PGAL Check-in 3/28/16

MrsBinPA

I know there are several of us already here who are pregnant again after a loss.   I thought I would start a thread for us to post about our feelings/rant/questions etc.  We can start a new one each week.

My rant today is I really need to stop peeing on all the things.   The tests are now as dark as they can get.   

juliehollz13

I was desperately wanting beta testing but now I feel it brings more anxiety. Every 3 day's I sit and wait to see if i'm "still pregnant"...grrr!!!

MrsBinPA

@juliehollz13 all the waiting and waiting and waiting is the WORST part, right?!  I feel like my life revolves around my next check and obsessing over whatever the next milestone might be.   I hope that once I get passed where I had my losses (both in wk6) I might be able to be a little less anxiety laden.

queenklau

Yes!!! I need to talk to other PGALers, I sometimes get upset at the "blissfully unaware", so glad to have this space where we don't need TW everytime we mentioned our losses.

I also had two mmc at 10 wks. The waiting is the worst, I agree. I am 4w3d now and going for more blood work today. First draw showed good numbers (nurse didn't tell them to me), but Dr. wants to see how things are progressing since it was so early. I am taking it one day at a time, and focus on next milestone as you said.

eta: grammar...

SchruteBucks

I'm so glad for this thread, thank you for posting it!  I've had three losses.  One chemical, one m/c at 5-6 weeks and my last was a 12 week loss back in December.  I am normally very laid back and hands off/natural when it comes to pregnancy and birth but the 12 week loss has me stressing out.  Part of me wants to get betas done, which I've never had done before.  But I also feel it's pointless because if I'm going to lose this baby, betas aren't going to prevent that.  I'm trying to just take it one  day at a time and will pee on all the things to reassure myself for now.  I need to call my midwife and let her know I'm pregnant again.  

LakinL

I like the idea of this thread. I am also peeing every day to see that line. Glad I'm not the only one. DH is starting to think I'm crazy bc I will be like "oh no, I haven't had so and so symptom in hours" etc. Had a MMC at 12 weeks summer of 2015. So I'm very nervous. (And yesss, the waiting is going by so slow as well for me! The absolute worst.) Had blood work Wednesday and go back tomorrow for more. Doctor told me my levels were normal but they were low-normal, so I'm taking progesterone orally twice a day. Plus Heparin injections twice daily in the tummy. DH is trying to comfort me and tells me I don't need to stress, but my anxiety is through the roof. 

LCRbelle

I am also still taking tests! Had spotting Friday night and Saturday afternoon which really stressed me out.  Haven't had any since then but I still can't help but worry since before it's never been good.  Then today when I took my test it was a tiny lighter than yesterday so I've freaked myself out all over again!! Called my doctors office this morning and my doctor is out all week  
So I haven't had a good sequence of events since my first positive test.

MrsBinPA

@LCRbelle I had a test that seemed lighter or about the same last week.  I was stressed about it all day.  I took another one in the PM the same day & it was darker than the FMU one.  I swear it was because of my increased water consumption.  FX for you that all is OK.

FiancB

Hello! I am also obsessively peeing on things. I've been peeing on a wondfo every other day and I bought some ClearBlue weeks estimators. I used one at 14 DPO and got 1-2 (kinda wish it said 2-3 but whatever) and will use the other on the weekend sometime and will hopefully get 3+. 

I am feeling much more optimistic about this than I thought I would, but I realized last night that there is some disconnect where it doesn't feel "real" while it did pretty much right away last time. I'm happy and excited and expecting to get a take home baby, but somehow I have a hard time picturing it being a baby that actually grows in me and comes out in 8 months. 

I scheduled bloodwork (no betas, just the run of the mill varicella titers and stuff like that) for Friday and we'll go from there to decide when I should do the dating ultrasound. I had a MMC and that's when I found out last time, so that's going to be pretty nerve wracking. Hopefully that little heart is easy to find and just pounding away! If the tech has a hard time, I might have a heart attack. This pregnancy is kicking my ass so far compared to the other so hopefully that's a good sign. 

LCRbelle

@MrsBinPA thanks! I sure hope so.  Think I might wait a day and test again.  

MrsBinPA

@FiancB I have been REALLY tempted to go get a Digi with the weeks estimator but have resisted.

ETA (accidentally tapped save) I am feeling more optimistic than I expected too.  There is certainly fear under the surface that I am being foolish.

