Who will meet baby first?

jksj1993

Anyone thought about who will meet the baby first after you have him? I would like my mom and sister to come in first to meet him, however I do not want to cause waves with the inlaws. But then again it's my mother's first grandchild and my sisters nephew. Any thoughts? 

Curls919

With DS it was whoever could get there first. My family isn't into drama so we told them what time visitors could come and the rest was up to them. i think ILs came first then my SIL then my parents and grandparents and my brother. 

This time around I'd love for DS to meet the baby first. So my ILs can drive him to the hospital but I want them waiting outside while DH brings him in and we have some time as a family of 4 before my ILs come in. 

jacmkelley

With DD my whole family was at the hospital - like extended family everyone. I was exhausted after delivery so I prob won't extend the same invitation as I did with her. During delivery my mom and my husband were with me. But once she was out everyone was able to meet her and all came into our room. It's a great memory but I was worn out and I remember feeling freaked out that everyone was holding her lol. 

Bookhousegirl

I also had DH and my mom in the room when I delivered DS. After the birth, my mom went out to tell our families (just DH's parents, and my Dad and brother/sister in law) who were in the waiting room. I can't remember fully who came in first, and honestly, besides DH and I, I don't really care what the order is. I think if you make it a big deal, then everyone else will make it a big deal. If you just have DH go out and tell your family and say something like - "Jksj is still getting cleaned up/ready so maybe just mom and sister first, and then others after she is more clothed" or something like that, then people won't take it as personally? I know when SIL gave birth, we all automatically let her mom and dad go in first, not just because of the baby, but mostly because it was their daughter who had just gone through a really intense experience and we knew they really wanted to see how SHE was doing!

cait5413

I have no idea. We just moved away from all family, so Dh's parents will come to town when I go back to work (2 1/2 weeks after delivery if baby comes on time--hopefully little one will be a little early!). My parents are only 3 hours away by car, so they will probably come before then, but we don't actually have a plan at this point. I'm not planning on telling anyone we're in labor, though, so hopefully no one will come til we get home. 

WinnieLou82

Probably my mom since she lives so close. DH's parents, his brother and our sister-in-law are two hours away so I'd imagine they wouldn't be too far behind.

lblu43

@Curls919 I think that's a great idea. My parents will be bringing DS. I think I'll talk to DH about having him in first to get some quiet bonding time, even if its only a few minutes. Maybe it'll be less overwhelming for him.  I could see him changing or feeling self conscious of his behavior if grandparents are there (He's 6).

jamiesc58

Like @Curls919I want our other kids to be the first to meet baby. I believe (if everything goes as planned) my in laws will have them so they can bring them to the hospital.

the_other_mother

Besides DH, it will probably be his mom. I plan on both our moms being in the room, but my parents won't mind letting the in-laws have the first go since it's their first grandchild and my parents 6th. 

ballofmeat

My DH and probably my mom will be in the delivery room. I guess it also depends on the time of day I deliver. If it's the middle of the night we won't call anyone until the next day. We don't plan on telling anyone I'm in labor except my parents so that they can help with our dog.

The thought of people out in the waiting room makes me anxious. I don't want to feel rushed. I would like a whole day with my LO before anyone comes to see us. But I also think I am a little more private than the average person. DH's parents are very easy going and I think will be very accommodating and understanding. 

bearsandbeets7

I agree with PP that if you make a big deal out of it, everyone else will too. When I had DD I was way too concerned about being fair to everyone and it was just way too much on me. While the baby is everyone else's grandchild, niece, ect keep in mind that you'll never get those first few moments with your baby back. In the end it doesn't really matter who meets baby first, just worry about you and your baby.  

emmeline714

I really have not thought about it. I just know the first to meet baby will be whoever gets there, and i won't let anyone know i am at the hospital until i am done giving birth to baby and depends what time i have her, if it is at night that i have her i will wait until the next day to let everyone know she has been born, i just know i don't want to be overwhelmed with a lot of visitors (both family sides are pretty big) after i give birth because i know it is a draining experience. My SIL when she had my nephews, we all just stopped to congratulate her and see my nephew for like 10 mins and left as she looked liked she just wanted to rest and not be bother look. I am pretty sure that is how i will be too.

SkiChic626

With DD it was my immediate family.  I was in labor for two days and ended up with a c-section, and I basically did a drive-by of everyone in the waiting room while they wheeled me to my room (DH's family and my family), but I was still so out of it they were all going to leave.  I told DH to tell my mom and sister to stay on the downlow, so they did.  I think my sister was the first to hold her, other than DH and me, obviously.

This time I'd like DD to be the first to meet her brother.  She'll likely be with my parents, and since I'll have a scheduled C, it'll be easier to coordinate timing of people coming to the hospital.  Quiet honestly, though, I'd like them all to wait at least several hours after my surgery to even come to the hospital.  I want time to not feel loopy anymore and to get a few breastfeeding sessions in before I get bombarded.

