@yellowrose314 from your lips to God's ears! Vaccinations are conclusively proven to be safe and effective for almost everyone. On a personal side, I would never want to put my child in a position where they could hurt another person- be it a newborn, or a child or adult with a weakened immune system- just by being close to them.
Also, my FFFC is that as a practicing Christian I decided to make taco's tonight. (We are supposed to abstain from meat on Fridays in the Lent season that leads up to Easter, and this is the biggest deal out of all those Fridays.) I just couldn't think of anything I had the ingredients to make that didn't have meat in it.
I used ground turkey instead of beef, and DH insists it doesn't count because it's poultry. Still...it feels kind of weird
@Prof=Mom Suicides (or attempted suicides) are not typically reported on the news because there a media guidelines governing their reporting. These guideline are implemented in order to prevent copycats. I believe one of the rules is that suicides are not allowed to be the lead story on any news broadcast. Where I live, there is a complete media blackout with regard to suicides. I think this is becoming the norm at most news agencies. I am guessing that the channel you were watching was not more focused on other issues, just being sensitive to others who may be suffering and chose not to supply them with information that may help them with an out.
My FFC may catch some flames. I'm getting a little fed up with the PC of "end mommy wars/ moms need to stick together" on every.single.topic out there. Some, I am all for (bf vs ff is a good example of a zone that should be judgement free). Others, like car seat safety, not so much! There needs to be a dialogue. Turning your 7 month old forward facing with a chest clip down by her crotch is not a parenting choice, it's a safety hazard. Also... If you post on FB "Help! My 11 month old won't drink juice, I have to force her. How do I make her like it?" And then add in the comments that you have never given her water... I will judge you. And I will nicely point out that forcing your baby to drink undiluted juice when she doesn't like it isn't good for anything.
I've obviously been in one too many FB comment wars lately.
All about car seat safety. No grey issues there. Keep your child safe. Learn proper car seat safety. Too much information out there to be uninformed.
My FFC may catch some flames. I'm getting a little fed up with the PC of "end mommy wars/ moms need to stick together" on every.single.topic out there. Some, I am all for (bf vs ff is a good example of a zone that should be judgement free). Others, like car seat safety, not so much! There needs to be a dialogue. Turning your 7 month old forward facing with a chest clip down by her crotch is not a parenting choice, it's a safety hazard. Also... If you post on FB "Help! My 11 month old won't drink juice, I have to force her. How do I make her like it?" And then add in the comments that you have never given her water... I will judge you. And I will nicely point out that forcing your baby to drink undiluted juice when she doesn't like it isn't good for anything.
I've obviously been in one too many FB comment wars lately.
I agree with you on the car seat issue. I cannot STAND when people take offense to corrections about car seat safety. Like, look. I'm just trying to help you keep your kid safe. If I was doing something wrong that could potentially endanger my kid, you bet your ass I would want someone to tell me. I wish more people would research car seat safety, especially extended rear facing.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@yellowrose314 yes on the vaccine thing. I studied vaccine safety in college, and it was is a pretty significant part of my curriculum. There is no evidence linking them to autism whatsoever. I hate when people make up their own science or dismiss well designed scientific studies in favor of some garbage they read on a blog or Pinterest.
My dipsh!t BIL (they are also expecting) tried starting a fight with me on this topic a few weeks ago, going as far as to use the phrase "pumping our children with chemical cocktails" and telling me that I was dumb for believing government propaganda about vaccine safety (he's one of those people). I kindly told my husband that he can let his sister and her husband know that they will not be bringing their son into our house around ours if they don't get him vaccinated. Sorry not sorry.
@yellowrose314 PREACH. There was a girl who worked in our office who was whining because she wanted to switch pediatricians but couldn't find one that would take them because she didn't vaccinate her baby (who was about 6 months at the time). She was ranting and was like "I mean doesn't it scare you, all the things that are in vaccinations?" And I said "No, but Whooping Cough scares the shit out of me." She just stared at me.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@Thscary I will never ever understand the anti-vaccination crowd. No matter how many arguments I hear by those crazies, none of it is ever logical thinking and certainly not backed by research -- it's mind boggling. I would definitely agree with you on not letting BIL bring their son to my house if that were the case, and I'd bet that they'll run into a lot of other parents with that view as well! I hope your DH has your back on that one.
This is why I love the bump so much. Sure there are lots of things that people might not agree on like bf vs ff, circumcision, raising children religious or not, but some thing are not like carseat safety and vaccines. I find that the wonderful ladies of the bump tend to be more science and fact based.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
I love you ladies. I was sure I was going to catch a literal Fiendfyre of flames for that post, not that I would have cared. I've had friendships end because of this issue. Glad you ladies have good heads on your shoulders!
