What are you most scared of?

babymamamegs

I'm most scared of child birth!! It freaks me out so bad, no history of family complications though so I guess that's a good start! Anyone else afraid of giving birth? Or if you have before, what helped you cope the most of made you most comfortable?

krzyriver

Well I've been trying to have a baby for so long that the thought of labor is a relief. Bring on the pain and blood and screaming and tearing. I just want my rainbow baby. 

aesthyerin

I'm most afraid of the newborn stage again. Bring on 4 months old!

my first birth was amazingly easy. Hoping to be able to have it be that way again 

LauraPCOS

I know this sounds silly but I'm most afraid of not being able to afford this baby.  I make decent money and hubby is working too (even if it pay sucks) and we'll have to make some sacrifices but I'm scared it won't be enough.

dlwright

This is my second pregnancy. My first ended in an extremely complicated emergency c section. Im terrified of enduring another c section, and a VBAC isnt an option for me. Im also scared of being away from my 3 year old while I am in the hospital. Ive never spent a night awy from him, other than working a few overnight shifts. 

babymamamegs

LauraPCOS said:

I know this sounds silly but I'm most afraid of not being able to afford this baby.  I make decent money and hubby is working too (even if it pay sucks) and we'll have to make some sacrifices but I'm scared it won't be enough.

I could see that! Very rational fear, I understand. This is my first but I know that it's going to be so expensive, as long as you two are working I think it will be fine, where there is a will, there is a way! good luck!

LizaKate1213

I'm scared of starting all over. DS will be almost 6 and is very independent. I am scared that I will resent going back to the beginning and starting over. The bright side is I know that time continues and children do grow up and become independent...I just wish they weren't so far apart in age I guess!

Also...need to vent. I just got a friend request from one of my psych patients on Facebook. It upset me so much I deactivated my account. Now I am completely freaked out and really, it is terrifying me. Nothing is scaring me more right now than seeing that name sending me friend requests.

TurtleMomma

I guess I'm most afraid of ds weaning while I'm pregnant. I love breastfeeding and the thought of him being done makes me sad. 

alysie89

Amen to most of those!

I'll have 3 under 4 when this one  arrives so I'm afraid how I'll handle it. Funds are usually tight in my household, so it's always a worry. I'm sure we can do it, I just worry. And OMG, starting over with breastfeeding  and being up all night. Yikes! My youngest  just started sleeping through  the  night. I've rediscovered  how much I enjoy sleeping more than  3 hours a night.

Labour and birth are about the only things that aren't freaking me out right  now. For some reason I can handle labour well and get into a good head space.

nlane0723

Loving them as much as I love DD. How can I love them as much/more than my firstborn?

AshleyGemini24

TW

Honestly. no matter how far along I progress. I'm still afraid of another MC. I check my panties and TP everytime I pee for spotting. Also everyday that I am symptom free, worries me. 

JamieK1882

I'm scared of how to handle two kids. I know it will be ok and tons of people do it, but I really struggled last time with the newborn stage (aka not sleeping), and I'm nervous to add a highly active toddler to the mix this time.

itsmyangel

Scared of a missed mc..,,last scan a week ago baby looked good,measured ahead but no bump yet and lack of symptoms has me freaking

ladyshark311

As of right now I'm terrified of a missed MC since that's what happened last time and I can't think much beyond that. I will be relieved for my U/S on 3/24, it seems so far away. 

So so I feel your pain @itsmyangel and and and anyone else going through that!

Really though all the fears I've read on here are pretty normal. @LizaKate1213 that would freak me out as well!!

missmaehurt

I'm terrified of the labor. All the pain and tearing definitely has me freaked out.

Also, I'm super scared of actually raising a child, I was never the girl interested in babysitting or cooking, so honestly I don't even know how to change a diaper. Guess I'll be learning real fast.  

And lastly I'm most terrified of sending my child to daycare and leaving them alone for 8 hours with someone I don't know. Not to mention missing out on all their firsts because someone else is raising them just breaks my heart. I want to be a sahm so bad after I give birth, but that's just not financially feasible. 

lilbabybrown

@itsmyangel and @ladyshark311 that's me too! Didn't hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks and my symptoms have not been bad since then either. All I want is to hear that little heartbeat!!! Going in on 3/24 as well. Best wishes to us all!

I'm also worried about what this baby will be like as a newborn. Our first was colicky until 6 months and had reflux until about 9 months. It was a nightmare! Still wouldn't trade it for the world, but hoping & praying for a healthy baby!!

mamaklee

I'm terrified of another early, scary birth and NICU stay. We were lucky with only 7 days but I'd love something a little more "traditional" this time. 

kmalls

JamieK1882 said:

I'm scared of how to handle two kids. I know it will be ok and tons of people do it, but I really struggled last time with the newborn stage (aka not sleeping), and I'm nervous to add a highly active toddler to the mix this time.

