Weekly Check In 4/15

lickastick

Happy tax day!

How far along are you? 

How are you feeling?

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?)

Rants/Raves/Questions:

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 

Sporty1216

How far along are you? 18w 4d

How are you feeling? Good! Really tired, but that's because it's a crazy time at work and I've been putting in extra hours after bedtime, meaning I've been up working until midnight or 1am most nights. I'm ready to crash early today!

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Anatomy scan a week from Monday! Can't wait! I've been feeling some movement, I'm pretty sure, but it's far less pronounced than it was at this point with my son. I'm so glad to know that I have an anterior placenta--it's bringing me a lot of peace of mind about the muffled movement. 

Rants/Raves/Questions: I always start to get anxious about a week and a half prior to the next appointment. I am doing my very best to keep it at bay as my anatomy scan gets closer. I'll be really glad when we're past that milestone though. My rant I put in Random Thoughts. We should really publish a list of things not to say to pregnant ladies, including "_____ way of giving birth must be really easy." No. No way of giving birth is "really easy." 

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 

Oh, man. I loved so much about how my parents parented.  I think the thing I hope to emulate the most is that they somehow instilled in us both the knowledge that there were real boundaries and expectations for us, and also that we were absolutely and unconditionally loved. I never doubted for one second that my parents loved me, even when I screwed up, even when I was being disciplined, even when I felt bad about myself. If my kiddos can go through life with that sure knowledge of being absolutely and unconditionally, I will be so happy. If they can also know that they need to listen and be respectful and face consequences for breaking rules, etc., I will be extra happy. The one tangible way I have started to try to implement this with my son is that when he does something naughty, I try to tell him, "I love you, AND....you need to not do x, y, or z because it's not nice (or whatever)." It's so tempting to say "BUT"--but then that makes love seem conditional, I think. So, I'm trying to train myself now to remember that when it comes to the relationship between love and disciplining bad behavior, it is always an AND.

redheadbride15

@Sporty1216 I also get anxious before every appointment! It has gotten a little better over the course of the pregnancy, so I hope the same will bear out for you. The anatomy scan was a huge one for me because I study birth defects for a living. Wishing you all the best with yours!


How far along are you? 32w3d

How are you feeling? Physically: very tired, hemorrhoids are flaring up, otherwise not to shabby. Emotionally I feel considerably better than I was this time last week. My DH is doing a bit better now that we have a plan in place. I cried every night for several days but seem to have worked most of it out of my system. We went out for dinner last night to celebrate the 4 year anniversary of our first date, so we laughed and reminisced and came home and had sex for the first time in about a month. Yesterday I felt better than I have in a long time, like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I still wish I were sleeping better though - I was awake most of last night and I can't seem to wake up and focus today.

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) I had an appointment on Wednesday. My blood pressure is starting to creep up. In the office it was high but I was really anxious. I've been checking it at home too though over the past few days and it's been mildly elevated (130/85). My OB says it's not at a level she would worry about yet and she just wants to keep an eye on it, but I'm worried. Maybe it will be nothing, but I'm mentally preparing myself for the possibility of this baby arriving before 40 weeks.

Rants/Raves/Questions: Thanks to all of you for your support last week. I was a mess and reading your kind words was tremendously helpful.

GTKY: I was parented very well, I think. I was anxious and had a terrible temper but my parents always knew that when I was acting terribly the way to handle me was to scoop me up and give me a huge hug and tell me everything was okay. To this day that's all I ever really want when I'm angry or sad. I think it's right to teach kids to give into their emotions and accept them rather than to try to hold them back. Academically, I was a very slow learner. I was in the "low level" classes and almost had to repeat a few grades throughout elementary school and middle school. My parents continued doling out encouragement and never punished me for bad grades. They recognized early on that my learning style did not jive with the education system's, and decided they were okay with that. I grew up and got two doctorate degrees, so I always like to tell my story to parents of kids who are slow learners. Don't write them off!

rspalding001

How far along are you? 8 +4

How are you feeling? Feeling really tired, but nausea has let up and only bothers me minimally now. Just an overall crappy feeling every day that I cant pinpoint ha ha.

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Sooooo yeah. I just found out yesterday that I have RH Disease. Apparently when I went through one of my losses last year I developed antibodies for the Big E Antigen in my blood. I guess there are some blood compatibility issues with my husband and I. Im totally surprised by this since we had a daughter already and there were no problems with that pregnancy or birth. But now we have to go to genetic counseling since its possible this baby will have a blood type that my blood will now attack since I have these antibodies floating around in there. We still don't know for sure how its going to play out, and there is a chance it will not be an issue but its stressful just the same. I guess if it gets bad it could mean a very early delivery :-(

Rants/Raves/Questions: Anybody have any experience with RH Disease and want to share?