I'm just going to go out on a limb and assume that the "odd thread" that people are talking about is the "Faith Friday" one. (And even if it isn't, I'm going to lay it out there and say that I personally find it odd)
A UO/FFFC thread might be the perfect place to register the idea of a weekly faith thread leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There is nothing wrong with any faith, and I understand that the thread was intended to be non-denominational, but it still feels like a forum about babies is just not the right place for it.
Thanks for being direct @KimmySchmidt! I was looking and couldn't find what everyone was referring to. I didn't see what you are mentioning but I plan on looking again!
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
I guess I'm just unsure of how a thread discussing all faiths and denominations would be beneficial or uplifting for everyone involved. You are likely to have more Christians than any other faith participating so that just seems like an unbalanced, possibly controversial discussion. A person's faith is a highly personal and deeply rooted part of their life/identity so I don't see how two people from two entirely different faiths could then discuss religion, and encourage one another in the context of their beliefs, which could drastically differ from their own. Maybe it wasn't thoroughly explained, but I don't see the point.
@PSUBecky23 yay extended rear facing! People (my husband and mother) are getting pushy about turning my son. He is 19 months old, hold the fuck up. So much nope. Let's compromise safety for convenience! Eff that.
@PSUBecky23 yay extended rear facing! People (my husband and mother) are getting pushy about turning my son. He is 19 months old, hold the fuck up. So much nope. Let's compromise safety for convenience! Eff that.
This, my MIL was asking when we we're turning my 20 month old. I told her hopefully not until he's four. She looked super puzzled. Luckily DH is onboard and is just happy I do all that kind of research so he doesn't need to.
I guess I'm just unsure of how a thread discussing all faiths and denominations would be beneficial or uplifting for everyone involved. You are likely to have more Christians than any other faith participating so that just seems like an unbalanced, possibly controversial discussion. A person's faith is a highly personal and deeply rooted part of their life/identity so I don't see how two people from two entirely different faiths could then discuss religion, and encourage one another in the context of their beliefs, which could drastically differ from their own. Maybe it wasn't thoroughly explained, but I don't see the point.
Yep, especially for an Easter thread mentioning God? Just saying, not all religions have one.
I guess I'm just unsure of how a thread discussing all faiths and denominations would be beneficial or uplifting for everyone involved. You are likely to have more Christians than any other faith participating so that just seems like an unbalanced, possibly controversial discussion. A person's faith is a highly personal and deeply rooted part of their life/identity so I don't see how two people from two entirely different faiths could then discuss religion, and encourage one another in the context of their beliefs, which could drastically differ from their own. Maybe it wasn't thoroughly explained, but I don't see the point.
Yep, especially for an Easter thread mentioning God? Just saying, not all religions have one.
This thread made me so uncomfortable. As a non-Christian, it didn't feel welcoming, inclusive or non-denominational. Thank you ladies for having the courage to say something.
Me: 30 | DH: 32 Together since 2008 | Married 2012 TTC #1 October 2014 BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014 BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014 BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015 BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
I guess I'm just unsure of how a thread discussing all faiths and denominations would be beneficial or uplifting for everyone involved. You are likely to have more Christians than any other faith participating so that just seems like an unbalanced, possibly controversial discussion. A person's faith is a highly personal and deeply rooted part of their life/identity so I don't see how two people from two entirely different faiths could then discuss religion, and encourage one another in the context of their beliefs, which could drastically differ from their own. Maybe it wasn't thoroughly explained, but I don't see the point.
Yep, especially for an Easter thread mentioning God? Just saying, not all religions have one.
This thread made me so uncomfortable. As a non-Christian, it didn't feel welcoming, inclusive or non-denominational. Thank you ladies for having the courage to say something.
Ditto to all of this.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
My UO (this also double as a FFFC) is that I don't like dogs. Flat-out don't like them. We have a dog at work and she's fine, but I don't want her licking me or jumping on me and all that jazz. When friends think their little pooch licking on me is just so cute! I just kind of glare at them. I am just not a dog person. I do not wish harm on dogs, and I enjoy looking at them. But please don't touch me, dog. Go away.
I feel the same way! and for some reason when I walk through town here there are always dogs lose. On multiple occasions I've had dogs jump up on me and the owners didn't think it was a big deal. One was a large dog that came running down the street towards me as the owner casually called out "Don't worry, she's friendly." Uh. Don't care how friendly you think your dog is, I do not want it jumping on me.
Yeah @KimmySchmidt thanks for being the one to break the seal. I wasn't 100% sure that it was the thread being referenced and I'm used to having sentiments like "I like having separation of church and X" met with "THAT IS PERSECUTION OF CHRISTIANS HOW DARE YOU" so I'm kinda conditioned to be leery about saying anything.
