I'm afraid of another loss. I feel like I'll be holding my breath this whole pregnancy. I also worry about splitting my time between 2. DD has been any only child for 4 years and she's used to my undivided attention.
Childbirth has never scared me. Although I'm sure I'll be an emotional wreck this time after giving birth to a stillborn.
I think the anticipation of labor is scarier than the actual event, although I did have a fairly easy labor, and that's not always the case. After the pains and discomfort of pregnancy, labor was very welcome even though it was painful...I knew it'd be short lived, and my baby was going to be here soon!
Right now I'm most terrified that ms will last the entire pregnancy. I feel like I'm always bitching about it on here, but it's really all I can think about right now. Also a little worried about if/how another baby will affect my relationship with dd. I don't want her to feel like she's taking a backseat to baby. She's my everything, I just love her so much and I hope she always knows that!
I know this sounds silly but I'm most afraid of not being able to afford this baby. I make decent money and hubby is working too (even if it pay sucks) and we'll have to make some sacrifices but I'm scared it won't be enough.
Just remember you don't really need all the stuff you see at the store or that they put on those "registry checklists". Babies really do not need much to be content! Diapers, a few outfits, and a carseat are the bare necessities.
I am most afraid of not keeping these babies in for long enough. My first went to 41 weeks, but my dr is kind of scaring me about twins coming too early! Also really scared about how I'm actually going to fuction and get out of my house with 3 babies.
I'm most scared of child birth!! It freaks me out so bad, no history of family complications though so I guess that's a good start! Anyone else afraid of giving birth? Or if you have before, what helped you cope the most of made you most comfortable?
Hey! It's so so normal to be scared of giving birth! I've done it twice now and the absolute best thing you can do is learn as much as you can about the process. Even when you're in the middle of it, a little rational part of your mind will be there to be like, "Oh, hey, now I'm in transition. Okay. I can do this." Learn what's normal (and there's a wide range!) and how childbirth usually goes. My grandmother is actually the person who suggested I do this - she read the definitive book "Natural Childbirth" by Dr. Grantly Dick-Reed in the 1950s when she was having her children and said that the detailed knowledge really helped her. And we have so much more available to us now! (Movies, books, etc.) I know a lot of women like reading birth stories, and Ina May Gaskin's books are full of birth stories. I don't mean to sound like a natural birth pusher - I had an epidural with my second - but the process is the same whether or not you go with pain management.
Another good thing to look into is hiring a doula. And for me, I am usually so tired of being pregnant by the end that I'm delighted to go into labor. And don't forget we have like seven more months to get used to the idea!
I am afraid of that first night home from the hospital. It was god awful with my daughter. I'm hoping that since we've already gone through it, it will be easier this time.
@dam0ne4 You are not kidding, that first night was THE WORST. I thought we were going to die or go insane. Mine was certainly easier the second time around, but secondbaby is a better sleeper in general so I'm not sure if it was her or me.
Definitely a mmc, that's a huge fear of mine. But also definitely actually giving birth. One of my best friends just left work an hour ago because she's pretty sure her water broke and I'm the one with my stomach in knots!
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married 2010 TTC since Nov. 2015 BFP#1: 2/8/16 MC: 3/19/16 BFP#2: 9/3/16 EDD: 5/17/17
The 3rd tri. Last time I was so big and between sciatica and SPD I couldn't move some days. I have a toddler, laying in bed after a hard day isn't an option this go around.
Also the VBAC attempt. Not because I'm afraid of the birth, but I'm afraid of not having the support.
The 3rd tri. Last time I was so big and between sciatica and SPD I couldn't move some days. I have a toddler, laying in bed after a hard day isn't an option this go around.
Also the VBAC attempt. Not because I'm afraid of the birth, but I'm afraid of not having the support.
And how am I going to handle two kids?
Surprised it's taken this long to get brought up but 3rd tri really scares me too. I've never been through 3rd tri before and have no idea how I'm going to cope with a carting around a gigantic belly, not being able to sleep on my stomach, and all of the other myriad of discomforts that I'm sure it will bring. I'm overweight to begin with so I know that's only going to make late pregnancy harder, and it makes me scared of developing gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, or other complications later on.
I'm still more scared of not making it to the 3rd tri, though. We've not had an ultrasound yet and are still pretty early so we are very much out of the woods of an MMC or non-M MC. I keep trying to tell myself that so far all signs point to a healthy baby, but there's still so much that could go wrong between now and October or even now and April.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
I'm with everyone else who is terrified of a MC. That's my biggest fear at the moment (probably because it's the one that is the first trimester and I have a history of mc)
I also don't have much love for the 3rd trimester. I had SPD and walking was so painful with my last pregnancy.
