Second Loss In A Year...

Glitter · April 2016

I was a part of the December 2016 birth club but last night it started, and now here I am.

I found out I was pregnant on April 1st, I was scared because I miscarried at 5 weeks the last time, and 4 weeks a previous time. I had my first ultrasound on April 14th and It went great. I was 6w4d and a perfect heartbeat of 138. I was so happy. I was doing everything I could to be careful not to do anything to lose this one. Then last night, I saw spotting. It was red, I knew it was bad, the cramps were there and I just knew it. I went to the ob this morning, I measured exactly where I should have. The baby measured 8w2d. But no heartbeat. The lady said omg wow, it must of just happened. It broke my heart. I not only lost my lil baby, that looked so perfect on the screen, just like all the pics ive seen, lil hand and feet nubs, lil head, and chubby looking middle. It looked like an actual baby instead of the 6w blob. It hurt my heart.

I dont want to face it. Im trying to handle it natural like my others but I had some complications last time. I had blood clots last time, i had to go to the er to remove them, they were so painful. If it hasnt progressed by morning I will schedule a d&c.

Sorry for the long post, but Im an emotional mess. Im so scared Ill never have a healthy baby. I will be getting tests to see what is causing the problems but until then, im left wondering. Thanks for letting me get my feelings out. I just need support.

BrightenMySky · April 2016

I am so sorry for your losses. Hugs. I am glad you shared here and this is a great place for support.

joyful08 · April 2016

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how sad it is to see your perfect baby on the ultrasounds machine and then it doesn't have a heartbeat. I am so sorry you are here.

RiverSong15 · April 2016

I'm so sorry for you losses. Do whatever you need to take care of yourself.

blacknightsky · April 2016

I am so sorry for your losses. I recognize you from December 2016, and I'm sorry that we are both here instead.

CRJones1978 · April 2016

@Glitter I'm sorry you're going through this. This is the perfect place to vent and heal.

Glitter · April 2016

@blacknightsky I hate that we are here but Its nice to have this place to come to. It seems a few of us are here but we will get through this.

Thanks so much everyone. These boards have been saving my sanity and heart. I appreciate all the support.

MrsBinPA · April 2016

@Glitter I am so sorry to see you here. I am also a 3 loss Mom. It is such a terribly hard place to be & am I very sorry for your losses. I hope the rest of the process goes smoothly however it happens & that the tests give you answers. In my case nothing has been abnormal so far which is frustrating.

This group and the Trying to Get Pregnant board have been a big help for me during this difficult journey. I stuck around after leaving the July16 BMB after my last loss.

fiorip · April 2016

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I really hope you can get some answers as to what's happening. Losing a child is an incredibly emotional toll on someone. Be kind to yourself, you are not alone.

roxgibbons · April 2016

@Glitter I am so sorry for your losses and the pain you are going through. Hugs to you during this difficult time.

Glitter · April 2016

Thanks everyone. Im now starting the healing process emotional and physical. The boards help me a lot

yolandamunoz · April 2016

I am so sorry for your losses. hang in there we are here for you.

Glitter · April 2016

Thank you. Im doing better today. Im healing. I also found the cutest little thing to remember my baby. I will share as soon as its made and sent.

amberruka · April 2016

I'm very sorry for your loss....love to hear how you are honoring your LO. Keep us posted.

KarenBeth714 · April 2016

I'm so sorry - two losses for me this year as well. irs good to have people to talk with who have been through this- sometimes it just can feel like no one understands. I hope better days are in your future!

Hopefulmommy1980 · April 2016

I am so sorry for your loss

kimcomm06 · May 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too was a member of the December 2016 BMB but lost my baby this past Sunday at 9 weeks. I hope you are healing and better days are to come. Hope to see you on the trying to get pregnant board in the future.

Sugargirl1019 · May 2016

Ugh Glitter I'm so sorry I am just now really hearing your story! It breaks my heart, cuz I feel the same. It also breaks my heart because I had no idea when you posted in Dec what it was like, and I wasn't able to have the right kind of empathy for you. And now that I've joined this horrible club, I just want to hug you and cry. That's acceptable right? A bunch of ladies just crying on each other in a huge pile? Because that's all I want to do.

Idk how to feel about where I'm at. The process hasn't started yet, and baby is still inside me.. Do I want it to get started? Do I want to just go and schedule a d&c? I have no idea.. I'm afraid of the process. I'm also mad about not being able to try again immediately. I just want to do something about this, but I can't.

Second Loss In A Year...

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