I think it's an issue of context. This is a pregnancy/parenting board and sure, religion is an aspect of that -- I'm sure more baptism, weird MIL religious practices, etc. posts are incoming -- and I was OK with the GTKY thread because yeah, it's getting to know each other and it was self-contained within a single thread. A thread that is still active and hasn't fallen behind page 2 so it's not like it's a long-dead non-visited thread. There's plenty of discussion to be had in there if someone wants it.
We don't need a weekly religion thread and this forum isn't the place for it. There are innumerable Christian parenting forums out there and a sub-forum for it on the bump itself if someone really needs to scratch that itch. In the same way I don't go on my gaming forums expecting religious discussion, I don't want or expect it here. It's not be the same popping by my house and trying to hand me pamphlets, but it feels really close to proselytizing.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
It's a day late, but my confession is that I had chocolate ice cream for lunch. I'm now eating the starburst jellybeans that I bought for the kids' Easter egg hunt. It'll be just as much fun looking for empty eggs, right?
I agree so much with everything that others have said about carseats and vaccinations. I know moms who put their 3 and 4 year olds in a booster seat so they don't have to buckle or unbuckle them. I like that my 4 year old can't undo her harness. I do not want to have to worry about her unbuckling while we're driving down the highway. Which is exactly what happens with kids that age who just use a booster. My family thought I was crazy because I've only just now turned my 2.5 year old forward facing. I was so pleased to see a notice on our peditricians wall that said if you don't want to get your child vaccinated, you should find a different doctors office.
@Thurstobertay I agree completely. While my biggest problem is that it just doesn't seem relevant to the board, I'm not sure what "Faith Friday" would even mean based on the post. "Welcome, everyone, here's the story of Easter"? It didn't pose a discussion question or ask for other people's experiences with persecution stories in their faiths. I think that's what gave it the prostelization vibe.
And I also agree that there are places to discuss faith, as in a GTKY thread, or as it relates to babies (baptisms, brises, etc) but I don't personally feel faith should play such a prominent role as to be discussed weekly just for the sake of discussion.
I was so surprised and happy to see someone post about vaccines! I get so mad when someone doesn't vaccinate their children. My neighbor is an ER nurse and she has seen a handful of children die because their parents didn't get them vaccinated and they have whooping cough. It's heartbreaking. I then have another neighbor who said their son is on a "delayed schedule", i roll my eyes.
I live in WI and they just passed a law stating kids must remain rear facing until 2. I don't think it takes effect until this fall but it's such good news!
Neither my husband nor I are religious, but his family is very Catholic. He wanted to baptize our children to appease them, but they don't have to go to church. I said hell no, WTF is the point in that. If we baptize them you are taking them to church so they know why they were baptized. Baptizing them and doing nothing after the fact means nothing. He eventually agreed with me. I find religion fascinating, especially in history; but I don't believe in following an organized religion. I believe in being a good person, respecting others, and do what makes you happy. If my boys and baby want to learn about a religion I will take them to that church, if they want to become baptized when they know what that mean- cool beans.
Hi Ladies, regarding Faith Fridays it is an opportunity to share ideas and encouragement. It just happened to fall on the most important Holiday on the Christian calendar. A day that some may find challenging. Once the question was asked about affiliation it was a way to move the conversation forward for those interested. Hoping that people can share what they believe and not be judged or discouraged. Some may enjoy, some may not but it's a thread that may help someone who is having a bad day or get the support that S16 provides so well. Love often comes from unexpected places. God bless
Hi Ladies, regarding Faith Fridays it is an opportunity to share ideas and encouragement. It just happened to fall on the most important Holiday on the Christian calendar. A day that some may find challenging. Once the question was asked about affiliation it was a way to move the conversation forward for those interested. Hoping that people can share what they believe and not be judged or discouraged. Some may enjoy, some may not but it's a thread that may help someone who is having a bad day or get the support that S16 provides so well. Love often comes from unexpected places. God bless
I'm sorry, I have to respond to this. No matter what you think, stating that it's about all faiths and then continuing your post to only discuss YOUR religion and YOUR holiday is not a way to make it open to everyone. I will fight for your right to your holidays and your beliefs just as I fight for mine, but I don't find this idea to be inclusive, open to all faiths or welcoming at all. You may not realize this but it came off as very preachy and even like you were trying to proselytize which i find extremely offensive.
