Hosting a sip and see?

ashleaf2018

I'm really interested in hosting a sip and see after we have our baby, not only to celebrate the new baby but because we will be moved into a new place before baby arrives. Our due date is December 8, and we will most likely have to have a C-section because of a skin condition baby might have inherited (long story about that, but insurance won't cover that testing and we'd rather be safe than sorry). 

I was mostly wanting any advice from other moms who have had sip and sees, about how soon after baby was born did you have it? Is it considered tacky for the parents-to-be to host it since it isn't done for the purpose of receiving gifts? What kind of sip and sees are more popular, full out parties, drop ins, brunch, etc.?Mostly just looking to see what other moms did and what did/didn't work for them, but also interested in hearing from anyone who has ideas or advice to share. Also kind of worried about having one with baby being born during flu season and the fact that I'll be having a C-section, so any advice on how to navigate those things would be helpful.

OliveOyl2014

I didn't have a sip and see but I've had two csections. I would definitely wait a few weeks. Everyone heals differently, but I wasn't feeling up to anything until at least 3 weeks out. And I would be careful with the flu season. Hopefully most people will have common sense to not come if they are sick. You could also wear the baby during the party to try and avoid a lot of people holding her. I don't think it's tacky since it's not a gift giving event. Time wise I would do whatever works for you. Some people like to have a set time for the party to start and end, and others don't mind having the party be an all day thing where people come in as they can. I personally would have a set start and end time. Good luck!

BumpasaurusRex

Here's the thing for me: if it's a sip and see where the baby will be present, I think it's somewhat silly to strictly limit interaction with the baby.  I mean, that's the best part, right?

So personally, if you can get away with waiting until flu season is over and your comfortable having baby being held, I'd do it then.  You'd have optimal recovery time and at that point, baby would have had its first round of vaccines.

Linsbins

I would put together a bare bones type of plan, and then not send invitations until after baby comes. You never know how you will feel, whether from a c section, wanting your child to be away from germs, or you may be up for throwing a party right after birth. I would personally wait until my baby had vaccines that made me feel comfortable, but that's a long time to wait if most of those people would stop by to see the baby anyway. Personally I would enjoy going to a drop in type, maybe like 2-4 where there are snacks involved? You would want to have enough time where everyone you invite feels like they got to see the baby. 

VOR

DH and I invited people over the week after DS was born.  I'd probably recommend waiting a couple weeks, bu there's my take - first, put a time limit on it.  Say that people are invited from 1- 3 (or whatever, but I would only do 2 or 3 hours - you just don't know how YOU are going to be feeling!!).  Don't make it an open ended party.

Also, keep it simple.  Ours wasn't a party in any way shape or form and the people who came, the came, met DS, hung out for a bit, then left.  We offered them drinks but I don't even think we had food.  If you're making it more of an official party, yes, I'd have something to munch on.

BUT you're going to be a new mom of a new baby.  Keep it simple, keep your expectations low, and realize that you really don't know what you'll feel up to.

neverblushed

I think you need to decide on your goal in having a sip'n'see.  Maybe your goal is to organize the new baby visits so that all the friends and family who will want to visit are doing it at the same time rather than having separate visits strung out over the first few weeks.  On the other hand, maybe your goal is to host a party in honor of the new home and new baby.

If your goal is the first, maybe pick a two-hour window just after the holidays and have an open house.  I think that if you do it earlier than that, you'll be physically and emotionally uncomfortable.  If you do it any later, close friends and relatives will probably want to come even before the sip'n'see because they'll be excited and won't want to wait so long to meet the baby.  So, provide some light snacks, drinks, and people can come meet the baby, hear your story, take a peek at your new place, then go on about their day.  In this situation, you'll still be recuperating and need to take it easy, so you should remain parked in a chair near the baby while your H plays host.

If your goal is the second, maybe wait until later in the winter or early spring and have a bigger thing that's more like a housewarming party.  The down side of this is that close friends and family probably aren't going to wait until the baby is 3 months old to meet him/her.  You'll still have people coming over in the early weeks, and you'll have to figure out how to handle their visits.  But, on the upside, you'll be recovered and able to really be the hostess at the party.

ashleaf2018

Our main reason for having a sip and see is so that out of town family and friends all have a set day to come see the baby after we're out of the hospital and before we make any kind of social media announcement, and I don't mind waiting until later in January (maybe over the MLK weekend?) to have the party. I know social media friends will be anxious to see the baby, but obviously any close friends who are too far away or otherwise wouldn't be able to make it would receive some sort of announcement in the mail. Maybe the invitations could also serve as a birth announcement? 

I just feel that the new place will be a lot more comfortable for our family to entertain guests than the hospital will be, and we don't want tons of people in our hospital room. So I think the best way to say, "No, we don't want anyone at the hospital but we still want you to meet the baby" is the sip and see. Our parents, grandparents, and siblings will most likely drop by the hospital to visit, but I really mean for more of our extended family and friends, if that makes sense?

ashleaf2018

Sorry to double post, but to handle the flu season part of it, would it be super tacky to mention on the invites to please have the flu vaccine before you come meet the baby, or if you're feeling ill that we appreciate you celebrating from afar? I feel like it's a common sense thing and would be tacky to put on an invite, but then again I guess it doesn't have to be on the invite because I could word-of-mouth that to people? We also thought about for the set-up we could make a cute little hand sanitizer station on our entryway table that also has pictures of FI and I and the baby's newborn pictures. I feel like it's rude to make the assumption of people that they're going to be germy, but at the same time I don't want baby getting sick. Almost makes me wish we were having a summer baby, seems like there are a lot less illnesses to worry about in summer time!

