The paranoia is real...

karabearrr

Anyone else feeling paranoid, despite what doctors or friends have told you?

I am 8 weeks pregnant today, and 32 years old. I work in real estate and also coach volleyball First time getting pregnant! DH is 35 and works at a water plant.

Doctor said I can have a small cup of coffee a day, and I refuse to drink ANY. Of course, I'm tired all of the time, but I refuse to drink coffee or black tea. I know I can, I just don't want to risk it. Same thing with deli meat. 

Also, I had a major panic attack in week 7, because I think I got food poisoning from eating an undercooked burger, and had stomach cramps all night...crying and unable to sleep because I thought I was going to lose the baby. Anyone else having these moments early on? I'm wondering if it's just because it's my first time and I'm overweight, so I already do have a fear of not having a healthy baby...but I'm trying to stay positive, except when the hormones, emotions, and paranoia take over!

Gizmo1231

I think these feelings are normal. I would lie and tell you it gets better the second time around but I am still pretty paranoid too. I do drink coffee though 
stay calm- you are growing a healthy and beautiful baby who you will be paranoid about for the next 60 years- it doesn't end once baby arrives either! Take it easy and drink a cup of coffee 

penelope4612

I definitely had a turkey sandwich (heated in the microwave) and then got so paranoid after that I hadn't heated it enough that I decided that it wasn't worth eating any more deli meat (I rarely eat it so it's not like this is a huge lifestyle change for me).  Also I ate cheese ravioli and then realized the package said the cheese was "half pasteurized" or something (what does that mean??) and then freaked out.  I think it's at least partially a FTM thing - for those who have had a successful pregnancy despite not following all the "rules" it probably feels more comfortable than the unknown....  I have had coffee though.

phoenix870509

Right now I am having the hardest time keeping food down. Liquids, no problem, but food, not so much. I keep freaking out that baby's not getting everything he/she needs. My MIL is my life saver though. As long as I can keep fluids down I don't need to go to the hospital, and she tells me baby is getting what he/she needs, even if mommy really isn't.

I'm eating lunch meat ham and turkey dogs, or I was until it stopped appealing to me, and I was fine. I have a cup of tea when I feel like it and a small glass of wine on special occasions. As long as I am as sick as I have been, I know baby is in there thriving (lil stinker!) I'm a FTM, first time pregnant, too  

juliehollz13

I'm almost the same way but have calmed down lately. Even had a mimosa for brunch on Sunday for the first time since BFP. Keep in mind that there are women all over the world giving birth to healthy babies every day who live in countries with very different prenatal rules. Women in Europe drink wine, in Japan they continue to eat raw sushi (and BTW have the 3rd lowest infant mortality rate in the world, meanwhile the US with all it's rules is #38 on the list), in Russia we have no "cold deli" rules, my SIL in Australia said they only get 1 U/S and don't see the Dr. until 2nd trimester, etc., 

BTW - Singapore has the lowest infant mortality rate and their diet restrictions only have the following rules:

1. Avoid too much vitamin A (aka cod liver oil)
2. Avoid foods that may expose you to listeria
3. Avoid excessive caffeine - up to 300mg is ok (notice it's not "no coffee" and higher than the 200 rule in the US)
4. Avoid excessive alcohol - up to 2 drinks per week is ok (again, it doesn't say "no alcohol")

Just thought it was interesting. Everyone should do what they're comfortable with but just wanted to share that occasionally breaking a rule and eating something on the "no-no" list isn't going to hurt anything. 

Jdlc1991

I feel your pain! I am so paranoid about mostly the fish and the cheese.I do have my shot of espresso every morning, mostly because it helps me with my bathroom routine (Sorry if TMI) and I've heard bad things about women who get super constipated in pregnancy so I am trying to avoid that scenario, but I limit it to just that morning dose. I used to be a big coffee drinker during the day and I definitely feel the drag. Other than that I'm a crazy FTM too, you are not alone, I freak at every twinge and cramp and every little sensation. They say the worry starts at pregnancy and never goes away, since after this you become a parent and that's just a life time prescription of worrying. Good luck to us all! 

@penelope4612 I love cheese, and I've never heard about half pasteurized? That's super weird, I've been reading all my labels and even the most exotic of the supermarket cheeses seem to be fully pasteurized! 

karabearrr

Haha, thanks guys...I always feel better when I know I'm not the only one. My friends try to make me feel bad for freaking out so much, or refusing to eat certain foods...but I'd rather feel safe than regret it later. Like when I knew I shouldn't have ate that burger because it didn't look that well done..and of course I food poisoning right after. I never want to feel that way again! LOL

phoenix870509

Food poisoning sucks, no matter when you get it. I'm sorry you went through it. My friends made me feel bad for eating sushi, but you know what, it was a roll that had no raw fish in it. You do what you feel is right, and screw what anyone else thinks  

dmontgo

Besides feeling a little paranoid because I haven't had MS except one time a few weeks ago, I think I'm the least paranoid pregnant lady of all time.