Me: 30 | DH: 32 Together since 2008 | Married 2012 TTC #1 October 2014 BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014 BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014 BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015 BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
It's several days late but I've been dealing with this for a while now. I'm really annoyed at people who comment on something that isn't necessary. Example: I have been craving scalloped potatoes and deviled eggs for days. I worked 14 hour days yesterday and today. I posted on Facebook stating that I was craving this. I had two people comment with "I've got deviled eggs". Unless you are planning on bringing them to my work, what is the point of sharing that information? You having eggs at home does nothing for my cravings except make me angry that you are taunting me with delicious things. Another example: I work at a theatre. Very often I find myself with free tickets. I post on fb to see if anybody wants them and my friends or family that live out of state promptly comment with "I'll take them". Why? By saying that, it might discourage people from actually taking them since they might not know that my cousin lives in Oklahoma. In many cases, the tickets have gone unused and that makes me angry. Ok, rant over. It's my Friday and I'm going to bed!!!
Hi Ladies, regarding Faith Fridays it is an opportunity to share ideas and encouragement. It just happened to fall on the most important Holiday on the Christian calendar. A day that some may find challenging. Once the question was asked about affiliation it was a way to move the conversation forward for those interested. Hoping that people can share what they believe and not be judged or discouraged. Some may enjoy, some may not but it's a thread that may help someone who is having a bad day or get the support that S16 provides so well. Love often comes from unexpected places. God bless
I'm sorry, I have to respond to this. No matter what you think, stating that it's about all faiths and then continuing your post to only discuss YOUR religion and YOUR holiday is not a way to make it open to everyone. I will fight for your right to your holidays and your beliefs just as I fight for mine, but I don't find this idea to be inclusive, open to all faiths or welcoming at all. You may not realize this but it came off as very preachy and even like you were trying to proselytize which i find extremely offensive.
This, exactly. The Faith Friday post was meant for Christians. Period. Don't act like it wasn't. Perhaps it was meant to be non-denominational, but let's be honest: non-denominational often still means of the Christian faith. How would you feel if I started a thread called "Skepticism Saturday" and discussed all manners of Atheism or Agnosticism but said that it was all-inclusive? It's just a place for us to discuss our lack of belief, we don't mean to exclude anyone.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Hi Ladies, regarding Faith Fridays it is an opportunity to share ideas and encouragement. It just happened to fall on the most important Holiday on the Christian calendar. A day that some may find challenging. Once the question was asked about affiliation it was a way to move the conversation forward for those interested. Hoping that people can share what they believe and not be judged or discouraged. Some may enjoy, some may not but it's a thread that may help someone who is having a bad day or get the support that S16 provides so well. Love often comes from unexpected places. God bless
I'm sorry, I have to respond to this. No matter what you think, stating that it's about all faiths and then continuing your post to only discuss YOUR religion and YOUR holiday is not a way to make it open to everyone. I will fight for your right to your holidays and your beliefs just as I fight for mine, but I don't find this idea to be inclusive, open to all faiths or welcoming at all. You may not realize this but it came off as very preachy and even like you were trying to proselytize which i find extremely offensive.
This, exactly. The Faith Friday post was meant for Christians. Period. Don't act like it wasn't. Perhaps it was meant to be non-denominational, but let's be honest: non-denominational often still means of the Christian faith. How would you feel if I started a thread called "Skepticism Saturday" and discussed all manners of Atheism or Agnosticism but said that it was all-inclusive? It's just a place for us to discuss our lack of belief, we don't mean to exclude anyone.
This. All of this. And saying "this is open to all religions but here's a long anecdote about Christ dying on the cross for us" comes off as preachy and pushy towards other nominations.
Hi Ladies, regarding Faith Fridays it is an opportunity to share ideas and encouragement. It just happened to fall on the most important Holiday on the Christian calendar. A day that some may find challenging. Once the question was asked about affiliation it was a way to move the conversation forward for those interested. Hoping that people can share what they believe and not be judged or discouraged. Some may enjoy, some may not but it's a thread that may help someone who is having a bad day or get the support that S16 provides so well. Love often comes from unexpected places. God bless
I'm sorry, I have to respond to this. No matter what you think, stating that it's about all faiths and then continuing your post to only discuss YOUR religion and YOUR holiday is not a way to make it open to everyone. I will fight for your right to your holidays and your beliefs just as I fight for mine, but I don't find this idea to be inclusive, open to all faiths or welcoming at all. You may not realize this but it came off as very preachy and even like you were trying to proselytize which i find extremely offensive.
This, exactly. The Faith Friday post was meant for Christians. Period. Don't act like it wasn't. Perhaps it was meant to be non-denominational, but let's be honest: non-denominational often still means of the Christian faith. How would you feel if I started a thread called "Skepticism Saturday" and discussed all manners of Atheism or Agnosticism but said that it was all-inclusive? It's just a place for us to discuss our lack of belief, we don't mean to exclude anyone.
