Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Second Loss In A Year...

I was a part of the December 2016 birth club but last night it started, and now here I am. 

I found out I was pregnant on April 1st, I was scared because I miscarried at 5 weeks the last time, and 4 weeks a previous time. I had my first ultrasound on April 14th and It went great. I was 6w4d and a perfect heartbeat of 138. I was so happy. I was doing everything I could to be careful not to do anything to lose this one. Then last night, I saw spotting. It was red, I knew it was bad, the cramps were there and I just knew it. I went to the ob this morning, I measured exactly where I should have. The baby measured 8w2d. But no heartbeat. The lady said omg wow, it must of just happened. It broke my heart. I not only lost my lil baby, that looked so perfect on the screen, just like all the pics ive seen, lil hand and feet nubs, lil head, and chubby looking middle. It looked like an actual baby instead of the 6w blob. It hurt my heart. 

I dont want to face it. Im trying to handle it natural like my others but I had some complications last time. I had blood clots last time, i had to go to the er to remove them, they were so painful. If it hasnt progressed by morning I will schedule a d&c. 

Sorry for the long post, but Im an emotional mess. Im so scared Ill never have a healthy baby. I will be getting tests to see what is causing the problems but until then, im left wondering. Thanks for letting me get my feelings out. I just need support. 

Re: Second Loss In A Year...

  • I am so sorry for your losses.  Hugs.  I am glad you shared here and this is a great place for support.
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I know how sad it is to see your perfect baby on the ultrasounds machine and then it doesn't have a heartbeat. I am so sorry you are here. 
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  • I'm so sorry for you losses. Do whatever you need to take care of yourself.
  • I am so sorry for your losses. I recognize you from December 2016, and I'm sorry that we are both here instead.
  • @Glitter I'm sorry you're going through this. This is the perfect place to vent and heal.  
    ***Loss mentioned***
    Me: 38  DH: 38
    Married: 12-15-2012
    TTC: January 2014
    IUI 12-11-2014 ... BFP: 12-24-2014 MMC: 2-17-2015 @ 12 weeks
    IUI 6-1-2015 ... BFP: 6-16-2015 MC: 7-19-2015 @ 9 weeks 2 days
    IUI 3-4-2016 ... BFP: 3-20-2016 MC: 5-2-2016 @ 10 weeks 3 days
  • @blacknightsky  I hate that we are here but Its nice to have this place to come to. It seems a few of us are here but we will get through this.

    Thanks so much everyone. These boards have been saving my sanity and heart. I appreciate all the support. 
  • @Glitter I am so sorry to see you here.  I am also a 3 loss Mom.  It is such a terribly hard place to be & am I very sorry for your losses.  I hope the rest of the process goes smoothly however it happens & that the tests give you answers.  In my case nothing has been abnormal so far which is frustrating.  

    This group and the Trying to Get Pregnant board have been a big help for me during this difficult journey.  I stuck around after leaving the July16 BMB after my last loss.  

    Me: 39 DH: 40
    Married: 12/6/2014

    BFP#1: 1/20/15      MC: 2/14/15
    BFP#2: 10/28/15    MC: 11/24/15
    BFP#3:  3/20/16     MC: 4/26/16
    BFP#4:  7/15/16     DD: 3/18/17
    BFP#5:  5/1/18     EDD: 1/12/19
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

  • I'm so so sorry for your loss. I really hope you can get some answers as to what's happening. Losing a child is an incredibly emotional toll on someone. Be kind to yourself, you are not alone. 
    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

  • @Glitter I am so sorry for your losses and the pain you are going through. Hugs to you during this difficult time. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • Thanks everyone. Im now starting the healing process emotional and physical. The boards help me a lot
  • I am so sorry for your losses. hang in there we are here for you.
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thank you. Im doing better today. Im healing. I also found the cutest little thing to remember my baby. I will share as soon as its made and sent.
  • I'm very sorry for your loss....love to hear how you are honoring your LO. Keep us posted. 
    Me: 39 DH: 39
    CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
  • I'm so sorry - two losses for me this year as well. irs good to have people to talk with who have been through this- sometimes it just can feel like no one understands. I hope better days are in your future!
    Me:35, DH 37  ~ Married July 2014
    ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
    bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
    ttcal May 2016
  • I am so sorry for your loss
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I too was a member of the December 2016 BMB but lost my baby this past Sunday at 9 weeks. I hope you are healing and better days are to come. Hope to see you on the trying to get pregnant board in the future. 
  • Ugh Glitter I'm so sorry I am just now really hearing your story! It breaks my heart, cuz I feel the same. It also breaks my heart because I had no idea when you posted in Dec what it was like, and I wasn't able to have the right kind of empathy for you. And now that I've joined this horrible club, I just want to hug you and cry. That's acceptable right? A bunch of ladies just crying on each other in a huge pile? Because that's all I want to do.

    Idk how to feel about where I'm at. The process hasn't started yet, and baby is still inside me.. Do I want it to get started? Do I want to just go and schedule a d&c? I have no idea.. I'm afraid of the process. I'm also mad about not being able to try again immediately. I just want to do something about this, but I can't.

    Me: 27 years old            DH: 27 years old
    Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
    Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
    Married in July 2014
    TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
    BFP #1 3/29/16     MMC: 5/5/16
    BFP #2 7/6/16    SCH, D&C 8/4/16
    BFP #3 12/26/16     EDD: 9/6/17
    My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
    My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: 
    Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
    1/12/16 6.7%
    5/25/16 6.0%
    11/2/16 6.1%
    3/22/16 5.8%
    4/27/17 5.4%
    6/13/17 5.3%
    "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
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