I eat deli meats, sushi, I had a little beer (it was a chocolate stout, but I didn't drink it all), coffee, brie, my steaks cooked medium...

But OB said baby looks super healthy and measuring where it's supposed to, and my blood looks good. I think when we tell ourselves, "OK absolutely NO XYZ," we are making things unnecessarily difficult for ourselves. Kind of like going on a diet; it psyches us out when we cut out too many things, then we eat all the things. I'm just too lazy for all that.

slartybartfast

I think there are levels. I have my quirks all the time where I won't accept risk where other people often do and then will where others won't. I keep caffeine below 30 or 40 mg (a cup of green tea) and would cut it out all together except it helps with MS sometimes for me.
I don't drink any alcohol. However, I'm somewhat cavalier about lunch meat (I don't actually eat it that often anyway) and I do eat raw salmon sushi rolls from a place I always get it and never get sick from. My midwives are cool with it.

I won't ride a bike once my belly pops but I'll do inversions and yoga and ab exercises as long as they feel okay.

I also 100% of the time have miscarriage in the back of my head. With DS, once he started moving, he never stopped til he was born and that was a constant reminder he was fine. If this one is different, I'll struggle with that.

However, none of these fears feel debilitating. I think if you start feeling like the anxiety just mounts and drives your day, talk to your midwife or OB. It's common and something you can definitely get support for. It's also something that's not healthy to let run your life and pregnancy.

LinziLoo09

Yea last pregnancy, I started off all pure, but by the end was eating sushi, drinking wine, eating my soft cheeses. Essentially if you avoid everything on the Avoid list, you'll be restricted to water. Everything can be contaminated. This pregnancy, MS has kept me away from sushi, but I did eat the most delicious medium rare steak from a fancy restaurant on Saturday. 

With symptoms like this, it's hard to enjoy any part of pregnancy unless I give a little on the stupid rules. 

slartybartfast

phoenix870509 - my first pregnancy I used to just weep at the guilt I had for not being able to eat. I was told again and again that baby was getting what he needed but I just felt like I had the hope of eating so healthy while nourishing my LO directly and couldn't do it all.

This time I'm totally not feeling that anxiety and it's making it all SO MUCH MORE manageable. I used to obsessively mentally run through healthy food options to see if anything sounded like it'd make it down. It was psychological torture. Now I'm just like. Whatever.

Baby is totally getting what he/she needs. In the meantime, I am not going to torture myself it a few bowls of rice chex compose all my calories for the day.

doodleoodle

I'm super paranoid, but I wasn't with my first. I ate whatever I wanted (mostly Chick-fil-A and Wendy's) and by the end of my pregnancy I had full on pregnancy face. I was pretty surprised that my baby was born at less than 6 pounds, even though I'm 5ft and have always been somewhat petite. This baby was conceived within 6 months of my baby's birthday which has increased the risk of low birth weight. I'm trying really hard to eat a lot of healthy protein and green vegetables, but I haven't been successful every day and I just feel so guilty. So caffeine, wine etc. is out for me. I'm just too nervous.

ashleaf2018

I was very paranoid this time around especially after my MMC in October, but my OB has been so awesome every time I call with something I'm worried about. She reminded me that this is a completely different pregnancy, and that I just have to do everything I can to have a healthy pregnancy. She also reminded me that most of the time, nothing can prevent a first trimester miscarriage because it's usually something to do with chromosomal abnormalities that we couldn't fix even if we wanted to. It is scary to admit that you don't have as much control over the situation as you would like, but it's comforting to me to know the difference between what I can do to help and what I have no control over.

Christinaruth74

Breathe! I had awful anxiety my entire pregnancy with DD, so I am trying to be a little more relaxed this time around. I also know that there are triggers for me- like watching/reading things that involve miscarriages or anything tragic involving a baby. It's crazy, but I watched a movie with a late MC when I was pregnant with DD and the next day was in L&D having a panic attack and having my baby monitored because I swore she wasn't moving. 
The mind is a crazy thing. Just give yourself some room for "error" and know that you are doing the best you can❤️

aevan011

I'm going to second @ashleaf2018 , I had a MMC in December and basically have been told all of the same things she mentioned above. I still have some paranoid/anxious thoughts at times but I know I'm doing what I need to do for a healthy baby. I still have coffee here and there, and will probably have wine occasionally. I find that it really helps to just talk about my fears either with my husband, doctor, or therapist. They'll never go away completely but it helps.
I'm so sorry you dealt with food poisoning! That would probably freak me out too. 

JulieSmiles

I was super anxious about lots of things until recently. Part of it is your hormones adjusting. Hopefully you will feel better soon.

