Post Baby Bodies

doozer1345

I wanted to post an article for ya'll to read bc of things I've seen on here throughout our pg. Now, I know it's easier for me to say bc I'm a STM, however, bc of that fact I don't think I should be completely discredited. I was 10lbs away from my pre-baby body from DD1 when this LO came along. I think women as a whole are too hard on themselves to "get their bodies back." I always hated hearing "it took 9 months to put on and it will take 9 months to take off" regarding baby weight. It's true (if not longer... DD just turned 3 so do the math for me!). I just see ya'll on HDBD as beautiful women who are going through an amazing thing and hate the realization that some will feel inadequate or down on themselves afterwards bc of how pg changes your body. Not to say there weren't days where I thought WTF...However, I refused to allow that to rule how I looked at myself. After all, my daughter is going to look to me to decide how she's going to judge HERself. I don't want that to be negative. Just do what you can when you can and don't let society or what ANYONE has to say dictate how your body is going to look PP. GL ladies!! ((disclaimer: I'm not a fan of Holly Madison really...I just came upon this neat little article she wrote))

https://www.eonline.com/news/753829/holly-madison-baby-blog-3-why-i-m-over-body-after-baby

ayeshaohara

Thank you for sharing this! 

I totally agree with you and the article and that society perpetuates the cycle for sure. I would think it also contributes to a large amount of PPD cases too.

I just want to make a case for those who don't feel societal pressure but simply do it for themselves. Getting my body back has absolutely nothing to do with anyone but myself. It's about my self confidence. Doesn't mean I'm in a race to do it but I'm certainly going to make every effort I can, and quickly to get my body back. I suspect for me it's largely because I know I already have a negative self image which will get much worse if I don't at least make the effort. My pre baby body was fit and healthy. That's all I want. I'm not expecting to be supermodel thin with flat abs because I didn't have that before. I just want to feel like myself again and that's what's important to me. Not losing myself and my own priorities just because i had a child is something I feel strongly about. Having healthy habits and taking pride in my body are things I feel can positively influence my baby. Not to mention there is no way in hell I can continue to carry around this extra 30lbs because it's hard work!! 

kbrands7

I think that the main thing to keep in mind is to not feel like it's a race and to not feel like you necessarily need everything to go back exactly the way it was. For many women, their bodies will naturally lose the weight slowly but surely-- and if you're bf, trying to cut calories to lose weight can sabotage your supply or actually make you hold onto the pounds instead because your body tries to preserve your reserves. I had success with keeping my calories high but healthy, and starting to exercise again as soon as I was cleared to do so. Again, though: it takes time. Ultimately, my body was somewhat changed, but I was happy when I felt strong again after having had surgery-- and I actually became stronger in my upper body than pre-pregnancy.

ayeshaohara

@kbrands7 is there a good resource you would recommend or have read in terms of what suggested calorie intake is for while breastfeeding. I can imagine if I go back to my prepreg eating I may cut too many calories...or is it just about eating healthy but nutritionally dense? Anyone please feel free to also weigh in with resources or general suggestions!! I'm starting to realise there's still a lot I don't know about breastfeeding!!!  

TXmamatobe

Yes!! There is so much pressure to look a certain way after having a baby. I was fortunate to lose weight quickly after DD but that doesn't mean my body was the same. My boobs were different, my hips were wider, my stomach wasn't as tight and probably never will be and it took over a year for my ribs to move back into place. It was HARD to find the time and energy to workout as I was still working and wanted to spend every minute at home with DD. BUT on days where I made myself do even a short workout, I felt so much better and it eventually paid off. 