@JamieK1882 I feel this way exactly. I'm terrified of how to manage a toddler that's into EVERYTHING and a newborn on no sleep. I'm not exactly a highly functional human being while sleep deprived (this first tri has been brutal) and I'm scared I'll totally lose it when the baby arrives. 

blaf322

The money! I'm crazy about making sure we're saving and this is going to cut into that quite a bit. I mean, every daycare we've talked to is $12-13k per year and insurance is going to at least double in cost. It'll all work out... It's just stressful! 

SuperNerd42

Good post! There are lots of fears I identify with. Personally, I'll be scared of having another miscarriage until I can feel the kicks. And I'm too afraid of not hearing the heartbeat to get a Doppler, I think I'd just freak myself out. 

My new baby fear is definitely functioning on so little sleep. I had less going on when DD was an infant, but now I'll need to be semi functional during the day. 

Blonde1817

Still have a small fear of miscarriage.  I'm not really scared of labor or any complications right now.  I'm most scared of finding a daycare that I can trust and afford, and I know that going back to work after my FMLA is up will be insanely difficult and emotional for me.  Unfortunately we just cannot afford to live on one income at this point.  I really hope with the next one I can afford to stay home or work much less.

ladyshark311

@nataliemaephotography I had a friend that felt the same as you but she "hated" small children lol so she was really terrified. She's now a great Mom of two kids and they were both a surprise. You will be just fine!!

mothernorth

What am I NOT scared of right now? Our BFP was a Big Fat Surprise. This will make 4 kids, an 8yo, 4yo, 7mo, then a newborn... we are having to remodel now to accommodate everyone, that drains our savings, I am already starting to struggle with my grades because time is NOT on my side when it comes to my homework/mom work balance, FI works SOOO  much to support us as it is, I hardly see him and am constantly wrangling all these children, I am terrified of trying to care for a newborn and 1yo at the same time, seems like right now childbirth is the least of my concerns. 4 days in the hospital with LO was the biggest "break" I've had in almost 5 years, everything AFTER that is what scares me now. 

lilylover27

@AshleyGemini24@itsmyangel@ladyshark311@lilbabybrown
I am there with all of you on the missed mc. I have never had one and the thought of one has been keeping me anxious throughout the entire first trimester. I had an early  ultrasound due to some spotting at 7 weeks and they saw the heart beat and everything measured fine. That was a relief for a little while, but I have continued on and off spotting this entire first trimester. My OB said it is fine as long as it doesn't progress to bright red blood and heavy bleeding but still it freaks me out! I have my NT scan on 3/23 and the wait is killing me. I just hope we go and LO is progressing right on time and that everything is ok. I feel like this week may be the longest of my life.

Tink112011

aesthyerin said:

I'm most afraid of the newborn stage again. Bring on 4 months old!

my first birth was amazingly easy. Hoping to be able to have it be that way again 

Definitely the newborn stage.  My first birth was not easy (I ended up with an episiotomy and had a tear beyond it.. rough recovery), but I'm still more terrified to go through the newborn stage again.  Same for DH...

MRSCORKER

My husband keeps asking if I'm scared of child birth and my answer is always "No, I'm scared of not making it as far as child birth". 

Wishilivedinflorida

Agreed @MRSCORKER
I'm terrified I won't see a live baby tomorrow at my appointment. 

dam0ne4

I am afraid of that first night home from the hospital.  It was god awful with my daughter.  I'm hoping that since we've already gone through it, it will be easier this time.

I'm also terrified of a mc.  I don't have my first us until 4/12!  The wait is painful.  We had to go through infertility treatments for me to get PG with DD and were lucky this time around.  I'm so worried that it's too good to be true.  I keep trying to tell myself that the odds are greater that I will have a child than miscarry.  Easier said than done though.

kelliott09

I'm definitely afraid but I haven't been sure of what it was. Sometimes I think, omg, I have to give birth again. I've had both, a horrible long painful birth and a short easy breezy birth and you know what? I survived them both so I don't think that's my fear. I was laying in bed last night, just started to doze off and I heard my toddler start to whine on the monitor. My eyes shot open and I thought this is it! This is what I'm afraid of! He is non stop all day long, go go go. I'm constantly chasing him, getting him out of something or down from somewhere because he climbs everything, including me. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted and touched out. I didn't have to do this going from one child to two because my oldest was 11 at the time and pretty self sufficient. But now, even though I'll have three, it's kind of like going from one to two for me. I'm terrified of being exhausted and touched out and finally getting to lay down and then the baby needs me. Every. Two. Hours. Then, it's time to get up and take my oldest to school. Omg, that's it. I fear extreme exhaustion and being worthless to all three of them for the next year or so, depending on how good of a sleeper baby turns out to be. 

WildMama

 Great thread, it's nice to get these out. Now that I am past 11 weeks and have had a good ultrasound and healthy blood test, my fears of a miscarriage are pretty much gone.  