Ceventa

When I gave birth to DS I had my husband and sister in the room. The rest of the family met him when they wheeled him out to the nursery, they were waiting down the hall. I'm assuming it will be a similar situation. When the baby was being wheeled out they were still finishing me up, so little by little everyone trickled in to see me.

amccul20

I expect this time around i'd like my sister to bring my son to the hospital to meet baby first.   she'll throw a fit because I want son to meet baby before anyone else so i'll ask her to stay in the hall for a bit...

Whitmore1027

We are having our aunts (one on his side, one on mine) be the ones to tell everyone in the family when I go into labor. From there, people can come to the hospital as they please. But depending on how I am feeling, and how the labor is going, I may or may not let them in to see me. There is no way I can say now who I want to visit and when. All our family is in the metroplex, so I am sure everyone will be stopping by at some point. And we are a really close family.

lilpinky7878

I'm just having my husband and the godmother in the room with labor and delivery. In my birth plan i said I want no visitors till 2 hours after birth.....this is our first child and would like to spend time with her.  Also I thought about having the in-laws first but honestly when u have the in-laws up ur butt u be happy to not see them right away 

tmk0325

SO will be in delivery room with me.  I anticipate we will get both of our parents up there sometime within the next day.  I already told them I didn't want anyone waiting there while I give birth.

ThisisNumber3

I will have to remind DH that if I do end up in emergency C-Section that no one is to meet the baby until I do.  The last thing I would want is my MIL to hold my baby before I do.  

ginger819

With DD DH MIL and my mom were there when she was born. I held her first and then DH, then I'm not really sure which mom held her first as I was being cleaned up. She was born at 12:45 in the morning though so they left pretty shortly after she was born and after about two hours DH and I went to rest while the nurses took her to the nursery for a couple of hours, which was one of the only times we let her out of our room because we were so exhausted. The next day it was just whoever showed up got to see her. Our moms came back for a little while and my dad and a bunch of family friends. It was pretty nice because we got the whole night and morning with her before having to share her. 

I think this time will go similarly. If this baby is born during the day we'll probably take time with just the 4 of us (my dad will probably be watching DD while our moms are there for l&d again), but our moms will get to meet her first since they are in the room and my dad will probably see her when he brings DD. If he's born at night we probably won't let anyone visit until DD has come and gotten some time with her brother and us. 

tinkerbell11210

I want DD to be the first visitor. She is 6 and I already told her that she will be the first one to hold her sister after mommy and daddy.  She will be with my parents during labor. I have already told everyone that I do not want them waiting at the hospital. I will let them know when we are ready for visitors. 

Curls919

@midwestbaby - we didn't have anyone in the waiting room when i had DS. Our hospital purposely has a tiny, uncomfortable waiting area to discourage people from waiting anyway. I got to the hospital at about 8:30am and he was born after 9pm. I wasn't finished with the post labor stuff until well after 10pm. So even if they had been outside in the waiting room they would have had to leave before they met the baby because visiting hours were over.  They would have been so bored if they were there!

My brother and SIL had a "12 hour rule" with my nephew (they didn't want anyone visiting until 12 hours after he was born. With their second child he was born in the morning so we went to visit around dinner time. We definitely want several hours after delivery to get settled, rest, etc before we have people come to the hospital. 

Stephanie7693

I've never really worried too much about that. People are pretty good about asking if or when they should come. I'm hoping besides my husband that both our moms will be there when baby is born. I plan on having my kids and dad visit as soon as we are settled in our room for the rest of the stay, but if they came to l &D that would be ok as long as I'm cleaned up. Aside from that I don't think anyone else will come until the next day. If anyone shows up unannounced, like my husband's friend did with my last baby (it was the day after he was born), they just have to wait outside my room until I am decent. I don't mind visitors, or telling them thanks for coming but we need to rest or eat now. Just don't be afraid to let people know what you need, they will probably be very understanding 

DressageDarling

My parents. They live closer (2 hours) and are helping take care of our dog, so they will be up by us. My ILs live 7 hours away and with how they have been, I doubt they would rush up to see the baby anyway. No one will be waiting at the hospital during labor and we'll call my parents when we are ready to have visitors. 

texasmama2014

DD, and then I don't care. Probably grandparents then whoever.  I'm super selfish about letting others hold my babies, so the first "meeting" I doubt I'll hand the baby over, especially if I haven't breast fed yet.

kristynmac

I do not want anyone to know I am even in labor. I told DH he will be the only one in the room with me and DS is going to a friends house--that friends mom has agreed to bring him to the hospital when the baby is born. I made it clear to my family that I want a few uninterrupted hours of just our little family. My family can be overwhelming and has a history of bringing EVERYONE to the hospital and I really want to give DS time to bond with the baby before we let everyone see him.

pelorunningmama

DD will be the first to meet him. When she was born, I felt like I was attacked at the hospital with visitors as soon as we got out of the delivery room. It was insane. That will not be happening again. I am going to get myself cleaned up and have time to properly introduce our children to one another without others involved. DD will introduce her baby brother to both sets of grandparents and will share his name (if we've decided on one at this point). 

