We think we have one... But haven't told anyone and won't until she is born. We still call her baby, and if we see her and the name doesn't fit, well, she'll just be nameless because we haven't agreed on anything else
This is me as well for DS. Although, we call him by the name we're considering if no one else is around.
We're set too. Like @kidshrink, we talked names on the last road trip we took before getting pregnant again. Afree that, we had the boy name completely decided and a girl name decided with two middle name options.
Don't fret though, you still have time and everyone comes to a decision differently.
I'm liking this idea of talking about names on a road trip! We're driving to my ILs for Easter weekend, that's 3.5 hours one way where he can't run away or pretend there's something more pressing to do or say he's in an important Final Fantasy battle.
You are not alone! We are team Green. We've had a boy name picked for quite some time now...for some reason it was painless and easy to agree on. Now a girls name...impossible! We can't seem to agree on anything...and there hasn't been a name that we both LOVE like we found with the boy name. It's tough. We also both think it's a boy which I think is making us not care so much about not having a girls name lol. If it is a girl, she might be nameless for a few hours!!
I had picked a future daughter's name out before I even knew my husband, thankfully he liked it too! We picked out a boy's name early on, but were starting to throw around other ideas when we found out we were having a girl.
I really need some help with our name. DH is a third, and he goes by a nickname for three. His dad goes by a nickname he got as a kid that's completely unrelated to the name. DH's grandfather actually went by his first name. The name is Gerald M_ _ _ _ _ L, and our last name rhymes with Mason. I'd rather not put the (completely made up) middle name on here because internet, but just trust me when I say it's bad, and definitely not an option for a name we could call LO.
DH always joked around about having a "Quad" one day, but I never thought he was serious. Well, once we found out we are having a boy, I discovered he is very serious about it.
I do not want to name my kid Gerald M. Mason IV. The only acceptable nickname we have come across for a fourth is Drew, which apparently is short for quadruple. And let's be honest, that's totally side-eye worthy. Also (well, before we started this whole name argument), DH and I both agreed that we don't want to do a nickname, especially one that seems completely unrelated to his name. DH has dealt with that his whole life.
I did the thing where I printed off two copies of 2014's top 1000 names, and we both went through and marked ones we liked, and then compared our lists. DH marked two names, Gerald and Drew. He said no other name sounds right except having a fourth. I am at my wit's end. I understand he wants to honor his grandfather, but I just can't name my kid Gerald. My compromise is to have the middle name as Gerald, and we pick a first name, but nope, he won't agree to that.
Has anyone dealt with this? Advice?
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
bshurdy This is hard... you can tell him what's the point of naming him Gerald if you're just going to call him something different.
Do you like the name Drew? Could you name him Drew Gerald... Do you have any male family members names on your side that you like. It shouldn't be just about his family, so you could advocate for at least one of the names to be after someone in your family.
At the end of the day you have to give birth so you should get some say
@bshurdy that would annoy the heck out of me . . . I don't think the name choice should ever be 100% made by either party. I get that it can be difficult when two people can't agree but there should be some veto rule! DH and I went through a lot of veto action before we came to a name we agreed on. I had to give up on a lot of names I always loved and thought would end up being my daughters name but IMHO I would hate for MH to be stuck with a daughters name that he truly didn't like.
I really need some help with our name. DH is a third, and he goes by a nickname for three. His dad goes by a nickname he got as a kid that's completely unrelated to the name. DH's grandfather actually went by his first name. The name is Gerald M_ _ _ _ _ L, and our last name rhymes with Mason. I'd rather not put the (completely made up) middle name on here because internet, but just trust me when I say it's bad, and definitely not an option for a name we could call LO.
DH always joked around about having a "Quad" one day, but I never thought he was serious. Well, once we found out we are having a boy, I discovered he is very serious about it.
I do not want to name my kid Gerald M. Mason IV. The only acceptable nickname we have come across for a fourth is Drew, which apparently is short for quadruple. And let's be honest, that's totally side-eye worthy. Also (well, before we started this whole name argument), DH and I both agreed that we don't want to do a nickname, especially one that seems completely unrelated to his name. DH has dealt with that his whole life.
I did the thing where I printed off two copies of 2014's top 1000 names, and we both went through and marked ones we liked, and then compared our lists. DH marked two names, Gerald and Drew. He said no other name sounds right except having a fourth. I am at my wit's end. I understand he wants to honor his grandfather, but I just can't name my kid Gerald. My compromise is to have the middle name as Gerald, and we pick a first name, but nope, he won't agree to that.
