Things I said while I was laboring

tgortney

Since a lot of us have had our babies and went through laboring. I thought it would be fun to share what we said to our SO or support person while we were surviving the hellish contractions.

DH grimaced in sympathy every time I had a contraction. When I saw his face, it pissed me off because it verified that I was definitely in pain. So I told him to stop making that face or get out of my face.

ETA: Poor guy had to hold my hand to support me but try to keep blank face at the same time

I also made everyone in the room eat outside because if I smelled the food, I would just be pissed off. All I could have was jello and ice chips. DH ended up eating my jello too...

JoMunson

DH kept telling me to make my vocalisations low like they said to do in birth class, eventually I had to tell him to stop saying that every five minutes.

lalala2004

For me it was because of laughing gas. I don't exactly regret anything I said, but my husband was pretty embarrassed when I told the nursing student who went to Texas Tech that I visited Lubbock, TX because "A guy I dated went there. Not him, though" (pointing at my husband). Not exactly appropriate while giving birth to his child. Oops!

TheThornBird

When a contraction would start, I'd tell MH what to do (rub my arm, put his hand on my forehead, etc). In the middle of the contraction, I'd yell at him "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY ARM STOP DOING THAT!"  Poor guy didn't know what to do. 

The man is a trooper, though! He was down in the thick of things helping out (I had a rough delivery). After delivery when I was still pretty loopy, he was watching when they did the belly pushing to get blood out and I yelled "stop watching that, I need you to play with that thing in the future!". 

LadyStardust179

When I would have a contraction DH would ask "are you alright?" After a few times I got annoyed and said "Don't ask me that" with big eye roll and super pissy face.

kbrands7

I was bossy too, though DH says he was thankful for it since we didn't expect me to labor, and especially not to transition. Just before I got the shot to slow contractions, I  remember telling him to please press the acupressure point on the ball of my foot. He was flustered and asked which foot. My reply was, "I don't care which f*&#ing foot. Just grab what you can reach and press it now!" We laugh about it now.

wamam027

DH kept saying over and over "focus on the sound of my voice", eventually I got irritated by that and told him "shut the eff up, YOU try focusing on the sound of MY voice while a gigantic baby works his or her way down YOUR pelvis and out YOUR vagina". I also said out loud "I really hope this kid enjoys being an only child, because there's no way in hell I'm going through this again". Well, now that she's here I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but I remember thinking that over and over again while I was in transition and pushing. Whoops! 

seasalt123

When I was pushing my son out, the doctor joyously called out 'we can see the head' and I responded 'which one?'

gardenandread

I just know at several points my husband kept telling me to breathe through the pain, and finally I snapped at him, "I am breathing- shut up!"

More awkwardly my delivery nurse was one of my students moms- whom I hadn't met yet- although she knew all about me.  I told her it was most likely to go down as my weirdest parent meetings ever.  She was such a great nurse though, and so helpful!

ayeshaohara

This is awesome. My husband told me I was a total bitch. He was reminding me take big breaths and I told him to shut up. He was annoyed because I didn't tell the nurses to shut up when they told me the same thing. Also I hated him touching me...so I told him to stop, so he went and sat in the corner of the room. Then I said, I didn't tell you to sit down, just stop touching me. So great!!! I think I was hilarious...he doesn't..

yogahh

I told dh he want going to just sit in a chair and play on his phone the whole time... As I was dragging an iv drip to the bathroom to pee for the 47 time. He told me I should call a nurse for help, to which I snapped "then why are you here?" Am I sorry about it though? Not really.. 

LadySamLady

I was surprisingly tame during labor. I didn't yell at my H or my mom at all. I was really in the zone!

seasalt123

yogahh said:

I told dh he want going to just sit in a chair and play on his phone the whole time... As I was dragging an iv drip to the bathroom to pee for the 47 time. He told me I should call a nurse for help, to which I snapped "then why are you here?" Am I sorry about it though? Not really.. 

Omg I hated dragging that IV drip while crawling to the bathroom during back to back contractions. I almost cheered when they showed up to insert a catheter. 

tgortney

@meghanfrazier08 my delivery nurse actually went to the same college and was in the same sorority as me. Though we never met in person, we were Facebook friends and had sisters who were mutual friends. Let me tell you, it's kinda awkward that she shaved my pubic hairs to prepare for the c-section and afterwards, when she pressed the blood out every hour or so...

@seasalt123 omg yes! I have a broken foot and use a scooter, it was awful trying to use the bathroom through contractions AND scooter my way to the bathroom. I couldn't wait for the catheter!! The nurse thought I was crazy.

DutchLucyLu

My IV wasn't in yet while I was already at 10cm (they wanted to get it in before checking dilation again, so I didn't officially know I was at 10 at this point), because everything suddenly went very fast and then they had a really hard time getting it in because my contractions were so close together.

Lucy: You need to hurry up because I'm feeling a lot of pressure down there. It really feels like I need to poop, and we all know what that means!
Nurse: What does that mean?
Lucy: Well, either that I'm going to poop or that I'm going to have a baby real soon!