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 

I do remember my parents fighting a lot when we were little and I always wanted to make sure I wasn't like that. So far I think we do pretty good at it. Otherwise I loved the way my parents encouraged being open and honest. I always knew I could call them if I needed a ride home from a party, etc. I want my kids to feel that way too and not try to hide things from 

Sporty1216

@redheadbride15 -- Thanks! I appreciate the empathy. I do remember things getting better once I was past the anatomy scan last time. There's just so much that is unknown prior to that. Obviously, I hope we get a great report at the A/S, but even if we don't, at least I'll know what's going on in there and be able to move forward with more knowledge. I think that helps me a lot. Being a person who likes to know things gets tricky with the whole pregnancy deal. Ha! Also, re: the BP, I hope that it stays moderate. I've recently talked to some mamas locally who had pregnancy-induced high BP (I know there's a more technical term, but my brain is so tired) and one who went on meds for it. She ended up making it to 39 weeks, I think, before they induced her. I know no one wants to end up on meds, but as someone who may also struggle with the whole BP thing, I was glad to hear her story. I also think the fact that you are so active can only help. In any case, I'm glad your OB isn't worried (mine says she won't worry about it unless I am consistently getting home readings over 140) and is giving you and your body time to work it out before jumping to interventions. Also, I LOVE your parents' approach with your emotions. I don't feel like I was taught a lot about how to feel and deal with my emotions growing up, but have learned a lot in adulthood. I definitely try to work with my son on the fact that it's okay to feel how he is feeling, and to try to name it and then figure out a way to deal with it--which is, so often, being scooped up into a giant hug.

@rspalding001 -- I don't have any experience with the RH disease, but I hope you get more information soon and that it doesn't turn out to be a big issue for you all.

Wyattnash00

I love reading your stories!! Great advice @sporty1216 I've learned through being a teacher and nanny that  hearing 'no' all.the.time. tends to have the opposite effect on a child. @redheadbride15, such a great story about how different people learn, I'm glad your feeling better this week about things with your husband and there's a plan in place. Did you tell us that you had high blood pressure?


31+4, I said to my husband 'today I really feel pregnant,' Haa, as opposed to the previous 7 months. 


Feeling good, waited 10 days in between appointments this time with the chiropractor and I was starting to hurt the last 2 days, lesson learned. I have a short torso so I'm losing my breath much easier these days.


baby news: 32 week appt next Thursday with a US, excited for that. My dr said I wasn't going to have a big baby, but id like her to be a bit bigger then my son who was born at 6.9, then dropped to 5.13 in the hospital, a lot of stress the first few months with him putting on weight, which mostly had to do with the hole in his heart. Still would like a bigger babe.


my parents fought ALOT, divorced when I was 5. There close as can be today. I will always be aware of fighting in front of our kids, they see EVERYTHING, even when you think they're little. But after a few years, like 20, my parents became good friends and that's a joy to see. My mother never waivered and I knew I was loved daily, that she would always be there, she went through hell with the divorce so young, worked her ass off, and was unconditional. I hope I'm half the mother she is. My dad and I had our ups and downs, at 5, divorce felt like abandonment..though he was still physically there every week. I think that I married so late because I didn't want to marry my father, and my husband is just the best dad. If I could tell people who are dating the top 5 things on 'must haves' in a husband ..do you think he'll be involved with your children/will he be a good dad takes up like 3 spots! Last night I came home and my husband had my 21 month old standing on a chair in the kitchen helping him make pancakes for dinner. Just pure love. Stupid example but something I don't often think of doing in the routine of our day.

redheadbride15

@rspalding001 Sorry about the blood type incompatibility issue. I'm glad you're seeing the genetic counselor because she should be able to walk you through how it happened and what your risks are. It's actually not surprising that you didn't have a problem with your daughter - either she may not carry the big E gene or even if she does there is not always mixing of maternal/fetal blood during pregnancy so you may not have gotten exposed. I hope you get all your questions answered!

@Sporty1216 Yes, I'm not tooooooo worried about the BP. I've just reached the point in my pregnancy where I'm feeling the remaining weeks slipping away, and so even a slightly early induction at 38-39 weeks could throw things out of whack. I have a HUGE grant deadline at work 2 days before my due date, so I've started crunching that. Also, we haven't done much baby prep work yet!

@Wyattnash00 I couldn't agree more with your thoughts on choosing a partner who will be involved. My DH has his issues and insecurities but he's 100% committed, gentle, attentive, and affectionate. Also, my divorced parents also became friends again later in life - it's sweet, but it also removes a ton of stress from weddings and other family gatherings!

lillebowski23

@rspalding001 I don't have experience with Rh mixing, but I am Rh negative and it is something that has been on my mind too. This is my first pregnancy and I am hoping that things go smoothly. I hope the same for you!