Has anyone dealt with this? Advice?
I'm in the same position. Sort of: I don't hate DH's first name as much as you hate Gerald, and we have some flexibility with the middle name. DH is Firstname J. Lastname III and DS will be Firstname J. Lastname IV, but all the J's are different. But--DH vetoed all the J names I like.
So we're going to go with something that I don't particularly like but will grow to love, I'm sure: Joseph or James, both of which have a good number of tolerable nicknames, and we'll probably call him "Baby" for the first year or so anyway:)
But we're planning on having more kids, and DH is letting me have nearly free rein with our first girl, if we're so lucky (I want to name my first girl after my dearly-missed grandmother, and DH hates the name). So there's a compromise in the future that I can look forward to.
Honestly, your son won't be "the fourth" unless he has exactly the same name, so I don't think your husband will budge, not without a lot of resentment. Gerald isn't so bad: He can be Gerry/Jerry, Ger/Jer, Jem (especially good since the middle name is "m"!), or something. Or Drew:) No explanation needed--I'm a teacher and a fair number of my students go by names that are *completely* unrelated to their legal names.
Also, nicknames do seem to come out of nowhere and stick out of nowhere, so you have no idea what you might be calling him in a few years!
@bshurdyMy advice is far from mature but I would be very upset if I was in your shoes and not being allowed to participate in the naming of my child. Honestly, I would hold my ground if I were you. It is unfair of your H to be so closed off to compromise. I would offer him a list of your top 2-4 names and ask him to consider them so that you can at least go to the hospital with two options (Gerald the fourth and one from your list), and then decide after he is born. And then I would seriously not budge and play a bit of name chicken at the hospital, holding up the birth certificate until the last possible second. Someone will have to give in eventually but it doesn't have to be you!
@bshurdyMy advice is far from mature but I would be very upset if I was in your shoes and not being allowed to participate in the naming of my child. Honestly, I would hold my ground if I were you. It is unfair of your H to be so closed off to compromise. I would offer him a list of your top 2-4 names and ask him to consider them so that you can at least go to the hospital with two options (Gerald the fourth and one from your list), and then decide after he is born. And then I would seriously not budge and play a bit of name chicken at the hospital, holding up the birth certificate until the last possible second. Someone will have to give in eventually but it doesn't have to be you!
Seriously - I'm lucky that my husband and I were both able to agree that if either of us strongly opposed a name, we chucked it instantly. Having either one of us dislike our child's name would be terrible, and it's really unfair of your husband to say that he will only consider two names in the entire world.
I would also push hard on the idea that if you just name your baby the fourth, your side is completely lost. I'm assuming the baby will have your husband's last name, so how is it fair that the first and middle are also 100% from him as well? I would want some of myself represented there as well - if not in the literal form of a name from my side of the family, at least by my own name contribution or at the very least by my blessing of the chosen name.
@bshurdyMy advice is far from mature but I would be very upset if I was in your shoes and not being allowed to participate in the naming of my child. Honestly, I would hold my ground if I were you. It is unfair of your H to be so closed off to compromise. I would offer him a list of your top 2-4 names and ask him to consider them so that you can at least go to the hospital with two options (Gerald the fourth and one from your list), and then decide after he is born. And then I would seriously not budge and play a bit of name chicken at the hospital, holding up the birth certificate until the last possible second. Someone will have to give in eventually but it doesn't have to be you!
Yup all of this^^. 1000%. How would he feel if you just decided the name without considering his thoughts or feelings on the name? I'm guessing he'd be upset so why is it okay for him to do that to you?? PS you're the mom and one who actually fills in the birth certificate paperwork.
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
@bshurdy Another nickname idea: Q! Unless y'all are Trekkies...
Another consideration/consolation: as another poster said a long time ago, when making parenting decisions, you need to make compromises, but you also have to draw the line and ask: "Is this the hill I'm willing to die on?" You and DH should answer this, and whoever feels more strongly should get a few "hills" in the future. You can even make cards to count them and make sure it's not a get out of jail free card.
Because there will be other decisions you'll need to compromise on, about which you are going to feel just as strongly.
We have had names picked out for years because I'm crazy! Every time my husband and I would go on a road trip, I'd make him brainstorm baby names with me because the poor guy couldn't go anywhere and was stuck in the car with me! Once we found out we were pregnant we knew right away for either a girl or boy!!
Now all I'm waiting for is my T-minus 1 week breakdown where I freak out and change the name at the last minute HAHA... I should probably have a back up!!
