STM Surprises Before, During, and After Birth

VS2016

I am just curious what surprised those of us who have already been through the birthing process.  Maybe it will be interesting for FTMs as well.  For me, I was surprised that I didn't know I was in labor until hours after it started.  I kept googling what it was like to be in labor and everything I looked up I was like nope that's not how it feels. Lol.  I never had Braxton hicks contractions so I kept thinking that is what I was feeling. The biggest shock I had was when I was at the hospital. I had no idea I would push with just a nurse in the room until she felt the baby was getting close and then she would finally call the doctor in.  I had no idea!   

That1didntcount

I didn't know about the whole body shakes I would experience during labor. It was uncontrollable and it scared me until the nurse told me it was normal. 

VS2016

@That1didntcount I forgot about the shakes!  That scared me too!! 

Bluejay3030

That1didntcount said:

I didn't know about the whole body shakes I would experience during labor. It was uncontrollable and it scared me until the nurse told me it was normal. 

I think that happened to me after delivery when I was trying to hold DD.  Thanks for reminding me, I'd forgotten!

slfezz

This may be TMI but.....

I still remember being freaked out and kinda panicked about how everything felt down below during the first post delivery bathroom visit. It was weird enough having the nurse in there with me to explain how to clean up but I literally could not recognize anything by feel since it was all swollen/stretched out on top of all the blood/discharge which was a lot more than I expected. 

gamommyx3

FTM who will be visiting this thread often!! I had no idea about shaking so now I can be prepared.

Jenly17

After the epi wore off, it felt like I was walking for the first time. It was almost like I needed to relearn walking. Such a weird feeling! 

a4smith

One of the things I remember most about my first labor and delivery (I am on #4) was how sore my entire body was from the shakes. I could not relax my body enough, and waited too long to get the epi. My entire body from shoulders to toes was soooo sore for at least a week because my body was so tense and shaking. Now I know how important it is to relax your body as much as possible, and to get the epi when you need it!

camillaandcarson

One word: colace. Bring colace to the hospital (check to see if your hospital or place or birth provides this - some do and some don't), a little bag of prunes wouldn't hurt either way either.  Trust me on this one.  It is worth the effort to pack these items (if they aren't being provided, some provide for you and will also write you a script for after if you need it due to pain meds - which can be cheaper for you than OTC).

VS2016

I don't know if anyone else experienced this but after my epidural wore off and they wanted me to walk around when I stood up the was an enormous gush of blood.  So much it freaked me out and I almost passed out.  The nurses said it was normal.  

obryana6219

I was surprised at how much I bled after delivery. Things like nursing or simply thinking of my daughter caused huge gushes of blood too. 

kbrands7

I didn't expect the amount of other stuff that can come out with amniotic fluid (or just the sheer volume and hours of leaking which seems to be more common if baby is malpositioned). There was vernix and the occasional strand of baby hair in the fluid. Both are normal. 

I also had post partum shakes and sweats that caught me off guard. Because I ended up with a csection, the sheer weakness I felt and the gas pressure in my upper body (from having been opened) was surprising.

I was surprised by how natural it was to hold DS too once I got to-- I thought for sure before he was born that I'd be afraid to break him, or I'd hold him wrong. It was a non issue that I had spent way too much time worrying about. 

I was surprised by the breastfeeding uterine contractions too-- they didn't really hurt though, because bf made me feel very calm and a bit sleepy (thanks, oxytocin!).

hellogoodbye2

I couldnt believe how BIG the placenta really is!

JessicaB0627

VS2016 said:

I don't know if anyone else experienced this but after my epidural wore off and they wanted me to walk around when I stood up the was an enormous gush of blood.  So much it freaked me out and I almost passed out.  The nurses said it was normal.  

I had this too! The bathroom looked like a murder scene after I got up for the first time. It was so frightening. DH and I both thought I was dying, but the nurse was just so calm about it. 

gamommyx3

@kbrands7 baby hair??

kbrands7

Aquinna82 said:

@kbrands7 baby hair??

Yep. It totally freaked me out and the l&d nurse just smiled and explained that anything that baby sheds can end up in the amniotic fluid...and then come out when the waters break.

Kurrant

I thought this thread might be enlightening and help me get prepared for things I wouldn't expect . . . Instead it is really frightening. 

KidShrink

In the same boat as you @Kurrant ... Am having a serious 'what the hell didnI get myself into' moment. But it's all worth it, right? 