 
How far along are you? 28w2days real 3rd tri baby! WOO!

How are you feeling? Lots of achiness in my abdominals and also in my mid back. Dealing with carpal tunnel at night with a wrist brace and starting to get less sleep. Also I have been on a real emotional roller coaster for the last 2 weeks. Other than that I am staying active and resting when I can. Looking forward to some fun plans this weekend AND I have Monday off! I plan to work in my garden and spend some quality time outdoors. Hopefully, DH will be feeling better (he's had a nasty cold) and we'll be able to spend some time together too. We haven't had sex in a little while and I am kinda hard up for it now!!

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) I had a glucose test on Tuesday, and my results came back normal! So woo hoo to that! Also had my TDap and Rhogam shots. Everything looks good so far, BP is good (118/70), weight is... what it is (211#), and Baby Amy's heartbeat is strong. This was my last monthly appointment, and in May I start going every 2-3 weeks. Looks like we're in the home stretch(ish)!

Rants/Raves/Questions: Let's get the unpleasantness out of the way first. MOMMY BLOGS: Love to Hate or what? Well, I recently decided that I didn't need to worry about 900 other things so I stopped following a lot of Mommy Blogs on Social Media. I started following them when I was first PG, but the truth is much of their content and comments piss me off or stress me out and I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. So AWAY WITH YE!!

Next a Rave: Although it sometime hurts when Baby Amy moves, I LOVE feeling her move around! I feel like we are communicating through the movement even though it's mostly just her exploring her body and the space around it. Because it has been so nice out, I've been spending some time on my back porch with my belly exposed to the sun which she either loves or hates because she moves drastically when exposed to the sun!  Also, the prenatal yoga class I am taking seems to be doing us both a world of good and for the first time, I actually felt like she was her own person and consciousness and not just a part of me. Now I am really excited to meet her!

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 
So many things to think about here. I think my parents did a great job with me and all of my sisters and I enjoy a close relationship with my family today. One thing that is vastly different is that I am 13 years older now than my mom was when she had me (I'm the oldest) and she felt familial pressure to get married and have babies. I certainly felt that pressure, but my mom raised me to say, "f - it" and I always lived my own life. 
While I still live within driving distance of my family, I don't live on the "family compound." Basically, a cul-de-sac where 3 generations of my family currently live. I grew up there. Living there as an adult was never something that I wanted because even though it can be nice to have extended family around I like knowing that I can have my own life apart from them and they are not always up in my business. I want to support my daughter's independence.

My mom and dad encouraged me to take on any opportunity that came my way. They taught me to be compassionate and to accept people where they are. I want to do the same with my daughter. I want to teach her that she is in control of her boundaries. I want her to know that she is loved unconditionally. 

We want her to be happy and healthy and  be able to enjoy everything that life has in store!

redheadbride15

@lillebowski23 I'm grumpy because I seem to work for the only organization in Boston that does NOT give Patriot's Day off. Also, mommy blogs drive me crazy too. I already over-think everything - I don't need more fuel for the fire!

carrieandr

How far along are you? 25 weeks tomorrow

How are you feeling? I'm sleeping on top of a fluffy blanket with a body pillow. That's helping my back/hip/leg pain at night.

Any baby news? My gestational diabetes test was negative. And I'll be getting an u/s at my next appt in 4 weeks. Yay!

Rants/Raves/Questions: @rspalding001 I got test results today via email and I don't really know what they mean. The first test said "Antibody screen: positive" and the second one said "Antibody identification 2, Anti-D: negative, Antigen type: negative for D." @redheadbride15 do you know what that means? I assume I'll get a call from the doctor if there is something I need to know, but that would probably be next week.

GTKY: I was parented really well, but one thing that bugged me was that my mom used to make comments a lot about me being hers. Not just in a "you'll always be my baby" kind of way. I had to have a talk with her eventually about how I was my own person just as much as she was. I wasn't her doll or something. I'm sure when children are little they feel very much like they belong to you, but I never want to give my children the feeling that bringing them into the world means they exist for me and belong to me. It was mostly a phase we went through as I was transitioning from a child to a pre-teen/teen. My mom had a pretty rough time after my sister and I left for college, too. I think she lost herself in motherhood. I think the women on this board will have an advantage with that since we had full lives before being mothers.

@redheadbride15 I'll have to remember that advice about hugging a child that's acting up. My husband has fixed so many bad moods and arguments with a hug or some kind of affection. It really does help. Scolding would have the opposite effect.

Mamafesto

How far along are you? 21 weeks

How are you feeling? great other than some sciatica nagging at my left butt cheek from time to time...

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Had a great midwife appt earlier this week. Baby's heart beat was strong and I'm measuring right on schedule. Decided with the midwife that I won't follow up on cervical length since it was normal at my 20w u/s and am planning to schedule a follow up u/s to look at the cyst on baby's brain b/w 32-34 weeks (although no one's particularly concerned about that either). Next regular mw appt is in 3.5 weeks.