We have had names picked out for years because I'm crazy! Every time my husband and I would go on a road trip, I'd make him brainstorm baby names with me because the poor guy couldn't go anywhere and was stuck in the car with me! Once we found out we were pregnant we knew right away for either a girl or boy!!
Now all I'm waiting for is my T-minus 1 week breakdown where I freak out and change the name at the last minute HAHA... I should probably have a back up!!
I seriously wanted to punch MH yesterday because we were just hanging out and out of nowhere he goes "What about Melissa? That's a pretty name..." I just looked at him incredulously like "Are you seriously thinking about changing our daughter's name right now?!" We had decided on Luna ages ago and absolutely love it and now he is thinking about other names?! I almost felt this weird feeling of betrayal. Yes, Melissa is a very pretty name, but no, it is not our daughter's name.
But now that I think about it...NO! SEE?! Why would he plant the seed of doubt in a crazy pregnant woman's brain?! I am having that breakdown/freak out right now. Not cool. The only way I could calm myself down was to make a deal with myself that if she comes out with jet-black hair and dark brown eyes, we would name her Melissa, but anything else is Luna. Totally random and irrational, I know, but it helped me get to sleep last night so I am going with it!
@bshurdyMy advice is far from mature but I would be very upset if I was in your shoes and not being allowed to participate in the naming of my child. Honestly, I would hold my ground if I were you. It is unfair of your H to be so closed off to compromise. I would offer him a list of your top 2-4 names and ask him to consider them so that you can at least go to the hospital with two options (Gerald the fourth and one from your list), and then decide after he is born. And then I would seriously not budge and play a bit of name chicken at the hospital, holding up the birth certificate until the last possible second. Someone will have to give in eventually but it doesn't have to be you!
Seriously - I'm lucky that my husband and I were both able to agree that if either of us strongly opposed a name, we chucked it instantly. Having either one of us dislike our child's name would be terrible, and it's really unfair of your husband to say that he will only consider two names in the entire world.
I would also push hard on the idea that if you just name your baby the fourth, your side is completely lost. I'm assuming the baby will have your husband's last name, so how is it fair that the first and middle are also 100% from him as well? I would want some of myself represented there as well - if not in the literal form of a name from my side of the family, at least by my own name contribution or at the very least by my blessing of the chosen name.
@Pascal86 This is exactly how I feel. I had a girl name picked out that I felt strongly about, but there's no way I would have used it if DH hated it.
Thanks for the advice, ladies! I don't feel like this name will ever "grow on me," so I hope we can come to a resolution soon.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Me and my husband have picked out our names before we knew the gender. It was always important to us to incorporate our heritage and family in the names but we always wanted something unique. We are of German heritage so we chose Mika pronounced Me-ka for a girl and henrik for a boy. The middle name for a the girl was Elizabeth which was my mother in-laws middle name and she passed away 9 years ago and we wanted to honour her and for a boy is John as John is used in boys middle names for both our families. We found once we knew what about a name was important for us it was a little easier finding one. We know they aren't names for everyone but they means alot to us.
I have had my first son's name picked out for years it has had some tweeks but its now settled. My son's name is my fathers name who passed away when i was 8. I did make one addition with a second middle name which is the middle name my maternal grandfather had.
I've been a teacher for a decade, so naming my son was a real pain because every name was either too trendy or reminded me of some weasely student I'd had at some point. But this one is a girl, and it was very easy- she'll be Virginia, after my grandma who was a wonderful woman and passed away last year. She went by the nickname Viv, which I also like. Now for a middle name...
We have had names picked out for years because I'm crazy! Every time my husband and I would go on a road trip, I'd make him brainstorm baby names with me because the poor guy couldn't go anywhere and was stuck in the car with me! Once we found out we were pregnant we knew right away for either a girl or boy!!
Now all I'm waiting for is my T-minus 1 week breakdown where I freak out and change the name at the last minute HAHA... I should probably have a back up!!
I seriously wanted to punch MH yesterday because we were just hanging out and out of nowhere he goes "What about Melissa? That's a pretty name..." I just looked at him incredulously like "Are you seriously thinking about changing our daughter's name right now?!" We had decided on Luna ages ago and absolutely love it and now he is thinking about other names?! I almost felt this weird feeling of betrayal. Yes, Melissa is a very pretty name, but no, it is not our daughter's name.