This. All of this. And saying "this is open to all religions but here's a long anecdote about Christ dying on the cross for us" comes off as preachy and pushy towards other nominations.
Exactly. The GTYK thread started on religion was the right way to have an open, judgment free, all-inclusive discussion about faith. And that's the only thread that was needed, IMO. It was handled with maturity and respect, where everyone's opinions were heard with open ears and no judgment or exclusion. Faith Fridays as a regular thread belongs on a different board entirely.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
I spent an hour last night reading this whole thread. I wasn't going to chime in, but I can never keep my mouth shut. My opinion on the Faith Friday thread is this... the idea was brought up on the GTKY thread, and no one expressed interest in it. I think that was a sign that it is not appropriate on this board. I identify as Christian, and it felt awkward to me. I can only imagine how it made the non-Christians feel.
Okay, so this really got my eyeball twitching. I'm going to be offensive but hey, it's the UO thread right?
Religion (or non-religion in my case) does not need to be artificially injected into every segment of life. There are "safe" spaces everywhere, even for atheists like me -- there's a Christian sub-forum on thebump.com, roughly 234234 Christian-catered forums all over the internet, and a sub-reddit for every flavor of humanity, including atheists. There are churches, non-denominational gathering places, meetup.com groups, etc. Ultimately you can close your eyes, toss a dart over your shoulder, and hit a place to discuss those kinds of important existential questions. I think it's one of the best things to have arisen from the advent of the internet.
We don't need it everywhere. No one here has expressed interest in a dedicated weekly thread on religion because this is not the time or the place. I haven't volunteered information about my non-belief in any thread other than this or the GTKY thread because it's nobody's business, nobody cares, and nobody inquired prior.
For all the good religion does people around-the-world, it has done plenty of damage and will continue to do so. Throw the same dart I posted above and you'll hit a holy war, some other brand of violence, or on a small-scale level, some kind of personal persecution. I read something just the other day about a couple in their 50s trying to rediscover themselves after leaving a religious cult and it made me incredibly sad to imagine what kind of conditioning those people underwent throughout their lives. I'm in my late 20s now, haven't believed for a solitary day in my life, and I come from a fairly supportive family (I'm lucky for this and I know it), and I still can't fathom a circumstance in which I'd volunteer my atheism to an in-person group because I don't want my kids or myself to pay for it.
You are making a group of people very uncomfortable and you don't seem to care one whit. Seemingly innocuous image posts don't change that; "pray without ceasing?" Don't presume to tell me or anyone else that. It's hollow, and again, it's proselytization that no one here has asked for.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
Okay, well, I'm not very good at explaining myself as eloquently as some of the other ladies on here but here is my piece since I was the one who essentially started the conversation by meaning that I was thrown off by the Faith Fridays discussion...
Nothing against you, @Prof=Mom, if anything I commented and will comment again that you had good intentions and wanted to connect with board members in a different way, but it just doesn't seem like the right place to post something like that. As evidenced by people's reactions on this thread and the lack of reaction on the thread itself. I totally respect people having the right to post what they wish, just a heads up that others might not feel comfortable joining in, accounting for its sparse comments. I understand you meant it to be inclusive which is great, but unfortunately it didn't come across that way I'm trying to think of a different way you can connect with board members on that subject but I've got nothing. Maybe someone will have good ideas because I don't want you to feel left out or that we are against you. It's just that we aren't too fond of that discussion and I, for one, wasn't planning on ever participating in it, regardless of my beliefs.
Yes, yes and yes to the above posters RE: Faith Fridays... I'm a Christian, and I have to agree that your thread did not come off as inclusive of all religions whatsoever. Nice little welcoming message but then you immediately launch into "So kicking off Faith Fridays on what is arguably the most challenging Friday in the Faith I personally believe in..." and you had a little afterthought of oh this is actually for everyone, but let me go talk about one of the biggest Christian religious holidays in our faith. Christianity being arguably the largest and most followed religion in the world, you kind of sandbagged it for anyone else. Lets say I'm a practicing Hindu. After reading the focused discussion on Christianity, I'm probably going to assume "oh this is a Christian thread" (despite the "disclaimer") and probably not going to bring up my recent celebrations during Holi (which is arguably the coolest Hindu festival ever, just sayin). Maybe your intentions were to have it be an open discussion, but as others have pointed out, the majority felt they had a place to discuss various religious beliefs (not only Christianity) in the GTKY thread. There was hardly any interest when the concept of the Faith Friday's thread was brought up, but you did it anyway and now you're surprised that people find it redundant and actually rude to be honest. Assuming that it would be of interest just because there are Christians on S16 was presumptive IMO.