I am scared of a missed mc. I don't get any doppler or ultrasounds until 4-5 months, so it doesn't even feel real right now. I keep not wanting to tell anyone about the pregnancy because I am scared I am not even pregnant even though I know I am. I am also scared about how we can afford a baby. With all my student debt and me just started a new job and it does not pay all that much and then I will be on mat leave for a year and get only half my wage. My husband makes okay money, so I guess we will be fine. It will be hard and we will need to do some serious budgeting, but it just makes me scared.
Yeah, complaining on a board with a bunch of Americans on it that you "only' get half your pay and a year of maternity leave at your brand new job is not going to get you a lot of sympathy.
That's a really shitty thing to say. People only get to be worried about money if they're american and have crappy maternity leave?
Sure, I get that a year at half wages would be amazing and awesome for 99% of the women on this board, but that doesn't mean that OP's concerns about affording a baby are any less valid.
Your response is like me saying, "OMG, infant daycare in Boston costs $24-$30k a year, so anyone worried about affording $12k a year should shut up!" That response would be ridiculous, and lacking in empathy-much like yours was.
That's a really shitty thing to say. People only get to be worried about money if they're american and have crappy maternity leave?
Sure, I get that a year at half wages would be amazing and awesome for 99% of the women on this board, but that doesn't mean that OP's concerns about affording a baby are any less valid.
Your response is like me saying, "OMG, infant daycare in Boston costs $24-$30k a year, so anyone worried about affording $12k a year should shut up!" That response would be ridiculous, and lacking in empathy-much like yours was.
I don't think @simcal18meant to imply her concerns weren't valid. Everyone's financial situation is different and if she's concerned about her's, I'm sure there's a valid reason.
However... I eye-rolled when I read her post because I would kill for those benefits. I will likely get 2 months UNPAID maternity leave. So yeah, complaining about having an entire year off with half pay seems like, for lack of a better term, first world probs.
I am a mom with anxiety so I of course have all the fears mentioned (ugh!) but my biggest fear is something will be wrong with this baby. Heart condition, autism, rare disease.. All the bad things run through my head. My first born is pretty perfect so I am so scared I'm tempting fate and I won't be so lucky.
After struggling with infertility, I'm just thrilled to be here at all. I definitely worried about miscarriage, but now that we heard the heartbeat yesterday and I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow my anxiety is starting to let up. I still can't really believe this is real!
Also, I don't see a problem with @littlewillie2016's comment. It didn't sound like she was complaining about her 1 year maternity leave at half pay. To me, she was just expressing being nervous about money like a lot of us are, and was just explaining her situation. While it may be better off than some of us in some aspects, we don't know everything and who are we to judge her financial situation.
Loving them as much as I love DD. How can I love them as much/more than my firstborn?
Absolutely. I love my son more than anything. I worry that I won't care as much about this one, especially if it's another boy. Makes me feel like a terrible mom. I also worry about caring for a toddler and a newborn. I stay home with my son and I'll probably stay home with the second, too and I'm not sure I can handle it on my own. We don't have any family nearby and we don't have a lot of close friends in this city, so it'll be all me. Not sure I'm up for it.
I am scared of a missed mc. I don't get any doppler or ultrasounds until 4-5 months, so it doesn't even feel real right now. I keep not wanting to tell anyone about the pregnancy because I am scared I am not even pregnant even though I know I am. I am also scared about how we can afford a baby. With all my student debt and me just started a new job and it does not pay all that much and then I will be on mat leave for a year and get only half my wage. My husband makes okay money, so I guess we will be fine. It will be hard and we will need to do some serious budgeting, but it just makes me scared.
Yeah, complaining on a board with a bunch of Americans on it that you "only' get half your pay and a year of maternity leave at your brand new job is not going to get you a lot of sympathy.
That's a really shitty thing to say. People only get to be worried about money if they're american and have crappy maternity leave?
Sure, I get that a year at half wages would be amazing and awesome for 99% of the women on this board, but that doesn't mean that OP's concerns about affording a baby are any less valid.
Your response is like me saying, "OMG, infant daycare in Boston costs $24-$30k a year, so anyone worried about affording $12k a year should shut up!" That response would be ridiculous, and lacking in empathy-much like yours was.
