Lurking from another BMB... I had to come here and ask because I tried in whatever month I belong in and people were sooooo mean! When I go to prenatal yoga seven days a week, I notice that all the other women who don't go as much are huffing and puffing and everything is so easy for me -- and I have never been so toned and flexible. Does this mean something is wrong with my baby? I asked my organic free-range midwife if I should be worried, but she just rolled her eyes so I wasn't sure if I should read anything into that. Please help!
Y'all, I farted today, the first time in months, and it smelled like roses!
I haven't farted at all! Actually, I never fart, Ever! I never unintentionally bombed my H while in the car either, nor my patients at work! Also, I never have back pain, so I never leaned over the counter and had my husband rub my back and farted on him, without even knowing it was happening. Yep, that never happen
Ladies, I read these threads and have to say I don't agree with everything. Like, constipation and hemorrhoids--this is just a problem these ladies bring on themselves by trying too hard. I just go to the bathroom at the same time every morning, have a nice effortless, pain-free movement, and go to work- no extra water, fiber, aids or anything except knowing that constipation is a problem you create in your head.
You should all try it my way to get my results. Just a helpful tip from an expert for you FTMs!
Ladies, I read these threads and have to say I don't agree with everything. Like, constipation and hemorrhoids--this is just a problem these ladies bring on themselves by trying too hard. I just go to the bathroom at the same time every morning, have a nice effortless, pain-free movement, and go to work- no extra water, fiber, aids or anything except knowing that constipation is a problem you create in your head.
You should all try it my way to get my results. Just a helpful tip from an expert for you FTMs!
Mine just....kinda.....comes out with no effort on my part. Sit down and BAM!
Just wanted to post some news! I have managed to sleep train my unborn baby in the womb! It's been amazing. And I have also sleep trained my bladder so I no longer need to wake up at night! Gives me more time to weigh myself and admire how amazing I look!
You guis are so wonderful! Everyone is so wonderful! I just want to AW about my amazing family for a sec. My puppy has started picking up her toys and keeping them in her space and she never looks at the baby's toys and whines to play with them! She's trained herself to need half the walks she used to and I can just tell she knows exactly what's coming and is so excited. DS tells me every day he can't wait to meet his little sibling and he doesn't mind at all that it's a girl even though he desperately wanted a brother. He's knows he was wrong and he'll love her far more (he's very advanced for his age -14mths). DH though, what a hoot! He's been feeling a really strong nesting urge. I try to get him to take it easy, since he cooks every night and makes me breakfast/packs a lunch, but he just loves everything about preparing for our LO! He's excited about parenting classes and cleaning baseboards. What can a girl do?
Me? Oh, I'm just pre-making fantastic menu items for our LO using organic, locally sustained groceries from the farmers market. I've crafted an amazing recipe for an all-natural Oreo McBooby which I'll introduce her too around 2 to 3 months. Don't worry, I'll post the recipe so you can all try it and tell me how amazing it is/ I am. Gah! Love love love my amazing fam, you guis!!
Oreo McBooby - everything your growing newborn needs!!
1/2cup homemade vanilla ice cream! (use the fair trade Madagascar vanilla beans! You don't want to be part of the problem!)
1/2cup homemade Oreos! (fair trade Colombian cocoa/ high grade, it's really important to use the good strong cocoa for this stage of development!!)
1/2 tablespoon breastmilk! (don't use formula you guys! It's filled with toxic chemicals!)
- combine in 'most expensive baby food only mixer every sold' and blend on medium for 2minutes! Serve chilled to your newborn with an Oreo garnish!! Extra points if you have a monogrammed Oreo stamper made for your LO!!!! Love you guis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ETA: this is a joke. For any future idiots googling Oreos and infants---for the love of all that's nutritious, please stop. Put the Oreo down.
@hbmama2b I'm kind of temped to try out that recipe and use heavy cream instead of breast milk hehehe
See, right? ... but after posting, I was lying in my pregnancy induced insomnia terrified some special snowflake was going to actually try out that concoction. I hemmed and hawed about deleting it, Bc you know they aren't going to read the disclaimer.
Re: Is anyone else experiencing this?
No one would ever mistake me for a teenage boy!
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
You should all try it my way to get my results. Just a helpful tip from an expert for you FTMs!
DD born June 2016
Second due August 2020 (team green!)
I have managed to sleep train my unborn baby in the womb! It's been amazing. And I have also sleep trained my bladder so I no longer need to wake up at night! Gives me more time to weigh myself and admire how amazing I look!
Me?
1/2cup homemade vanilla ice cream! (use the fair trade Madagascar vanilla beans! You don't want to be part of the problem!)
1/2cup homemade Oreos! (fair trade Colombian cocoa/ high grade, it's really important to use the good strong cocoa for this stage of development!!)
1/2 tablespoon breastmilk! (don't use formula you guys! It's filled with toxic chemicals!)
- combine in 'most expensive baby food only mixer every sold' and blend on medium for 2minutes! Serve chilled to your newborn with an Oreo garnish!! Extra points if you have a monogrammed Oreo stamper made for your LO!!!! Love you guis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ETA: this is a joke. For any future idiots googling Oreos and infants---for the love of all that's nutritious, please stop. Put the Oreo down.