Habrsk87

I was just like this with my first pregnancy. I am so much more relaxed in my third pregnancy. I did eventually relax a bit during my first. I was probably half way through and enjoyed cold cuts but refused coffee. With my second, coffee was my pal and I ate old cuts whenever I desired. My third is kicking my butt though! If I didn't have an aversion to coffee, meat and cheese I would indulge. It's okay do what your comfortable with and try not to worry too much about the small stuff. 

mimi603107

I've been pregnant 6 times, 3 miscarriages, 2 healthy little boys and currently, and I feel like there's always something that you'll be worried about. I've pretty much gotten over my paranoia of food related stuff after my 2nd son. It does help for me that I've never been a big drinker, don't eat a lot of deli meat normally and don't drink coffee for the caffeine just the taste, so I just drink decaf (although I haven't really drank any coffee this pregnancy because I've felt so sick )This pregnancy I've been more worried about things I can't control, like the Zika virus and when my blood work came back that I wasn't immune to rubella...I was like "what the heck does that mean?!" 

mysteryship

I take an antidepressant, and had a lot of worries while TTC about whether to go off it or not. My OB and regular doc recommended I stay on it until the 3rd tri, they both said it's better for baby to have a less anxious/depressed mom and that outweighs the risk of the drug. That helped me feel less selfish about taking it, and I try not to worry. But it does make me more cautious about other things like alcohol and deli meat, because I feel like I'm already taking something potentially risky every day...

Toller

I go through phases of worry...... last night (not thinking) I had a craving for a hotdog so I grilled them for dinner (I NEVER eat hotdogs...) and was thinking not to eat them because of the nitrates- so I bought nitrate free, totally forgetting about the listeria part.... well I remembered like a half hour later and pretty much was worried for the rest of the night. Eventually I found informative website that said listeria poisoning can be treated and will not cause miscarriage except rarely, so I felt a lot better after that! Most of those dumb websites dont say anything about treatment!!!!! Basically if you get a fever/diarrhea- go get checked out.......

I try to do everything "right" but  If I loose my babies cuz I ate a hotdog...... well- then I guess that's what happened- can't control everything!! I try to remind myself of that......

This is our final chance at pregnancy (we have severe MFI) so I think I get worked up more than most. Last time I ate deli meat... not sure if I'll be able to this time. I hate being crazy.

slartybartfast

I remembered this morning that during last pregnancy I got a small spot of very mild excema on my wrist and ran to my doc convinced I had scabies. She just looked at me like... Oh dear

juliehollz13

@Toller02 - precooked meats carry a risk of listeria because of the off chance that they were under cooked when originally processed (as lunch meat and hot dogs say "fully cooked" on the packaging). If you grilled your hot dogs you're fine, it would have killed any listeria. That's why the foods on the listeria risk list need to be heated up, just in case. Once warm they have no risk of harming you. That's why this frozen vegetable recall is a little over-dramatized because who's going to eat a bowl of frozen broccoli without cooking it first? 

ashleaf2018

@juliehollz13 Exactly right about the listeria thing! That's also why I have refused any prepackaged salads, just because that's not something I heat up so if it has listeria contamination, I would be toast.

Kacie209

FTM here and mainly reading what everyone else has said. I have some paranoia... mainly just the fact if I am carrying a baby in me at the moment. I feel like I am the only one on this board that has had a u/s yet, so I just sit and wait - and hope that the hungover feeling I feel 80% of the time is my sign. I don't have my first appointment until June 3, which is average around here I guess. Good stuff.

I do worry about the deli meats thing, and eat them off and on anyway. That hasn't stopped me from going to places like Potbelly or Firehouse Subs for lunch, though! I just make sure they heat it up. I have changed what I get at Panera, but realize that the turkey I get isn't deli so I should be OK. Also, I read that most food places like that turn over their meat so fast that listeria has a small chance of even being on it. However, this Friday we're having lunch with one of our nephews at school and they're serving turkey sandwiches, and I'm just bringing my own PB&J... just in case.

I also had a hotdog on Saturday that was grilled, but then put in a crock pot to keep hot... so I just took one that was towards the bottom just in case. It was for a nephews birthday party, so definitely kid friendly food.