I don't have an issue with someone starting a Christian faith thread, if there are enough Christians on this board who want to be involved in it. In the same way someone could start a Jewish or Buddhist or whatever thread. IF there were enough people showing interest. In this case, as PPs have stated, there wasn't an interest. I would look at it in the same way I look at the MOMs thread, PGAL thread, med free birth, breastfeeding, or plus size mom thread. I may not personally have an interest or reason to participate, but if enough of the S16ers wanted one for support, then it's fine to have one. Not that I'm comparing religious faith to any of those specific threads.
I just believe in calling things what they are, and not circling around it. If you start a thread discussing Christian beliefs/holidays, then you are starting a Christian-based discussion. Let's not disguise it as inclusive to all faiths when it isn't.
Agreed with most of what's posted above. And I do remember seeing that a Faith Fridays post worked on the poster's last BMB, but where there was no interest stated on this board, it just doesn't seem like a good fit. For me - there are plenty of threads I don't open because they aren't to my interest, and Faith Fridays would be one of those posts. I don't mind it existing but the first post was Christian and nothing else and didn't feel open to post other ideas.
To be fair, no one of another faith tried to participate in the discussion. You can't really say it wasn't inclusive when no one else tried to be included. I can see how the thread may be off putting or a bit intimidating to a non-christian and maybe that's why no one with differing beliefs participated, but I don't think it's fair to say it wasn't inclusive of other beliefs when no other beliefs were put out for discussion. I thought the religious affiliation thread was such a nice and respectful discussion, I imagine that if it took, the faith friday would have been too. I don't think @prof=mom meant to alienate other people by starting the thread. If anything, that kind of thread just isn't going to work here and it will die off and be forgotten, but I don't fault her for trying to start a conversation outside of the norm.
@Thscary- I think you're spot on when you say that it was off putting and that's why no other thoughts were brought up. I mean.. I don't have other beliefs, my belief is that I don't believe. I wasn't going to hop in after her and say "oh that man that was crucified and has risen.. I don't believe he existed. Happy Friday!" I think the "GTKY what religion do you affiliate with" was the post to welcome people and allow for thoughts on how they feel, but a post asking for people to share their faith when a good portion of the board answered that they are agnostic/atheist is just not a place for all of those people to go on and week after week say "Hi, I still don't believe in religion."
I have to agree as another Christian who felt uncomfortable about the Faith Fridays thread that I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be for those who subscribe to another faith or no religion at all.
To be fair, I'm one of those Christians who's very open and accepting of all religions (or lack thereof). Your beliefs are your beliefs and I'm not going to force mine on you, I think there's truth and beauty in whatever path you choose to take, even though that gets me flak on a fairly regular basis. What matters to me is that you live your life as a good person who loves and supports the people around you, especially those in most need of your love and support.
I suppose you could call me a Universalist Unitarian with Christian beliefs if you really had to pin me down, but I consider myself a non-denominational Christian. I've been an atheist, an agnostic, a Presbyterian, an aspiring Catholic and a Wiccan before settling where I have.
Of course, in principle, it's a great idea to have a place for open and safe discussion of all forms of faith and the beauty in all the world's religions. But, in reality, it's so easy for it to become a breeding ground for contention, misunderstanding and people feeling left out, pressured or hated on because their beliefs may not fit with someone else's.
I think that if you're going to attempt to have a "safe" place to discuss religion, that it can't be led off with or biased towards the beliefs of one religion. And that's what I feel happened with that thread. I have nothing against the poster who created the thread. I think her heart is in the right place (in that she wants to share her religious beliefs, which are obviously important to her), but I also think that the lack of response has proven that the thread is something that's making people feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, due to it's current tone or perhaps the very fact that it's on a forum that's not religiously based.
Again, I get a lot of flak for this, but I'm also one of those people who believes that religion doesn't need to be (and shouldn't be) injected into every situation and place. I understand that one of the governing principles of the Christian faith is to spread the word of God, but when spreading the word means stepping on the toes of those who aren't interested or who have already found their own truth (which I argue is every bit as valuable and meaningful as my truth), it becomes something uncomfortable and unpleasant. It closes hearts instead of opening them. If someone comes seeking spiritual information, that's one thing, but proselytizing is another thing entirely, even if it is something that's considered desirable (or even a requirement) for people of certain faiths.
I'm prepared to be flamed for what I've said. I'm prepared to have my fellow Christians tell me that I'm not a true Christian or that my beliefs are "wrong." It's happened before (even by my own husband, who is also a non-denominational Christian, but of the more traditional sort). All I know is that for me, this is my truth, and I, personally, feel very uncomfortable with forcing my religious beliefs on someone else, even if I'm doing it with good intentions, or having any religion (including my own) forced on me.