VS2016

@Kurrant so sorry!! I was hoping to help people see a few things they may experience that weren't expected. I can see how sometimes ignorance is bliss!!  Lol 

mello13

Things that surprised me include:

1. How FAST labor and delivery went. I have heard so many stories about it taking a full day or more, yadda yadda yadda. I was completely unprepared for the notion that it could all be over in a couple of hours.

2. How calm I was. According to my husband I was "a beast! And made to do this!". I guess you just sort of focus and get it done! It wasn't about me, it was all about the baby and making sure I was doing everything in my power for him. I didn't expect it to be that way. I anticipated at least a little yelling at DH, or begging for a break, or something. But that's not how it played out at all.

3. Feeling things with an epidural. I had heard so many speeches about how you are numb, don't feel the baby, etc. All wrong. At least for me. Once I had the epi, I still felt everything; every contraction, his crowning, the pulling, stretching, his birth, all of it. I just felt it all without the pain. It was amazing.

4. The shakes afterward. I had no idea. And it made me afraid to hold DS.

5. The fact that I'd want to marry my L&D nurse! Seriously though, she was amazing. Funny, calm, even when things were in serious crisis. She explained everything, talked me through what was happening, never made me feel stupid for being concerned or asking about something. That woman was like God!

6. The way my son responded to both me and my husband immediately. He stopped crying as soon as he was laid on my chest. I got emotional, and started talking to him and my husband. Baby stopped crying and lifted his head to look right at me. He KNEW my voice, and was instantly calm. Then my husband spoke, and baby looked to him. He KNEW DH's voice. It was magical. He completely disregarded all nursing staff and doctors; they got no looks or acknowledgment. And he screamed when he was scooped up because he only wanted mama

7. The blood. After being moved up to our room, and finally getting up to pee, there was a lot of blood. But when I went to take a shower the next morning, it was like a crime scene. DH was there, helping me along, and we were both just aghast at it all. Everywhere. Floors, toilet, shower, towels, everything. The nurse popped in to see how we were doing and I asked about it all, and DH was obviously concerned, and she just smiled and reassured up that everything was a-ok, it was totally normal.

8. The PAINFUL ride home. No matter how cushy your car, every single pebble in the road will be felt, despite being heavily medicated. It felt like the longest ride of my life. MUCH worse that going to the hospital with contractions.

arj14

JessicaB0627 said:

VS2016 said:

I don't know if anyone else experienced this but after my epidural wore off and they wanted me to walk around when I stood up the was an enormous gush of blood.  So much it freaked me out and I almost passed out.  The nurses said it was normal.  

I had this too! The bathroom looked like a murder scene after I got up for the first time. It was so frightening. DH and I both thought I was dying, but the nurse was just so calm about it. 

I'd really like to make a There Will Be Blood joke in here... but frankly now I just can't stop imagining that happening to me.

gemini2005

Just reading all of the above responses brings back so many gory (but happy) memories!!!  I remember when they first handed me the baby after I pushed him out, I was completly stunned that he was an actual live baby.  He looked right into my eyes and was so alert right away.  He stopped crying when he heard my voice and latched right on to eat.  
Another shocking moment was when he was a few hours old and it was about 10 pm so the nurse told us to get some sleep. She swaddled DS up and left us alone with him...and then I freaked out.  I felt so inadequate about taking care of him and hardly took my eyes off of him all night even though I was exhausted.  I couldn't get over the fact that he was ours forever- such a huge responsibility it was overwhelming!

lbachran

Feeling a little queasy from all the blood talk. I'm 3 days away from my csection and I think my uterus just clamped shut. I have really horrendous periods (bleeding through 1 ultra tampon every hr for 48 hrs). Am I going to bleed out more than that? 

jthomas2270

I was surprised at how difficult it was to control my bladder in the first few days after birth. Literally couldn't stand up without leaking everywhere. Didn't expect that quite to that extent. I was also so thankful for the lactation consultant and how much she helped. Take advantage of the resources while your in the hospital, it's really helpful if your BF for the first time

tripledaggerWed95976

I have a question,  how much did all you ladies bleed post-partum?  is it sort of just like a heavy period or is it going to be so bad that I should basically be living in black pants for a couple of weeks because I will be constantly leaking straight through my granny pad? 

VS2016

@mello13 #8!!  I felt like a huge baby my stitches hurt so bad!! It didn't help that in my apartment we don't have a bathtub so I only got to soak when I really hurt at my MILs house. 