karlimonster

I'm really dreading this tbh. With our son EVERYONE was in the room waiting with us, nothing happened and I had a c-section. It was at least midnight before anyone saw him and it was too late for some so they were already home. This time I am planning a c-section for 40 weeks, if the baby doesn't arrive until then it will be much easier to plan. I am hoping that my friend can come to our house and watch our son or he will go to daycare. I want him to come and meet the baby first and I really don't want to see anyone else until I get home. Although I know that is not realistic. It was just TOO many people last time and such a hectic mess. 

mamaqdubu

I don't want anyone waiting at the hospital, and I absolutely plan on waiting a few hours (or however long I feel is reasonable) to clean up, bond, rest, and recover a bit before I open the doors to visitors. I would love to be one of those people who doesn't care about the order of visitors, but selfishly I know how much calmer and more relaxed my mom & dad will be then DH's family. After the delivery experience, I also feel like I will want to see my mom as a comfort factor.
DH's family comes with MIL,FIL, 2 SILs, one of their SO's, and a nephew, all of which will overstay their welcome and I will have to have come in shifts & stay only for 1/2 hr or however long I feel comfortable, and that seems more like a more draining activity for later in the day. 

Jaspertheyoungturnip

Luckily, we're having a home birth if all stays well and healthy. I think that'll make it easier for me to relax and prepare myself for others if I'm in the comfort of my own home. And my fiancé's immediate family is big, his parents, older sister and three younger siblings, so we'll probably go to them. 

beenabee

My parents and in-laws and probably siblings all at once 

jacmkelley

The more I contemplate it will be DH, DD, my parents and DH parents. I won't have everyone come to the hospital like I did last time. The next day everyone will be able to come. At least that's the plan, if I want more visitors I'll say so in the moment not before he is actually born. I want to know its my call.

MamaKSquared

I actually haven't even thought about this until now. I do know that I want only DH and I in the room when we give birth and for us to have some time to bond with baby. After that, I doubt I will care. Our birthing center will allow as many/few people to be in the room as we like, so that's not an issue. I guess this is something DH and I will need to talk over. 

jamiesc58

@BrunetteBabe722 we had all of my in laws come at once and only stay for about 1/2 hour. It was MIL/FIL, SIL with husband and 2 kids, other SIL with husband and 2 kids, and an aunt & uncle. They took turns holding the baby long enough to take a few pics and then all left. It was a lot of commotion but only for a little bit of time and it was nice to get it out of the way.

beenabee

@jamiesc58 this is my parents second grandchild (first boy) and my MIL/FIL first grandchild so they are all super eager and excited to meet him and plan on waiting in the waiting room when I'm laboring until I say it's ok to come in which I'm completely fine with. When my sister had her baby (first grandchild for my parents) there were SO many people coming and going, I was in the room when she delivered my niece but didn't end up holding her till later that night because of how many people were there and I swore to myself no one except immediate family is coming up on the first day or until I am ready 

Duffgurl

I personally like to keep it minimal with visitors. I think it should be more just immediate family. DH and I will be in the room. SIL should be watching our two LOs. Then of course our two sons will meet their new baby sister or brother. 

runsoncoffee

It will probably be my mom and maybe my brother if he chooses to come, but we aren't going to have anyone come to the hospital til after baby is already born. I want to take an hour or two for it to be just us as a new family of three! Hubby's parents live 2 and 8 hours away, so I don't think they'll visit until we are home.

AmandaG225

With DD, DH & both my parents were in the delivery room with me. My in-laws & brother in law were in the waiting room (that wasn't the plan but that's how it worked out).

This time around it will probably just be DH with me at the hospital. I'm fine with my dad being there too but I'm sure it sure how comfortable he would be by himself. My mom will be home with DD and my in-laws will be out of the country.

alyssajrob22

I really don't want anyone to know that I'm in labor for the main reason of not having people in the waiting room. That and I have this image in my head of my in-laws pacing around or calling every 30 minutes. But, I'm starting to think that I will want my mom to be there too. DH will obviously be there, but some other support might be nice. Plus, both of my parents live 2-4 hours away whereas the in-laws live 15 minutes from the hospital. Mainly though, I'd like a couple of uninterrupted hours with just me, DH, and the baby once he is born.

My is super relaxed about the whole situation and says that she will come if I want her in the room with me and DH. But she has also taken the pressure off of me by saying that she will not be offended if I decide against it. I have a feeling that it will be a last minute decision on my part.

BritMC18

The first person other than myself and hubby is my best friend... but that's because she's going to be in the room during labor/delivery as my labor coach/photographer. She'll probably leave the hospital an hour or so after the baby's birth. Then we don't plan on having any visitors for a few hours. We are strongly encouraging people to not wait in the waiting room, but to just hang out at our place until we text saying we're taking visitors. I'm just going to shoot a mass text out saying "We'll start accepting visitors at (insert time). I figure whoever gets there first gets the first looksie. Not going to make a huge deal out of it.

ramoseecology

I'm surprised how many people have family close by, that's nice. Perhaps I'm unusual---my mom will likely be in town (will be around for most of August, otherwise lives a plane ride away). My aunt lives a 3 hr plane ride away, and my dad and stepmom live across the country. So DH and then my mom. I'll let friends know after I've regained my senses so they will likely be next. My dad will fly out after the birth.