeachier13

Yes @AdmiralKitty for the decoy name we're telling people we've narrowed it down to Karl Deinger or Freedom Ryder 

Kittens22

PrettyPalomino said:

We are planning on doing the same. We are only going to start aggressively brainstorming names around 20 weeks, and I think the key is to not use the baby's name at home between you and DH. Keep calling it "baby" or some other nickname so as to not get into a habit that could accidentally reveal something!

My SIL kept their baby's name a secret until birth and it was the most special thing to meet her for the first time and it was unquestionable that her name belonged to her and made her who she was. Whereas if you tell ppl the name beforehand, they think it's a) up for discussion/reconsideration and b) hard to imagine an identity attached to it

Thank you- that is just what we needed to hear! 

laurenlalap

We're telling people this baby will be named Coors (inspired by my love of beer).

leighry

With our first we told sex and once we decided on a name (which wasn't until about 6 weeks before she was born.) With our 2nd we told sex but not name because we were between 2 and couldn't decide. With our 3rd we told sex but didn't pick a name until after she was born. With this one I sort of don't want to tell sex OR what names we like. I just don't know if I'll be able to keep my mouth shut!

monkey41

For Game of Thrones fans: we were telling some people who asked "A girl has no name." Some then thought, oh, so you'll name her Arya. Our last name starts with an "S" so we'd say yeah of course, Arya Stark S., and our kid is going to have some great initials.

Thankfully we haven't gotten too much flack about not sharing the real name until she arrives and we try to use the nickname we first used, Lil Who.

fiscally3

We don't announce until birth, which our families were cool with, but we had some nosy friends co-workers. In the past, I've said it will likely an English name(as in well-known in England) that everyone knows how to spell. When pressed further, I give the decoy Sherlock. 

Both my sisters seem to think their opinions on nicknames count for a few weeks, but I just ignore them and they start calling them by their actual name or nickname in a few weeks.