Gender Reveal Party Question

em01092

Ok so obviously this is a ways a way for most of us (unless you're doing the Harmony test or something), but I was having a discussion with some friends/acquaintances and was curious what you ladies thought:

Is it tacky to throw your own gender reveal? I was always of the opinion/understanding that it was NOT, since you're essentially just throwing a party to tell everyone the gender and there is no "expectation" of gifts. I've never seen very many people bring gifts to one, and if they do a) it's usually a card and b) if it's an actual gift, it's not opened in front of everyone like at a shower. This was always my position, but apparently not everyone I know agrees! Now if someone offered to throw me one, I would probably be ok with that, but it never dawned on me that throwing my own gender reveal was tacky.

Thoughts?

doodleoodle

I may be old school, but I think it's bad etiquette to throw yourself any type of party. Sorry!

MichaelSC28

So I have heard most people do it at their baby shower. However, baby showers are usually really close to EDD. So I have seen some that were right after the first trimester 14-20 weeks, just the baby gender reveal party. I don't think its necessarily tacky to throw a gender reveal party or get together. I would say it would be like a cook out or something with friends and family, no gifts needed. You then do something cute like the box with balloons or the cupcakes with colored cake. 

My girlfriend did a gender reveal at like a cookout. I did mine with my DD at 4th of July when everyone was already together. 

Throwing your own baby shower can be looked at as kind of awkward but sometimes depending on your situation that's just how things work out.

OliveP27

If you like throwing parties, having a fun get together to announce sex of baby can be fun. A reveal isn't the same as throwing your own shower, IMO. 

Kacie209

IDK, actually. I have only been to one gender reveal party, but it was a combo of something else and they brought the cake, which had the color of the gender in it. I guess my cousin and his wife did something at Easter, but it wasn't specifically for that.

I think a gender reveal party is different than a shower, so I think it would be fine if you hosted. I mean, you're not expecting gifts... just wanting to gather people together to see the gender of your baby!

cantalopes24

I think the whole sex reveal party thing is awkward. Maybe it's just me but unless it's my BFF or my sibling I just don't care that much about someone else's kids enough to want to attend a party to find out if it has a penis or a vagina. I think the pictures people do and post are cute but a party is just kind of meh to me.

juliehollz13

I think it's only tacky to throw yourself a party at which one would expect gifts - like a baby/wedding shower or birthday party. Throwing a gender reveal party for yourself isn't bad etiquette in my opinion. 

mamabirdoftwo

I don't see an issue with inviting friends over to personally share the news with them. I would totally plan our own gender reveal. 

DiFazette

I'm not a fan of sex reveal parties.  Not to split hairs - but gender is self-identified, sex is DNA based.  You will learn the sex at a party like this.  Anywho, I wouldn't throw my own party, but I don't think anyone else would care enough to throw me one.  The sex of your future child has little to no impact on anyone else's life.  I wouldn't have one because I don't think anyone cares, and they'd be coming to a 'party' to pacify me.  Do whatever makes you happy, it's just not my style.

dmontgo

I don't think throwing a gender reveal party is in bad taste. Honestly, because of our family situation people  (and us) thought we would throw our own shower. Since most of our friends are guys, it wasn't that big of a deal. But a girlfriend who is normally traveling a lot for work asked if she could throw it for us since she won't have to travel much anymore. It was such a nice gesture, so we accepted, but it wont be until October. I think every situation is different, and sometimes you just have to do what makes sense for you.

cjt121413

I think you can throw your own sex reveal party as long as you don't expect gifts. I think really big gender reveal parties are pretty AW-ish, frankly. We might do something to reveal our baby's sex to family (like have a pink or blue cake at a BBQ or something), but we wouldn't send out invites or anything like that.

em01092

@DiFazette You're right on the terms, I didn't mean to be insensitive. Does anyone actually call them that? I guess that is what they should be called, but I've never known that to be the case.

I don't know if we'd have one anyway because of the family dynamics between my mom's side and my dad's side of the family. It was ok for our wedding because that was a bigger affair and we kept them literally on opposite sides of the room, but I would imagine the more intimate setting of such a gathering might make things awkward. 

phoenix870509

I think the whole concept is stupid, but compromise is leading me to have one. We're just having a little get together with the people we are telling and tell them. DH and I are still disagreeing on how we are doing that. I don't want the dumb balloons or cake with pink or blue (as you can see, I really hate these parties). I would personally just like to say the name we have chosen for the sex of the baby and be done with it, but DH doesn't like that. We still have time. So DH and I will probably do a grill out at our place with our friends, my parents and his parents on Skype, celebrate with a chocolate cake from Publix and remind everyone even though we know the sex, gender-neutral everything.