I love the point @doozer1345 made about how our kids are watching and will form their opinions of themselves based on our opinions of ourselves. It is so true! My mom was always thin and I never heard her talk negatively about herself but I do remember all of her "diets". I always wondered why she was doing these things and grew to think it was normal to constantly cycle on and off of a fad diet. She has since talked to me about those times and I know she didn't even consider that I would notice that at such a young age. Kids pick up on everything!! Just a good reminder to treat ourselves well and be a model for good behavior. 

kbrands7

@ayeshaohara It varies, but generally, you need at least 300-500 extra calories per day. You'll actually be increasing or at least maintaining your water and food intake from pregnancy levels. Basically, producing breastmilk takes approximately 25 calories per oz (give or take 5 cal); babies on average, once their stomach capacity expands will eat at least 24oz each day. DS ate 30. So, even increasing your calorie intake, you'll end up burning more calories than you take in, thus the famed bf weight loss. There's really no need to cut your calories further unless you're aiming to wean. Definitely focus on nutritionally dense foods-- a lot of times, breastfeeding blogs will talk about "calorie bomb" foods like nut butters as being very useful. This website is a wealth of information, and this page gives a quick-reference on the topic: https://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-calories-fluids/ 

JessicaB0627

kbrands7 said:

I think that the main thing to keep in mind is to not feel like it's a race and to not feel like you necessarily need everything to go back exactly the way it was. For many women, their bodies will naturally lose the weight slowly but surely-- and if you're bf, trying to cut calories to lose weight can sabotage your supply or actually make you hold onto the pounds instead because your body tries to preserve your reserves. I had success with keeping my calories high but healthy, and starting to exercise again as soon as I was cleared to do so. Again, though: it takes time. Ultimately, my body was somewhat changed, but I was happy when I felt strong again after having had surgery-- and I actually became stronger in my upper body than pre-pregnancy.

All of this. I also think that so many women say "I want to get my body back", and while some women are successful in doing so, that's not always the case. You're never going to be the person you were before you became a mom again. Getting through pregnancy is a major feat and it will take your body a long time to adjust to not being pregnant anymore, especially if you're breastfeeding. 

Obviously eating healthy is the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby. It's also okay if your priorities shift after your baby is here. What I found most difficult after DD was born was just finding the time to go to the gym. Any time I chose to go meant more time away from her, and when I was back at work that wasn't time I was willing to give up. It took longer to lose the flab, but I didn't mind.

mello13

I agree with all of this! While I lost the numbers on the scale at a pretty steady rate after DS was born, I was not aware that the rest of the changes will just take time, or may be permanent. My rib cage to over a year to get back down to size. My hips are forever wider, even after I lost the extra weight. My boobs will never be as firm or perky as they were pre-pregnancy, and I didn't breastfeed. My hair is different, a bit more coarse and not quite as wavy. 

I think we have this idea that we'll be back in out old wardrobes after baby makes their exit too, and that's just not the case. I wore maternity pants/shorts for at least 3 months after DS (granted, I needed a follow-up surgery, but still). And even after that I had to go out and buy new, LARGER pants and shorts because I was nowhere near my old size yet.

A few highlights though, my shoes finally fit again shortly after birth, and I was able to my wedding rings back on again about a week and a half afterward. Possibly due to the incredible sweating that occurred post-baby!

TXmamatobe

^^^sweating. No one told me that the first time but trust that you WILL sweat buckets, especially while sleeping. I highly recommend a waterproof cover for your mattress if you don't already have one. You can buy really nice ones these days that you can't even tell are on the bed - can't feel them and can't hear them. They will save your mattress, though! 

yogahh

ayeshaohara said:

@kbrands7 is there a good resource you would recommend or have read in terms of what suggested calorie intake is for while breastfeeding. I can imagine if I go back to my prepreg eating I may cut too many calories...or is it just about eating healthy but nutritionally dense? Anyone please feel free to also weigh in with resources or general suggestions!! I'm starting to realise there's still a lot I don't know about breastfeeding!!!  

I am reading Ina May book on breastfeeding now, and she recommends an intake of 2200 calories a day.

yogahh

I will say, I am excited to work out again. I just miss having a hard workout and feeling physically wiped afterwards. While I hope to get back to pre-pregnancy weight, if I don't, I am ok with that... but as long as I feel good and hopefully look good, I need to remember my body will be different.

Its funny, I got married a week ago this Saturday, so my timehop is pulling a lot of pics of that week. We got married in Jamaica, so most of my pics I was in a bikini. At the thinnest and most toned I have ever been. Yesterday one of the pictures took me by surprise. I forgot how thin I was. And I will admit, I got sad that I will most likely never look that way again. But in the end, I will be a mom. And that is more important than sculpted arms and toned bellies, right?