ETA: I didn't poop, but I did have a baby very soon after that.  

baby-2-due

My mom and SO were in the room while I was labouring, only SO while I pushed. Every time I got a contraction my mom would see it in the monitor and say "Oh, here we go!" I finally had to tell her to stop saying that because I COULD FEEL THEM and didn't need her to announce it every time. It was just making me mad! Then while I was pushing the dr said LO was crowning and asked if I wanted to feel her scalp. I yelled no just get her out!! I was pain med free and was ready to be done lol

JoMunson

Once Ezra started crowning the midwives got their equipment together and between contractions I asked what all that stuff was, they said it was stuff for the baby and I said "oh, right, the $76 baby kit. I'll pay for it"

TXmamatobe

During my last labor I told DH that he'd better find someone to go get me a Gatorade and have it ready by the time the baby came and I was allowed to drink it. He said ok and asked me what flavor - I said, "f'in fruit punch, what else?!?!" - like he should have known. I drink Gatorade from time to time and it's always a different flavor so there was no way he could have known. Anyway, when I was allowed to have food and drinks, my FIL strolled in with a variety pack from Costco and a second, giant pack of fruit punch. He said it was just in case I changed my mind  what a guy. 

we still laugh about this and I still feel horrible that I was so crazy about a drink. 

businessmama

When it came time to push, they raised the bed and turned on the bright lights. Then it felt like the room was crowded because there were like 6 nurses and doctors. I looked at my DH and said "I bet this is what Britney Spears feels like when she performs Circus."

sooooo random

Kennedy0830

Mine wasn't me yelling at DH but me yelling at my OB. God love her but girl likes to chatter and was telling jokes while baby's head was 1/3 the way out and she was having me hold off on pushing until the rest of the nursing staff showed up (I got an epi but it was wearing off to where I was starting to feel contractions only which made me want to push every contraction to get some relief) and luckily DH said "do you like it better when I don't talk?" AKA getting the OB to shut the F up. Then as she is stitching me up (I had no idea she cut me from my vagina to my anus until it was all said and done), and it was taking forever and I snapped "HOW MANY STITCHES ARE YOU PUTTING IN ME?". I think I was over it at that point.

tgortney

@Kennedy0830 ouch I am so sorry about your rough experience (aka the cut  )


@maybaby0519 I hated it when DH would do that!! I told him to stop and just tell me when they would go down!

That1didntcount

Me (still in denial/disbelief as she was crowning): "Oh so we're really doing this?" 

The tech: "well we can come back tomorrow if you like"

Bltbear82

Me, as they broke the bed down to start pushing: No more babies, ok? Two and done. 

DH, laughing: ok sure. 

Me, holding DS for the first time: So, maybe one more?

yogahh

Bltbear82 said:

Me, as they broke the bed down to start pushing: No more babies, ok? Two and done. 

DH, laughing: ok sure. 

Me, holding DS for the first time: So, maybe one more?

I told DH during labor that I wasn't having any more. Now I am thinking of sib set name with Harper. I like Zoey if the next one is a girl

wsgjmw1

DH was rubbing my head which he claims he was doing lovingly and gently but the way I felt it was totally different and I guess during the pushing part of labor I told him to " stop squeezing my head you're hurting me"! Lol 

JoMunson

yogahh said:

Bltbear82 said:

Me, as they broke the bed down to start pushing: No more babies, ok? Two and done. 

DH, laughing: ok sure. 

Me, holding DS for the first time: So, maybe one more?

I told DH during labor that I wasn't having any more. Now I am thinking of sib set name with Harper. I like Zoey if the next one is a girl

I was the same way! During labor I said "we need to find a different way to have more kids!" But now I definitely want more!

anijman

I had a pain meds free delivery. Needless to say, I'm still not at the point of saying I want another child (my LO is already 1 month old lol). But during labor my OB got all of the yelling at. I told my SO to get my OB and cut this thing out of me right now!! Then when I had to start pushing, my OB was helping me along and I yelled at him to get his hands out of me! I also asked/yelled at him if he even knew what he was doing, because I was certain in my head that it wasn't time yet and he was just forcing me to push. Finally I told everyone in the room that I was going to sleep and would try again tomorrow, while baby's head was already crowning. Me and SO think its super hilarious now, but I was soo dead serious then and still not fully over it lol.

Soontobejones33

Before my 5 hour push fest they rolled in the cart for the birth with all the tools. By hour 3 i was telling anyone who would listen to get the forceps or something to get him out. Even threatened to do it myself at one point as the epi didn't last long. 

itsbrookejones

Husband decided it was a good time to sleep while I was laboring. Like, sleeping so hard I couldn't wake him when I needed him to support me. Pissed me off so much I would holler at him that if I can't sleep he couldn't either lol. Also, the pain meds they gave me made me say all sorts of things. "I feel drunk! I haven't felt drunk in months, it's amazing!" 

