Frazzled In public

nbc2015

I'm a FTM, and LO is almost 12 weeks old. I'm finding that while I am cool as a cucumber at home, any time that LO gets fussy, cries, etc. while out or with colleagues, I get really frazzled and fumble to try and make him happy. Even if it's something I've done a ton of times (like change his diaper), I can't seem to function smoothly when in the company of others. Any one else experience this or have any advice? I'm making myself look like an idiot, when I totally know what I am doing! I guess it's just my fear that others may see LO as an inconvenience when he starts fussing, so I try to hurry up and resolve whatever is causing the fussiness. Anyone else?

Latina211508

I think you're too worried about what others think (as you said). Anyone with a child understands that babies get fussy and you shouldn't have to think that he's an inconvenience to your friends/colleagues etc. Just breathe and do what you always do. Don't stress the small things . Of course I always try to resolve the situation but I don't worry about others. I'm a mom of 4. So with time and after four children you honestly don't sweat it. I just take control and if it doesn't go as plan then it doesn't. Then you try another way. If that makes sense. 

ashton2190

It's actually a psychological thing. When you feel 100% confident in something, you tend to be even better at it when someone is watching (you're subconsciously showing off). When you don't feel that confidence, you actually do worse when others are watching. 

Refardless, as long as you're trying to calm the baby down, I don't think anyone would fault you. Everyone knows that babies cry, so if someone were to give you flack, I think they would be the ones looked at badly. 

Ive had at least one experience where my LO just started screaming at the top of her lungs out of nowhere. I felt so frazzled trying to figure out what it was and I couldn't get my nursing cover on fast enough and she wouldn't latch because she was so upset so I just whipped my boob out to make it go faster. You do what you have to do, right?

=caenis=

I also get self-conscious getting my little one's clothes on or off and changing his diaper when people are watching. I think it will get better over time. The weather is getting nicer so I'm out and about quite often...plenty of opportunities to practice as baby definitely puts me on the spot. 

So I'm in the same boat. One thing that I do believe helps is a tip for calming nerves while speaking/presenting to a crowd: take a few deep breathes when you start to freak out. The oxygen will help you focus, so you can do your thing.

FunnyGal18

I think that if you put yourself in the same situation repeatedly that you will both get used to it and relax.  I find that the more that I take my twins out, the more routine it becomes.

VitaLuna

I felt that a lot with my first. I would almost panic when she started to cry while out in public because I felt overly conscious of what other people might be thinking.

Three things that helped: a) time, b) realizing that I never thought twice about someone else's baby crying in public, so why did I think people were somehow judging me or inconvenienced by me? c) accepting and reassuring myself that I (and my child) had just as much right to be at that restaurant, store, etc as anyone else. This was particularly important for me to keep reminding myself of on our first couple plane trips. 

It it gets better, but know you're not alone in those feelings. 

MississippiCatfish

I get extra nervous about parenting in front of others, too.  There is an added pressure when someone is watching, I think that's human nature, right?  I'd like to think it's not that uncommon:)  

CrystalEOh

I was very flustered when I brought my LO to meet my coworkers and she cried the whole time, but one of them kindly assured me "this bothers you more than it does us!"