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May 2016 Moms
kitandcat
member
Options
FAT
kitandcat
member
I need some moral support. I've gained a normal amount of weight so far... but apparently a nice chunk of it went to MY FACE. Two things people stare at when they see me... my bump, and my face. I FEEL SO FAT all the time - I feel bad when I get ready for work, while I'm at work, when I'm at home - all the time because I feel like I just look disgusting!!!!!! I feel like I have like 4 chins. My husband's coworkers are throwing us a shower this Friday and I'm totally dreading it because I will be meeting almost all of them for the first time and I am just not comfortable in my skin!!
Please share your struggle with physical appearance to #1) make me feel like I'm not alone, and #2) because I already feel a little better getting it out!
Please share your struggle with physical appearance to #1) make me feel like I'm not alone, and #2) because I already feel a little better getting it out!
Re: FAT
I saw pics taken at my shower and I wanted to cry. I am massive.
On a positive note though - pregnancy made me realise that my body (when I am not pregnant) is 100% in my control, and I am planning on taking FULL advantage of it. I will exercise more, eat better and take better care of myself. But, when I am done cooking this little one.
At least it's almost over - and then we will have our babies and everything will seem worth it x
It is temporary, and at this point it's VERY temporary, so try not to focus on it too much.
I'm absolutely struggling with this. I'd lost 115 pounds before getting pregnant, and I've now gained 35 pounds at 36 weeks pregnant. But, I've realized that my body is probably going to do what it wants to do throughout pregnancy. I've tracked my food this entire time to give myself some peace of mind, but no matter what I do, I have gained steadily throughout.
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
BFP 2: October 07, 2019
EDD 2: June 20, 2020
I'm hoping that I never forget how winded I get walking down the hallway and use that as motivation to not be this heavy outside of pregnancy! I've always thought that I had a strong body image, but pregnancy is hard on the body and body image!
Mama to Three Girls:
Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor
and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
I understand how you feel though. We just need to keep the perspective of everything our bodies are doing. We are all so close!
I almost avoid seeing people I haven't seen in months because I feel like the changes and weight gain will be most obvious to them. Then I got sick this week so I have the sinus pressure puffiness on top of everything else with a dinner event on the calendar for the weekend (given I'm over being sick). It's like, hmmm let's see, should I wear this moo moo or this shirt that is way too tight or just throw in the towel and not go
I've always struggled with accepting my body (former eating disorder), and I've suffered from some body dysmorphia where I can't see what others see. I was terrified of pregnancy, so my only silver lining is that I don't actually think my pregnant body is as bad as I thought it would be. My mom's side of the family are so critical over bodies. When I posted a photo from around Week 32 on facebook, everyone told me how great I looked and that I was glowing. It made me feel SO good. It's the only bump picture I've posted to FB this pregnancy. My mom on the other hand? "Wow. It looks like you're carrying low. Has the doctor changed your due date to sooner?" I mean, what the shit is that supposed to mean? Why couldn't she just say, "you look fantastic!" She gets it from her mom/my grandmother. They always have to say something that could taken as slightly critical but probably harmless. It drives me INSANE.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!im an also fairly active person, so it's weird struggling to be physically active. I am admittedly looking forward to being and feeling fit again.
DS: Born 5-17-16
Ugh. Also, because my nasal cavities are swollen as well, I can't breathe without multiple daily saline rinses. I have become a mouth-breather! Between that and the asthma I am cardiovascularly weaker than I have ever been, and I woke up late last night worried that my pregnancy was masking congestive heart failure (because we don't already have enough to worry about, right?).
I'm comforted by the fact that it's only temporary. The water retention, that is. The asthma is probably not going anywhere, unfortunately.
So yeah, OP, I feel you:)
BUT!!! On a related note--I think it's SUPER important to say this: Most of us will not "get our bodies back"!!
We might have more control over our bodies than we do now and we'll definitely be able to move around and exercise more easily (and not have to deal with crazy cravings!), but between stretch marks, widened hips, widened ribs, skin pigmentation alterations, depleted bone calcium, worsening eyesight, and, yes, additional weight and an altered metabolism (in addition to all the other lovely things we are currently subject to), our bodies will be, in some way, forever changed by these pregnancies. We will never look exactly the same as we did before.
This shouldn't be depressing--if it is, that's only because we have been conditioned to think there's only one way to be beautiful; that our thinnest, tautest, most blemish-free selves are our "best" and "real" selves; that our self-worth should be based on how little space we take up or how neatly we fit into some constantly shifting description of what is "conventionally" attractive; and that being healthy means being exactly the right version of "thin."
None of that is true. And I'm afraid that all this talk of looking forward to "getting our bodies back" is just setting us up for disappointment, self-criticism, and unhealthy behaviors like dieting.