@tripledaggerWed95976 after all of the scary blood at the hospital, it slowed down quite a bit for me and was just like a heavy period. 

Jenly17

tripledaggerWed95976 said:

I have a question,  how much did all you ladies bleed post-partum?  is it sort of just like a heavy period or is it going to be so bad that I should basically be living in black pants for a couple of weeks because I will be constantly leaking straight through my granny pad? 

The blood right after birth is definitely the most intense as PP's have described. I wore 2 thick pads on top of each other for the first week and a half after delivery. Oddly enough, I was ok with it because it sort of felt like a cushion for my vajay. Now I'm sure it varies from person to person, but I was definitely still bleeding (way less though) a month after giving birth. 

mello13

Regarding the blood, my understanding is that is varies based on delivery (C-section vs vaginal). I had a vaginal delivery. I wore SUPER THICK granny pads for the first week, and changed them several times throughout the day. Nothing was as bad as the first few hours/days in the hospital. I used the thick ones (like, the ones made for bladder problems, not the sleek and typical Always Infinity ones) because 1. They absorb hella blood! 2. It was SO MUCH more comfortable to sit on those. The Infinity and similar sorts felt like sharp cardboard for the first two weeks. And 3. I lined those suckers with Tucks pads, and wanted the extra absorption for that as well.

@tripledaggerWed95976 I was able to wear standard VS pj pants and yoga pants around in fun colors. Though I did make sure to wear black home from the hospital, and sat on a plastic trash bag, just in case.

@lbachran You won't event be able to conceive of a tampon for ages! That being said, I can't compare the flow to that because I've never experienced anything that heavy. If you have an underlying condition (endometriosis, PCOS, etc) that prompts the heavy flow normally, then what you experience might be different. It wouldn't hurt to run it by your OB.

a4smith

For me, the post partum bleeding was the worst the first 3 days or so. It is not at all comparable to a period (and I have PCOS with very heavy periods). It was a steady flow of heavy bleeding coupled with large gushes of blood when I moved just right, baby latched feed, I stood up from bed etc. I definitely always bring only black pants to the hospital- as each time, even with the huge thick pads, I got blood on my pants. After the first few days are over- the bleeding went down to a normal heavy period type.

kbrands7

lbachran said:

Feeling a little queasy from all the blood talk. I'm 3 days away from my csection and I think my uterus just clamped shut. I have really horrendous periods (bleeding through 1 ultra tampon every hr for 48 hrs). Am I going to bleed out more than that? 

With a csection, it should/could be about equal (just no tampons). I have a usual heavy flow like that too and my post partum bleeding after my cs was similar-- just a week of heavy flow and a couple weeks of the days 3-6 medium/lighter flow rather than a few days of each.

Eta: like PP mentioned, be prepared for some gushes with activity, letdown if BF, laying to standing movement-- all of that happens with cs bleeding just like with vaginal delivery bleeding.

lbachran

Thanks @kbrands7 and @mello13. I feel kind of silly for being so worried about this, but pregnancy has literally been the only time in my life when I haven't been anemic. My normal periods (amplified by PCOS and a recurring colony of fibroids) cause so much blood loss that I have to be placed on IV iron very frequently. I have Depends and Poise Pads in my bag already because traditional pads have never been able to hold up without a tampon, so I hope that's enough.

JessicaB0627

a4smith said:

For me, the post partum bleeding was the worst the first 3 days or so. It is not at all comparable to a period (and I have PCOS with very heavy periods). It was a steady flow of heavy bleeding coupled with large gushes of blood when I moved just right, baby latched feed, I stood up from bed etc. I definitely always bring only black pants to the hospital- as each time, even with the huge thick pads, I got blood on my pants. After the first few days are over- the bleeding went down to a normal heavy period type.

Oh I forgot about the gushes. I EP'd and every time I started pumping the first couple weeks it tremendously increased the amount of blood, coupled with seriously awful stomach cramps. Like I think I could fill a whole pad (the thick ones) 20 minutes into pumping. 

doozer1345

No one told me when my water broke it would keep flowing until I gave birth. I thought it would be one big gush like in the movies. No one told me about the shakes after a spinal block. No one told me about the immediate relief from the most uncomfortable pg symptoms once I gave birth. No one told me how powerful the bonding of skin to skin was beforehand either. I'm excited for that last one alone.

KelleAlward

I remember being so surprised at the feeling of space in my abdomen again and bring able to move regularly again. You get so used to having that baby in your belly, then the relief of having them out is surprising. Also, how amazing it is to look at that little miracle that you created. I didn't want to put her down. 

