October 2016 Moms

Circumcision- BE NICE TO EACH OTHER

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Re: Circumcision- BE NICE TO EACH OTHER

  • agogo1agogo1 member
    @nlane0723 That's cool, glad to hear that you have other reasons. You did specifically say that if you were to have boys, they would be circumcised "based on the photos, videos, and personal story" of the man that you are working with. I wouldn't have commented if you had mentioned additional justification for your decision. 

    There's no universal right or wrong here, ladies. It's already been said, but...get the facts, decide what is best for you and your family. 
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  • jbal918jbal918 member
    edited May 2016
    We are curcumsizing but it's definitely to each their own! I had a girl message me on FB telling me I can't do that to my son without even asking what I was doing and frankly it isn't her business so I ignored her... She proceeded to then send me videos and links on why I shouldn't do it... She also messaged me for other stuff I shouldn't do so I blocked her now. 
    Some of her other stuff was don't get a OB, only a midwife and don't let them put the cream on the babies eyes when he is born.

    Edited because I can't type today 
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  • von1976von1976 member
    My hubby is circumcised, as is his entire family. My entire family is not. I'd rather leave our child born the way he is. I see it as unnecessary genital mutilation. Ultimately, I think it will be my husband's decision, but I'm encouraging him to do some research. 

                                                                                                           
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  • Maybe I'm wrong about this, but...I don't think I've ever heard of a man who wished he had not been circumcised as a baby. On the flip side, I have heard of plenty of men who wished they had been circumcised as a baby. Between that and DH's wishes to do so, we would circumcise any son we might have. (this one is a girl)
  • @strickland8052 Do a little bit of digging.  There are a ton of stories about men who have pain from the scars of the circumsicion, where they have had to go back later as an adult and have the scars removed, modified, etc. Sometimes the skin that is left doesn't heal correctly and actually causes issues with performance, etc.  Of course no one comes right out and speaks about that.  You can however find many groups of men who talk about wishing to go back to uncut online.  There are even procedures that some men go through to try to stretch the foreskin back again.
  • Our boys are both circ'd and if this baby were a boy, he would be too. 
  • @strickland8052 My husband says all the time he wishes he wasn't. While researching, there's actually a device that can help men lengthen their foreskin again to mimic not being circumcised. I don't know the validity of it since I saw it on a blog, but I would think something like that could potentially work. 
  • I left it up to my H for the final say with DS but I wasn't opposed. I'm a part of a ton of different mother groups on FB and this is always a major hot-button issue and people get CRAY. I absolutely LOVE IT when moms scream at me for being a genital mutilator, butcher, etc. That's the best way to get your point across, amirite?

    If this babe is a boy then we will probably circ because it is something H feels strongly about. 

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  • jeng100jeng100 member
    kmolleltz said:
    As mentioned in the previous thread on circumcision, the tribe DH belongs to has very specific circumcision rituals. He was circumcised twice (ouch) once as an infant, and the second time as his passage to manhood at 14. During the circumcision you must not budge; don't move a muscle or even blink. You can face only one direction until the operation is completed. The slightest movement on your part will mean you are a coward, incompetent and unworthy to be a Masai man. 
    I don't even know if it's safe to google something like this but maybe try looking up Masai Male Circumcision if you're interested... haha. They take the skin and tie it underneath so it heals I guess kinda like a giant skin tag? I don't know how to describe it but I find it super interesting. 
    (I found this description, maybe it helps make sense of it :: he cuts a semicircular slit at the base of the foreskin and threads the penis head through it. Then he removed all but the ventral ' seam' of the foreskin. This ndelelia - a good inch-long flap of skin - is left to chase evil spirits out of a woman' s vagina during intercourse and to protect him against venereal diseases. Supposedly it also gives women added pleasure and so makes them prefer the warriors to uncircumcised males. )

    We've decided to have our boys circumcised as infants (if we ever have boys). Because our children will be of mixed race they will not be forced to have the "transition to manhood" circumcision.  Our son we are trying to adopt is not circumcised and so we plan to do it as soon as possible after bringing him home as he is already 2.5 years old. Culturally here it is considered shameful if you reach your 20s and you have yet to be circumcised. 


