If your child has a bedroom, basement, and living room FULL of toys, and you still buy them gobs of new toys for their birthday/Christmas, perhaps it's time to focus your energies on giving them experiences and not things.
@LDSJM123 I really like the idea of "one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing they wear and one thing they read" idea to avoid the plethora of toys for Christmas and birthdays.
ETA to add the rest of my comment. Bumping on mobile, sorry if it posts twice.
@LDSJM123 I really like the idea of "one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing they wear and one thing they read" idea to avoid the plethora of toys for Christmas and birthdays.
ETA to add the rest of my comment. Bumping on mobile, sorry if it posts twice.
We do a similar version with our 9 year old daughter. Something you want, something to read, something to wear, and something to do (an experience gift). And Santa brings 1-2 items and fills the stockings. We just are not about stuff in our house. Quality over quantity wins out every time.
I got called mean by some people at work a few years ago for doing the "something you want something you need, etc" thing. But I love it and it works for us.
I think it's mean to overstimulate your kid with a bunch of junk. If asked what she wants for Christmas, I always ask for a museum membership or something like that.
So last Christmas my mother bought my son and stepkids SO MUCH JUNK. Like wayyyy more than we even got them. They barely touched any of it. I want to tell her no more gifts this year but I know it will piss her off.
We always ask family for a small gift for the kiddo and then money for his college fund if they want to give more. My mom is good at following this rule. My in-laws, not so much.
I really like the idea of using an experience. For us it's a combination of not wanting to raise an entitled kid and not having the disposable income to support getting every single toy.
My parents were awesome in that my brother and I never really wanted for anything. We may not have gotten the toy we wanted immediately, but it usually turned up shortly. It was a great childhood but it never really taught us the value of a dollar and we've both struggled financially in adulthood. I'd rather my kid be a little upset over not getting the latest toy right this second, but have a healthy appreciation for money and savings and gratitude.
@LDSJM123 I totally agree with you. I may actually end up adopting a method that one of my Pre-K student's parents used. They had 4 small children and always told them that Santa only brings them one gift each, so when they visit with Santa they were to ask him for the one gift that they wanted the most. They still received other small gifts from their parents but the children understood that mom and dad bought those gifts. I like this concept because it helps the children understand that things cost money and that Santa isn't going to bring them everything that they want. My sister learned this lesson the hard way and bought my niece and nephew everything that was on their list when they were little ( including a laptop for my nephew when he was 9). Now they are older and are requesting more expensive gifts. My nephew doesn't believe in Santa anymore, but he still expects a ton of presents because that's what he's used to.
I think I'm out of UOs... um...Pacquiao is better than Mayweather. Chipotle is better than Qdoba and Baja Fresh. Subway is better than Quiznos.
On the parenting things you all have mentioned: my mother always gave me books for Christmas and birthdays. Necessities were bought as needed, and toys were a rarity. (Stuffed animals though...I've got a gazillion of those.) I like the "one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing to wear, and one thing to read" but I would probably spread it out somehow.
And as for sleeping, I am totally here for the "cry it out/self-soothing" sleep training but I think DH will cave. I did the same thing when crate training our dog and DH (and my mom) blew that to smithereens because they couldn't take the crying. But perhaps the "graduated" version will be better.
This past year for Christmas we tried not to go overboard with gifts for the kids, and opted for adding in things they need too, but my family way over did it. They still have toys they haven't even seen that I haven't taken out for them yet. We will be donating a bunch shortly and I think I am going to have to start requesting money towards college fund instead.
My brain is too fried to think of my own UO today. I got nothing.
Not an UO but, on the idea of over purchasing of toys- my cousin told me yesterday that her friends give each kid one chest and they are in charge of what stays and what goes but if they get new things they have to donate older things to make space. I thought that was a pretty good idea!
Also, my UO for this week. I'm disappointed that my nursery is almost done. I feel like I've waited forever to decorate it and I had so much fun doing so that now it's done and I just feel like all that's left to do is .. wait ? It's an unsatisfying feeling.
My UO is that shoes are totally over-rated. Maybe it's the southern girl coming out in me, but I kind of wish I could just be barefoot and pregnant right now! Too bad it's an OSHA violation. Poo on you OSHA, poo on you! P.S. Love these gift giving ideas! Especially the chest idea! We already go through DSs things and donate but he's getting to the age that he should be able to understand these things as well and we want him actively involved.
Edit: for P.S., because my pregnancy brain does not function properly to have included it the first f'ing time.