I'm not implying that her concerns weren't valid. I think all of us are likely concerned about fitting a baby into our financial planning no matter what our situations are, myself included. It's a big adjustment. I made the comment because she seemed completely unaware of how fortunate she was to have the benefits that she has, which are likely well beyond anything that's available to the vast majority of women on this board.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
I am scared of a missed mc. I don't get any doppler or ultrasounds until 4-5 months, so it doesn't even feel real right now. I keep not wanting to tell anyone about the pregnancy because I am scared I am not even pregnant even though I know I am. I am also scared about how we can afford a baby. With all my student debt and me just started a new job and it does not pay all that much and then I will be on mat leave for a year and get only half my wage. My husband makes okay money, so I guess we will be fine. It will be hard and we will need to do some serious budgeting, but it just makes me scared.
Yeah, complaining on a board with a bunch of Americans on it that you "only' get half your pay and a year of maternity leave at your brand new job is not going to get you a lot of sympathy.
That's a really shitty thing to say. People only get to be worried about money if they're american and have crappy maternity leave?
Sure, I get that a year at half wages would be amazing and awesome for 99% of the women on this board, but that doesn't mean that OP's concerns about affording a baby are any less valid.
Your response is like me saying, "OMG, infant daycare in Boston costs $24-$30k a year, so anyone worried about affording $12k a year should shut up!" That response would be ridiculous, and lacking in empathy-much like yours was.
I'm not implying that her concerns weren't valid. I think all of us are likely concerned about fitting a baby into our financial planning no matter what our situations are, myself included. It's a big adjustment. I made the comment because she seemed completely unaware of how fortunate she was to have the benefits that she has, which are likely well beyond anything that's available to the vast majority of women on this board.
Nothing in her post makes her seem completely unaware of anything. She is stating her situation. No need to make her feel bad about the benefits she likely PAID into through taxes.
Loving them as much as I love DD. How can I love them as much/more than my firstborn?
Absolutely. I love my son more than anything. I worry that I won't care as much about this one, especially if it's another boy. Makes me feel like a terrible mom. I also worry about caring for a toddler and a newborn. I stay home with my son and I'll probably stay home with the second, too and I'm not sure I can handle it on my own. We don't have any family nearby and we don't have a lot of close friends in this city, so it'll be all me. Not sure I'm up for it.
I was terrified of this with my second as well, but I'm happy to announce that I absolutely adore my LO, no less and no more than my first. That love is just there
Before I got pregnant I was mostly scared about labour, but now I am KU I've been more worried than is probably reasonable about MC. I just honestly didn't realise how common it is until now that I'm reading up on everything. Now labour doesn't seem as daunting, as long as we have a happy healthy baby at the end:) It does help to read the women on here who've been through labour and say it's manageable.
I'm in Canada and am lucky enough to get maternity leave, but the financial side still worries me too. I totally understand it would be way harder not to have paid mat leave, but I think we can all be justifiably concerned about earning less and having all the same bills and another person to pay for.
@simcal18 nothing in that post made it seem she was completely unaware of anything at all. I read it and thought, another woman having the same concerns as the rest of us. This is why some people are afraid to even join in conversations on the Bump, being attacked.
I'm most afraid of baby coming out a stillbirth or a missed m/c or baby having health problems.
I'm not looking forward to the newborn stage again and I also worry about regretting/resenting having to start over again as another mom mentioned. Our first will be 4.5 and we have a lot more freedom in our life now and I am worried about the back tracking and all the limitations that come with having a baby.
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I think I'm most worried about the financial aspect as well. We will be fine on the "stuff", but the weekly cost of daycare is what has me scared. I know we will be fine, but it's a lot of money! Labor, also, just because I've never done it before.
I'm not worried about labour- mine was pretty sweet last time so fingers crossed all goes well this time (though with my first I only actively laboured for 2.5 hours so hopefully this one stays put long enough to get to the birth centre...).
I am worried about a MMC, but of course there is nothing to be done about that but try to move on and hope for the best.
I'm most worried about MH not stepping up more when we have two kids. We both work outside the home full time but I am BY FAR the primary parent and do the majority of emotional labour around here. It works for us most of the time (MH travels a lot). However, I know that I will need more help when there are two kids, especially as BFing is totally exhausting and if it's anything like DS I'll have a baby attached to my boob for a good six months, limiting my ability to do all the regular stuff (DS started sleeping through at about 15 months. That was a loooooong time to go without a full night's sleep). I really, really hope my husband will be able to step up and do more of the things that keep a family running when I need him to.
I am most scared of not giving my soon to be 3 year old the attention that she needs when baby is born. Also worried that baby will be a really hard baby. My DD was so easy I loved the newborn stage and my birth experience was great. I am really hoping that this one will be the exact same.