But now that I think about it...NO! SEE?! Why would he plant the seed of doubt in a crazy pregnant woman's brain?! I am having that breakdown/freak out right now. Not cool. The only way I could calm myself down was to make a deal with myself that if she comes out with jet-black hair and dark brown eyes, we would name her Melissa, but anything else is Luna. Totally random and irrational, I know, but it helped me get to sleep last night so I am going with it!
Ahhh go for it. I hear Melissa's are really cool, smart and pretty
@bshurdy do you like any of these? Do you think dh would compromise on a similar name to Gerald? Not sure any of these are any better though to be truthful? And if it comes down to it, play the "I just gave birth to your son" card before signing the birth certificate. Maybe you can guilt him into bending?
Our LO was going to be named Jeffry Mark after my Dad who died 6 years ago, and my FIL who died 3 years ago, but we decided to move both names to the middle name and go with Roland as the first name. My DH is a huge fan of the Dark Tower Series by Stephen King (and now that I've started reading them, I agree!) and Roland is the main character. This was also recently announced and we're so excited!
We picked Minna for our LO. I actually thought about it in the first trimester without telling him and then he brought it up over brunch about a month ago.
So in Russian it would be Минна. I just hope when she's born she looks like a Minna or maybe we should spell it Meena. Hm...something else to think about.
One of my students has decided she is going to bring me a list of names on Monday. Already she is advocating for Rose Mary (two names), but assured me she will have quite the selection to choose from. I don't have the heart to tell her that we have already chosen the name, but may keep that list as a sweet memento. I really do love my students!
We picked Minna for our LO. I actually thought about it in the first trimester without telling him and then he brought it up over brunch about a month ago.
So in Russian it would be Минна. I just hope when she's born she looks like a Minna or maybe we should spell it Meena. Hm...something else to think about.
Lovely! Minna is Japanese for "everyone."
We're both Catholic folks and we owe so much to our Lord, so we chose a biblical name. Our LO is to be named after the prophet Isaiah and his middle name will be my husband's nickname, "Roy."
We decided on Alexandra Joy and Elise Royal for our twin girls while we were in the hospital yesterday. Nothing like a delivery scare to make DH broach the subject!
Last time around we didn't have a name until 48 hours after birth. This time we already have a name, before even going to the hospital. I am so relieved.
Our list is still at 17 names. I really want Baby to have a more formal name, but we call her by a nickname. It's just my preference. DH hates the formal names I like though, but would okay with just the nicknames (i.e. Eleanor is a no, but Nora is a yes.) The battle also continues on how I'd like to use one of my grandmothers's names, but both of their names are similar to two of his aunts' (both of whom he gets along with and likes) so he is in opposition and is only even slightly considering out of deference to me.
Honestly I had a name picked out at 10 weeks either way. Still haven't changed my mind her name stuck. But I'm overly prepared. That's just me. My parents didn't have a name untill I was born ! Lol
We have had the name semi-decided since way before he agreed to have another baby lol. Both of our mother's share the same name so we are using it as a middle name even though I'm not in love with it. Our other two kids have family names as middle names so we had to keep the trend! Since we haven't revealed the name we call the baby Cocco (the kids came up with it and I think it might stick!).
DH and I are down to 2 names! His pick is Sophia nn Sophie, my pick is Zoë. Part of me feels like I should just give in to him for the first name since I picked the middle (Rose, family name), but I just feel blasé about Sophia.
DH and I are down to 2 names! His pick is Sophia nn Sophie, my pick is Zoë. Part of me feels like I should just give in to him for the first name since I picked the middle (Rose, family name), but I just feel blasé about Sophia.
Sophia and Zoe are both very pretty!! I love the name Zoe I think Sophia is very popular, so maybe you could talk him out of it by convincing him she'd grow up as one of like 4 Sophia's in every class. IDK if that'd be true but you could say it anyway LOL BUT him thinking of the name could also help him have that daddy daughter connection, so really you're going to win no matter what with either!
I'm due in 6 days and we still don't have a name. Here's my list....let me know your thoughts or suggestions. Keep in mind we have a two year girl named Kennedy.
Honestly, we had the first name of either sex picked before we even conceived. That was mostly due to our last pregnancy resulting in a loss, and thinking of names helped us stay positive we would conceive again. When we found out we were expecting, we picked out the middle names. Our baby will have 2 middle names. One will be to hold a cultural tradition from MH's side. Her name truly will fit her as we view this baby as a gracious gift, which is exactly what her name means.
Re: Does everyone else already have a name?
Don't fret though, you still have time and everyone comes to a decision differently.