    So YEAH heres a long cultural explanation. 
    I too love hearing your stories! I studied the Masai tribe in one of my college anthropology courses, and found their culture absolutely fascinating! 
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  • Cricket99 said:
    *lurking from Jan16*

    If you want an fairly objective look at the reasons Americans circumsize as well as the process, look up the YouTube video "The Elephant in the Hospital." I let my husband decide if we would circumsize, and even though he is, he decided that we would not circumsize any boys we have. It's a very personal decision. 
    So much this. As long as you teach your child how to properly clean down there, it shouldn't be an issue. Here is a pretty decent overview. We did not circumsize our son, but I let that be my Husband's decision since I don't have a penis. In the end, it's a personal choice. Don't let anyone pressure you one way or the other.
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  • Piperella said:
    @strickland8052 Do a little bit of digging.  There are a ton of stories about men who have pain from the scars of the circumsicion, where they have had to go back later as an adult and have the scars removed, modified, etc. Sometimes the skin that is left doesn't heal correctly and actually causes issues with performance, etc.  Of course no one comes right out and speaks about that.  You can however find many groups of men who talk about wishing to go back to uncut online.  There are even procedures that some men go through to try to stretch the foreskin back again.
    +1. H is uncut and adamantly against circumcision. FWIW I couldn't even tell he was uncut.
  • kmtz89kmtz89 member
    jeng100 said:
    I too love hearing your stories! I studied the Masai tribe in one of my college anthropology courses, and found their culture absolutely fascinating! 
    ah! well don't think DH is too crazy. He's what they  call "city Masai" and hasn't lived a day out in the bush. haha. 
    *American in Tanzania, East Africa, since 2013
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  • I left the decision up to DH when DS was born. DH is circumcised, but neither grandfathers are- and DH elected not to have DS circumcised after a lot of research and reflection. I think a big part of his decision was that it is painful, we had a friend who is a medical resident watch a coworker circumcise a baby that bleed out and died and I know that was heavy on his mind, and he's first generation in this country from Italy. His parents did it because that's what was common where they lived on the east coast at the time he was born. Most of his family does not follow the practice because in Italy (and most of the world) it isnt common and where we live in the US it's about 50/50 if not 60/40 (more uncircumcised) so it's not against the norm, which I am sure also assisted the decision. This is a very personal choice and I found it overwhelming when we were expecting the first time. Good luck to all of you who have this decision to make.
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  • We're not going to, but it's not a big deal one way or the other in our eyes :)
  • I refuse to even think about it until I know I am having a boy. I'm the type the researches for days on a subject, and I can't do that to myself right now haha. If I had to chose with no research, I wouldn't. 
    I do think this is a personal choice though. No right or wrong answer. 
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  • @PeggyOlsonFTW I was wondering this too. Totally a big consideration for me. 





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  • agogo1agogo1 member
    @PeggyOlsonFTW yeah, thanks for saying something. I majorly side-eyed that comment and it doesn't belong in a thread focusing on what is primarily a health issue. Glad I'm not the only one who kind of got the heebie jeebies. 
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  • agogo1 said:
    @PeggyOlsonFTW yeah, thanks for saying something. I majorly side-eyed that comment and it doesn't belong in a thread focusing on what is primarily a health issue. Glad I'm not the only one who kind of got the heebie jeebies. 
    Right? I'm so grossed out. This isn't the TMI thread.