KyleeWaller

My in-laws came to the door to check in when I was in active labor. A nurse (bless her, all of the nurses were amazing), came in first to ask me if I was okay with it...

Nurse: Grandparents are here, can they come in? 

Me: *deep in throes of labor, hears in-laws outside door*

Me: *extremely loudly*  THEY'RE NOT MY MOM!!!

Later, everyone saw the baby and all was well. At the time, though, the mere thought of anyone coming in the room other than my mom (and DH, who was already there) was a no go. 

H0neyC0mb

I had a home birth. At one point I remember saying, "I understand why they want all the drugs now! I want all the drug now!" I wasn't even to the 7 and a half hours of pushing yet.   

NinnyJean

I was pretty calm during labor, partially because my kidneys stopped and I was on magnesium so I was pretty out of it, so I didn't yell at anyone. I woke up at one point though after having been given nubane and started talking about a man with a balloon, needless to say DH was very confused since I was talking about something I had been dreaming about. 

I also told the nurse how adoption looked like a really good idea and she reminded me that it was too late to go that route

hellogoodbye2

Even though this is my 2nd birth and I distinctly remember the pressure of being 10cm, this time I was still convinced I was going to poop everywhere. "No really nurse, I AM going to poop" was said numerous times! 

arj14

I think I said some weird things after I finally got the epidural, but the whole thing is kind of just a blur... though my midwife did say I was one of her most polite patients ever even when I was in pain.    

gingerbride26

So we had a rather short but dramatic birth... didn't have much opportunity but got a couple good ones in...
1. DH said to stop thinking about the pain and breathe during early labor...I told him I'd squeeze his balls every 4 min and see how he handled it
2. Can't remember exact context but threatened to "fist your a--hole" after some more expert husband birthing advice... with one or two shut ups thrown in
3. Woke up after about 2 hours of drug induced sleep high as a kite and in full blown advanced labor... told the nurse I saw some awesome purple elephants and that I vaguely remembered either my water breaking or peeing myself but wasn't sure which... it was my water
4. When I hit 6 and they made it sound like I had hours still and I'd hit my pain ceiling I started yelling for drugs/epi like it was a safe word (never got the epi because I was at 10 cm 15 min later and crowning)
5. During pushing when she fully crowned they asked if I wanted to feel the head to which I vehemently said no - in a super deep devil voice, which cracked everyone up for some reason. Then I let out a "blood curtling" scream during push #2 which has given DH nightmares
6. Right after she was born and they were checking her out I asked if her toes were webbed all freaked out (FIL has them)

Jparke2

@gingerbride26 your elephants vision reminds me of horses I was seeing when I was tripping on stadol. Mentally, I totally knew what was going on, but I was having some super weird visions with my eyes shut. DH was talking to his brother on the phone and I remember saying "ok, this is going to sound weird and I know that, but every time you speak, I see thousands of colorful horses!" Stadol was a fun drug.

khochanadel

Jparke2 said:

@gingerbride26 your elephants vision reminds me of horses I was seeing when I was tripping on stadol. Mentally, I totally knew what was going on, but I was having some super weird visions with my eyes shut. DH was talking to his brother on the phone and I remember saying "ok, this is going to sound weird and I know that, but every time you speak, I see thousands of colorful horses!" Stadol was a fun drug.

I had stadol too, before we knew my back pain was active labor. My husband kept taking about the little room they had for patient snacks, called the " Nourishment Centre". To distract me, he'd list off things in there, saying 'diet coke is nourishing, isn't it?' Etc. Etc. 

I didn't get what he was trying to do, so in front of ask the nurses and everyone I giant just yelled "what the fuck are you talking about? "

BeansMom2014

My labor moved too fast for me to get my beloved epi so I was forced to go all natural. I was PISSED. My husband was trying to comfort and coach me and joyfully said "you're a pioneer woman!" I replied, loudly, "I don't want to be a Fing pioneer woman"! Gave the nursing team a good laugh, I guess. And probably the people in the room next door....I wasn't a quiet laboror. 

kszelagowski

I told my husband to rub my arm. He then got yelled at for... You guessed it, rubbing my arm. 

Once baby girl was out, I asked the doctor if she was still a girl.

That1didntcount

kszelagowski said:

I told my husband to rub my arm. He then got yelled at for... You guessed it, rubbing my arm. 

Once baby girl was out, I asked the doctor if she was still a girl.

There was a lot of rub my hips - and then of course, yelling at him for touching me. Sorry, not sorry!!

hellogoodbye2

BeansMom2014 said:

My labor moved too fast for me to get my beloved epi so I was forced to go all natural. I was PISSED. My husband was trying to comfort and coach me and joyfully said "you're a pioneer woman!" I replied, loudly, "I don't want to be a Fing pioneer woman"! Gave the nursing team a good laugh, I guess. And probably the people in the room next door....I wasn't a quiet laboror. 

With my first, the epi was amazing and pushing was a breeze. This time, the epi didn't take....I got the baby out, but holy hell, I could never go "med-free" again!