Rants/Raves/Questions: My rave is that it is finally Spring in New England!!! Got out for a hike and picnic with DS and a friend today on my day off. It was glorious. Also, DS was so pooped when we got back that he's been napping for the last 2.5 hours (this rarely happens anymore). It's a good day!

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style?

My parents are immigrants and had a very old school philosophy on parenting. They certainly were not afraid to spare the rod and there was a lot of shouting in our house growing up.  While I am definitely parenting with discipline and boundaries, we do not use corporal punishment and try not to raise our voices (although we're only human and every once in while it happens), so that's different. Also, my mother was a SAHM and my father hardly did anything to help around the house or with us kids. There were very defined gender roles and my brother was definitely treated differently than my sister and me. My partner and I have the opposite kind of relationship and we view each other as partners in parenting and all other aspects of our lives. He is very hands on and will taking nearly as much leave time as I will when baby comes. Despite my parent's shortcomings, my siblings and I have all grown into well-adjusted, independent professionals, so they clearly did a lot right. One thing I really appreciated is that they fostered a lot of independence and encouraged us to seize opportunities and take risks. I hope to do the same for my kids. I also feel fortunate that DP and I have many more resources and fewer obstacles than my parents did when they were raising my siblings and me. Overall, my childhood helps me to keep things in perspective and remember that kids are resilient and as long as they know they are loved, they are likely to turn out alright.

Glow360

I'm 15 weeks, feeling human again. Lost 30 pounds but now that I feel better I'm gaining. I found out via DNA I'm having a daughter. Everything looks healthy and doing well so far. I have OB appointment next week. Starting to look at baby girl nursery themes.....found some great ideas on laybabylay.com starting to feel excited about pregnancy and safer knowing I've made it this far.

rspalding001

@CarrieandRoyHmmmmmm, mine said AB Screen/Ind. Coombs: Positive ; Antibody ID: Anti-E ; Antigen Type: E Neg.
im not sure if yours are saying you don't have the Anti D or if it's just saying you have D Neg. but you are right that your Doctor will let you know if it's something you need to worry about. So far mine is telling me not to worry so I'm just trying to take that advice

redheadbride15

@CarrieandRoy my interpretation is the same that @rspalding001 said: it means your blood cells are negative for the Rh(D) antigen, but that your blood does not have anti-D antibodies, which is good. I'd confirm with your doctor though! 

Blood groups and antibody screens are really complicated. It's all based on markers (proteins) which are also referred to as antigens on the surface of blood cells. Your blood cells have hundreds of these markers but only a handful are clinically significant. The major antigens are the ABO class (you can have either A or B or both (AB) or neither (O)). Compatibility problems with ABO class don't tend to cause problems in pregnancy, though sometimes they can cause mild anemia or jaundice in newborns. They check baby's blood type at birth to see if he/she is at risk for this. The other big group of antigens is the Rh group, which is HUGE and contains many different antigens. The major one is the D antigen, which is what people are referring to when they say you're "Rh positive" or "Rh negative". There are a few others, like @rspalding001 mentioned the big E, and the little c. Rh incompatibility can lead to break-down of blood cells in the fetus, which, when severe, can lead to problems. But just having the antibody doesn't always mean your baby will be affected - it's much more complicated than that! And also some cases are very mild.

Sporty1216

Wow, @redheadbride15 ! I totally just geeked out over your explanation! That was awesome. I was a biology major until my senior year (then I switched to English and went to grad school for that) so even though it's not what I "do," I totally love the science of things! That was awesome. 

redheadbride15

Sporty1216 said:

Wow, @redheadbride15 ! I totally just geeked out over your explanation! That was awesome. I was a biology major until my senior year (then I switched to English and went to grad school for that) so even though it's not what I "do," I totally love the science of things! That was awesome. 

Haha, I can never get enough of this stuff. It's why I do what I do

lickastick

How far along are you? 19 weeks 

How are you feeling? Pretty good this week, but tired today! 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) I have my anatomy scan on tuesday and heard the heartbeat with the midwife on thursday.

Rants/Raves/Questions: 3 raves!!! 1.In the past few days I have been feeling baby boy kick/move without having to lay down and really concentrate on feeling it. We had pancakes for breakfast this morning at our favorite restaurant and baby was kicking away to the pancakes! 2. I worked out 4 days this week!! 3. I went to Ross, which I have not gone to in years (I love marshals) and they have maternity clothes there and I got like 10 tops for $100. 

