Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How is everyone doing? Check-in 4/25


Re: How is everyone doing? Check-in 4/25

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    How do you guys make it through to your first cycle? Do you abstain from sex? Use protection? My d&c was yesterday and just about all I can think about is trying again. And the thought of waiting 6-8 weeks, plus the two weeks after that until ovulation, I just can't stand to think about that much time. My OB said he'd like for me to have a cycle before we actively tried, but also said that if something happens before that, it's not the end of the world. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
    Pregnancy Ticker

    M/C #2 - October 2016
    MMC #1 - April 2016

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    RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    edited April 2016
    @a2003tiger I was told to abstain from sex (and tampons) for two weeks after my natural miscarriage to reduce risks for infection. So we abstained for that time. Once we were ready, we used condoms to avoid. The one cycle is pretty standard - some doctors say it's only for better dating of the next pregnancy if you did get pregnant right away, others think the lining and your uterus need a cycle to heal and build back up, and others think you need a cycle for emotional reasons. If you want to try right away, I'd recommend calling your doctor and asking why he recommends waiting. If his concerns are just about dating the next pregnancy, you could use fertility charting (temps, OPKs, and CM) to know when you ovulate this cycle. All bets are off after a MC, so you can't assume your cycle will go back to normal right away. As an example, I'm sitting here at CD21 with no sign of impending ovulation. This will be a much longer than normal cycle for me.
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    @riversong15 my OB's reasoning was for dating. I'm not planning on trying any time soon and for peace of mind, would like to wait until my first cycle. I'm just already anxious about it. I think my mind is focusing on getting back in the saddle to keep itself from dwelling on the grief. Thanks for your explanation though, that helps. 
    Pregnancy Ticker

    M/C #2 - October 2016
    MMC #1 - April 2016

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
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    @a2003tiger No worries. I totally get the urge to try again. I jumped into tracking and charting again right away after my first MC because I wanted to feel in control and like I was moving forward. It's a tough place to be in. Good luck with whatever you decide is best!
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    @a2003tiger I too was advised to wait 2 weeks after D&C to have sex, but DH and I are really really bad about not having sex... so we broke the rules, just a bit. If I had been bleeding, we definitely would have waited, but since I had almost no bleeding (just a tiny bit of red when I wiped) and was feeling good and in the mood (I hadn't at all been in the mood while pregnant) we went ahead and had sex 9 days after. If you can wait I would recommend it.

    Oh yeah, and we're also terrible at using condoms. I hate the way they feel and I enjoy orgasms, so yeah no on those for us.  :# I was not told to use condoms, but I also can't get pregnant through intercourse, so there is no risk of that.

    AFM - I had my post D&C check up today. Everything was looking good and she didn't miss anything, so now I just have to wait around until the end of the second week of May to have my RE induce a period.
    About us:
    Me - 28, Lean PCOS
    DH - 31
    Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
    Blog: ourbinarystar.com

    FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!

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    I read all of these and see a part of myself in every one of you. It is also on my mind but am i ready to handle losing a baby again? I hope i dont but if so, it would break me. But, I cant stop thinking about trying. It also drives me crazy when I see or hear about women 1 drink and do drugs or those that dont want their child carrying beautiful babies full term. 

    I have a friend due in August, we thought our babies would grow together. It will be hard, but i have to be happy for her, and thankful her lil girl is growing and doing well. 

    Im new here also. I was supposed to be 8w2d on the 26th. I had spotting the night of the 25th so I went to the ob first thing the morning of the 26th. They did an ultrasound and there was my perfectly growing baby with no heartbeat at exactly 8w2d. The tech who also did my dating scan was shocked. When i went in the first time baby was 6w2d, growing great, and had a wonderful heartbeat of 138. She couldnt believe the baby passed so sudden within that night or day. It broke my heart since it was my 3rd miscarriage and the longest ive held a pregnancy. We were going to go natural but prepared for a d&c incase since I had clotting issues with my last. I ended up doing an emergency d&c, the people were amazing, they tested the baby, and perform prayer and a burial at the cemetery 10 mins from my home, which i thought was awesome. They treated me just like a mother should be. Im waiting on testing from baby, then me, and hope i can have my rainbow baby sometime.