MsIan

My goal is to eat as clean as I can. Increased calories to me, doesn't mean eating sugar and processed foods. Unfortunately, I have my wedding coming up at the beginning of next year, so I can't really let fitness and nutrition take a backseat. I think it is important for me to note that I don't expect my "pre-baby body." I doubt that'll ever happen--I was a cheerleader for 10 years and I know these preggo hips are NOT going away. What I do hope to work towards is a new toned me. I also want my kids to grow up understanding how important nutrition and fitness is. I want them to understand the importance of balance. 

doozer1345

ayeshaohara said:

@kbrands7 is there a good resource you would recommend or have read in terms of what suggested calorie intake is for while breastfeeding. I can imagine if I go back to my prepreg eating I may cut too many calories...or is it just about eating healthy but nutritionally dense? Anyone please feel free to also weigh in with resources or general suggestions!! I'm starting to realise there's still a lot I don't know about breastfeeding!!!  

What I did was made sure to have balanced meals. Sounds simple and silly but I noticed if I kept myself on a somewhat eating schedule my milk flourished better than when I skipped a meal. I made freezer meals with a lot of vegetables, protein, and fiber. Water is invaluable BFing. If I didn't eat well or drink water consistently (which was hard bc I felt like a camel and couldn't get enough) I would have a hard time with my let down. I've got some recipes for food that helps with lactation if you'd like I could send them to you.

ayeshaohara

THANK YOU!!! To all of your responses. All of that info is so very helpful! I just purchased the womanly art of breastfeeding book today that came with another on moms feeding habits through pregnancy and breastfeeding etc so I'm expecting that to be helpful. It's just nice to know what to expect. I'm not a big eater in general and I've found it tough to keep up with my hunger during 3rd trimester and will often make poor choices when I'm so hungry I just have to eat whatever I can. I think planning ahead and having food ready to go is a great idea. I also like the idea of scheduling meals for me. 

I feel blessed to be able to take a long maternity leave (9 months) and have the time to devote to taking care of myself and baby. We also have a home gym so I can include baby in my workouts and not have to leave her in a germy play area with other kids. So that is a definite bonus. 

Again, thank you. I love hearing everyone's experiences. It just reinforces that this process really is so different for everyone and there's no "one way" that's right. Just gotta do what's right for each of us  

JennyS86

I will admit that when my twins were born, I wanted to lose the weight and look fabulous so that people would think - "wow, and she had twins!"  I'm kind of ashamed to share that, but it was true.

Then, I realized that no one looked at me anymore...just the twins!  haha  anyway, I know that it is way more important to respect my body and stay moving - 2 things that my mom modeled for me. I'm so grateful, but honestly, I didn't realize it before I became a mom.  Yes, my body is different, and yes, some of my clothes don't fit like they did. But, I feel so much better about my body, and my self-esteem is better!  Figure that one out!

I've spent a lot of this pregnancy trying not to stress my body out and end up in preterm labor again, so my muscle tone is shot. It will take me at least a year to "get back into shape", but I'm going to be patient with myself, love my body, and indulge every once in a while.  Before this pregnancy, I was reducing my dairy and gluten consumption, and I was feeling SO good!  That will help motivate me to eat a little better!

ETA: breastfeeding is a priority for me, so if I hang on to a few pounds for the next year or two, that's ok by me! 

That1didntcount

As for getting your body back - I try to remember it never left me! It's doing some amazing things right now, amazingly disgusting in some respects, but nonetheless it is still my body. Was before, is right now, and will be after! 

Sure, I'm hoping to lose the weight a litttttle faster this time - who wouldn't? But I know that there are a lot of phases my body has to go through post delivery, and there will be some serious ups and downs just like there have been in pregnancy. Like others have suggested, in between clothes are necessary if you're not fitting in regular clothes. Body confidence comes back, and when it does, it's well deserved!

kbrands7

Another good article, though the title is a little over dramatic:https://www.romper.com/p/i-posted-pics-of-my-postpartum-body-online-the-reactions-were-heartbreaking-4280?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=pro&utm_campaign=fbpro&sr_source=lift_facebook

Kita175

Thanks for sharing @doozer1345