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 

I love how positive so many people's answers are! Let's just say that my parents are a work in progress. My parents got divorced when I was 17 and truthfully I wish they would have done it much much sooner. My dad was an alcoholic/drug addict until I was about 8 years old and my mom is sort of a kid herself when it comes to emotional development. They knew each other from when they were 13 and they had us pretty young. The lack of consistency in my house drove me insane, we were punished haphazardly and never really "rewarded" for good behavior, but just when my parents felt like it. Our punishments never really fit the crime and my parents had very poor follow through. I did however develop an great sense of self and independence from this environment. I know my parents love me and I have a good relationship with my mom these days.
I love what you said @Sporty1216 of I love you AND..... I'd like to do that, as well as have clear boundaries and above all else consistency!

@Sporty1216 I am so excited for you to hopefully find out boy/girl (and have a good scan of course.)
@lillebowski23 congrats on the 3rd tri!!! wahoo!
Congrats on all of the good GD results ladies.

BernieRae

How far along are you? 16 weeks 3 days 

How are you feeling? Pretty good. 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) I had a regular check up Monday and then a last minute appointment yesterday because I had a little spotting scare. Everything checked out ok and I haven't had any more spotting. It was hardly anything (mostly mucus) and just the once so likely It was an irritated cervix,  but I've had zero spotting so far so it made me nervous. I appreciated that my OB office was able to see me right away and did a thorough exam.

Rants/Raves/Questions: I knew this before yesterday, but my husband is such a grouchy zombie in the morning before he is fully caffeinated. This spotting incident happened right before my school starts and I ended up going home because I knew I couldn't monitor things while chasing after 3 year olds.  DH had the day off and so I woke him up when I got home to tell him. He acted like I was crazy and seemed super annoyed that we were going to see the doctor. That did not help at all! Much later in the day he apologized and said what he always says, that he isn't  himself first thing in the morning. I asked what his real self would've said to me instead and he said all the right things. Even though I know this about him, it really sucked to not have some comfort when I needed it. He needs to teach his tired zombie self to fake it, because stuff happens in the early morning sometimes! 

GTKY: I had a nice childhood. In the early years my mom did resort to spanking and I remember that it was always when she was at her limit. I don't remember it being often or feeling pain or anything, but it was not a good situation. I can remember one time her chasing after me and me scooting along the floor on my bottom so she couldn't spank me. I used to keep an open mind about spanking, but after professionally  working with children for so many years it's now an absolute never. I've had quite a bit of practice with children bringing me to my limit and in remaining mostly calm anyway because it's my job. I've also learned many strategies for handling challenging behaviors. I hope this will help me parent and be a good model for my husband who has not had this practice.

a positive is that my mom didn't hound us about how much we ate during meals and treats weren't connected to how much we ate at a meal. I was always confused when I went to a friend's house and was encouraged to take a certain amount of bites of something. I had a healthy appetite and liked vegatables and all that anyway. My sister was more of a picky eater, but grew up into a healthy adult who eats a variety of foods. I plan to do the same with my kid. 

carrieandr

@redheadbride15 So I'm negative for the D antigen because I am Rh-, correct? (A-, specifically.) And the fact that I'm negative for Anti-D antibodies means that either my blood hasn't mixed with the baby or the baby is Rh- as well, correct? The thing that puzzles me is that the first antibody screen said positive. Was that just for any kind of antibodies, not necessarily Rh related?

Jenniferk08

How far along are you? 
23 weeks a few days

How are you feeling?
still having back problems so I'm now in the "only wearing sneakers" stage. 

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?)
I have my regular check up next week. Another month until my next u\s. 

Rants/Raves/Questions:

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 

I would love to be 1/2 the parent my mom was too me at this age. She could do so much. I can barely get laundry folded. 

redheadbride15

CarrieandRoy said:

@redheadbride15 So I'm negative for the D antigen because I am Rh-, correct? (A-, specifically.) And the fact that I'm negative for Anti-D antibodies means that either my blood hasn't mixed with the baby or the baby is Rh- as well, correct? The thing that puzzles me is that the first antibody screen said positive. Was that just for any kind of antibodies, not necessarily Rh related?

Yes, this is how I'd interpret it. You're Rh D- but your body has not developed any anti-D antibodies. You can generate anti-D antibodies during any pregnancy or pregnancy loss if the fetus is D+, so this means that either a) your fetus(s) have been D-, b) there was no mixing of your blood with the fetuses, or c) there was mixing but your body didn't form antibodies. The way that Rhogam works is to prevent your body from making the antibodies, so if you were given Rhogam during your loss (and you should during this pregnancy too) then this should keep you anti-D antibody negative even if there is blood mixing.

The antibody screen does test for many antibodies, so I'd interpret this to mean that an antibody was detected in your blood. This is a first-step screening test, and if it's positive they go and test specifically for the antibodies that are likely to be clinically relevant (like D). Without knowing the details of the test that they used, I can't tell you specifically if they tested for other antibodies that may be relevant, so I'd double-check with your doctor to make sure that's the way they'd interpret it too.

jilligan14

How far along are you? 23 weeks, 2 days

How are you feeling? Up and down. Having some struggles with DH lately.