    I feel ok physically, i have light cramps, light spotting but no major issues. Most my symptoms are gone but i find myself still feeling pregnant at times. I will take more time to heal emotionally. I love these boards and thank all of you for your support and sharing your personal stories.

    I love pizza and spaghetti. I could eat them daily. Since losing my grandms, ive been missing her cooking, id give anything to have her here with me and us eating together.
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    fioripfiorip member
    edited April 2016
    @a2003tiger so sorry for your loss, sounds like you're well on your way to physical and emotional recovery. Regarding your question many have answered already, I was told to abstain from sex for at least 2 weeks, to avoid infection. It's been almost 3 weeks since my miscarriage but I'm still bleeding, so it'll depend on how your body heals. With my previous loss we started trying right after and got pregnant 6 months after that, which was hard, every time I saw a negative pregnancy test my heart sank, I was desperately trying to conceive again.  This time my doctor recommended using condoms, she also said it was up to us to wait a cycle or not, if we waited it'd be only for dating purposes and since this is our third loss, for emotional healing. 

    @Glitter so sorry for your loss. Glad you had such a supportive staff around you, it certainly eases things a little bit. 
    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

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    Oh wow, I didn't have a doctor this time I miscarried. Mine moved away and I was still in the process of finding one. I didn't want to go to the hospital because there was nothing they could do for me last time so I didn't think this time would be different and the thought of waiting in physical and emotional agony for hours to see doctors that could also potentially be insensitive was just not what I wanted to do. It was an early mc and I felt I knew what was happening.
    But I never heard that you're supposed to wait two weeks afterwards to avoid infection! We definitely had intercourse very soon after, while I still had some bleeding, even, which may sound gross but it was like we needed to be close to each other, if that makes sense. I guess we were lucky but I feel a little silly that it never crossed my mind.
    I'm so glad I have a doctor now, who knows my history, for when we get to TTC (which I honestly am very impatiently awaiting).
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    @rainbowturtles  wow, go you. Im always scared to death the firsr couple times having sex after mc. I was told also to wait two weeks to have sex,  no baths or tampons or douching for two weeks also. Ive heard soo many things om the when its safe to try agajn time. Most say wait a cycle, some say wait a couple, i think it truly depends on the couple, and when they are ready. Im going to let myself heal which im not sure how long, maybe a week, maybe months, i dunno. I do know what you mean about needing tue closeness with your so. My last mc i felt like that, we just wanted our bond in everyway. 

    I love the stamped bracelet. I am getting a special item made by someone on etsy. Its a lil box that i can put my p test, u/s pics, my hosp bracelet, and other small momentos. It has a clay baby on top in a onsie with a pacifier, and angel wings. It also has a lil rabbit toy next to baby. She creates anything youd like so I asked for specific colors and baby design but I think ill love it, and it will be perfect. 
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    @rainbowturtles we were told to wait 2 weeks b/c of infection, but I definitely missed the closeness that it brings during that time.  

    @ktcakes87 I got a stamped bracelet from Etsy.  Have not taken it off since I got it, except once for acupuncture (and I put it on my chest when I took it off that time).  It is silver with an inscription on the inside, so it's not visible to the world.  Inscription is "i carry your heart with me i carry it in my heart."  Let me know if you want me to share the shop I used, I'm very happy with it.

    Just catching up on this check in.  Found out a close friend is pregnant with #2.  She told me in email and said she felt guilty etc., I just wrote back and said congrats...not my job to make her not feel guilty (not that she should, but I just am not in a comforting mood on that kind of thing).  She's due a little over a month after I was due.  

    Comfort food for me is probably pasta.  Plain when I'm not feeling good, or with veggies or "meat" sauce (the vegetarian kind) as a real meal.
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
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