We're going to do the 4 things rule too- want, need, wear, read. We've actually had to reevaluate gifts for each other and have decided instead of buying each other junk we will focus on our house and pick out furniture items or take vacations with our disposable income. Retail cr@p just doesn't make us happy and we're actually much more satisfied with family gifts than selfish individual wants surprisingly.
UO: At 8 months pregnant, I should be pampered exclusively. I'm letting work fall behind. I'm making DH do absolutely all house work unless I feel like helping out. I'm too uncomfortable and too distracted and running on too little sleep to feel obligated to do anything at this point. DH is taking it well. Work doesn't seem to care much either- maybe they were expecting this? Whatever. I'm taking full advantage of doing as much nothing as possible and don't even feel bad for being the laziest human alive.
We're also doing want/need/wear/read as our gift model from Santa. I'm thankful my sister is on board so our kids will grow up with the same Santa experience! We'll probably also then do the big presents from Mom & Dad, because I don't want all my kid's presents to be from a fictional character. We're going to ask grandparents to do experiential gifts, either a "we go together to do this thing" or a membership at a local museum, etc. Our house doesn't have enough closets/storage for us to accumulate crap.
UO: If you aren't going to bother to even RSVP/show up to my baby shower, don't even dare invite me to your 'gender' reveal. It makes you look gift grabby and like an AW, especially since you flat out told me you and your husband decided to have another kid because my pregnancy made you realize how much you missed being pregnant. Rude.
On the over gifting topic, we're actually pretty worried about that from the inlaws, especially MIL. She is a shopaholic and genuinely loves giving STUFF. My husband and I like experiences and sentimental gifts, or things that benefit the family and house, but she could be a problem...
Probably not that much of an UO but I have no interest in doing pretty much anything anymore, and I don't feel bad at all. Just existing at this point is hard enough. I mean, it's 11:30 am, and I'm drinking coffee in bed with my dog and binge watching original 90210. That's productive, right? Meh. Gotta store up energy for labor right?
My UO is that I go to baby showers just to support my friends. I'd rather be doing almost anything else...especially if it's even remotely tea-party-esque. I will, however, go...because friendship is more important than my personal preferences.
I'm slightly jealous of y'alls parents and in-laws over gifting. Literall my own mother gave DD nothing for her 2nd Birthday. One month later she gave her a wash cloth. One freaking wash cloth. This coming from the woman that sews like crazy, and even sews enough random things to go and do SEVERAL craft fairs every summer to sell her shit. So I guess my UO would be my child's grandparents don't buy/make/do things with my kids enough. We live in the same town.....
My in laws are the worst for buying stuff for our kids! DH says its because they went a long time having barely any money so now they can they like to buy buy buy. Not for birthdays and Christmas, just always. Ive pretty much said now any toys they buy can stay at their house because I don't want extra here but if they want to buy clothes or books/learning things they're always welcome
We regularly clean out closets and toy boxes and donate to "little boys and girls who don't have these things". I've been doing it since before DS could even fathom economic disparity. Especially around Xmas time when he should be reminded about giving rather than getting.
UO: I am so glad my hospital doesn't allow any visitors what so ever for the duration of the hospital stay. I think it's great to be able to bond with baby properly before all the family members descend and it becomes chaos. Also I don't want any smokers holding baby, if their clothes smell that disgusting to me, I don't want my child inhaling what ever fumes off their clothes. That's going to annoy a lot of my family members. If they don't like it, they can lump it!
I attempted to watch Orange is the New Black. I did not get the big deal about it.
I ended up loving it, but only for the supporting cast. Piper is so lame, definitely the worst part of the show. I had a hard time getting into it at first because of that.
I live next to a playground. It's designed for little ones, so like up to age 5/6.( Older kids are of course allowed to play there, but the equipment is for littles.)
I totally am fine with regular kids playing sounds, but when your kid is just screaming at the top of his lungs at the other kids, hitting and pushing them too, for no apparent reason, it's a little excessive. Especially when it's followed up by yelling at him from across the playground to be quieter, stop hitting, etc. Over and over. I've heard this kid's name more times in the last hour and a half than I have heard my own name in the last month. Get up and go talk to him, lady.
I live next to a playground. It's designed for little ones, so like up to age 5/6.( Older kids are of course allowed to play there, but the equipment is for littles.)
I totally am fine with regular kids playing sounds, but when your kid is just screaming at the top of his lungs at the other kids, hitting and pushing them too, for no apparent reason, it's a little excessive. Especially when it's followed up by yelling at him from across the playground to be quieter, stop hitting, etc. Over and over. I've heard this kid's name more times in the last hour and a half than I have heard my own name in the last month. Get up and go talk to him, lady.
