I would love some advice - our dear, dear friends suffered a miscarriage of twins back in late December. It was an early loss and we had been one of the few people they had told. We were so excited because we were thinking since our babies would be relatively close in age they would go to the same daycare and we had made plans for the future. We were, of course, heartbroken for them when they lost the twins, but between my sciatic nerve pain making me basically house bound at the end of my pregnancy, and the baby being born/craziness of the newborn stage, we actually haven't seen them since their loss. They're coming over this weekend to meet the baby and for us to catch up and I am not sure how to navigate the subject. Do I bring it up? Do I wait for them to bring it up related to "how are you guys doing" or something general like that that gives them the option to talk about it or not? The way they left things in our last email on the subject was them saying that they're trying to shift their focus to the good in their lives and that it's still hard for them to talk about. With respect to that, my instinct is to *not* bring it up, but I know from other people I've known who have suffered miscarriages, they have felt like their loss was ignored or that they were hurt that people didn't acknowledge it. And also, that's how they felt right after it happened. It's been about three months and I don't know, I just feel unsure about how to proceed. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
And one more thing - I think it's too late for a card, is that right? We communicated immediately over the phone, with email and text, and I definitely expressed my sympathies, but not in a formal card. Again, it's been a while, I don't want to dredge up anything painful, but I do want to show them my love and for them to know I've been thinking about them and their loss.