Circumcision- BE NICE TO EACH OTHER

Schell2013

I have only ever had girls. I've been lucky to never even have to think about this topic, since it hasn't concerned me. But this time we have a boy and it's been a discussion. I told my husband it's his call, I don't have a penis and don't know a whole lot about caring for one on a daily basis. 
My husband is not cut, cause he was born sick and it just didn't ever happen, but he did later in life (when he got to the age of 5 and no longer wanted help cleaning it) got lazy and didn't wash properly, and has a nasty very painful infection. He had two of them and almost needed to be cut at a later time in life. 
I am typically the natural type person, however I hear of all sorts of horror stories for not doing it.

Please evergone be respectful, I know there will be people from both ends of the spectrum some who think I'm mutulating my child for not doing it and some who think I'm taking a risk of having to get it done later in life when it would be traumatic for a child. 

I am only trying to gather some thoughts and opinions to help us make the best choice for our little boy. 

kmalls

Our son was circumcised in the hospital 3 days after he was born. It was my husband's call, but I was all for it. In our circle (social/economic) it's rare NOT to be circumcised. He literally slept through the procedure and had no ill effects after. If we have another boy in the future (this baby is a girl) we wouldn't hesitate to circumcise again. 

sportiegrl1213

We will be circumcising. I left that choice to my husband and he wants it done. 

PeggyOlsonFTW

This was brought up a while back. Answers on this thread might help you as well: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12662727/jumping-the-gun-here-but-can-we-talk-about-circumcision/p1

mrszoess

I'm jewish so if we were having a boy we would be having a bris. 

thank god she's a girl because I couldn't go through that. hospital setting is one thing. the baby is so young he won't remember anything and they start the care process afterwards so it's not difficult 

BoyMom44

It wasn't ever a discussion for us. We did it for both our boys. I have a friend who had it done in college and it was extremely painful. That was a deciding factor for us. To each his own on this one but it was definitely the right decision for our family. I doubt my boys will hate me one day for it.

Cricket99

*lurking from Jan16*

If you want an fairly objective look at the reasons Americans circumsize as well as the process, look up the YouTube video "The Elephant in the Hospital." I let my husband decide if we would circumsize, and even though he is, he decided that we would not circumsize any boys we have. It's a very personal decision. 

missmaehurt

If we have a boy, we will not be circumcising him. My husband is circumcised, but after researching the pros and cons of both, we've decided not to do it. 

aesthyerin

If we have a boy we will not be doing it. I'm not hardcore about it I just don't think I could handle it. Hubby could go either way

nlane0723

I'm only telling you this because of a lawsuit I am intimately involved with. A gentleman was not circumcised as an infant. He had a terribly painful sex life because of his large uncircumcised penis. As such, he made an appointment to have his penis circumcised in his 30's. It did not go well at all and he essentially has no penis because of it. Buried Penis Syndrome. He has had to have multiple corrective surgeries because of it. Lost his balls. Skin grafts from his thighs.

So based on the photos, videos, and personal story of this individual, my boys will be circumcised.

FemShep

We will circumsize our boy. We think it's the best choice for our family. 

FFTC: When I see "be nice" in all caps in the post title, I immediately want to be a huge twatwaffle.  OP, chill with trying to dictate the answers you receive. People will be rude, or not, as they choose. 

agogo1

My H isn't circumcised, and we don't plan to circumcise any boys that we have in the future. I get that there are some horror stories out there but issues in adulthood from not being circumcised are certainly not the norm. Do some research. There are pros and cons for both sides of the argument. 

ETA: @nlane0723 I respect your thoughts but I think it's important to be careful when suggesting that a decision about your child/other people's children should be based in any way on one person's extremely unusual horror story. I guess I see the situation you're referring to as similar to an argument that a baby girl's breast tissue should be removed because breast cancer exists. While the case you've involved with is certainly disturbing, I would hope that some research into actual outcomes for circumcising and not circumcising would determine your choice rather than this one man's unfortunate experience. I'm sure there are equally horrific stories out there involving babies who were circumcised. Either way, one outlier shouldn't make the decision for anyone. 

bamacoop

My husband is from the UK, where circumcision is not the norm, so he isn't circumcised. He was surprised to learn how common it is here in the US. Personally, I could go either way. I wouldn't mind circumcising, but I wouldn't mind not circumcising either. I think both have their pros and cons. But my husband is against it, because it's not something he is culturally used to, so we've agreed that if this baby is a boy (and for any boys in the future) we will leave them uncut.

Piperella

My answer is exactly the same as @bamacoop's. My father's side is Jewish though, so we did consider it, although my father did accept that it was ultimately our(DH & me) decision.  My husband is from Scotland and it is absolutely not the norm to be cut.  You will find horror stories on both sides of the spectrum. Honestly I would not be asking women about this question, but if you were going to go online to look for answers, I'd research some forums that men go to or use.

TheBeeCharmer

Our two boys are and we would again. My husband is an ER doctor and has seen numerous infections, adhesions, diabetic complications etc in uncircumcised males. 

