Rant...feeling undervalued — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Rant...feeling undervalued

it goes without being said that we love our SOs but and this may be the sleep deprivation talking but I'm super pissed at my dh. My work has doubled, stm sahm ebf here and always getting comments here and there, "what do you do all day"; "I don't get to sleep in til 9or 10 like you"and what not. I took the kids to a sing along today so he had 2.5 hour alone on a Saturday. Yesterday he went fishing. I'm doing breathing treatments with my eldest every two to four hours round the clock for a bad sinus infection. He went to bed after dinner pouting that the kids were to crazy. I wish I could nap during the day! 1am last night I was bouncing dd on the exercise ball thinking wtf. Y is he so freaking tired and y am I so undervalued. 

Re: Rant...feeling undervalued

  • nackienackie member
    He thinks you're sleeping in with an infant?  He sounds really out of touch, I'm sorry.  How often does he have to take care of them by himself?  Maybe if you left them alone for a half a day or made him get up with you at night he'd appreciate how hard it is.
    My DH complains about being tired all the time too and I can't figure out why, he never even wakes up when the baby cries
    Hipshaker
  • ekscoppekscopp member
    Men just don't get it sometimes. Every time I complained when I was on maternity leave he would say how he would love to get to stay home all day and sit around. Sit around? Oh yea, sure. Then he even told me once that he has done it before (he has 2 kids from a previous marriage) and it isn't as hard as I make it out to be. Sometimes I wish I could slap him! Esp when I had to work today and he didn't so I asked him to put my LO back to sleep who thought it was playtime. He brought her back in 5 min later and put her in her bassinet wide awake. Real helpful.... 
    2winterbabiesHipshaker
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  • I get exactly how you feel, my husband works 10hrs a day (I know that can be pretty tough). whenever he gets home I always get comments such as, why didn't you put a load of my work clothes on, or the usual "what did you do all day". I get very annoyed, upset, and frustrated with him. I take care of a newborn baby all day, I don't get much sleep, and when baby naps I take advantage of that time and have a nap as well to catch up on much needed rest! 
    heres to hoping one day they get it and can replace those comments with something nice to hear "thanks for making dinner, even though you were pretty busy with the baby" or something along those lines eh?! 
    acastl24
  • He's never had both of them by himself for more than fifteen minutes. He knows he can't do it. So I don't know why he expects so much from me. It's because I did it all before with one. Two is different.
  • A little thanks would go a long way! He finally planted our live Christmas tree we bought this past Christmas today. It's been sitting in a planter on the deck since Christmas !. I sent him a text thanking him and told him I liked where he put it when he got home from work. And he has the nerve to say I didn't praise him enough for doing it. What do want, a card?
    ctmamaoftwomom2be2016
  • I feel the same! Though SO doesn't make negative remarks, he isn't much help either. I usually get 6 hours of sleep at night and he works 12 hour night shift so when he wakes up in the afternoon I ask him if he can feed LO to give me a little break but he's "too tired". And he's done the same when I try to take a rare nap and will lay LO in the pack n play in our room while he's wide awake so he can "cry it out and take a nap too". But he FINALLY watched him while I napped one day, it ended up being a 5 hour nap; I was so tired! 
    HipshakerJanMommy2under2
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