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  • F47F47 member
    DH is from England, and as others have said, circumcision is far from the norm. For that reason, we did not circumcise our DS, and we won't this boy either. Like others on the no-cut side, I don't see the need for it.
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  • Hey guys, for what it's worth I enjoyed this article from Parenting. It laid out some pros and cons and some more in depth discussion that I might not have thought of. I'm still going to talk to our doc before I make any decisions (my family doc sees me and my daughter and I've asked her to take on this little one too), but I liked this article and wanted to share.

    https://www.parenting.com/health-guide/circumcision
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  • I let my husband make this decision with our firstborn because I figured he could probably relate a little better to having a penis than I could.  He is a planner.  He can't even buy sandals without months of research.  He did a lot of reading and came to the conclusion that the risks and benefits are almost equal.  Complications from infant circumcision are very rare.  Complications from not being circumcised are also very rare.  However, my husband decided that since complications rise considerably in the very rare chance you end up needing to be circumcised for medical reasons later in life, we would circumcise.  We did with our first and will likely for our second for the same reason.  However, it was a really close decision and I could have easily seen it going the other way.
  • sarah0985 said:
    LauraPCOS said:
    As a woman, I've been with men both circumcised and not - personally I enjoy a man that has been circumcised, I just enjoy going down on it more.
    ***lurking***
    The fact that this is where your mind goes when discussing whether to circumcise BABIES is disturbing beyond belief. I seriously hope you use better gauges of judgement when making decisions for your future child than what you enjoy during sex. 




    I agree. I would never base a decision on something I preferred in sex, especially when I am referring to my sons penis. This is a baby we are talking about, not a man. 
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  • My husband is not circumcised and had never had an issue with infection. We will not be circumcising if we have a boy, for the very simple reason that he should look like his dad. I won't junp on the moral bandwagon...
  • cec30cec30 member
    my husband and i discussed and he was on the fence, leaning toward not circumcising.  we did our homework and since my husband is, i thought it was important that our ds 'look' like his dad.  
  • @peggyolsonftw I love you more each day. I made a face when I read her comment 

    also: any other team pink so excited this isn't something we have to deal with? im jewish and a bris was honestly scaring the hell out of me 
  • mrszoess said:
    @peggyolsonftw I love you more each day. I made a face when I read her comment 

    also: any other team pink so excited this isn't something we have to deal with? im jewish and a bris was honestly scaring the hell out of me 
    I want to be team pink for this reason to be sure. I don't care and will deal with it if this baby is a boy, but omg it was such torture figuring it out last time. Its the only thing my husband and I ever adamantly came to cross swords over.


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  • mrszoess said:
    @peggyolsonftw I love you more each day. I made a face when I read her comment 

    also: any other team pink so excited this isn't something we have to deal with? im jewish and a bris was honestly scaring the hell out of me 
    Ah, but wiping is so much easier with a boy.
  • mrszoess said:
    @peggyolsonftw I love you more each day. I made a face when I read her comment 

    also: any other team pink so excited this isn't something we have to deal with? im jewish and a bris was honestly scaring the hell out of me 
    Between this and the fear of pee in my mouth, so glad to be team pink.
  • touché @ignoscemihi! also amen to that @strickland8052
  • You team pinkers just get to get into tizzy fights over getting the baby's ears pierced or not... Of course it's not as severe as circumcision,  I've seen some pretty funny and petty fights when it comes to girls. 
  • Oooh, I'm team ear piercing for sure. 
  • mrszoess said:
    touché @ignoscemihi! also amen to that @strickland8052
    Let me know how period land works out for you ladies in the teen years:) 
  • Lol @ ear piercing. That was a fun debate.

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  • I have had four boys...I made a decision with my oldest not to and have made that same decision with the others as well. My Dr has said not to pull back skin or to clean it. Just to leave it alone. My oldest is sixteen now and we have never had any problems. As parents it is a choice we choose to make. In Montana it isn't covered by insurance
  • Lol I'm relieved not to have to decide even though DH and I are on the same page about what our decision would be. The ear piercing will be an unfortunate debate in my near future, and I'm just not going to think about period hell until it's time haha...I've witnessed girls turn into possessed monsters for about a year before their first periods and...sigh
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