And surprisingly, I am not afraid of birth. I guess I have heard so many stories from other women who have done homebirths about what an empowering experience it was and how our bodies are designed to do this that I trust it. 

 Like many of you, I am afraid of money. I am 34 and my husband is 40 and we have been just taking care of ourselves for so long. It's hard to imagine how we will pay for a whole other human, hopefully two at some point!

JessicaWinn

Our area is like 18k!

jeng100

I'm so afraid of having a newborn and a toddler to contend with. Like others have said, running on no sleep the first time around was so tough, and now with a toddler in the mix, and not being able to nap when the baby naps, I'm so scared. My first didn't sleep through the night until 11 months, and it made my PPD so much worse with so little sleep. I'm also afraid that I'll have PPD again. It was so miserable last time. 

CopperBoom86

Along with PP's, I'm definitely still afraid of MC and MMC.

I'm also very afraid of not having a healthy baby. I see Facebook pages being passed around all the time with titles like "Support for little Tommy" or "Prayers for little Jane" and it breaks my heart. To think about going through all the ups and downs of pregnancy and the pain and joy of birth and to not have a healthy baby in the end... So scary! 

annabenanna

Oh gosh, so many fears I can relate to.

- Like you ladies, I have a fear of a MMC.  I haven't experienced this, but a very close friend of mine went through it.... and reading other stories on here as well has me petrified.   

- Like @CopperBoom86 , I'm also scared of having an unhealthy baby.  SO is Jewish, so now my doctor is also having me undergo the Ashkenazi screening.  Also doing the NIPT.... I just hate the waiting game and having to be always worrying.  Is this what the next 30 weeks will be like?  Just worrying?

- Then I worry about whether our relationship is "babyproof" enough?  The first 100 days of darkness (read this somewhere, it's what they call the first 100 days with a newborn) scares me too.  My boobs will be tender and leaking, my vaj will be bleeding, my hormones all over the place.... SO and I will have a screaming (but beautiful) baby in our house that we still need to get to know.... all so terrifying.  

mrszoess

I keep getting afraid of another mmc. trying to keep the "today I am pregnant" mantra. 

rebeccuh

Still scared of MC or that the baby won't be healthy, and it will be my fault. For example, that Tylenol I just took? Turns out it was extra strength, so obviously I will now spend the rest of my day freaking out that something terrible will happen. I can't wait until our appointment Monday and I really hope it helps put some of this anxiety to rest. 

sportiegrl1213

Love this post. It makes me feel like i'm not alone with my fears. I've been having such insomnia lately and I lay in bed and think mostly about being a mom for the first time. It's such a scary thought. Having this new precious life to take care of and protect. And of course finances are another thing. We are fine but I put stuff into my own head. I like so much saved and budgeted but it'll all work out. Luckily we don't have to pay for day care so that's huge! I haven't been too worried about a MC. I've been thru so my crap in my life and some really bad times, that for once, I feel really good about something and have no second thoughts or fears. Just trying to stay very positive and I avoid (as hard as it is) reading anything negative. Oh and I have my first u/s tomorrow and of course that has been on my mind nonstop. It's more excitement than nervousness but its there. 

smmatt08

I'm most scared of deep water. Not swimming pools but oceans, lakes, rivers.

Oh wait, pregnancy related? As a person who tends to worry and has anxiety, I am working hard to not think about the things I am afraid of, trying to enjoy the present!

lmno304

I found out I'm having twins on friday and had another ultrasound this morning. Right now my biggest fear is that I'm going to go to my next one and I'll have only one little heartbeat. I would hate to raise one baby knowing that there were supposed to be 2. I would be infinitely grateful for the one that made it, but I would always feel like something was missing

mrsman2018

I am scared of a missed mc. I don't get any doppler or ultrasounds until 4-5 months, so it doesn't even feel real right now. I keep not wanting to tell anyone about the pregnancy because I am scared I am not even pregnant even though I know I am. 
I am also scared about how we can afford a baby. With all my student debt and me just started a new job and it does not pay all that much and then I will be on mat leave for a year and get only half my wage. My husband makes okay money, so I guess we will be fine. It will be hard and we will need to do some serious budgeting, but it just makes me scared. 

simcal18

littlewillie2016 said:

I am scared of a missed mc. I don't get any doppler or ultrasounds until 4-5 months, so it doesn't even feel real right now. I keep not wanting to tell anyone about the pregnancy because I am scared I am not even pregnant even though I know I am. 
I am also scared about how we can afford a baby. With all my student debt and me just started a new job and it does not pay all that much and then I will be on mat leave for a year and get only half my wage. My husband makes okay money, so I guess we will be fine. It will be hard and we will need to do some serious budgeting, but it just makes me scared. 

Yeah, complaining on a board with a bunch of Americans on it that you "only' get half your pay and a year of maternity leave at your brand new job is not going to get you a lot of sympathy.