Re: UO + FFFC
I used ground turkey instead of beef, and DH insists it doesn't count because it's poultry. Still...it feels kind of weird
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
My dipsh!t BIL (they are also expecting) tried starting a fight with me on this topic a few weeks ago, going as far as to use the phrase "pumping our children with chemical cocktails" and telling me that I was dumb for believing government propaganda about vaccine safety (he's one of those people). I kindly told my husband that he can let his sister and her husband know that they will not be bringing their son into our house around ours if they don't get him vaccinated. Sorry not sorry.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
A UO/FFFC thread might be the perfect place to register the idea of a weekly faith thread leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There is nothing wrong with any faith, and I understand that the thread was intended to be non-denominational, but it still feels like a forum about babies is just not the right place for it.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
Yep, especially for an Easter thread mentioning God? Just saying, not all religions have one.
Me: 30 | DH: 32
Together since 2008 | Married 2012
TTC #1 October 2014
BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014
BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014
BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015
BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
I think it's an issue of context. This is a pregnancy/parenting board and sure, religion is an aspect of that -- I'm sure more baptism, weird MIL religious practices, etc. posts are incoming -- and I was OK with the GTKY thread because yeah, it's getting to know each other and it was self-contained within a single thread. A thread that is still active and hasn't fallen behind page 2 so it's not like it's a long-dead non-visited thread. There's plenty of discussion to be had in there if someone wants it.
We don't need a weekly religion thread and this forum isn't the place for it. There are innumerable Christian parenting forums out there and a sub-forum for it on the bump itself if someone really needs to scratch that itch. In the same way I don't go on my gaming forums expecting religious discussion, I don't want or expect it here. It's not be the same popping by my house and trying to hand me pamphlets, but it feels really close to proselytizing.
Awkward Family Fun
I agree so much with everything that others have said about carseats and vaccinations. I know moms who put their 3 and 4 year olds in a booster seat so they don't have to buckle or unbuckle them. I like that my 4 year old can't undo her harness. I do not want to have to worry about her unbuckling while we're driving down the highway. Which is exactly what happens with kids that age who just use a booster. My family thought I was crazy because I've only just now turned my 2.5 year old forward facing.
I was so pleased to see a notice on our peditricians wall that said if you don't want to get your child vaccinated, you should find a different doctors office.
And I also agree that there are places to discuss faith, as in a GTKY thread, or as it relates to babies (baptisms, brises, etc) but I don't personally feel faith should play such a prominent role as to be discussed weekly just for the sake of discussion.
I live in WI and they just passed a law stating kids must remain rear facing until 2. I don't think it takes effect until this fall but it's such good news!
Neither my husband nor I are religious, but his family is very Catholic. He wanted to baptize our children to appease them, but they don't have to go to church. I said hell no, WTF is the point in that. If we baptize them you are taking them to church so they know why they were baptized. Baptizing them and doing nothing after the fact means nothing. He eventually agreed with me. I find religion fascinating, especially in history; but I don't believe in following an organized religion. I believe in being a good person, respecting others, and do what makes you happy. If my boys and baby want to learn about a religion I will take them to that church, if they want to become baptized when they know what that mean- cool beans.
Me: 30 | DH: 32
Together since 2008 | Married 2012
TTC #1 October 2014
BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014
BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014
BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015
BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
Another example: I work at a theatre. Very often I find myself with free tickets. I post on fb to see if anybody wants them and my friends or family that live out of state promptly comment with "I'll take them". Why? By saying that, it might discourage people from actually taking them since they might not know that my cousin lives in Oklahoma. In many cases, the tickets have gone unused and that makes me angry.
Ok, rant over. It's my Friday and I'm going to bed!!!
eta because I clicked post too soon
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Religion (or non-religion in my case) does not need to be artificially injected into every segment of life. There are "safe" spaces everywhere, even for atheists like me -- there's a Christian sub-forum on thebump.com, roughly 234234 Christian-catered forums all over the internet, and a sub-reddit for every flavor of humanity, including atheists. There are churches, non-denominational gathering places, meetup.com groups, etc. Ultimately you can close your eyes, toss a dart over your shoulder, and hit a place to discuss those kinds of important existential questions. I think it's one of the best things to have arisen from the advent of the internet.
We don't need it everywhere. No one here has expressed interest in a dedicated weekly thread on religion because this is not the time or the place. I haven't volunteered information about my non-belief in any thread other than this or the GTKY thread because it's nobody's business, nobody cares, and nobody inquired prior.