SchruteBucks

@MrsBinPA I broke down and went and bought a 3 pack of those just an hour ago.  I already took one even though you're supposed to use FMU.  

penelope4612

I'm glad this is here.  I haven't even introduced myself on this board yet because it's still so early and I'm not sure how things will go for me.  I had an ectopic pregnancy in the fall and just had a positive pregnancy test late last week.  I'm guessing I'm about 4w 1d (due 12/4), but my chart was a little off this month so I'm not 100% sure.  My doctor has already drawn betas because of my previous ectopic and they are on target and more than doubled in 48 hours, which I'm hoping is a good sign (my hcg was really low with my last).  I will probably (hopefully?) get an ultrasound by the end of the week, or maybe early next week at the latest, to try to find the pregnancy and make sure it isn't another ectopic.  I've been having all sorts of cramping, and on both sides, so I'm definitely worried.

My fingers are crossed for everyone here.  Good luck!

MamaWino

I finally stopped peeing on sticks yesterday.  It was getting pretty ridiculous... I don't think they could get any darker but I COULDN'T STOP.  I had bloodwork for betas/progesterone today and my numbers are fantastic for 15dpo but I still can't stop checking for blood each time I go to the bathroom.  I would really like to sleep through the few weeks so I can calm down.

itsmehere1212

I'm not sure if this is a daily or weekly thread, but I'm very happy it's here.  I have been feeling a lot of stress and fear so far and, like everyone else it seems, I have been peeing on everything.  I can't help myself, I'm 19 dpo and I have done it twice already today.
I'm with @MamaWino I'd love to sleep through the next weeks.

SchruteBucks

Well, I just ordered 75 more Wondfos, so I don't see my need for constant pee stick reassurance going away any time soon.  I wish I could stop going to the bathroom every hour to check for blood I so badly just want to be excited.  I miss the innocence of pregnancy before a loss.

MrsBinPA

@SchruteBucks I took one last one this AM and when the test showed before the pee was all the way up it I decided enough was enough.  Snapped a photo and tossed them.  I hope I'm not regretting that decision.  I figure my beta etc tomorrow is better data.  I have more Wondfos for any BSC days moving forward.

I am checking for blood too.

LCRbelle

I pee every few minutes checking for blood.  I haven't taken a test in a few days because the lighter one made me so scared and worried so it obviously wasn't helping.  I had blood work done yesterday so just waiting to hear back.  They don't seem very helpful or efficient at my doctor's office.  My doctor told me I needed to come in ASAP when I get a positive, but she's out this week! I've been dealing with receptionists and nurse practitioners.  Took them over a day to even say I could come in for blood work!
They said they didn't need me to come back in a few days for more blood.
If I don't hear today I'll probably take another test tomorrow.  I'm so nervous it will be negative.  My anxiety is through the roof which isn't helping at all!

Does anyone In here have antiphospholipid syndrome?  My doctor recently diagnosed me with this.  She was pretty confident it's what caused my previous losses.

penelope4612

@LCRbelle that is so frustrating.  When I had my ectopic my doctor was out of town and her coverage was great but it felt really chaotic because I never knew who was going to call with lab results or next steps.  I don't have anti phospholipid syndrome but I do have hypothyroidism (I know, totally not the same thing).

I got some good news today - I had an ultrasound and they found a sac in my uterus and nothing in my tube.  I've been having pain in my left side and apparently that is where I ovulated from.  The tec told me that she would not have even known that I had an ectopic because my tube looks normal.  I am so relieved.  It is of course still too early to know if this is a viable pregnancy (they didn't even see the yolk sac so it could still even be a pseudo sac and could still theoretically be ectopic) but I just feel so much better.  The thought of having to get methotrexate again was killing me.  Hopefully now that won't be the case.

queenklau

@penelope4612 OMG I didn't know you joined here!!! So happy to see you here and that things seem to be progressing with no signs of ectopic! (FYI I changed my name from klauerinaking)

penelope4612

@queenklau - hi!  Yes I haven't posted much because I figured I would know pretty early if it was ectopic and didn't really want to join and get super excited and then have to leave a week later.  But now that things are slightly more promising I'll probably start posting more. How are you?

MrsBinPA

So I had my check at the RE today & it didn't go as I had expected.   No gestational sac seen during the ultrasound.   They think it is probably just too early, but I go again on Sunday.  I am anxiously awaiting my betas.  if they have doubled normally but are <1500 I will stop worrying, but if they are >1500 it is going to be a long few days.  Of course if they aren't doubling normally and it's a chemical on it's way out that is always possible too.   My lining was nice and thick though, he said this can sometimes hide things when it is still really small.  I had a feeling I was going to regret getting an US this soon.