The fact of the matter is that our loved ones will love us regardless of how our bodies look, that we can all be as stylish as we care to be at any size (Fatshionistas!), and that you can be healthy and fit and even an athlete and still be obese (check out the Fit Fatties Forum to see folks in action: https://fitfatties.ning.com/). Research shows *weight stigma* and not weight itself to be the single biggest cause of weight-related illness. It's not the fat itself, it's the shame about fat that makes us and those around us act in unhealthful ways (for example: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2866597/).
So: Heck yes to getting back to our pre-pregnancy activity levels and fitness/health goals, but hell no to the idea that we should even try to look like we did before!
I feel your pain.
I was 127 pre pregnancy and now am pushing 180... I have put on an excessive amount of weight ( a lot of it being water weight because I'm swollen everywhere including my face as well) it's a VERY hard adjustment especially for first time moms. Like others have said, it's temporary and I know for myself it has made me realize and appreciate the way I looked before pregnancy and I was stupid for ever thinking I was heavy or not my ideal weight back then. Just remember it's all for your LO and will be totally worth it. After birth you can start working to get your normal back. It will happen, just takes time. People will not judge you based on looks.. you're pregnant, its normal for our bodies to change. But I completely understand how you feel... it's a really crappy thing but we just have to tell ourselves its worth it and it will go away. Keep your head up. We are almost there!!
Also, we are fortunate that we get to have our babies in May. A lot of babywearing, exploring, and enjoying the summertime. I found it *much* easier not only in terms of weight loss, but also in coping with postpartum emotional shit to have my youngest daughter in April. My older daughter was born in October and being stuck indoors for the winter with a newborn wasn't quite as easy.
it only is worse when I get swollen and then my face blows up like a balloon.
Looking forward to loosing this baby weight after she's born and like what I see in the mirror again!
And OP, you are definitely not alone! While picking up my son from daycare not too long ago, his teacher said to me "Ohhh, it's in your face now!"
I keep trying to remember that hopefully it's temporary, but I am a bit sad that I won't have hardly any photos of this pregnancy because I don't want to document how disgusting I've looked the whole time.
I am a STM and went through all of this with baby #1 as well. However, that baby was born in November and as PP mentioned, that was HARD!! It is a blessing to have this baby in May. My husband and I made that a point when planning baby #2.
I also think it's important not to pay TOO much attention to the Hollywood pregnancies. They make such a big deal about how little weight they gain and how quickly they are back to their pre-pregnancy bodies.Guess what? It's not that fast and easy for the rest of us. Most of us will be doing it without multiple nannies, trainers and chefs! It took me some time last time and probably will again but it's OK. Give yourself a break and just try to remember that it will ALL be worth it. I promise!
Oh and it also helps to have a "no pictures" policy. My family is told this many, MANY times
Hang in there!! We are close to the finish line!
OP: Sadly, we all have insecurities with our bodies (pregnant or not). I totally feel you on feeling/looking fat... especially while trying clothes on. Just remember that you're creating a beautiful little baby who is going to love you no matter what you look like! Plus, you will go back to feeling like your normal self soon enough.
I've gained half the weight that I did last time thankfully, but I still feel like my face is swollen at lot. I hate pics because I feel like my eyes are barely visible. Ugh. I'm not going to let that keep me from getting pics taken this time though. I definitely hate that regret.
One thing that kept me from having the motivation to lose all the weight the first time was that in the back of my head I knew that I'd be getting pregnant again and the weight would all come back. Since we're 2 and done, I am actually pretty excited to get dedicated to being a fit mom. We can do this ladies! Only a few more weeks to go!
worked up about the changes. I had thought I was all belly, but that no longer (after some stints of bed rest) is the case. I am struggling to embrace it.
At the shower I actually had a close friend (who has never been pregnant) point out to me that it was my hips
that were making me so big. I had to walk away, wasn't sure if I was going to be a B or cry.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
This time I'm pregnant through the wettest winter in Oregon history so I've been super inactive, and (thankfully, don't get me wrong) my sickness has been much better managed so I'm actually eating, and at 35 weeks I've already gained 25 lbs, as well as getting stretch marks for the first time in my life. Plus for some reason my skin has gotten crazy dry and I don't have the luscious thick hair I had with my first. I am definitely not feeling positive about the way I look these days
i am glad, as PP pointed out, that we'll be having these babies going into summer because maybe I'll be less depressed/ anxious in the postpartum period than I was last time around if I can get out in the sun and be active & social. Hopefully that'll help us all feel a little better about ourselves.
And yeah, hooray for summer babies. I'm looking forward to walking miles and miles all around the city and taking a million cute pictures and, not incidentally, dropping this baby weight in the process.