dmontgo

@phoenix870509 I'm with you on not liking the pinks and blues. No matter what we're having, it's going to have a neutral nursery and not too "baby." We're making our shower a Halloween party, essentially, with costumes and prizes for guests. I think that's a good compromise for everyone so it's not too baby oriented. But that's just me.

penelope4612

I don't think it's tacky to throw your own sex reveal party as long as you plan on providing food/drinks for your guests and don't expect presents.  However, I also think the sex reveal parties are overdone, unless you make the reveal part of another event that people are interested in attending anyway (like a holiday party or if you're going to host a cookout or a pool party or something).  Agree with PP, unless it's immediate family or a VERY close friend, I'm not interested in going to a party where the main purpose is to find out the sex of someone's child.  I'm happy to find out via text, in a conversation, or when the child is born.  Especially if the parents to be are going to be having another event (either a shower or a welcome the baby event after the baby is born).  Sooo many people around me are pregnant right now, I just don't have the energy to go to all this stuff all the time.

slartybartfast

Definitely not tacky. Also, glad @DiFazette covered the difference between gender and sex.
There's definitely not an expectation of gifts with these and it's just another reason to have friends over. If someone wants to throw a party and invites me to it, I'm psyched. If they want to have a colored frosting filled cupcake to let me know if they are growing a boy or girl, bring it on. The thing I don't totally love but don't get too worked up over is the attributions people give to it being a boy or girl. Like assigning pink and blue, or balerinas vs trucks. Or other gender stereotypes that I feel hurt the concept of - let your little person be who they are instead of assigning roles to them before they are even born.

We didn't really do this with last baby but we had a family dinner where we had a poem and the last line of the poem was "it's a boy!" super corny but that's who we are! We also sprinkled the poem with things to throw it off... like rhymed with squirrel and world... It was fun.

princesslockness

I'm not a huge party person in general, but a sex reveal really isn't my style. I would personally just make some type of video or picture and send it out/post it wherever.
That way its cute, no one feels obligated to attend, and you have a great video/picture of your and SO's faces when you find out.

R0824H

a small get together with friends and family to tell them the exciting news? NBD, I've never been to one but if I was ever invited I wouldn't think to bring a gift because I assume that is what the shower is for. I wouldn't go inviting everyone you know but I plan to have a BBQ and invite our parents and the grandparents and just bring out a cake or something creative and be all "guess what you get to find out today!"

em01092

@R0824H exactly this, it would be 15-20 people tops and we would do it cookout style. But I'm leaning towards just doing something on FB. 

R0824H

@em01092 I think that's perfectly fine, we'll probably let my mom know it will be a reveal so she can video it on one of our phones and upload the video to Facebook. I've seen that done a lot lately. Are you thinking of doing a cake? balloons in a box? there was one I saw on Pinterest with black balloons filled with colored paint and the parents to be threw darts at them.

Shwee25

I think it is totally fine to throw your own as long as, like PPs have said, you don't expect gifts and you provide food for your guests.  DH and I intend on having one.  We are keeping it small and inviting our family and closest friends. 

penelope4612

I also want to put this out there - for most people, the fun of the reveal is seeing the surprise/excitement on the new parents faces.  It doesn't really seem fun if the new parents already know.  So if you're going to do it, I'd encourage you to do it in a way that you're finding out as well, and not just announcing to your guests.  

Gizmo1231

We were team green last baby so we've talked about throwing a gender reveal party sometime this summer. It will probably be super laid back and just close family/friends. All gender reveal parties I have attended were thrown by the parents-to-be.

ABJU1109

I don't mind having a gender reveal party, but for me it's more of an intimate only family and closest friends affair. You can definitely throw it yourself, and if someone finds you tacky for throwing it yourself then that's someone who I don't feel is close enough to you to be invited. 

In my case, my husband and I want to find out the sex of the baby at the reveal party so we will have the Aunts in charge of it. I will have the Doctor slip the info into a little envelope and let them do the work. 

sammyl1221

I don't think its tacky to throw your own party but this is JUST me and my opinion. No one is going to be as excited as you and your husband. If you want to do it at a party in conjunction with some other event that's great. Everyone keeps asking us if we are doing one because we love having parties and to me its stupid- no one is going to be like WTF ITS A BOY?! I WANTED A GIRL!! lol and if they are then that's a totally different story. Either way its up to you and your hubby but when inviting people play it down so they don't assume they need to bring gifts. 

cayaylonglegs

Funny but not really funny story which is piggybacking off of what @sammyl1221 said..

My coworker had a gender reveal party and when they found out it was a girl her husband started crying... Because he wanted a boy. LIKE REALLY?!

sammyl1221

cayaylonglegs said:

Funny but not really funny story which is piggybacking off of what @sammyl1221 said..

My coworker had a gender reveal party and when they found out it was a girl her husband started crying... Because he wanted a boy. LIKE REALLY?!

ummmmmmm THAT'S CRAZY! I'd be mortified!!