I am expecting twins and I am afraid of how I am going to take care of two kids. Financially, emotionally, time-wise. I have never even had one kid, so it seems pretty challenging to imagine taking care of two. I am also afraid of breastfeeding twins and what that will mean for my sleep and general sanity.
Oh and yeah... I'm terrified of having a miscarriage at any moment, despite having had a good ultrasound last week.
I'm scared I'll end up losing this one too. This is our last time trying but I have a good feeling we're going to be okay but it still worries me. Money and making it work with 3 kids doesn't really phase me. I know we can do it.
I'm most scared of congenital defects, especially fatal ones that would lead to termination. I really don't want to talk about my non-viable pregnancy after I announce it to everyone. I'm considering not announcing it at all for that reason and just telling more and more people I actually care about.
Oh my gosh! What am I scared of? Well let's get started, Lol. I know it's rare to get again, but I'm terrified of getting PUPPS again. I was covered in hives for several weeks with my son! I was absolutely miserable. I'm scared of having more complications, since I am heavier this time (i.e. GD, preeclampsia etc). I am not terrified of delivery, but I'm terrified my VBAC will be unsuccessful. I'm also worried how I will react if I am unsuccessful. I'm not sure I can handle the disappointment! I'm also worried about money as well! Our insurance is even worse this time, and I'm horrified thinking about how much our hospital bill will be this time!
In February of 2014, we lost our daugter Claire at 21 weeks gestation due to chorioamnionitis. I've been told that because I am high-risk, I will get better care this time. Cerclage and progesterone shots. It took over a year for me to regroup after losing her. I just wanted to fall apart, but, I have a nearly seven year old son to take care of and be here for. This will be my rainbow baby. I'm stuck in between ecstatic and scared beyond belief. I'm hoping and praying for a miracle.
Other than trying on a daily basis to take my mind off my fears of mc/mmc or stillbirth, I'm pretty scared of not finding a good childcare arrangement for when I have to go back to work after I recover. Or, to make myself really crazy, I'm scared of never again feeling slightly at ease in anticipation of the next thing to fear!
Misposting some where and having someone passively aggressively sending me a link with their "kind regards". Oh and then having everyone complain about it on one of the m-fr bitch threads.
I'm worried about how extreme my symptoms are. I've had tough pregnancies but this one takes the cake. I have never been dizzy every time I attempt to do anything. Makes me worry something is going on with my bp. Trying to tough it out till my apt on thursday but I might just call my Dr again on Monday.
Underneath this facade of calm and acceptance that this is finally happening I'm trying not to lose my sh*t. This is my first pregnancy/child. We've had such an independent life until now, but this is what we want. So here's my list of what's freaking me out. -childbirth/labor/delivery -recovering from childbirth so that I can do my job again (it's very physically demanding) -that this m/s will last the WHOLE pregnancy -the possibility of birth defects leading to a non-viable pregnancy -m/c -telling my crazy family that can't get along -not being able to breastfeed -being left alone at some point with a newborn to care for -that my marriage will change negatively -PPD I should probably just stop because if I'm not freaking myself out more right now, I'm sure it's giving someone else heart palpitations. Sometimes I just wonder, what am I getting myself into?
I'm afraid of another nicu stay. I actually don't find the thought of labor frightening. My first I didn't labor, as we were both very sick. A c-section terrified me at that point, and the thought of induction. But this time around I just want to have a normal, healthy newborn. i get being worried about labor, but people have done it forever. If you want a good read for feeling empowered about your birth, look into Ina May Gaskin's books. There are tons of stories that will make you feel confident about birthing your baby!
Last time, I was really lucky. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy, a good birth, and a healthy, easy baby. I'm scared that things will be different this time (although, knock on wood, this pregnancy isn't bad so far). As fears go, that's a nice one to be able to have.
But I'm most scared of how we're going to manage with 2 kids. My husband might not have any income in the fall. I've got a couple of regular freelance gigs -- meaning that if I can't work because I'm in labor, I don't make any money, and if I can't get my work done while I'm taking care of kids, I don't make any money -- and a potential short-term teaching job that depends on whether they're OK with me missing a couple weeks of class to have a baby. I also have done very little creative work since my son was born and worry that adding another kid is like signing an affidavit swearing to never write another word of fiction.
Re: What are you most scared of?
I'm afraid of another loss. I feel like I'll be holding my breath this whole pregnancy. I also worry about splitting my time between 2. DD has been any only child for 4 years and she's used to my undivided attention.
Childbirth has never scared me. Although I'm sure I'll be an emotional wreck this time after giving birth to a stillborn.
Right now I'm most terrified that ms will last the entire pregnancy. I feel like I'm always bitching about it on here, but it's really all I can think about right now.