MRSCORKER

@piperella and @bamacoop I'm over here drooling at the thought of being married to a man with a british or scottish accent. Yum!

Mintz1982

My son was done at 3 days old, it was a choice his father made due to one of his friends from high school almost losing his boy parts to infection.  My step son is not done he cleans himself we have not really discussed it myself and my husband if this baby is a boy we probaby won't since my husband's not. He can teach it I was a single mom with my son for a long time I was glad he was done I would of never known how to explain everything.

annabenanna

SO is Jewish and we are raising this boy interfaith..so yes are circumcising and having a Bris for this baby. 

Kaytee1087

As many of the other ladies are doing, I'm leaving that decision mainly in the hands of DH since I don't have man parts. He is cut, but doesn't really see the point in it. It's still up for discussion with us, but we're leaning towards not.

LauraPCOS

As a woman, I've been with men both circumcised and not - personally I enjoy a man that has been circumcised, I just enjoy going down on it more.

owlcup

We had our DS circumcised. If this LO is a boy, he will be too. I, too, left it up to DH to really decide but I also did a TON of research first. I went with when his doctor did it and it took about ten seconds and DS slept through the whole thing. It took about a week to fully heal.

katlarissa

We had our son circumcised. We have a wonderful pediatrician, and he 100% recommends circumcision. I also researched it carefully, (as I think everyone with boys should,) and decided that, while there are horror stories on BOTH sides of the spectrum, I felt less worried about the risk of infection if we got him circumcised. My sister adopted three boys when they were older, and none had been circumcised. She and her husband did end up having all three circumcised because they kept getting infected because they didn't keep themselves clean enough even when told/shown how. Not saying it would be like that for every boy, obviously. But I think you do have to be careful to wash extra if you aren't circumcised, and let's be honest: most boys barely want to wash at all.  

ETA: my son didn't even cry when he was circumcised. It was a very quick and easy process for him. I had read terrible stories about how much some babies would cry during, so I was nervous. But for him, everything was fine. 

kmtz89

As mentioned in the previous thread on circumcision, the tribe DH belongs to has very specific circumcision rituals. He was circumcised twice (ouch) once as an infant, and the second time as his passage to manhood at 14. During the circumcision you must not budge; don't move a muscle or even blink. You can face only one direction until the operation is completed. The slightest movement on your part will mean you are a coward, incompetent and unworthy to be a Masai man. 
I don't even know if it's safe to google something like this but maybe try looking up Masai Male Circumcision if you're interested... haha. They take the skin and tie it underneath so it heals I guess kinda like a giant skin tag? I don't know how to describe it but I find it super interesting. 

(I found this description, maybe it helps make sense of it :: he cuts a semicircular slit at the base of the foreskin and threads the penis head through it. Then he removed all but the ventral ' seam' of the foreskin. This ndelelia - a good inch-long flap of skin - is left to chase evil spirits out of a woman' s vagina during intercourse and to protect him against venereal diseases. Supposedly it also gives women added pleasure and so makes them prefer the warriors to uncircumcised males. )

We've decided to have our boys circumcised as infants (if we ever have boys). Because our children will be of mixed race they will not be forced to have the "transition to manhood" circumcision.  Our son we are trying to adopt is not circumcised and so we plan to do it as soon as possible after bringing him home as he is already 2.5 years old. Culturally here it is considered shameful if you reach your 20s and you have yet to be circumcised. 


So YEAH heres a long cultural explanation. 

zuzu87

SO and i have decided to circumcise our baby if it turns out to be a boy. I've always knew i wanted my future son(s) to be Circumcised, specially since everyone i know who had initially decided against it for their sons had to have it done eventually due to infections or other issues. I briefly joked about not circumcising this baby if it is a boy and SO seemed very offended. 

bamacoop

MRSCORKER said:

@piperella and @bamacoop I'm over here drooling at the thought of being married to a man with a british or scottish accent. Yum!

People say that to me all the time, especially when DH meets someone new... but honestly, aside from the random times he says something strange to us here (like calling cookies biscuits, or telling me I'm "taking the micky"...or however you spell that) I don't even really notice his accent anymore!

coffee89

No circ here. No problems with keeping it clean or anything else. Keep it clean, teach your child to was his penis like everything else on his body and you will be fine. Vaginas can get pretty gross if you aren't properly washing yourself and to our family it is the same concept.

MRSCORKER

@kmolleltz I didn't know you guys were in the process of adopting! So cool! Is it a baby from your work? 

nlane0723

agogo1 said:

My H isn't circumcised, and we don't plan to circumcise any boys that we have in the future. I get that there are some horror stories out there but issues in adulthood from not being circumcised are certainly not the norm. Do some research. There are pros and cons for both sides of the argument. 