Toller

@juliehollz13 thanks for the extra info about the listeria- I was thinking that it got on the meat AFTER they were cooked for some reason!? And the frozen veggies..... I was wondering how exactly that all worked!! Makes total sense about cooking the veggies first........ I guess some people might throw raw veggies into a smoothie? I had been cooking mine pre-smoothie just because it seemed better for digestion- guess I'll just keep doing that to make sure there's no issues.

thanks for help keeping the crazies at bay

juliehollz13

Toller02 said:

@juliehollz13 thanks for the extra info about the listeria- I was thinking that it got on the meat AFTER they were cooked for some reason!? And the frozen veggies..... I was wondering how exactly that all worked!! Makes total sense about cooking the veggies first........ I guess some people might throw raw veggies into a smoothie? I had been cooking mine pre-smoothie just because it seemed better for digestion- guess I'll just keep doing that to make sure there's no issues.

thanks for help keeping the crazies at bay

@Toller02 only frozen fruit and vegetables were affected, not fresh ones, and only certain brands. Most of them with a "use by" date of April 2016, so most would have been expired anyway. 

fauxpa-2

@Kacie209 I haven't had an u/s yet either.  My appointment is on June 2nd, so until then I'm just taking all of my symptoms as a good sign. 

I'm surprisingly less nervous than I thought I'd be while pregnant.  I'm a huge worrier, but have been oddly calm about most stuff.  Food-wise it helps that I have a health inspector in the family so I know what restaurants are clean, and also all the food rules to avoid contamination.  Also I think my intense food aversions in general have helped me worry less.  Basically if it sounds good and I think I can keep it down I'm eating it!

R0824H

paranoia is extremely real. I go from one extreme to another it seems sometimes. I'll freak out about "ohh I cant have that because it could cause X" and then other days i'm all "I'm not going to live in a bubble, gimme all the hot dogs, deli meat and soft serve ice cream". I think trying to find that happy medium of cautiousness and being relaxed is key

Amdogger82

Hold the phone.  Are we not supposed to eat soft serve???

Kacie209

@Fauxpa Oh yay for having a close appointment! I check the U/S post every day and see SO many that have already had one, or many (for a variety of reasons, I know).

@amdogger82 - I read that too, cos raw eggs are in it. IDK, but sometimes ice cream is the only thing that tastes good.

ashleaf2018

juliehollz13 said:

@Toller02 only frozen fruit and vegetables were affected, not fresh ones, and only certain brands. Most of them with a "use by" date of April 2016, so most would have been expired anyway. 

I had heard that the Dole prepackaged salads were also affected. Not the frozen ones, but the ones in a bag. And then just recently Quaker recalled their quinoa granola bars. Stay aware of the recalls, ladies! Especially on items that you wouldn't normally heat up.

doodleoodle

Kacie209 said:

@Fauxpa Oh yay for having a close appointment! I check the U/S post every day and see SO many that have already had one, or many (for a variety of reasons, I know).

@amdogger82 - I read that too, cos raw eggs are in it. IDK, but sometimes ice cream is the only thing that tastes good.

I've never heard of soft serve having raw eggs in it. I thought you were supposed to avoid it because the machine it's kept in may not be kept clean enough and may be a breeding ground for listeria. 

aevan011

I was told soft serve is about the machine cleaning as well. I think the raw egg thing comes from people freaking out over custard - but eggs are generally cooked even in custard, and pasteurized before that. 

jenlynne0624

@amdogger82 nope because it's rare for places to clean the machines properly so listeria is a thing. I live 2 minutes from DQ and was there almost weekly when pregnant with my son.

fauxpa-2

Amdogger82 said:

Hold the phone.  Are we not supposed to eat soft serve???

That was my exact reaction to hearing about soft serve.

Amdogger82

@jenlynne0624 Thanks...I'm a FTM and have been pretty by the book/paranoid so far, but I may just have to let DQ be the risk I am willing to take! 

jenlynne0624

@Amdogger82 Relax and enjoy that s'more blizzard. And the deli meat. And the coffee. And the soft cheese. Everything in moderation and you'll be fine. I started by the book and ended up not so much and it's all fine. I have a friend who eats sushi multiple times a week while pregnant. You'll be fine.

ashleaf2018

Honestly, just about everything is a risk while pregnant. It's all about being informed on what those risks are and making that decision for yourself. I've never gotten listeria from eating soft serve, but that's probably because every time I crave soft serve, their ice cream machine is broken. 

Kacie209

OK, I definitely read the reasons for soft serve incorrectly then! Yup, DQ is a few blocks from my house and has been a quick stop after work some days just cos it sounds good and nothing else that I have forced down my throat that day really did!

I know after my SIL gave birth to her youngest, she immediately asked someone to go get her a Jimmy Johns sandwich, cos she hadn't had one the entire time. I think those will be good in moderation, and if concerned... go to a place where you know the meat will be heated.

beff12

I was semi-anxious my first pregnancy because it was all new...you guys know how that goes. Last pregnancy I was super anxious, and that one unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. I feel more confident this time around. 

My best advice would be to STAY OFF THE GOOGLE! Google will tell you 98% of the time that you are having a miscarriage or that your baby is going to grow a second head or that you're definitely coming down with an incurable disease. Just don't do it. Ask here, call your mom, ask your friend that's been pregnant before, call your doctor. Even if you think it's stupid, it's not, so don't google.