Another surprise was how you actually still look pregnant for a while after you've had the baby. I looked like I was about 20 weeks pregnant for at least a month. I felt kinda awkward about that.

avidkeo

I had a csect and dont even remember the bleeding really. I know i did for about 1.5 weeks but i must have blocked it out lol. What I do remember is laying in the bed, waiting for the spinal to wear off, not being allowed to get up for around 16hrs after, and having a nurse come in TO CHANGE MY PAD! The first time she just pulled back the sheet, pulled out the old pad and shoved a new one in place. Had to be done but i was like woah lol

My mum was right, when you go to hospital you leave your dignity at the door and pick it up on the way out

JessicaB0627

I was also surprised that I couldn't sleep on my stomach again as soon as I got home. I waited months to be able to do that again and then had to wait a few more weeks until the soreness went away. 

I can't wait to sleep on my stomach

Bluejay3030

mello13 said:

Regarding the blood, my understanding is that is varies based on delivery (C-section vs vaginal). I had a vaginal delivery. I wore SUPER THICK granny pads for the first week, and changed them several times throughout the day. Nothing was as bad as the first few hours/days in the hospital. I used the thick ones (like, the ones made for bladder problems, not the sleek and typical Always Infinity ones) because 1. They absorb hella blood! 2. It was SO MUCH more comfortable to sit on those. The Infinity and similar sorts felt like sharp cardboard for the first two weeks. And 3. I lined those suckers with Tucks pads, and wanted the extra absorption for that as well.

@tripledaggerWed95976 I was able to wear standard VS pj pants and yoga pants around in fun colors. Though I did make sure to wear black home from the hospital, and sat on a plastic trash bag, just in case.

@lbachran You won't event be able to conceive of a tampon for ages! That being said, I can't compare the flow to that because I've never experienced anything that heavy. If you have an underlying condition (endometriosis, PCOS, etc) that prompts the heavy flow normally, then what you experience might be different. It wouldn't hurt to run it by your OB.

This was my experience as well.  After about a week I switched over to the heavy flow Infinity pads.  I think I bled for nearly 6 weeks, but it followed the same trend as a normal period where it gradually got to the point where I just needed a small liner.  FWIW, I don't think most people bleed for nearly that long...

gamommyx3

doozer1345 said:

No one told me when my water broke it would keep flowing until I gave birth. I thought it would be one big gush like in the movies. No one told me about the shakes after a spinal block. No one told me about the immediate relief from the most uncomfortable pg symptoms once I gave birth. No one told me how powerful the bonding of skin to skin was beforehand either. I'm excited for that last one alone.

Lol can you please list off the most uncomfortable pg symptoms that were immediately relieved so that I can look forward to that?? :P

That1didntcount

 Aquinna82 said:

doozer1345 said:

No one told me when my water broke it would keep flowing until I gave birth. I thought it would be one big gush like in the movies. No one told me about the shakes after a spinal block. No one told me about the immediate relief from the most uncomfortable pg symptoms once I gave birth. No one told me how powerful the bonding of skin to skin was beforehand either. I'm excited for that last one alone.

Lol can you please list off the most uncomfortable pg symptoms that were immediately relieved so that I can look forward to that?? :P

Heartburn and not being able to bend over are huge. Is not drinking a symptom?

mello13

Aquinna82 said:

doozer1345 said:

No one told me when my water broke it would keep flowing until I gave birth. I thought it would be one big gush like in the movies. No one told me about the shakes after a spinal block. No one told me about the immediate relief from the most uncomfortable pg symptoms once I gave birth. No one told me how powerful the bonding of skin to skin was beforehand either. I'm excited for that last one alone.

Lol can you please list off the most uncomfortable pg symptoms that were immediately relieved so that I can look forward to that?? :P

The most uncomfortable stuff that was immediately relieved for me included the heartburn (thank God!) and the removal of dietary restrictions from the GD, the swelling went away before I even left the hospital (no more sausage feet!!), I could breathe again and didn't feel tiny feet jamming my rib cage while sitting upright, and the fear and anxiety of something happening to baby in utero/before he could be born was obviously gone.

vinerie

So blatant vanity question here..with all the soreness and pp discomfort/bleeding, how reasonable is it to wear one of these pp binders like the Bellefit? I haven't bought one yet as I'm not convinced I'll want to wear it while dealing with everything else. What is the experience of STMs on that?