Newbie

TTCbabyscott

Hello. I'm new to this board. I've been ttc for 4 years. It was always assumed that I was the issue because I was obese. I had gastric sleeve surgery a year ago  and still didn't become pregnant. We finally saw a new obgyn last month who put me through several tests and ordered a SA for my husband as well. We got our results back and learned that I am completely fine but my husband had no sperm. We're now waiting for a urologist appointment. My husband is being really negative. He's not open to anything other than a biological child and in his mind that is not going to happen. I still have hope but I also find myself being incredibly angry. I'm trying to remind myself that it's hard for him and he needs support. I guess that's why I'm joining here, to find support for me and how I can better support him. 

Angelic789

Hi, dear! I just wanted to support you and say I understand what you're going through. Fertility issues are a big emotional roller coaster, sometimes really hard to cope with alone. This was also the reason I joined this board some time ago. Though my DH is very understanding and supportive, thankfully. In our case this is me making the obstacle. I have endo and PCOS, poor egg quality. DH is just ok.
I even can't imagine me moving on without his soothing words. So, poor thing you are, dear. I should say men just pretend to be strong-willed, they're pretty weak inside. I guess your husband needs more time to except this state of things. Try not to talk about your problems every other day - I know this may be hard, but in such a way you'll give him more time to realize you have to find the way out.
Also I can't believe he has no sperm at all. You should talk about this with several experts, on how this fact can be improved by your husband. Or probably what meds he should take to get chances. I truly believe medicine does have sth to offer. I guess from that great amount of treatment options they do have the appropriate one for you! Wish you all the best of luck and take care, hun

AandDM2014

I wanted to chime in with a success story! My cousin has to do IVF because her DH produces no sperm as well. He had to have a surgery where the doctors removed something from his testicles that had viable sperm in it. They do IVF with ICSI as his sperm doesn't do much other than fertilize. They have a beautiful 3 year old daughter (as an aside, the surgery was incredibly painful and very unpleasant, but after getting their daughter, he said he'd definitely do it again if he needed to). There are a lot of different approaches to dealing with MFI. Your DH should see a specialist. If he truly wants kids, he will be willing to do that.

capps42613

@TTCbabyscott Hi, sorry you find yourself here. Hopefully I can shed some hope for you. We were TTC since 2013. After 3 consecutive blank SA's, he was diagnosed with azoospermia and had to have a surgical procedure (Micro TESE) to extract sperm. They collected several vials of sperm and froze them until I was prepped & ready for our ET. **TW** I'm currently 7wks pregnant. It is a long road from beginning to end, but incredibly worth it. Wishing you the best of luck!

wifeinraleigh28

I'm so sorry you're finding yourself in this position!!  Infertility is sooooo hard to deal with.  We're also dealing with MFI and I learned very early on in this process that the best way to approach any issues with my DH is to never push him beyond what he currently feels comfortable with.  He suffers from low T and has been taking a supplement for about 10 years to increase his T levels.  We were told by the urologist that the supplement was actually causing very low sperm count and he wanted DH to stop taking it, and take clomid instead.  DH was very much against changing anything because this supplement helped him so much and made him feel normal.  I didn't push the issue at all and he eventually made the decision on his own to make the change.  I think sometimes men just need to take things at their own pace!  And you may find with your DH that he will eventually come around when he is ready.  I think the more we put pressure on them, the more it backfires.  Good luck, hun.  I'm glad you've found us.  This board has provided me with so much support throughout our journey!

paigeed

I have no experience with MFI but I know infertility in general is so rough emotionally for both partners. Does your RE have a psychologist or counselor in their practice you could talk to? Maybe that would help him open up and sort out your feelings together.