Any baby news? Next appointment is April 29. I get to drink that horrible orange drink then. Ugh, so not looking forward to that!

Rants: Sore boobs. They just keep hurting. I've outgrown all of my old bras and even the new nursing ones I bought in the past month or so. I basically live in sports bras (go uniboob). Plus my boobs are now completely covered in nasty stretch marks, despite the fact that I've been oiling them up morning and night with all sorts of creams and magic lotions. I never expected my boobs to grow this much or to cause me this many problems. Sigh.

I've also been fighting with DH more lately. I'm not sure if it's him or me. He seems so grumpy, edgy and kind of mean. Last night we were watching a show with a friend and DH got up to go into the kitchen to get a snack. After a minute or so I paused the show and told him he was missing a good part. He yelled at me from the kitchen that I was being all controlling and demanding and that he could hear the show from where he was. I was like, WTF? Where did that come from? I was so upset that I didn't sleep much last night and he still insists it was all my fault, that I'm always trying to "control" his actions and what not. I was just concerned he was missing the show but I can't seem to get that point across to him so not sure what to do. It seems like such a little thing but man, it sure did blow up.

Raves: We got a new (used) car last week at a decent price. We only had one car and it was a 2-door - not really baby-friendly. So I'm excited and relieved we got a good car sorted well in advance.

GTKY: I had a really awesome childhood. We grew up in a rustic log cabin and my parents were all about getting back-to-the-land. We had a big garden, raised lots of animals, milked goats, made maple syrup, climbed trees, were home-schooled, etc. My parents were very supportive, loving, funny, and real with us. They supported all of our dreams, no matter how unrealistic they were. I never really had any issues growing up, not even during my teen years. In fact, I was super close with my parents during my teen years and often spent my weekends going on fun trips and doing things with them (and bringing along friends/boyfriends). However, I hit a super rough patch with my parents when I turned 30. I ended up living on the other side of the world after traveling and my mom majorly freaked out about me no longer being physically close to them. Our relationship started going downhill and I didn't know what to do to fix it. In addition to this, there was a lot of drama in the extended family, which resulted in my parents boycotting our wedding (because I invited certain people, etc.). Anyway, it's been a rough 6 years with them but things seem to be improving since I've told them the baby news. They are actually talking to me again, which really makes me happy. I want to give my child(ren) all of the same wonderful experiences I had growing up. I want to make a point of ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS being there for them, no matter what happens, no matter what conflict we experience, no matter what life throws our way. I feel like unconditional love is the most important thing a parent can offer a child and I'm prepared to give it nonstop.

carrieandr

@redheadbride15 I'm not sure if I got a Rhogam shot when I got my d&c last year. And I didn't get anything for the chemical pregnancy. But I did get a shot at 10 weeks this time around because I was spotting. The dr left that decision up to me, which I thought was odd. I certainly wasn't going to say no. And I'm getting another shot at my next appt at 28.5 weeks.

carrieandr

@jilligan14 that was definitely him, not you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that right now. My DH has exploded at me for some pretty random stuff, too. Once it was for moving his radio to the area of the house he was in because it was blasting right outside my office and I had a headache. I brought it closer to him. I still don't see what the problem was. 

jilligan14

Thanks @CarrieandRoy. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who deals with random explosions over silly things, although it makes me sad that we have to deal with this sort of stuff, especially while pregnant. Sigh.

Sporty1216

Yeah, I'm with @CarrieandRoy . That was definitely NOT you, @jilligan14 . I mean, you PAUSED the show for him. If anything, that's you being accommodating, not controlling.  It's not like you yelled at him that you couldn't believe he dared get up and get a snack during the show, ruining it for everyone for all time all over the world!

We've had these moments too. I sometimes HONESTLY think I am doing something that would be interpreted as kind and/or accommodating and it turns into a fight. Who knows. But those things always get me too because I just can't sort out how they went so sideways, so unexpectedly. It does suck to have to deal with these things. But hopefully you guys can talk at some point when emotions aren't running high and get back on track. We're taking a long weekend starting tomorrow and doing a little mini roadtrip. Those hours in the car are always good times for us to connect. I don't have anything to bring up right now, but I do hope we can just feel more connected after the trip. I hope you and your DH find something to help you feel reconnected too. Hang in there!

emsmama15

How far along are you? 20w6d

How are you feeling?  Pretty decent, still painful, but slightly better after the chiropractor last week.  

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?)  Nothing this week, I'll have my next ultrasound and OB appointment the following week.

Rants/Raves/Questions:  Rave - the weather has been amazing here in Minnesota.  I think I've been mildly depressed recently from the cold and getting March snow and I'm feeling so rejuvenated after being outside with my daughter the past two days.  