ETA: @nlane0723 I respect your thoughts but I think it's important to be careful when suggesting that a decision about your child/other people's children should be based in any way on one person's extremely unusual horror story. I guess I see the situation you're referring to as similar to an argument that a baby girl's breast tissue should be removed because breast cancer exists. While the case you've involved with is certainly disturbing, I would hope that some research into actual outcomes for circumcising and not circumcising would determine your choice rather than this one man's unfortunate experience. I'm sure there are equally horrific stories out there involving babies who were circumcised. Either way, one outlier shouldn't make the decision for anyone. 

I wasn't suggesting anything.  She asked for opinions and I gave mine. I would make the same decision even if I wasn't aware of this man's "horror" story, which believe it or not happens quite often in adult circumcisions.

kmtz89

MRSCORKER said:

@kmolleltz I didn't know you guys were in the process of adopting! So cool! Is it a baby from your work? 

yes! I've cared for him since he was 3 days old and so we're really excited about bringing him home for real! I'm so thankful I've gotten to be with him his entire life, even if it was part time, but he has absolutely bonded with me above all the staff which is wonderful. I'm hoping our transition will be smooth and that we can get him home before little one actually! If only we could finish building our dang house (our major hang up)

vanessa11411

DS was circumcised and we plan on circumcising this LO.

MRSCORKER

@kmolleltz Amazing! Keep us updated! 
Have you ever brought your H back to the states for a visit?

mrszoess

I love hearing your stories @kmolleltz

kmtz89

@MRSCORKER
Thank you! We're harvesting the farm soon and so hopefully that brings in enough money to get close to finishing the house.

H hasn't been to America yet. We hope within the next 5 years but it's SO expensive and on a meager Tanzanian salary and my "missionary" salary we are not even close to being able to afford it. I would love to show him everything though and have him officially meet all my "people" haha. Especially with kid(s) I hope we can make it back. Unfortunately I've heard it's especially hard for east Africans to get visas into America so we'll see! 

MRSCORKER

kmolleltz said:

@MRSCORKER
Thank you! We're harvesting the farm soon and so hopefully that brings in enough money to get close to finishing the house.

H hasn't been to America yet. We hope within the next 5 years but it's SO expensive and on a meager Tanzanian salary and my "missionary" salary we are not even close to being able to afford it. I would love to show him everything though and have him officially meet all my "people" haha. Especially with kid(s) I hope we can make it back. Unfortunately I've heard it's especially hard for east Africans to get visas into America so we'll see! 

Yeah, I can imagine there would be a lot of hoops to jump through. Does he not get an automatic visa or green card for being married to an american citizen? Or no because your permanent residence is in TZ? 

Sorry for taking over the thread!

Michi1382

@kmolleltz I just love reading your stories. This is amazing! Yes, please keep us updated on the adoption. I hope it goes smoothly and quickly!

I'm still on the fence about circumcision if this baby is a boy. DH is circumcised and wants this baby to be as well. However, I think the decision belongs to both of us and I need to do more research before making a decision. We'll see! To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question. 

kmtz89

MRSCORKER said:

Yeah, I can imagine there would be a lot of hoops to jump through. Does he not get an automatic visa or green card for being married to an american citizen? Or no because your permanent residence is in TZ? 

Sorry for taking over the thread!

we've totally hijacked the thread. My bad.

Nah no automatic anything! We arent planning on living in the states we arent even attempting a green card. But for most it's harder to get a spouse visa than a tourist visa so we haven't even "legalized" our marriage in america yet and I'm not sure if we ever will to be honest. America has a lot of shitty rules if you're to a non-citizen. And I'm pretty sure he would hate living in America permanently haha.

PrimRoseMama

TETO, there is no wrong answer here. I don't circumcise because I don't feel the benefits are that significant. I don't have a religious reason either. It's a valid choice either way. 

nlane0723

I'm also fascinated with the life of @kmolleltz.

We should have a GTKY thread for regs each week.

Schell2013

FemShep said:

We will circumsize our boy. We think it's the best choice for our family. 

FFTC: When I see "be nice" in all caps in the post title, I immediately want to be a huge twatwaffle.  OP, chill with trying to dictate the answers you receive. People will be rude, or not, as they choose. 

Considering its banned topic on all mom Facebook groups I follow, that is why. Cause people are mean and nasty about it and I do not need people telling me I'm a horrible person for even considering it. 

PrimRoseMama

Schell2013 said:

FemShep said:

We will circumsize our boy. We think it's the best choice for our family. 

FFTC: When I see "be nice" in all caps in the post title, I immediately want to be a huge twatwaffle.  OP, chill with trying to dictate the answers you receive. People will be rude, or not, as they choose. 

Considering its banned topic on all mom Facebook groups I follow, that is why. Cause people are mean and nasty about it and I do not need people telling me I'm a horrible person for even considering it. 

Right but those people exist. You have to weather that crap IRL & online. No, it's not pleasant but there is almost no way around it. Telling folks what to do never goes over well because it's insulting. Adults can adult. We are mindful of TOU. If you feel something is inappropriate then report it & move on. 

My son is not circ, but I don't think anyone is horrible for choosing what works best for their family. 

NoraAurora

Another for team uncut.