SchruteBucks

@MrsBinPA I'll be praying for you and your little one.  Hopefully it was just too early.  Early u/s seem to cause more stress than they're worth!  

penelope4612

@MrsBinPA - my fingers are crossed for you.  How far along are you supposed to be?  The ultrasound tech told me today that they don't usually see anything before 5 weeks.  She was surprised to find a sac on my ultrasound and I'm wondering if my dates are off and I ovulated earlier than I thought.

abrandt31

So glad this thread is here and that other ladies are pee stick crazy like me! I have used a wondfo test every single morning since the first BFP last Thursday. I know its probably silly but I will totally do it again tomorrow. I have had 4 chemicals since May and while I am so excited about this pregnancy and feel like its different I just can't help but be cautious. I have had two good betas so far and go back Monday. Hopefully once I can see something on ultrasound I'll feel less compelled to POAS.

MrsBinPA

@SchruteBucks & @penelope4612  5weeks or 5 week 1 day.  O was confirmed with US and bloodwork so I know I am not far off.  Unfortunately I got a call from the RE office at 1:30 (they normally call after 3) that my HCG was higher than they expected >2000 so now there is cause for even more concern.  They bumped my appointment up to Saturday morning.  I can't function due to nerves now.

SchruteBucks

@MrsBinPA  I'm sorry you're having such a stressful day and not getting the news you were hoping for.  What is the cause for concern with a high HCG?  Molar pregnancy?

queenklau

@MrsBinPA I am sending positive vibes your way! I hope everything turns out perfectly. I'll be checking Sat for an update.

@penelope4612 I am doing well thus far, good beta numbers as of Monday (4w3d) I am now 4w6d and having mild symptoms most of the day with some dull aches in the evening. I can't remember if I had that with my previous two, but nothing serious. Hoping everything is developing normally in there. I have an early u/s schedule next week (Thursday). FX for news all around!

R0824H

Hi ladies, I am so glad this is here, I'm a PGAL FTM so I'm hoping this 4th bfp really sticks! I'm constantly checking for spotting when I go pee and everytime a random cramp comes around I get paranoid. I find my emotions have went from happy to scared to anxious back to happy about a million times today. FX our rainbow babies stick!

MrsBinPA

@SchruteBucks concern is for ectopic.  Typically a gestational sac should be seen with an HCG level >1500.  I don't remember what she said the level was but it was >2000.

R0824H

@MrsBinPA I'm sorry to hear about how your day is going, Hopefully Saturday comes quickly and you get the results you expect and some peace of mind!

penelope4612

@MrsBinPA - Good luck at your appointment on Saturday.  Fingers crossed they find the pregnancy right where it is supposed to be!  Let us know how it goes.

FiancB

Hoping everything's okay @MrsBinPA. The numbers do look scary but I've heard of crazier ones ending up being totally fine. 

LCRbelle

@MrsBinPA I hope everything is fine! 

SaraRose83

Thanks for starting this. I feel like my prior loss is making me crazy with this pregnancy. I'm checking the ingredients on everything, to the point DH thinks I'm crazy, and I feel like the nurse on the end of the line is rolling her eyes at me when I call. But I just have to do everything I can possibly do to be healthy. My sis is nearing giving birth and she was laughing, telling me how she broke some food rules. But she didn't have a prior loss, so she isn't paranoid like I am. My OCD is just on overdrive and then I have to remind myself not to stress on top of it. If I can get to 13 weeks, I know I'll feel way better. I keep testing every couple of days too, to make sure that line is darker. It doesn't help that I can't get in to my practice until 7 weeks either, but at least it's better than my original doc at 10 weeks. Did any of your docs bench you from exercise and sex too, until they see you? I'm pretty sad about it, even though it's obviously worth it.

Sugargirl1019

**lurking this thread

@MrsBinPA Thinking of you today and best wishes on your appt. FX for you all is well.

FiancB

@SaraRose83 that sounds a little extreme to me to bench from sex and exercise, unless maybe you've had multiple losses or have an incompetent cervix or something.

Is anyone on progesterone suppositories? What dosage? I was put on it last night, 200 mg pills 2x a day, which sounds a bit high. I did take one last night though and was worried it would make me feel like shit but so far so good. 

MrsBinPA

Update:   The ultrasound tech was pretty sure she saw a gestational sac initially but was worried about something near my right ovary.

After a torturously long wait for my RE to be done with an IVF procedure he came in & seems to have ruled out ectopic!

My labs look like a normal pregnancy.  I got back again for another check Monday!  Not out yet!!

Sugargirl1019

MrsBinPA said:

Update:   The ultrasound tech was pretty sure she saw a gestational sac initially but was worried about something near my right ovary.

After a torturously long wait for my RE to be done with an IVF procedure he came in & seems to have ruled out ectopic!

My labs look like a normal pregnancy.  I got back again for another check Monday!  Not out yet!!

We'll take whatever relief we can get! I'm so glad you didn't get bad news today!

SchruteBucks

@MrsBinPA Yes!  That's great news!

queenklau

@MrsBinPA yay! I just woke up from my nap and so glad to see your update