That shit drives me crazy. Or some 10 year old that's too big for their britches and wants to start yelling all the curse words he's heard. Little boy, I will yank you up by your ears. Shut IT!
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Re: UO Thursday
ETA to add the rest of my comment. Bumping on mobile, sorry if it posts twice.
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I think it's mean to overstimulate your kid with a bunch of junk. If asked what she wants for Christmas, I always ask for a museum membership or something like that.
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
For us it's a combination of not wanting to raise an entitled kid and not having the disposable income to support getting every single toy.
My parents were awesome in that my brother and I never really wanted for anything. We may not have gotten the toy we wanted immediately, but it usually turned up shortly. It was a great childhood but it never really taught us the value of a dollar and we've both struggled financially in adulthood. I'd rather my kid be a little upset over not getting the latest toy right this second, but have a healthy appreciation for money and savings and gratitude.
My sister learned this lesson the hard way and bought my niece and nephew everything that was on their list when they were little ( including a laptop for my nephew when he was 9). Now they are older and are requesting more expensive gifts. My nephew doesn't believe in Santa anymore, but he still expects a ton of presents because that's what he's used to.
um...Pacquiao is better than Mayweather. Chipotle is better than Qdoba and Baja Fresh. Subway is better than Quiznos.
On the parenting things you all have mentioned: my mother always gave me books for Christmas and birthdays. Necessities were bought as needed, and toys were a rarity. (Stuffed animals though...I've got a gazillion of those.) I like the "one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing to wear, and one thing to read" but I would probably spread it out somehow.
And as for sleeping, I am totally here for the "cry it out/self-soothing" sleep training but I think DH will cave. I did the same thing when crate training our dog and DH (and my mom) blew that to smithereens because they couldn't take the crying. But perhaps the "graduated" version will be better.
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My brain is too fried to think of my own UO today. I got nothing.
Also, my UO for this week. I'm disappointed that my nursery is almost done. I feel like I've waited forever to decorate it and I had so much fun doing so that now it's done and I just feel like all that's left to do is .. wait ? It's an unsatisfying feeling.
P.S. Love these gift giving ideas! Especially the chest idea! We already go through DSs things and donate but he's getting to the age that he should be able to understand these things as well and we want him actively involved.
Edit: for P.S., because my pregnancy brain does not function properly to have included it the first f'ing time.
We're going to do the 4 things rule too- want, need, wear, read. We've actually had to reevaluate gifts for each other and have decided instead of buying each other junk we will focus on our house and pick out furniture items or take vacations with our disposable income. Retail cr@p just doesn't make us happy and we're actually much more satisfied with family gifts than selfish individual wants surprisingly.
UO: At 8 months pregnant, I should be pampered exclusively. I'm letting work fall behind. I'm making DH do absolutely all house work unless I feel like helping out. I'm too uncomfortable and too distracted and running on too little sleep to feel obligated to do anything at this point. DH is taking it well. Work doesn't seem to care much either- maybe they were expecting this? Whatever. I'm taking full advantage of doing as much nothing as possible and don't even feel bad for being the laziest human alive.
Probably not that much of an UO but I have no interest in doing pretty much anything anymore, and I don't feel bad at all. Just existing at this point is hard enough. I mean, it's 11:30 am, and I'm drinking coffee in bed with my dog and binge watching original 90210. That's productive, right? Meh. Gotta store up energy for labor right?
So I guess my UO would be my child's grandparents don't buy/make/do things with my kids enough. We live in the same town.....
Married May 16th 2015
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ETA: and also so they get vaccinated.
Ive pretty much said now any toys they buy can stay at their house because I don't want extra here but if they want to buy clothes or books/learning things they're always welcome
Also I don't want any smokers holding baby, if their clothes smell that disgusting to me, I don't want my child inhaling what ever fumes off their clothes. That's going to annoy a lot of my family members. If they don't like it, they can lump it!
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DS#1 July 2016
Baby #2 July 2018
I totally am fine with regular kids playing sounds, but when your kid is just screaming at the top of his lungs at the other kids, hitting and pushing them too, for no apparent reason, it's a little excessive. Especially when it's followed up by yelling at him from across the playground to be quieter, stop hitting, etc. Over and over. I've heard this kid's name more times in the last hour and a half than I have heard my own name in the last month. Get up and go talk to him, lady.
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