I'm liking this idea of talking about names on a road trip! We're driving to my ILs for Easter weekend, that's 3.5 hours one way where he can't run away or pretend there's something more pressing to do or say he's in an important Final Fantasy battle.
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
DH always joked around about having a "Quad" one day, but I never thought he was serious. Well, once we found out we are having a boy, I discovered he is very serious about it.
I do not want to name my kid Gerald M. Mason IV. The only acceptable nickname we have come across for a fourth is Drew, which apparently is short for quadruple. And let's be honest, that's totally side-eye worthy. Also (well, before we started this whole name argument), DH and I both agreed that we don't want to do a nickname, especially one that seems completely unrelated to his name. DH has dealt with that his whole life.
I did the thing where I printed off two copies of 2014's top 1000 names, and we both went through and marked ones we liked, and then compared our lists. DH marked two names, Gerald and Drew. He said no other name sounds right except having a fourth. I am at my wit's end. I understand he wants to honor his grandfather, but I just can't name my kid Gerald. My compromise is to have the middle name as Gerald, and we pick a first name, but nope, he won't agree to that.
Has anyone dealt with this? Advice?
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Do you like the name Drew? Could you name him Drew Gerald...
Do you have any male family members names on your side that you like. It shouldn't be just about his family, so you could advocate for at least one of the names to be after someone in your family.
At the end of the day you have to give birth so you should get some say
So we're going to go with something that I don't particularly like but will grow to love, I'm sure: Joseph or James, both of which have a good number of tolerable nicknames, and we'll probably call him "Baby" for the first year or so anyway:)
But we're planning on having more kids, and DH is letting me have nearly free rein with our first girl, if we're so lucky (I want to name my first girl after my dearly-missed grandmother, and DH hates the name). So there's a compromise in the future that I can look forward to.
Honestly, your son won't be "the fourth" unless he has exactly the same name, so I don't think your husband will budge, not without a lot of resentment. Gerald isn't so bad: He can be Gerry/Jerry, Ger/Jer, Jem (especially good since the middle name is "m"!), or something. Or Drew:) No explanation needed--I'm a teacher and a fair number of my students go by names that are *completely* unrelated to their legal names.
Also, nicknames do seem to come out of nowhere and stick out of nowhere, so you have no idea what you might be calling him in a few years!
I would also push hard on the idea that if you just name your baby the fourth, your side is completely lost. I'm assuming the baby will have your husband's last name, so how is it fair that the first and middle are also 100% from him as well? I would want some of myself represented there as well - if not in the literal form of a name from my side of the family, at least by my own name contribution or at the very least by my blessing of the chosen name.
PS you're the mom and one who actually fills in the birth certificate paperwork.
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed
IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN
IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15
Beta #1-344
Beta #2-809
Beta #3 8,390
1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d
Another nickname idea: Q! Unless y'all are Trekkies...
Another consideration/consolation: as another poster said a long time ago, when making parenting decisions, you need to make compromises, but you also have to draw the line and ask: "Is this the hill I'm willing to die on?" You and DH should answer this, and whoever feels more strongly should get a few "hills" in the future. You can even make cards to count them and make sure it's not a get out of jail free card.
Because there will be other decisions you'll need to compromise on, about which you are going to feel just as strongly.
Now all I'm waiting for is my T-minus 1 week breakdown where I freak out and change the name at the last minute HAHA... I should probably have a back up!!
But now that I think about it...NO! SEE?! Why would he plant the seed of doubt in a crazy pregnant woman's brain?! I am having that breakdown/freak out right now. Not cool. The only way I could calm myself down was to make a deal with myself that if she comes out with jet-black hair and dark brown eyes, we would name her Melissa, but anything else is Luna. Totally random and irrational, I know, but it helped me get to sleep last night so I am going with it!
Thanks for the advice, ladies! I don't feel like this name will ever "grow on me," so I hope we can come to a resolution soon.
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
No lie, DH was seriously considering Lucah (which I love too) but only on the condition that we used Skywalker as the middle name lmao
I actually thought about it in the first trimester without telling him and then he brought it up over brunch about a month ago.
So in Russian it would be Минна.
I just hope when she's born she looks like a Minna or maybe we should spell it Meena. Hm...something else to think about.
We're both Catholic folks and we owe so much to our Lord, so we chose a biblical name. Our LO is to be named after the prophet Isaiah and his middle name will be my husband's nickname, "Roy."
This time we already have a name, before even going to the hospital. I am so relieved.
Since we haven't revealed the name we call the baby Cocco (the kids came up with it and I think it might stick!).