DrillSergeantCat

ashleaf2018 said:

Sorry to double post, but to handle the flu season part of it, would it be super tacky to mention on the invites to please have the flu vaccine before you come meet the baby, or if you're feeling ill that we appreciate you celebrating from afar? I feel like it's a common sense thing and would be tacky to put on an invite, but then again I guess it doesn't have to be on the invite because I could word-of-mouth that to people? We also thought about for the set-up we could make a cute little hand sanitizer station on our entryway table that also has pictures of FI and I and the baby's newborn pictures. I feel like it's rude to make the assumption of people that they're going to be germy, but at the same time I don't want baby getting sick. Almost makes me wish we were having a summer baby, seems like there are a lot less illnesses to worry about in summer time!

Definitely do not put it on the invitation. You can't dictate that adults get vaccinations if they don't want to. Unless you're prepared to have everyone prove they got a flu shot, leave it alone. I do, however, like your idea of a hand sanitizer station. You should also remember that some germs are good for baby's immune system. The sip and see I went to a few months ago, she actually asked people NOT to use hand sanitizer.

ashleaf2018

I know I couldn't dictate it, @DrillSergeantCat. I just wondered if it would still be rude to word-of-mouth it that we don't want people to come that haven't had the shot, but obviously there's no way to prove if they have or haven't had it. I know some germs are good so I'm not gonna be crazy and have them use the hand sanitizer every five minutes. I don't anticipate there being tons of people that will stop by either, since it is just for family and close friends. I think with it being a smaller audience and not everyone will be there at the same time, the germs won't be as big of a problem as I'm anticipating. 

FemShep

ashleaf2018 said:

I know I couldn't dictate it, @DrillSergeantCat. I just wondered if it would still be rude to word-of-mouth it that we don't want people to come that haven't had the shot, but obviously there's no way to prove if they have or haven't had it. I know some germs are good so I'm not gonna be crazy and have them use the hand sanitizer every five minutes. I don't anticipate there being tons of people that will stop by either, since it is just for family and close friends. I think with it being a smaller audience and not everyone will be there at the same time, the germs won't be as big of a problem as I'm anticipating. 

Fewer than half of adults get the flu shot: https://www.cdc.gov/flu/fluvaxview/coverage-1415estimates.htm

If you would be uncomfortable with people attending who haven't had the flu shot, don't have the party.

ashleaf2018

@FemShep Yeah, obviously we have a lot of time between now and then to figure out if it's still something we want to do, so I think really we'll just have to gauge where our comfort level is at when the time comes. I tend to overthink a lot of things, so I think I'm overreacting and it probably won't be as bad as I'm psyching myself out over. The majority of people we're inviting are parents with kids, so I'm thinking they'll understand that concern without us having to say anything. If anything, it'll only be for two hours max, so a very informal drop in kind of thing and not so much a full out party, and we won't be inviting many people. I think it all has a very good chance of working out, but of course we won't know til we get there.

BumpasaurusRex

Now that you gave more information, I'm leaning towards the opinion of not having a party at all. There's no way, even by word of mouth, that it would be remotely okay to suggest people get their flu shot in order to attend.  That won't go over well.  I like your idea of the sanitizer station but again, it's going to be flu season.  I don't see a way for this to happen the way you want it to.

neverblushed

ashleaf2018 said:

I know I couldn't dictate it, @DrillSergeantCat. I just wondered if it would still be rude to word-of-mouth it that we don't want people to come that haven't had the shot, but obviously there's no way to prove if they have or haven't had it. I know some germs are good so I'm not gonna be crazy and have them use the hand sanitizer every five minutes. I don't anticipate there being tons of people that will stop by either, since it is just for family and close friends. I think with it being a smaller audience and not everyone will be there at the same time, the germs won't be as big of a problem as I'm anticipating. 

You are right to think that this won't be as big a problem as you're anticipating.  You may find some comfort in reading a reliable source (i.e., not a community board on a commercial baby website) about how effective good old soap-and-water hand washing is for preventing the spread of germs.  It's totally normal to ask people to wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before handling a new baby.  It's totally normally to have new-parent anxiety about your baby and germs.  It's not normal or acceptable to demand that people who come to visit your baby give proof of having had a flu shot.  No one will be offended if you ask people to wash their hands.  Many people will be offended if you require them to have had a flu shot before holding your baby.  And limiting visitors to people who have had the flu shot won't really solve the germ problem anyway.  Read up on it a little more.  When you have found a pediatrician, talk about it with her or him.  You'll feel a lot better

Imapisces

I'm having a sip and see about three months after my baby is born. It'll probably coincide with his Christening. My husband and I live so far away from our families, though, so it's really just going to be a few neighbors, coworkers, and friends from church - unless his parents really want to fly in. The baby is due in mid December, so we're not messing around with illnesses those first couple of months. Even if I breastfeed a TON. I'm not super worried about flu vaccinations because the CDC keeps coming out and saying it hasn't worked every other year, and getting the shot isn't really a guarantee. I wouldn't mind letting people know that they're welcome as long as they're feeling well. We'll probably ask guests to wash their hands when they arrive. We'll make a cute little sign or something. 

Just curious: are you having the sip and see in addition to a baby shower or in place of it? 

FakeFinn

PPs had some great advice, just popping in to say that my SILs had their babies 6 weeks a part and did a sip and see for family together. I believe the youngest was 4-6 weeks (it was May, so no flu season) and they did a high tea kind of thing (mainly sweets).