My friends mother is a real  "see you next tuesday" if you know what I mean and both my friend and her sister were pregnant. When they found out they were having a boy the mom was like "Ugh a boy?! well maybe Sarah will give me a granddaughter" ...........turns out Sarah is also having a boy! HAHAHAHAHA

Jennys9

em01092 said:

Ok so obviously this is a ways a way for most of us (unless you're doing the Harmony test or something), but I was having a discussion with some friends/acquaintances and was curious what you ladies thought:

Is it tacky to throw your own gender reveal? I was always of the opinion/understanding that it was NOT, since you're essentially just throwing a party to tell everyone the gender and there is no "expectation" of gifts. I've never seen very many people bring gifts to one, and if they do a) it's usually a card and b) if it's an actual gift, it's not opened in front of everyone like at a shower. This was always my position, but apparently not everyone I know agrees! Now if someone offered to throw me one, I would probably be ok with that, but it never dawned on me that throwing my own gender reveal was tacky.

Thoughts?

Do what you want - totally fine!  The etiquette is to tell people NOT to bring gifts. If they do, then what you stated about waiting to open is appropriate.  The reveal is for everyone else, not for you or your spouse (since you'll already know), so you hosting them is essentially the point.  Just serve refreshments. 

MamaWino

Throwing yourself a shower or birthday party is tacky, a gender reveal is not. To me it's more of a celebration with friends, rather than an actual party where gifts are expected. We have a 4th of July party each year and will probably reveal the sex to our friends then. We were team green for each of our girls so we're looking forward to doing something a little different this time. I say if you want to do it, do it! 

zubenescamali

With DD1 we invited the immediate family over for dinner and had a "baby reveal cake" with pink icing on the inside. We let the grandmas cut the first slice and it was hilarious because MIL got it right away but my mom didn't understand. But it wasn't a big event and it was our first child and the grands' first grandchild, so everyone was so much more invested. I don't think we did anything to announce DD2.  I might do a cutesy photo announcement for this one, but since I barely expect anyone to care that I'm pregnant, much less what sex the baby is, that's probably going to be the extent of it.

a2003tiger

I'm honestly surprised at how many there are against this! We've been team green twice and have decided to find out this time. Cheesy, tacky, whatever, I'm doing a party. I will have close friends and family over for a pool party/cookout. DH and I aren't finding out and are having a cake professionally made. We'll find out the same time our guests do. 

PharmDMom

I think it's fine to throw your own gender reveal party. But I agree with other Bumpies that it should mostly be kept to close family and a few friends. I think sending out invitations for lots of people (coworkers, extended family, etc) to come to such an event is a little over the top.

We didn't  have a reveal party for either of our other kids. But my SIL is pregnant now and due with her first baby four weeks before me, and coincidentally a family reunion is scheduled for July 2, so she wants us to both reveal the sex of our babies at the reunion. As others described, since it's something that is already planned and people who care will already be there, I'm totally cool with this idea. We won't hijack the reunion. We will just take a few minutes at some point to share the news in some creative way. 

aframe77

I love an excuse for a party! And although DH and I are team green, I think it would be fun to be invited to one. I think guests would feel special, like they are a part of the inner circle who gets to hear the breaking news first. So rock out with your blue or pink out:)

ToBeMiller1921

I don't think it's tacky of you're not expecting gifts. We didn't have gender reveal parties for my girls, but we happened to find out the gender, right before a family gathering. We just brought a cake to the gathering and cut it in front of everyone. We are lucky, in that our family is so excited about all the little stuff like this. If you have friends and family who'd get excited about it, I think it's fun.

Lexibizzel

One more vote for not tacky, as long as guests are not feeling pressured to bring gifts.  Agree with poster that mentioned the best part is seeing the parents-to-be's faces when they discover.  I'm pretty confident that your friends and family will be delighted.  But at the end of the day, it's your baby, do what feels right for you.

uromys

Seeings as we had one with DD1 before it became a "popular" thing I'm all for it! It was a lot of fun. No one brought gifts as it was specified as a 'Pink or Blue BBQ' on our invite. We are always hosting cookouts and parties when the weather gets nice so for us it was just another excuse to get everyone together. DH and I had a cake made by a local baker as she and the ultrasound tech were the on two who knew the sex of our baby. It was a lot of fun! Everyone who came wanted to be there. 

I currently bake cakes on the side and just last week made this for a friend. Any reasons a good reason for cake in my opinion!

newmamaro

I agree with others that it is not tacky if there are no gifts involved. I was thinking of doing (& planning myself) a reveal "party" with just family and close friends. Either that, or have pictures taken and just send them/post them. If we do any kind of reveal though I want it to be a surprise for my husband and I, so I was going to have the ultrasound technician put the sex into an envelope and put my best friend in charge of the reveal.