Another good thing to look into is hiring a doula. And for me, I am usually so tired of being pregnant by the end that I'm delighted to go into labor. And don't forget we have like seven more months to get used to the idea!
Married 2010
TTC since Nov. 2015
BFP#1: 2/8/16
MC: 3/19/16
BFP#2: 9/3/16 EDD: 5/17/17
mommy to the cutest rescue mutt ever.
my chart
Also the VBAC attempt. Not because I'm afraid of the birth, but I'm afraid of not having the support.
And how am I going to handle two kids?
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
I'm still more scared of not making it to the 3rd tri, though. We've not had an ultrasound yet and are still pretty early so we are very much out of the woods of an MMC or non-M MC. I keep trying to tell myself that so far all signs point to a healthy baby, but there's still so much that could go wrong between now and October or even now and April.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
I also don't have much love for the 3rd trimester. I had SPD and walking was so painful with my last pregnancy.
Sure, I get that a year at half wages would be amazing and awesome for 99% of the women on this board, but that doesn't mean that OP's concerns about affording a baby are any less valid.
Your response is like me saying, "OMG, infant daycare in Boston costs $24-$30k a year, so anyone worried about affording $12k a year should shut up!" That response would be ridiculous, and lacking in empathy-much like yours was.
However... I eye-rolled when I read her post because I would kill for those benefits. I will likely get 2 months UNPAID maternity leave. So yeah, complaining about having an entire year off with half pay seems like, for lack of a better term, first world probs.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
I'm in Canada and am lucky enough to get maternity leave, but the financial side still worries me too. I totally understand it would be way harder not to have paid mat leave, but I think we can all be justifiably concerned about earning less and having all the same bills and another person to pay for.
I'm not looking forward to the newborn stage again and I also worry about regretting/resenting having to start over again as another mom mentioned. Our first will be 4.5 and we have a lot more freedom in our life now and I am worried about the back tracking and all the limitations that come with having a baby.
Labor, also, just because I've never done it before.
I am worried about a MMC, but of course there is nothing to be done about that but try to move on and hope for the best.
I'm most worried about MH not stepping up more when we have two kids. We both work outside the home full time but I am BY FAR the primary parent and do the majority of emotional labour around here. It works for us most of the time (MH travels a lot). However, I know that I will need more help when there are two kids, especially as BFing is totally exhausting and if it's anything like DS I'll have a baby attached to my boob for a good six months, limiting my ability to do all the regular stuff (DS started sleeping through at about 15 months. That was a loooooong time to go without a full night's sleep). I really, really hope my husband will be able to step up and do more of the things that keep a family running when I need him to.
TTC#2: BFP: 8-23-15 MMC: 10-29-15
DD 2: 9-15-16
DD 3: 9-16-17
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Oh and yeah... I'm terrified of having a miscarriage at any moment, despite having had a good ultrasound last week.
I'm scared I'll end up losing this one too. This is our last time trying but I have a good feeling we're going to be okay but it still worries me. Money and making it work with 3 kids doesn't really phase me. I know we can do it.
O16 April Siggy
I'm worried about how extreme my symptoms are. I've had tough pregnancies but this one takes the cake. I have never been dizzy every time I attempt to do anything. Makes me worry something is going on with my bp. Trying to tough it out till my apt on thursday but I might just call my Dr again on Monday.
Edited:for spelling
O16 April Siggy
-childbirth/labor/delivery
-recovering from childbirth so that I can do my job again (it's very physically demanding)
-that this m/s will last the WHOLE pregnancy
-the possibility of birth defects leading to a non-viable pregnancy
-m/c
-telling my crazy family that can't get along
-not being able to breastfeed
-being left alone at some point with a newborn to care for
-that my marriage will change negatively
-PPD
I should probably just stop because if I'm not freaking myself out more right now, I'm sure it's giving someone else heart palpitations. Sometimes I just wonder, what am I getting myself into?
i get being worried about labor, but people have done it forever. If you want a good read for feeling empowered about your birth, look into Ina May Gaskin's books. There are tons of stories that will make you feel confident about birthing your baby!
But I'm most scared of how we're going to manage with 2 kids. My husband might not have any income in the fall. I've got a couple of regular freelance gigs -- meaning that if I can't work because I'm in labor, I don't make any money, and if I can't get my work done while I'm taking care of kids, I don't make any money -- and a potential short-term teaching job that depends on whether they're OK with me missing a couple weeks of class to have a baby. I also have done very little creative work since my son was born and worry that adding another kid is like signing an affidavit swearing to never write another word of fiction.
E born 6/2014