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 
My mom yelled a lot and said things that made me feel ... dumb.  I think that was how she was parented, but I don't even want my kids to feel demeaned by the things I say or do.  On the other hand, strangely, my parents both always tried to make me feel like I could do anything.  I know they truly loved me and were proud of me.  And they always told me how smart I was.  But when my mom got angry, it was like a different person took over and she would try to knock me down.  It was so odd.  I don't want my kids to feel that confusion.

emsmama15

@jilligan14 - that definitely wasn't you.  I have to say, I think my hubby and I know our pregnant selves better this time around.  We're getting along a lot better.  Or, my hubby is just keeping his mouth shut more, which also works.  Or he just figures my wrath will be twice as bad with twins.  Whatever it is, we're getting along remarkably well, but my first pregnancy was a bit dicey.  Hang in there.  You're both dealing with new emotions and I know that guy loves you to pieces.  I'm sorry you had to deal with this though.  Hugs.   

Wyattnash00

@emsmama15, you have @carrieandRoy as your profile pic, weird!

Sporty1216

@jilligan14 -- DH and I got to take our turn with that this morning! Apparently the fact that I wanted his input on a little road trip we are taking was too much! "Most women would love for their husbands to just go wherever they want! But not you! Of course not!" The truth is I didn't want to go anywhere. It was his idea and somehow I got stuck doing the planning despite my efforts not to. 

Looking at it now, I'm surprised I didn't just laugh because it was so ridiculous. But instead I sobbed. He was grouchy because he had broken his wallet. And that got displaced. He apologized before we left the house and we have had a nice time with lots of "parallel" time for good conversation. I'm pretty sure he knows that was all him, and not me. Still not fun. But hoping that's the last of it for a while. Hope you guys have had a better couple of days too. 

emsmama15

@Wyattnash00 - how odd.  From my end, it's my pup!  Is it fixed now?  

Wyattnash00

Yup it's ur pup now @emsmama15!

Piperella

How far along are you? 16w1d

How are you feeling? Feeling pretty good. Food/smell aversions are definitely there.  A little down because I don't have a 'D' bump, but am looking forward to when I do look more pregnant.  Clumsiness is in full effect.

Any baby news (tests results/scans/upcoming appointments?) Have my 16w appt with my Ob on Wednesday.  

Rants/Raves/Questions: We ended up buying a home fetal doppler and have heard him twice to reassure us. Once before posting our announcement on Fb last week and then yesterday just to start off the week well.  He was moving around and my DH was "controlling" the doppler and couldn't believe how he would get the hb, and then little Bojangles would "run" away.  We always found him again but he's pretty active in there. I'm looking forward to when I can feel him hiccup.

GTKY: I bet each of us has at some point in our life has said "I never want to do ________ like my parents did!" How do you hope/try to be different from your parent(s) in their parenting style. Anything you loved that your parent(s) did when you were little that you want to make a part of your parenting style? 
I read this question on Friday, and have stayed away from it until now.  My dad was very "jewish" and always expected As from me in school.  Bs were never good enough.  The amount of pressure on me caused stress and issues with sleeping from when I was in 2nd grade and has never really stopped.  Even now, he wanted my to have either a very beautiful little girl or a "buff" little boy.  I'm not doing that to my child(ren).  I want them exposed to a lot, to try their best, and to be well rounded.  I think between my DH and I, we can provide that.  My mom was a bit too passive for me, and I always wish she would have stood up for herself. She was a SAHM for the longest time who made freshly baked cookies when we came home, made sure we had everything we needed before going out and playing with our friends.  I know she tried to counterbalance my dad who was never home, but I hope to have a better blend of parenting style.

jilligan14

Thanks for the support and encouragement, ladies! It helps so much to have you all on my side

It was a pretty rough weekend for DH and I. We both worked all day Saturday and didn't talk that night (and we slept in separate beds :-( We eventually talked on Sunday night and DH did admit that there were a lot of things that have been weighing on him (finances and the such) so it was good to get to the bottom of his outburst. He apologized for acting the way he did but went on to explain that he doesn't want me to ever pause a TV show or movie for him in the future. I had no idea that was such a trigger for him but apparently he doesn't like some things on TV (he finds that some scenes are too much, too awkward, too emotional, too much cringe factor, etc), so that's why he doesn't ask for the show to be paused and used that time to get up and walk away (make a snack, etc). Well, I never knew this and it's my natural inclination to make sure he doesn't miss anything important. Anyway, I know now to not pause the show for him and to just let him do his own thing. Not sure what to do about the other issues (finances mainly) because I'm a bit stressed/worried about that as well. We're both self-employed and his income takes a huge dip over the summer (he's a math/physics tutor), plus we're soon to be losing a roommate (which contributed towards our rent in a significant way) and going down to a single income. And we just bought a new (used) car, which ate up most of our savings (we only had a 2-door car and got a nice 4-door car). Yikes, it's all getting way too real...