For all the good religion does people around-the-world, it has done plenty of damage and will continue to do so. Throw the same dart I posted above and you'll hit a holy war, some other brand of violence, or on a small-scale level, some kind of personal persecution. I read something just the other day about a couple in their 50s trying to rediscover themselves after leaving a religious cult and it made me incredibly sad to imagine what kind of conditioning those people underwent throughout their lives. I'm in my late 20s now, haven't believed for a solitary day in my life, and I come from a fairly supportive family (I'm lucky for this and I know it), and I still can't fathom a circumstance in which I'd volunteer my atheism to an in-person group because I don't want my kids or myself to pay for it.
You are making a group of people very uncomfortable and you don't seem to care one whit. Seemingly innocuous image posts don't change that; "pray without ceasing?" Don't presume to tell me or anyone else that. It's hollow, and again, it's proselytization that no one here has asked for.
Awkward Family Fun
Nothing against you, @Prof=Mom, if anything I commented and will comment again that you had good intentions and wanted to connect with board members in a different way, but it just doesn't seem like the right place to post something like that. As evidenced by people's reactions on this thread and the lack of reaction on the thread itself. I totally respect people having the right to post what they wish, just a heads up that others might not feel comfortable joining in, accounting for its sparse comments. I understand you meant it to be inclusive which is great, but unfortunately it didn't come across that way
ETA since not so
Christianity being arguably the largest and most followed religion in the world, you kind of sandbagged it for anyone else. Lets say I'm a practicing Hindu. After reading the focused discussion on Christianity, I'm probably going to assume "oh this is a Christian thread" (despite the "disclaimer") and probably not going to bring up my recent celebrations during Holi (which is arguably the coolest Hindu festival ever, just sayin).
Maybe your intentions were to have it be an open discussion, but as others have pointed out, the majority felt they had a place to discuss various religious beliefs (not only Christianity) in the GTKY thread. There was hardly any interest when the concept of the Faith Friday's thread was brought up, but you did it anyway and now you're surprised that people find it redundant and actually rude to be honest. Assuming that it would be of interest just because there are Christians on S16 was presumptive IMO.
I just believe in calling things what they are, and not circling around it. If you start a thread discussing Christian beliefs/holidays, then you are starting a Christian-based discussion. Let's not disguise it as inclusive to all faiths when it isn't.
To be fair, I'm one of those Christians who's very open and accepting of all religions (or lack thereof). Your beliefs are your beliefs and I'm not going to force mine on you, I think there's truth and beauty in whatever path you choose to take, even though that gets me flak on a fairly regular basis. What matters to me is that you live your life as a good person who loves and supports the people around you, especially those in most need of your love and support.
I suppose you could call me a Universalist Unitarian with Christian beliefs if you really had to pin me down, but I consider myself a non-denominational Christian. I've been an atheist, an agnostic, a Presbyterian, an aspiring Catholic and a Wiccan before settling where I have.
Of course, in principle, it's a great idea to have a place for open and safe discussion of all forms of faith and the beauty in all the world's religions. But, in reality, it's so easy for it to become a breeding ground for contention, misunderstanding and people feeling left out, pressured or hated on because their beliefs may not fit with someone else's.
I think that if you're going to attempt to have a "safe" place to discuss religion, that it can't be led off with or biased towards the beliefs of one religion. And that's what I feel happened with that thread. I have nothing against the poster who created the thread. I think her heart is in the right place (in that she wants to share her religious beliefs, which are obviously important to her), but I also think that the lack of response has proven that the thread is something that's making people feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, due to it's current tone or perhaps the very fact that it's on a forum that's not religiously based.
Again, I get a lot of flak for this, but I'm also one of those people who believes that religion doesn't need to be (and shouldn't be) injected into every situation and place. I understand that one of the governing principles of the Christian faith is to spread the word of God, but when spreading the word means stepping on the toes of those who aren't interested or who have already found their own truth (which I argue is every bit as valuable and meaningful as my truth), it becomes something uncomfortable and unpleasant. It closes hearts instead of opening them. If someone comes seeking spiritual information, that's one thing, but proselytizing is another thing entirely, even if it is something that's considered desirable (or even a requirement) for people of certain faiths.
I'm prepared to be flamed for what I've said. I'm prepared to have my fellow Christians tell me that I'm not a true Christian or that my beliefs are "wrong." It's happened before (even by my own husband, who is also a non-denominational Christian, but of the more traditional sort). All I know is that for me, this is my truth, and I, personally, feel very uncomfortable with forcing my religious beliefs on someone else, even if I'm doing it with good intentions, or having any religion (including my own) forced on me.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C :'(
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks :'(
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d :'(