So Much Stress Lately — The Bump
1st Trimester

So Much Stress Lately

I have been under a lot of stress at work but especially with my fiance.  It seems for the past week or so all we do is fight.  We try to have a normal conversation over text and it always turns into a huge fight where supposedly I am misunderstanding him.  He tells me there's no emotion in a text and I beg to differ.  Today I told him I had to run something over to a girlfriend's that I borrowed and he flipped in his text asking me who she was, why I haven't mentioned her, and why can't she come get it with.  It was a snappy tone in my opinion.  I asked him politely to quit snapping at me at work and he told me that he doesn't snap and he's done talking to me.  Wtf?  Do I have the problem of misreading texts because I'm pregnant and emotional or is he the one not realizing how he's coming across in a text?

Re: So Much Stress Lately

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  • I cannot stress enough how frustrating text conversations are.  It is sometimes impossible to read into someone's emotions over text.  I've learned through trial and error that there are just some conversations you have to have in person, or at least over a phone call.
  • Being snappy ("I don't snap. I'm done talking to you" is really snappy) and then blaming it all on your interpretation is a form of gaslighting. He is making you question your perception of reality. If he cannot be bothered to learn to effectively communicate over text, he should not communicate over text, especially when it comes to serious things. Sit him down to outline more effective means of communication.
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  • Yeah don't text. Stick to phone calls but sounds like you guys really need to sit down face to face. Meanings and tones of a text can be interpreted in many ways even for the silliest stuff. This is the perfect time to do this while engaged and before baby arrives. There will always be arguments and misunderstandings. Always communicate! Wait to cool off if needed and take turns talking.
  • Texting while hormonal is a bad idea. Texting can cause miscommunications.  Try making a rule and talk to each other face to face. Give your man the benefit of the doubt and start again. I know I'm super emotional, crabby and extra sensitive right now too thanks to hormones. Hope your able to rest and communication leads to a positive outcome. :)
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