redheadbride15

@jilligan14 I'm so glad you and your DH talked. Isn't it amazing what comes out when people actually communicate about why they're acting so crazy? I'm with you - I totally would never have understood why he would have difficulty with you pausing the show, but it sounds like he explained it to you very well. I hope you can have more conversations and encourage each other to open up about the things that trigger negative reactions like that. And about finances... this is always SO stressful! It will be difficult but I bet both of you will feel better if you set aside some time to sit down and hash out your budget, figure out exactly where you stand, and begin making plans for how to make it all work. It's totally overwhelming at first, but if you tackle it methodically it will definitely be helpful in the long run.

Sporty1216

@jilligan14 -- I'm with @redheadbride15 . I'm so glad you guys were able to communicate about what was going on--and that what seemed so random and out of the blue had a reason behind it. Even if it played out poorly at first, it's good that ultimately it helped you know him better and now you two have more intimacy than you even did before!

i think the hammering out a budget is a great idea too. I know for me and my DH, even stressful financial moments are so much less stressful because we have a budget and a pretty clear plan for where our money goes each month. It has really helped us be "on the same team" with finances and the victories and struggles are shared, which creates more closeness for us. We also do small allowances of "fun money" each month and I love that. We can spend that without discussion or save it or whatever. We find that a little bit of "freedom" within a fairly structured system really helps us stick to the structure.

anyway You didn't ask for budget advice. Sorry! I just get so excited about it because it really has helps eliminate almost all conflict over money and has created so many opportunities for us to work together. I'm sure you guys will sort things out in a way that works and brings peace of mind for you!

carrieandr

@jilligan14 We're dealing with a financial crisis as well. I bought a 4-door car in anticipation of getting pregnant and two months later, my biggest client (more than half my income) told me they'd be leaving me. I hadn't had a car payment in many years. Since then, work has been super slow and we've been hit with a zillion financial things. The latest of which are that we had to buy a new washer and dryer on Monday and today we found out we need a new $4600 air conditioner. All this while remodeling the bathroom for the baby (which DH demolished in August -- so there was no turning back!) I would try to bring in new clients, but with a baby on the way, now isn't a good time for that. I'm majorly stressing. I feel so irresponsible. Before that client left, everything was great. We could have handled the myriad of financial hits with no problem.

jilligan14

@CarrieandRoy - oh man, I feel your pain! It's so rough being self-employed, especially when a chunk of your income rides on one person. I teach at two different studios and one is reducing pay for summer camps, which is usually my most lucrative season. I also have to pay for an assistant at all my camps since I most likely won't be able to demonstrate moves in the air when I'm all big and huge. Plus my husband makes very little over the summer so all of this is really not looking good. I do like the idea of doing a budget but also know it's going to be hard to get by with such little income coming in. In addition to this, I've been busy sorting out subs for my classes for the fall and the studio owner is cool with most of it except one class (which is my biggest class) - which she has just handed over to another teacher permanently (meaning I won't get it back when I come back from maternity leave). This really, really, really sucks but at the same time there's some major issues with working at this studio so I'm wondering if it's a sign that I leave and find somewhere else. I've also been wanting to start my own business again and although it seems super overwhelming to take that on right now, it would mean bringing in more income overall and allow me more time at home (where I could do admin work instead of teaching for long hours). Anyway, sorry that you're struggling with similar issues. Like I said, self-employment can be so tough.

Sporty1216

@CarrieandRoy and @jilligan14 -- that all sounds tough! I'm sorry that you're having to face all of this! I hope that good solutions present themselves--and soon!

Piperella

@carrieandroy and @jilligan14 - I totally get what you all are saying, although I'm not self employed.  My DH has had a hard time finding a career since moving over from Scotland, but that is partially due to his lack of education.  He was never encouraged to get an education, so as soon as he could work, he did.  He has been in community college for quite a few years here and is struggling with math (as a former special ed teacher, I notice some issues) and it stresses me out.  Hopefully this fall he will be able to complete all the classes he needs for his AA.  He works part time but the money he does make goes straight into helping us keep afloat.  It's very stressful being the breadwinner and trying to be supportive of him.  I'm sorry you all are stressed as well.  I keep trying to think that while in this moment, I feel stressed, hopefully as the months pass by, things will get easier and the stress I feel now will be less.. 

carrieandr

@jilligan14, that sucks that you're losing a class because of your pregnancy. I think I'm going to lose one of my clients due to mine. I sent an email to my clients with the news and that I'll just be taking two weeks off when she's born, but one of my clients hasn't responded. And it's the one I thought might drop someone for having a baby.